Hi! I'm a new member here! I've suffered from OCD for more than 8 months now and it's gotten so bad. I worried and worried that I was a homosexual and worse things and now I've been OCDing about vowing something to the devil or wanting to do that, and also vowing a vow of celibacy and vowing to become a nun--three things that I do not want to do and for the latter two I do not feel called to do. I can't even trust if I feel called to do something because I have intrusive thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I'll want to do something, for example: eating spaghetti or just drinking lemonade and then I feel like that my brain has said (without words or in the back of my mind) that if I do those things then I that means I'll become a nun or make a vow of celibacy or that these actions signify that I am making that vow. Or the words "If you do this, then ____" will come into my head. And then I also feel like I actually mean it when I don't mean it and it kills me every time. Then I say in my head or out loud that doing these things does not signify a vow of celibacy or mean I will make a vow of celibacy. It's gotten to the point where with almost every single action I do I have to say those words to refute the stuff I feel my brain means or says or both in my head. Then today--less than an hour ago-- I was OCDing about being to become a nun or not and then I checked my phone and my friend had sent a video of a nun singing on the show, the Voice. I don't believe in coincidences but I don't know if that is a sign or anything but it made me really anxious. I don't know if that's a sign or if that's just something to test me. I don't know why that video was sent. It could be anything really. I can barely function. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do please help. If anyone has gone through any of this and gotten out of it please give advice. Or if you help people with OCD for a living or anything like that please help. I'm fighting OCD everyday and I'm hanging by a thread.