I went through just about everything that you could think of. I was constantly on shut down, I shut myself from the world, sat in my room listening to anything heavy and loud, sometimes scribbling just to pass time. I used to hate church and hate everyone around me. I'd get angry real easily. I was failing classes because of lack of doing my work, or due to the fact that the Seroquel had kicked in and I was too dozed to do it. I've overdosed, and tried to kill myself. I was seriously depressed for a long period of time. I had been agnostic for about 2 years, and heading toward atheism. I had a Satanist boyfriend who I had fallen for...plenty of times. He told me that if I really loved him I'd join him soon in his journey. My mom forced me to go to church camp my '05 summer. I went assuming I would come back the same. The first night during our church group time, I cried angrily and told my youth of my story of having trouble believing, preached to them of being hypocrites, and how I saw God as just some imaginary friend. I then began to read the Bible and research. I talked with the sponsors every night for a long time. I realized I wanted to be a Christian because it would make me a better person, but the believing part was too hard for me because I am too analytical. I wanted so much to believe, but it just wouldn't happen for me. Then last night, during the last song of worship, God showed himself to me. I knew that Chistianity was about Faith and God had handed Faith to me that night (7/7/05). He showed himself to me in a way I can't explain to anyone who hasn't had it happen to them personally. I then asked God into my heart. Scott [my Satanist boyfriend] and I broke up after he realized my change. Since then I've been trying to express my Christianity through my words and actions, but old habits can slip through. I'm trying to get myself off of my pill addiction...it's really hard. I love God with all my heart, but sometimes I do things I know are just memories pulling me back into my old ways. Please keep me in your prayers. My name is Lindsey.
Well, if you've got any questions about me, or comments post away here! God bless!
[Tank]
Well, if you've got any questions about me, or comments post away here! God bless!
[Tank]
HAppy happy 
