i just wish

[fadedglory]

i would die already. i can't live anymore. i don't have any energy anymore. i have no one. i cry myself to sleep almost every night. i try to make friends, but they don't care about me. no one does.
i'm so worthless. nothing i do is ever right or good enough. (i'm not a perfectionist) but i always mess something up.

i'm always the last one to be invited somewhere. or i'm just forgotten in general.

my 'best friends' have turned their backs on me. i have a few friends left, but we don't talk/hang out that much.

i can't do this anymore. i just want to be loved and to love. i just want someone to say they care. i don't want to hurt anymore.

i've lost all my goals/ambitions. i don't care about them anymore. i'm just asking for ONE GOOD FRIEND. i have yet to have one in the past 3 years. i try to be a good friend, but no one ever considers me their good friend anymore.

what's wrong with me? why am i so unlovable?

 

[Ariel]

FadedGlory you are not unlovable. You are very much loved.

Very much loved. Many people here at CF care about you. Maybe there are people also like that in your everyday life, people who love you and don't realize how much you are hurting.

More than that, God loves you. You are a gift, a precious jewel to Him. He calls you His own sweet daughter, His precious little one, His lamb, His pearl of great price. When your heart aches, His does too. He knows you are hurting, and His love is there. Reach out to Him, He is there.

I know from my own experience that sometimes it just feels like you are so alone. I went through years like that in high school when nobody--not even my own family--knew how much I was hurting and how lonely I was. Like you I longed for just one friend. Then when I tried to make some friends they would get busy with other things--and sometimes even turn against me when they became part of the "popular" crowd.

But my life changed. I found the Lord, for one thing. And even though I never became part of the "popular" crowd who were busy partying, drinking, doing drugs, etc., I found my own friends, people who also loved God and had the same values I did.

The Bible actually promises this, you can bank on it. If you reverence the Lord, He will bring you friends. Here is one place that says this:

Psalm 119:63, 74 "I am a companion of all who fear You, and those who keep Your precepts...Those who fear You will be glad when they see me, because I have hoped in Your word."

I bolded the words "be glad" because this has actually happened in my life, several times. God is so amazing. He has brought me friends who are just like me, many of them with very different backgrounds, but all with the same heart. You should see me on Sunday hugging my friends, you would never think that one time I was so alone. God is so amazing.

God will do this for you, too. You are going through a tough, tough time in your life, but it will not always be so hard. It will get better. This is a hard time, but it will not last forever. This too will change.

Meanwhile, may I suggest? Look around you for people who are also hurting. They are not hard to find. There are many who also need a friend, who would give anything to just have one friend. Look for them, because they won't tell you they need you, but they do. Those ones are the best friends, because they value a friendship and don't take it lightly.



I am praying for you.

 

[Criada]

(((((((FadedGlory)))))))
I know that feeling!
But, sweetie, as Ariel says, I am sure that there are many who love you...
Depression is a horrible thing, because it affects the way we think, the way we see ourselves, our self esteem, and so much else.
But, it is the depression, not the truth, sister.

The truth is that you are beloved and precious.
God says:

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

the one who made heaven and earth delights in you, He sings for joy over you.


Praying that you will see how much you are loved, and find those who love you around you.
If you ever need an ear, PM me any time.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

I know you got my PM, so I will go from there.

HUG

You are loved, even when you don't think you are, you are loved. You are my friend now, and you have my email. Let's make this work, okay sweetie?

Love you.

-Hallee

 

[Princess Of Yahweh]

i would die already. i can't live anymore. i don't have any energy anymore. i have no one. i cry myself to sleep almost every night. i try to make friends, but they don't care about me. no one does.
i'm so worthless. nothing i do is ever right or good enough. (i'm not a perfectionist) but i always mess something up.

i'm always the last one to be invited somewhere. or i'm just forgotten in general.

my 'best friends' have turned their backs on me. i have a few friends left, but we don't talk/hang out that much.

i can't do this anymore. i just want to be loved and to love. i just want someone to say they care. i don't want to hurt anymore.

