4ujesus
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- Oct 7, 2005
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Richardt
THe last thing you need right now is a girlfriend. I spent 15 years of my life as a youth pastor, and though it might be the social norm at your age to date, the truth is that it is very, very rare for anything Godly to come of it.
Dating is relatively new, the last 100 years of so. and prior to that there was a much more biblically sound method of courtship to marriage.
Dating tends to be based on a more self centered Love(eros in the bible). A love focused on what the other person can do for you. As soon as that person stops meeting your needs or someone better comes along, you break up.
Most teenagers who date go through several relationships all of which end in a breakup. The standard thay have set for their relationships is self centered Love that ends in failure. It is no wonder that the divorce rate is so high.
I believe a more Biblical model is courtship to marriage. Where every potential relationship is looked at through the lense of whether or not this is the person God has for me to spend the rest of my life with. A relationship that is more than just a physical attraction(which ofcourse will be there), but is based on not just eros or physical love(where we get the word erotic), but is a Selfless love that originates with God(Agape)
With eros love, there is no respect for the other person. For guys especially who tend to look at young women as only a means for physical gratification.
Agape Love is esteeming and respecting the other person as greater than yourself. It is the fruit of the Holy Spirit found in Galatians 5:22.
Eros is a love that takes
Agape is a love that gives
For God so loved (agape) the world that he Gave His only Begotten Son........
Richardt the emotions you have expressed and the struggles you have dealt with are prime examples of EROS love. If you were to get involved in a relationship right now we both know the physical temptation would be high, like pouring gasoline on a fire. It is time to get the fire under control of the Lord.
You are still a young man and as many other posts have suggested, your aim right now ought to be on becoming a more Godly young man. falling in love with the lord and letting him fill the void and need in your life.
Preparing yourself to be a Godly man and Husband for the women God has set aside for you from before the foundation of the world
I know from the worlds point of view this is an odd perspective, but I also believe that it is a Godly one. No where in the Bible do you see multiple dating partners, but a man for a women for a lifetime.
Remember that in Genesis, God caused a deep sleep to fall over Adam, and then He brought him his wife.(from his rib). He didn't give Adam a bow and arrow and say go hunt her down. It isn't easy, but God's highest is for you to wait for him to bring you a wife in his perfect timing.
Right now you are far to young to be considering marriage so courtship will have to wait for a more appropriate time.
One thing you can do for your future wife right now, along with seeking to grow in the Lord, is to pray for her. God knows who she is right now. Pray that God's hand would be upon her, that she too would be focused on him right now, becoming the Godly wife you will need one day.
For me this is not just theory. I have four teenagers (1 girl and 3 boys) and we practice this in our home. In todays society it is always easy to do so, but in the end it wiil be worth it.
My Mom and I began to pray for my wife when I was a little boy. And many years later when we finally met, I can't even begin to tell you the incredible Love and respect God gave me for my wife when I realized she was the one we had been praying for for all those years.
When my mom meet her she told her she was so blessed to have finally the girl she had been praying for. It was an incredible blessing to my wife to find out that our family had been praying for her from before we even knew her.
Richardt God has an awesome girl out there for you, just not yet. Seek him, pray for her, and God will do great and awesome things.
THe last thing you need right now is a girlfriend. I spent 15 years of my life as a youth pastor, and though it might be the social norm at your age to date, the truth is that it is very, very rare for anything Godly to come of it.
Dating is relatively new, the last 100 years of so. and prior to that there was a much more biblically sound method of courtship to marriage.
Dating tends to be based on a more self centered Love(eros in the bible). A love focused on what the other person can do for you. As soon as that person stops meeting your needs or someone better comes along, you break up.
Most teenagers who date go through several relationships all of which end in a breakup. The standard thay have set for their relationships is self centered Love that ends in failure. It is no wonder that the divorce rate is so high.
I believe a more Biblical model is courtship to marriage. Where every potential relationship is looked at through the lense of whether or not this is the person God has for me to spend the rest of my life with. A relationship that is more than just a physical attraction(which ofcourse will be there), but is based on not just eros or physical love(where we get the word erotic), but is a Selfless love that originates with God(Agape)
With eros love, there is no respect for the other person. For guys especially who tend to look at young women as only a means for physical gratification.
Agape Love is esteeming and respecting the other person as greater than yourself. It is the fruit of the Holy Spirit found in Galatians 5:22.
Eros is a love that takes
Agape is a love that gives
For God so loved (agape) the world that he Gave His only Begotten Son........
Richardt the emotions you have expressed and the struggles you have dealt with are prime examples of EROS love. If you were to get involved in a relationship right now we both know the physical temptation would be high, like pouring gasoline on a fire. It is time to get the fire under control of the Lord.
You are still a young man and as many other posts have suggested, your aim right now ought to be on becoming a more Godly young man. falling in love with the lord and letting him fill the void and need in your life.
Preparing yourself to be a Godly man and Husband for the women God has set aside for you from before the foundation of the world
I know from the worlds point of view this is an odd perspective, but I also believe that it is a Godly one. No where in the Bible do you see multiple dating partners, but a man for a women for a lifetime.
Remember that in Genesis, God caused a deep sleep to fall over Adam, and then He brought him his wife.(from his rib). He didn't give Adam a bow and arrow and say go hunt her down. It isn't easy, but God's highest is for you to wait for him to bring you a wife in his perfect timing.
Right now you are far to young to be considering marriage so courtship will have to wait for a more appropriate time.
One thing you can do for your future wife right now, along with seeking to grow in the Lord, is to pray for her. God knows who she is right now. Pray that God's hand would be upon her, that she too would be focused on him right now, becoming the Godly wife you will need one day.
For me this is not just theory. I have four teenagers (1 girl and 3 boys) and we practice this in our home. In todays society it is always easy to do so, but in the end it wiil be worth it.
My Mom and I began to pray for my wife when I was a little boy. And many years later when we finally met, I can't even begin to tell you the incredible Love and respect God gave me for my wife when I realized she was the one we had been praying for for all those years.
When my mom meet her she told her she was so blessed to have finally the girl she had been praying for. It was an incredible blessing to my wife to find out that our family had been praying for her from before we even knew her.
Richardt God has an awesome girl out there for you, just not yet. Seek him, pray for her, and God will do great and awesome things.
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