• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

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~Ivy~

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Hi! I'm a new member here! :) I've suffered from OCD for more than 8 months now and it's gotten so bad. I worried and worried that I was a homosexual and worse things and now I've been OCDing about vowing something to the devil or wanting to do that, and also vowing a vow of celibacy and vowing to become a nun--three things that I do not want to do and for the latter two I do not feel called to do. I can't even trust if I feel called to do something because I have intrusive thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I'll want to do something, for example: eating spaghetti or just drinking lemonade and then I feel like that my brain has said (without words or in the back of my mind) that if I do those things then I that means I'll become a nun or make a vow of celibacy or that these actions signify that I am making that vow. Or the words "If you do this, then ____" will come into my head. And then I also feel like I actually mean it when I don't mean it and it kills me every time. Then I say in my head or out loud that doing these things does not signify a vow of celibacy or mean I will make a vow of celibacy. It's gotten to the point where with almost every single action I do I have to say those words to refute the stuff I feel my brain means or says or both in my head. Then today--less than an hour ago-- I was OCDing about being to become a nun or not and then I checked my phone and my friend had sent a video of a nun singing on the show, the Voice. I don't believe in coincidences but I don't know if that is a sign or anything but it made me really anxious. I don't know if that's a sign or if that's just something to test me. I don't know why that video was sent. It could be anything really. I can barely function. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do please help. If anyone has gone through any of this and gotten out of it please give advice. Or if you help people with OCD for a living or anything like that please help. I'm fighting OCD everyday and I'm hanging by a thread.
 

I'm_Sorry

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Hi! I'm a new member here! :) I've suffered from OCD for more than 8 months now and it's gotten so bad. I worried and worried that I was a homosexual and worse things and now I've been OCDing about vowing something to the devil or wanting to do that, and also vowing a vow of celibacy and vowing to become a nun--three things that I do not want to do and for the latter two I do not feel called to do. I can't even trust if I feel called to do something because I have intrusive thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I'll want to do something, for example: eating spaghetti or just drinking lemonade and then I feel like that my brain has said (without words or in the back of my mind) that if I do those things then I that means I'll become a nun or make a vow of celibacy or that these actions signify that I am making that vow. Or the words "If you do this, then ____" will come into my head. And then I also feel like I actually mean it when I don't mean it and it kills me every time. Then I say in my head or out loud that doing these things does not signify a vow of celibacy or mean I will make a vow of celibacy. It's gotten to the point where with almost every single action I do I have to say those words to refute the stuff I feel my brain means or says or both in my head. Then today--less than an hour ago-- I was OCDing about being to become a nun or not and then I checked my phone and my friend had sent a video of a nun singing on the show, the Voice. I don't believe in coincidences but I don't know if that is a sign or anything but it made me really anxious. I don't know if that's a sign or if that's just something to test me. I don't know why that video was sent. It could be anything really. I can barely function. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do please help. If anyone has gone through any of this and gotten out of it please give advice. Or if you help people with OCD for a living or anything like that please help. I'm fighting OCD everyday and I'm hanging by a thread.


Dear sister.

First realise these intrusive thoughts are not you but the enemy, satan the devil.

Now that he is identified pray the Lord's Prayer:

Matthew 6:9-13
In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Remember:

God if faithful:

1 Corinthians 1:9
God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

God cares for you and wants you to give your anxieties over to Him:

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

We are at war with the adversary the devil and his works:

2 Corinthians 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Ephesians 6:12
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

God has given us His protection in His name with the armour of God:

Ephesians 6:10-18
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

261518_e59795c24dc63a8a70712d5f9a1fabb1.jpg



All power and authority has been given to Christ Jesus!

1 Peter 3:22
Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him.

His name is power!

Luke 10:17
The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name."

When you have an attack, pray:

Dear Lord Christ Jesus, may you rebuke the enemy and all his works,
may you cast him away and grant me the fruits of your Holy Spirit, in your name Lord, the name above all names.
Amen.


Remember your armour!!!!!

We are hungry and thirsty for Him.

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

John 4:14
14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

When your attacked put this on and lay down and allow God to fill you with His ever lasting Spring His Holy Spirit as you feed on His Word:


Much love in Christ Jesus sister, may He bless you!
Amen.