I know and understand how you feel and I just want to say that I care and I'm sure there are many others who care and most especially God!!
I don't have any good friends and can't remember when I was asked to a party or someone's house, it may feel like your alone but your not. I am here if you want to ever chat!!
God Bless

 

[GryffinSong]

Depression is such an insideous disease. It messes with our minds, and this is reflected in our feelings, how we act and sound, everything. If you haven't already, PLEASE seek professional help! I know it seems like you just need a friend, and you do SO deserve that! BUT, and this is a big but, our depression gets in our way of being fully present FOR our friends. Friendship is a give and take, and those of us who are depressed have trouble giving. For me, anti-depressants help tremendously. They help me have the energy to reach out. Have I not been invited out? Then I pick up the phone and call a friend and ask them out. Have I not been invited to friend's houses for dinner? Then I invite them over to my place. And when I'm most depressed, I can't seem to bring myself to lift the phone.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so in the dark. As all the others have said, you ARE worthy of love and friendship, and I hope you find the help you need to be fully yourself, and to live a full and happy life.

 

[spacemanspiff02]

From someone who knows exactly how you feel, I wish anything I wrote would help, but know that the sad fact is that no matter what anybody writes it doesn't help the situation.

I've always thought that if I could find someone just like me then maybe we could commit to working on it together but the fact is that it would probably never happen.

I'm new here, but maybe PM me and we can see if there is any hope from a stranger on the internet.

 

[Everlasting33]

Sounds like your inner child is really hurting. She feels like a no good piece of dirt, worthless and unlovable, and desiring a lot of love and approval from those around her. It is exhausting and burdensome to experience all of these emotions/thoughts, isn't? It feels like things won't get better and you don't feel you have the time to wait and see if they do. I know, it is difficult.

I would highly recommend you read the book, "Inner Bonding," by Margaret Paul who talks about the inner child concept more. To heal and to live happily/peacefully, the inner child must be loved by you, the adult.

 

[Criada]

How are you doing, sweetie?
You are so precious, sis... and so many here care about you.
Hang in there, k? God will bring people along for you.

Praying for you.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Hi fadedglory,

I just wanted to pop in and let you know I was thinking about you, and you are loved

Your friend,
Hallee

 

[Carolyn H]

Hope you are feeling better honey!
I'm praying for you!

 

[codya517]

I care

I CARE


I wish I could say this to you face to face! I wish I could establish this in a way that could be fathomed over this simple text! Maybe I'm acting weird because it is past 4am and I can't sleep. Or maybe all my problems seem so insignificant and pointless. Or maybe God wants me to continue to cry, from my eyes and my heart. My heart is moved and I regret pouting about my problems. But this is about you, God and his people love you! Nothing in this world makes sense, because this world rejected God. But God hasn't rejected you! None of his true people will either! We got to fight...We got to fight for our place with Him. Don't listen to the enemy's lies, he is a thief. We have to fight and remind him in Christ we have already won and he is already damned and defeated. Fight even when you think you don't have the strength to fight anymore, He is right there with you, fighting with you. And as for myself I will fight for you too. And I'm sure others here will too. I'm not just saying a bunch of crap to make you temporarily feel better. This is the truth and coming from the heart. Keep fighting! The night doesn't last forever, the sun does rise and chase the darkness away! And soon it will rise for you. Fight for it! It's not over yet! We are victorious in Him by our decision at the cross.

Heavenly father, we cover this one in prayer, we pray for your healing and love to cover her. We pray that you give her the strength to fight through these dark times, to fight to that place of sunrise, to overcome these trials. We pray God to the only one that can save us, we acknowledge our weakness and we come to you God out of faith and compassion, to cast away the enemy from her, as far as the east is from the west. Renew her God, I come to you and intercede God, give her strength, give her people to encourage her and help build her up God, show her your power and authority in this twisted world. Our hearts cry out to you God, we plead for love to rain down on her. In your hands, Lord. In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen!

 

[HonorTheAncestors]

I too know this feeling. Yet no more can I feel it, You are not alone, you are not a single flame in the lone darkness, but a shining star among the cosmos. Pray to god, and find the peace that awaits you, I will pray for you if my prayers are noticed. Feel free to message me anytime. Take care of yourself, you will find a guy that will make you feel complete, and will only want you to hold his heart precious. Take a deep breath, and philosophize about your world. Remember your dreams.

 

[Carolyn H]

(((((HUG))))))...You are in my thoughts and prayers!!!!!!



God bless you and keep you in the palm of His hand!!!!