I need help with telling close friends...

[Rabid_Rabbit]

Can I get some advice from anyone who has confided in their friends that they self harm.

I really need the support of my friends with my cutting but I've been putting off telling them for two years now.
We have always been there for each other in so many situations but I am finding it so hard to tell them.

Could someone please give me some sugesstions on how to "break the news".
This is something I really want to do but no time ever seems the right time.

 

[Gwen'sMom]

I am also a cutter and I haven't told anyone yet. I am sure that you will get many different responses. Some may get freaked out and think you are suicidal. I have often wondered what my friends would think. I don't know you and your exact feelings but from what I have read self injurers aren't interested in dying. What about equiping yourself with as much info as you can get on SI? There are many websites. And it is hard to find the right time. I will keep you in my prayers!

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I agree with Gwen'sMom. Learn about SI so that you can explain it to them. Most of your friends wont know what to think when you first tell them because chances are that many of them haven't come in contact with SI before. I am a friend of a few people who SI and I've found it a lot easier to talk to my friend when I know what it is they're dealing with.
I'm praying for you Gorgeous!
Shalom,
Steffi

 

[Rabid_Rabbit]

Thankyou Gwen'smom,
No I am not interested in dying. I'ts just something I've got in the habit of using to cope with stuff and it's a killer habit to break, as you probably know.
Thankyou for your prayers. That means so much to me.
I think one particular friend would probably be more understanding than the others, so I will focus on telling her.

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

I've told several people now. The first time was definitely the hardest. I've also gotten various responses.

For me, I COULD NOT tell someone out loud about cutting. The words just wouldn't come out of my mouth- even when I would practice saying it while I was alone. I couldn't do it. I ended up giving her a little tract about cutting to read and breaking the news that way. It worked pretty well because the pamphlet explained it well- the motives and everything, and explained it calmly, saying that people who SI are not necessarily suicidal- stuff like that.

I told two people through using pamphlets, two through e-mail, and one just straight out. Honestly, as of yet, no one I've told in person has been able to help me. Even so, it's nice for people to know- nice not to have to worry about them finding out. I hope things work out for you, and that I helped at least a little. Feel free to pm me!

-Hannah

 

[justaspeck]

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[HOLYROLLER71]

Hi,I understand how you feel,I've been a cutter for 21 years.I would start by telling my friends that my depression was getting worse,I state it that way because most of my close friends knew I was depressed.When I told my friends I started out telling the ones I was closet to.I guess they also allready knew how much I hated myself so I started from there,I told them that I had a problem and that it proablly wasn't going to make sense to them and I asked them to please listen to me,I told them also how I would punish myself,I explained to them that it was like I did something wrong and instead of someone else pinishing me I did it myself by cuting.Some understood and others acted like they did,but it was worth it because I had someone to turn to.I hope that maby something I've shared might possibily give you some ideas,I will keep you in my prayers and I hope that by telling someone that it will help you not want to cut or hurt yourself in any way,God Bless you.

 

[berry2000]

I have been able to tell a few people. Make sure you are confiding in people who you truly trust. People who care about you. Not everyone can handle information like this so just be careful. So far for me, thank the Lord, everyone has responded with compassion. I wish the same for you. Also don't feel like everyone has to be party to this information. Perhaps confiding in one or two is enough, not everyone can handle it.

 

[Rabid_Rabbit]

Thankyou for all the replies everyone. They have all been so helpful.
I think I will tell one friend who is going through depression herself and is very understanding and close to me,
I just have to work myself up to it now.

 

[HolyOne87]

I have been able to tell a few people. Make sure you are confiding in people who you truly trust. People who care about you. Not everyone can handle information like this so just be careful. So far for me, thank the Lord, everyone has responded with compassion. I wish the same for you. Also don't feel like everyone has to be party to this information. Perhaps confiding in one or two is enough, not everyone can handle it.

I agree. I only opened up to two people about that stuff...because I fully trusted them with all of my heart and I know they would comfort me.
Maybe think about your friends, and choose one or two that you fully feel close to; one or two that will respond with love.

 

[MissHollywood21]

i told my friends, and they went and told on me right away. i had another friend who'd cut also. and once i stopped she got mad at me because she didn't want me to stop. she didn't wanna be the only one.

 

[NoddaProbBob]

Can I get some advice from anyone who has confided in their friends that they self harm.

I really need the support of my friends with my cutting but I've been putting off telling them for two years now.
We have always been there for each other in so many situations but I am finding it so hard to tell them.

Could someone please give me some sugesstions on how to "break the news".
This is something I really want to do but no time ever seems the right time.

I wish you luck with this.....
Maybe its just me, that I've made bad choices in friends, but I've lost a lot of friends by telling them that I cut.

But just pray that God has given you good friends, and that they won't turn on you like my friends did...

best of luck...

J.j

 

[HolyOne87]

i told my friends, and they went and told on me right away. i had another friend who'd cut also. and once i stopped she got mad at me because she didn't want me to stop. she didn't wanna be the only one.

I mean, I could understand why your friends said something(because they care about you). As far as your other friend(the one who got mad because you stopped), I feel she did the wrong thing there. I mean, one person in my life that I told was also a person who cut as well...but she didn't force me to keep doing it though. I ended up stopping and then ended up helping her stop.
Dont let that one friend control that part of your life. You should stop. And when you do, try and comfort your friend who still is..and maybe help her stop, so she isn't cutting anymore either.
That is just my thoughts..Don't know if it will help any. Hopefully it will.

+God Bless+

 

[MissHollywood21]

well that's werid i had posted and saw it but now it's gone.
but i had said that.

i had stopped, but i dunno for how long though, because of what's going on now with me.
but my friends parnets took her to a shrink. and she's stopped also

 

[texannurse]

I totally agree with telling someone you can truly trust. I told a friend and she has been such a support. Truly a blessing for me when things are hard. She's even asked for information on cutting so she can understand what I do and why. I wish everyone were as blessed.

 

[Rabid_Rabbit]

I totally agree with telling someone you can truly trust. I told a friend and she has been such a support. Truly a blessing for me when things are hard. She's even asked for information on cutting so she can understand what I do and why. I wish everyone were as blessed.

Wow that is so cool! It must be such a relief to have someone you can truly trust to talk to.

 

[peacechild]

I wish you luck with this.....
Maybe its just me, that I've made bad choices in friends, but I've lost a lot of friends by telling them that I cut.

But just pray that God has given you good friends, and that they won't turn on you like my friends did...

best of luck...

J.j

Agreed...


If I had any, I wouldn't tell my friends about it. People don't get it, and sometimes no matter how much you want them to, they just can't understand. Be careful....think twice about whether or not you really want to tell them. I know I wouldn't.

 

[aca_rev55]

If you're concerned with how they will respond, I can pretty much totally empathize.
The first time I told my friends, they were afraid, confused, concerned... etc. They did tell on me, which didn't help, but I know their intentions were good. All you can really do is find a time where you're alone with a serious atmosphere, and explain to them that you have difficulty dealing with certain things, and though you know it's not right, you've found a coping mechanism... which, naturally, is not good and you need to get away from. Or something. It's like 12:30, I'm not making a whole lot of sense lol.

My friends now trust me, and know me better... I haven't done anything in about 5 months.

I guess I should probably let them know I've relapsed.