---

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
 
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Blessed Each Day

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The devil likes to mess with us when we're at our most vulnerable, and I pray the Lord gives you strength to overcome these thoughts that seem to occur with varying intensity. I use to have those, "If I do this then x will happen" or "it means x". You just have to know that this is an irrational way of thought, and while you need to be receptive to God's word when he's trying to speak with you, the thoughts you're having are fleeting and (in my opinion) without value. Whether or not you want to become a nun obviously is a big decision, but don't let it consume you to the point of driving you to despair, because such a decision will be a point in your life where it will just "click." You'll just know. When you catch yourself in that train of thought of "If this then this" cut yourself off before you even finish. Keep cutting yourself off. Pray for guidance, but with time you'll stop having this thought-pattern, and it might be worth it to talk to a therapist about possible cognitive behavioral therapy treatments (fancy way of changing the way you may negatively think.) God bless you, and may the Lord give you patience and understanding when times may seem dark!
 
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I'm_Sorry

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Philippians 2:9-11

9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
 
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I'm_Sorry

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With each thought that enters your mind that brings you a heavy feeling (depression/darkness) or anxiety (extreme worry), pray for the Lord Christ Jesus to rebuke the devil.

You're God's child and He has equipped us all to war against the enemy:

Ephesians 6:12
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.



When you are overcome, I learnt yesterday, we're not alone!

"I thank God we don't do this alone, that His body is here for each of it's members in His Spirit through our Lord Christ Jesus the head of His body."

"The power of our brothers and sisters prayers was heard and answered by our Lord! :)

We pull together as members of His body and amazing things happen :)"

May we all pray for you sister.
 
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~Ivy~

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Dear sister.

First realise these intrusive thoughts are not you but the enemy, satan the devil.

Now that he is identified pray the Lord's Prayer:

Matthew 6:9-13
In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Remember:

God if faithful:

1 Corinthians 1:9
God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

God cares for you and wants you to give your anxieties over to Him:

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

We are at war with the adversary the devil and his works:

2 Corinthians 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Ephesians 6:12
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

God has given us His protection in His name with the armour of God:

Ephesians 6:10-18
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

261518_e59795c24dc63a8a70712d5f9a1fabb1.jpg



All power and authority has been given to Christ Jesus!

1 Peter 3:22
Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him.

His name is power!

Luke 10:17
The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name."

When you have an attack, pray:

Dear Lord Christ Jesus, may you rebuke the enemy and all his works,
may you cast him away and grant me the fruits of your Holy Spirit, in your name Lord, the name above all names.
Amen.


Remember your armour!!!!!

We are hungry and thirsty for Him.

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

John 4:14
14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

When your attacked put this on and lay down and allow God to fill you with His ever lasting Spring His Holy Spirit as you feed on His Word:


Much love in Christ Jesus sister, may He bless you!
Amen.

---

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Thank you :) I will try to think on these Bible verses when I'm attacked
 
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I'm_Sorry

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Thank you :) I will try to think on these Bible verses when I'm attacked

Stay in His word allow Him to teach you the Truth. :)

The enemy kept me from this for too long, I cant emphasise enough at the moment how important it is to be fed by His Word (because I was hungry) and quenched by His living water his Holy Spirit (because I was thirsty).

Lots of love in Christ Jesus sister.
Amen.
 
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Mari17

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Hi Ivy, this is classic OCD! Boy do I feel for you, because I have struggled with various obsessive themes since I was eight, and I remember having some really hard ones when I was around your age! I'm going to reread your post more thoroughly so I can give a detailed response, but I just wanted to reach out quickly first and say you are not alone and there is sooo much hope! OCD is not easy to overcome but it is possible. (Note that overcoming does not mean being totally healed, but it does mean being able to manage it and lead a happy and productive life!) Stay tuned for the long post LOL...
 
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~Ivy~

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The devil likes to mess with us when we're at our most vulnerable, and I pray the Lord gives you strength to overcome these thoughts that seem to occur with varying intensity. I use to have those, "If I do this then x will happen" or "it means x". You just have to know that this is an irrational way of thought, and while you need to be receptive to God's word when he's trying to speak with you, the thoughts you're having are fleeting and (in my opinion) without value. Whether or not you want to become a nun obviously is a big decision, but don't let it consume you to the point of driving you to despair, because such a decision will be a point in your life where it will just "click." You'll just know. When you catch yourself in that train of thought of "If this then this" cut yourself off before you even finish. Keep cutting yourself off. Pray for guidance, but with time you'll stop having this thought-pattern, and it might be worth it to talk to a therapist about possible cognitive behavioral therapy treatments (fancy way of changing the way you may negatively think.) God bless you, and may the Lord give you patience and understanding when times may seem dark!
Thank you so much :) This was very helpful. Should I ignore that video that my friend sent me? I just keep worrying it's a sign. :(

Also, after I try to ignore those thoughts or feelings of vows and just do what I'm trying to do (like eating spaghetti, etc,) I feel like I've taken that vow. Should I just ignore that too? I've worried about taking these vows for so long and worried about wanting to take these vows that sometimes I actually feel like I want to make those vows. And so I made a list of why I shouldn't take those vows, for example: I should not make a vow of celibacy because: I do not know the future, I might burn with passion for a guy one day and God says (I paraphrase) it is better for one to marry than to burn with passion, one can be single without making that vow, etc.

I'll go over this list but sometimes I feel like I'm actually wanting to make the vow and then the next time I try to ignore those thoughts or feelings of vows and just do what I'm trying to do (like eating spaghetti, etc,) I feel like I've taken that vow even more.

And then I also worry and question whether I've truly taken that vow or if in my subconscious I truly wanted and did make that vow. (Sorry that this has gotten so complicated). I don't think I can trust my will or anything. Will God annul those vows?
 
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~Ivy~

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Hi Ivy, this is classic OCD! Boy do I feel for you, because I have struggled with various obsessive themes since I was eight, and I remember having some really hard ones when I was around your age! I'm going to reread your post more thoroughly so I can give a detailed response, but I just wanted to reach out quickly first and say you are not alone and there is sooo much hope! OCD is not easy to overcome but it is possible. (Note that overcoming does not mean being totally healed, but it does mean being able to manage it and lead a happy and productive life!) Stay tuned for the long post LOL...
Thank you so much! I just replied to @Blessed Each Day and it has kind of a continuation of my post. So if you would like to more thoroughly read about my OCD then that's there too. Sorry that my posts are so long :o
 
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Mari17

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OK, I'll try to address the different parts of your post:
- First, about the video of a nun. OCD makes us notice things more when we're worried, because our brains are already sensitive to that. If you weren't already obsessing about becoming a nun, you wouldn't give that video a second thought. I do this with my obsessions too - since my mind is already aware of my obsessive topic, I notice everything related to it and tend to think they are "signs." They're not.
- Making unwanted vows and fear of communicating with the devil are very, very common obsessions. I went through two separate obsessions, one where I was afraid of "making promises to God" and one where I was afraid of praying to the devil.
- When you're in an obsession, you always feel like you "might mean it ." That's because OCD purposely tries to confuse us. The way it works is this: You get a thought that is weird, or seems "evil." (e.g. "Maybe I want to promise something to the devil"). A person without OCD will filter a thought like this almost without thinking. They see it, realize it's strange and they don't really mean it, and move on with life. Those of us with OCD have this predisposition to anxiety. So, our OCD sees a thought like that and goes "Ah ha! Something to be afraid of! Maybe you really do mean it!" And it's pretty much a lost cause from there. We are SO intensely afraid that the thought might be true, even though we know deep down that it isn't. But, because we're so afraid, our minds go into hyper-analytical mode, and suddenly we can't stop thinking about the matter. We start analyzing every thought and feeling and we're looking at these things so closely that we can't see the truth. We're too afraid to back up and trust our instincts and common sense. "Well...I know I probably don't mean it but....WHAT IF I DO?"

OK, that was part 1. I tend to write really long posts so I'm breaking this into two. The second part is about how to have victory over OCD! :)
 
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Blessed Each Day

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Well you haven't taken those vows, and no subconscious thoughts you have, or actions you may take (eating spaghetti etc.) mean you have taken a vow. That's just how it is, no matter how you slice it. Obviously, with OCD it's very, VERY easy to construe these thoughts/events as indicative of something greater when in fact they aren't. You've so much in life to experience, and you worry too much about taking a vow so early. You may meet someone, like you said, that will change your whole mindset. I understand the vow is something you've been contemplating, but know that you don't have to make a choice now; there's no time limit on when you have to make it.

Also, you can be celibate without making an unbreakable vow to God to remain celibate for your lifetime, they are not one and the same. My thought is, live your life, experience what God has in store for you, and if you choose to be celibate, that's great! You need not make a vow to God to do so, that can be a choice of your own like, "Hey, I want to be celibate until marriage" so don't stress so much about that (I know it's easy to say and hard to do :/. As for the video, I wouldn't put much stock in it, you've got to let God guide you, and interpreting his messages can be difficult, but not everything is a message, sometimes there are coincidences. If it's causing you this much trepidation, I would just hold off, and live your life for the time being, and remember what I said about cutting yourself off from those, "If this then that" statements. They will start to lessen more and more as time goes on.
 
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Mari17

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All right, I read your latest post too. You don't need to apologize for the long posts, our OCD brains are pretty messy and that tends to come out on paper (or a computer screen) too. :)
OK, how to fight OCD. It sounds like you have a basic idea already, because you know you need to ignore what your brain is telling you. You ask if you should ignore the fears that come when you ignore too. Yes, yes, and yes. Ignore, ignore, ignore. I don't know if you've gotten any help for your OCD in the form of meds or therapy, but basicially the best way to overcome OCD is considered to be ERP therapy. Basically, it's ignoring the fear that your brain is screaming at you, and refusing to do compulsions. That means doing the things you're afraid to do, like all the stuff you mentioned that you feel like you shouldn't do because it might mean you're making a vow. Don't listen to that fearful part of your brain. I know it feels like your conscience, and that's what's really hard for those of us with OCD. When we're in an obsession, it always feels like we're dong something wrong when we ignore the fear. That's because our brains have faulty "wiring" that makes us feel anxious when we don't need to be. We have to learn to ignore that false alarm. If you give in and do your compulsions, the OCD will continue to stay strong and even get worse. It's only through living through the fear that we can get better. That means taking the "risk" that you might be making a vow. You have to do what you're afraid of doing, and if you do it enough, your brain will see that you don't really mean the vow, that it's all just from OCD. You'll be able to see clearly without the confusion, to know what you really think instead of feeling like you don't know. It's kind of backwards, but it works. I'm going to link you to an article that explains it so much butter than I can. Basically, these are the steps:
1. Ignore the anxious thoughts and fears.
2. Refuse to do compulsions. (Compulsions also include "cancelling" the thought by telling God you didn't mean it or whatever you normally do. You have to just let the thought be there, recognizing that it's just a product of your OCD brain and is meaningless.)
3. Some people also add a third step of purposely exposing themselves to the fear, which can make your recovery quicker. It might be easier to do with a therapist, but it's possible to do on your own.

OK, my computer wants to keep freezing so I'm going to post this before I lose it. I'll finish my thoughts in the next section! :)
 
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I'm_Sorry

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Regarding vows:

What does the Bible say about keeping your vows / oaths?

Perhaps this is why Jesus gave a new commandment concerning vows. "Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No ,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one" (Matthew 5:33-37).

It is important to realize that Jesus was not condemning all forms of promises, contracts, or agreements. The term "vows," in this case, means a specific type of oath. Jesus was referring to the kind of spontaneous vow made when a person says, "I cross my heart and hope to die…" or "I swear on a stack of Bibles…" or "I swear on my mother's life…" His teaching is not meant to discourage careful, thought-out promises, such as wedding vows or a legal contract.

The principle here is clear for Christians: do not make vows, either to the Lord or to one another. First, we are unable to know for sure whether we will be able to keep vows. The fact that we are prone to the errors in judgment which are part of our fallen nature means that we may make vows foolishly or out of immaturity. Further, we don’t know what the future will bring—only God does. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow (James 4:14), so to make a vow that we will do or not do something is foolish. God is the one in control, not us, and He “works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Knowing this, we can see that it is unnecessary to make vows and that it indicates a lack of trust in Him. Finally, Jesus commands that our word be sufficient without making vows. When we say “yes” or “no,” that’s exactly what we should mean. Adding vows or oaths to our words opens us up to the influence of Satan whose desire is to trap us and compromise our Christian testimony.

If we have made a vow foolishly and realized we cannot or should not keep it, we should confess it to God, knowing that He is “faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). A broken vow, while serious, is not an unforgivable matter if taken to the Lord in true confession. God will not hold us to vows made imprudently, but He expects us to obey Jesus and refrain from making vows in the future.
 
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I'll finish up by saying that I respectfully disagree with some of the other commenters on here that OCD is a spiritual problem and that your thoughts are from the devil . Can the devil use our weaknesses against us? Of course he can. He doesn't want us to be victorious and happy in our walk with Christ. BUT the thoughts in themselves are not from the devil. They are from your OCD, and it's just a matter of training your mind to learn which thought to respond to and which not to. (Hint: NOT the OCD thoughts!)
I highly recommend that you read the article below, which explains ERP very well:
Managing the Haunting Thoughts of Pure O – OCD
This site also has great resources, although keep in mind that if your brain is sensitive to certain topics it might trigger your anxiety (because she talks about different types of obsessions). Not something to be afraid of, just aware of:
Welcome
I know this is a lot of info, but as you're processing it feel free to ask questions as needed. Please also feel free to pm me whenever! I'm not a counselor but I've had a lot of experience with OCD so I love helping others fight against it, because it's so possible to overcome even when it feels hopeless!
 
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I'm_Sorry

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Ecclesiastes 5:1-7

5 Walk prudently when you go to the house of God; and draw near to hear rather than to give the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they do evil.

2 Do not be rash with your mouth,
And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.
For God is in heaven, and you on earth;
Therefore let your words be few.
3 For a dream comes through much activity,
And a fool’s voice is known by his many words.

4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it;
For He has no pleasure in fools.
Pay what you have vowed—
5 Better not to vow than to vow and not pay.

6 Do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of God that it was an error. Why should God be angry at your excuse and destroy the work of your hands? 7 For in the multitude of dreams and many words there is also vanity. But fear God.
 
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~Ivy~

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OK, I'll try to address the different parts of your post:
- First, about the video of a nun. OCD makes us notice things more when we're worried, because our brains are already sensitive to that. If you weren't already obsessing about becoming a nun, you wouldn't give that video a second thought. I do this with my obsessions too - since my mind is already aware of my obsessive topic, I notice everything related to it and tend to think they are "signs." They're not.
- Making unwanted vows and fear of communicating with the devil are very, very common obsessions. I went through two separate obsessions, one where I was afraid of "making promises to God" and one where I was afraid of praying to the devil.
- When you're in an obsession, you always feel like you "might mean it ." That's because OCD purposely tries to confuse us. The way it works is this: You get a thought that is weird, or seems "evil." (e.g. "Maybe I want to promise something to the devil"). A person without OCD will filter a thought like this almost without thinking. They see it, realize it's strange and they don't really mean it, and move on with life. Those of us with OCD have this predisposition to anxiety. So, our OCD sees a thought like that and goes "Ah ha! Something to be afraid of! Maybe you really do mean it!" And it's pretty much a lost cause from there. We are SO intensely afraid that the thought might be true, even though we know deep down that it isn't. But, because we're so afraid, our minds go into hyper-analytical mode, and suddenly we can't stop thinking about the matter. We start analyzing every thought and feeling and we're looking at these things so closely that we can't see the truth. We're too afraid to back up and trust our instincts and common sense. "Well...I know I probably don't mean it but....WHAT IF I DO?"

OK, that was part 1. I tend to write really long posts so I'm breaking this into two. The second part is about how to have victory over OCD! :)

Thank youuuuu!!!! I am going to go read your other post a second time more thoroughly. The reason why I worry if that video is a sign is because I just began worrying tonight about making a vow to become a nun and right after beginning that, my friend sent that video. I don't know; maybe it was sent because it partly caused me to start an account and post on this forum and everyone replying has been very helpful already. I'm kind of worrying whether God wants me to take the vow because of the video; could it be a sign, or a coincidence, or was it just there so I would make this account-- I don't know. :o How would someone know if something was a coincidence or a sign from God?
Also, I've OCDed about a ton of other things but those thing fade more when I OCD more about something else even though I still do OCD about those other things. Also, I will just worry that I'm going to OCD about something (like vowing to become a nun) and then that will lead to OCDing about the very thing I didn't want to OCD and the more I try not to think about that thing, the more I think about it.

Just made another long post :o
 
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~Ivy~

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I'll finish up by saying that I respectfully disagree with some of the other commenters on here that OCD is a spiritual problem and that your thoughts are from the devil . Can the devil use our weaknesses against us? Of course he can. He doesn't want us to be victorious and happy in our walk with Christ. BUT the thoughts in themselves are not from the devil. They are from your OCD, and it's just a matter of training your mind to learn which thought to respond to and which not to. (Hint: NOT the OCD thoughts!)
I highly recommend that you read the article below, which explains ERP very well:
Managing the Haunting Thoughts of Pure O – OCD
This site also has great resources, although keep in mind that if your brain is sensitive to certain topics it might trigger your anxiety (because she talks about different types of obsessions). Not something to be afraid of, just aware of:
Welcome
I know this is a lot of info, but as you're processing it feel free to ask questions as needed. Please also feel free to pm me whenever! I'm not a counselor but I've had a lot of experience with OCD so I love helping others fight against it, because it's so possible to overcome even when it feels hopeless!
Thank you so so much!! You encourage me and it's comforting to know that others know what it feels like and that there is victory in this. :) I will go and read those articles. God bless you!! Also, I just replied to your first post and it's kind of lengthy too :o You can expect messages from me probably Because it's going to be a long struggle :o :) thank you again :)
 
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Mari17

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LOL yes a very OCD-ish post! Short answer: DON'T TAKE THE VOW. Your question "But how will I KNOW....?" is something we all do every time we're in a new obsession. And yes, your OCD will keep switching topics because it wants you to be worried about SOMETHING. Basically, unless you KNOW that it's not OCD, it's OCD! I'm off to work but I'm on here a couple times a day so keep posting/pming your questions and I'll try to answer them as I can! Praying that you find the resources, wisdom, and courage to beat this thing!!!
 
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