I have been on this Christian faith journey (half-heartedly) for like 12 years now. I am still struggling with lust. Currently I feel weighed down by my problems, by my sins, by my past and by the hopeless & meaningless life I am living. I believe in Christ, but I am very wounded in my soul and heart and my relationship with Him is very dysfunctional because I have OCD with blasphemous thoughts that started last year. Last year was terrible for me and many spiritual things happened however I've lost the ability to interpret them, I think I have a darkened understanding. Nothing in my life seems to make any sense whatsoever. Only a few years back I was a young man full of ambitions and grand visions, yet seemingly I was punished for this by life, God, or evil spirits? And my own mistakes broke me completely. I also fear because the girl of my dreams will probably never be mine because of the things that happened last year. I am working with two Christians for my full deliverance and healing. One of them, a priest, told me he thinks I was cursed and he prescribed what I need to do to break the curse and be delivered. I've had spiritual visions that would indicate this as well. The doctors told me I have schizophrenia and I have been hospitalized 7 times as well as severe self-harm. I also have bodily problems that do not have any healing or resolution (I've tried literally every doctor), and there is no progress at all in my life, just unemployment and doctor's visits. What I need is a breakthrough in all areas in my life: spiritual healing, bodily healing, mental healing, relationship healing, deliverance, financial breakthrough, etc. But why did God make these things so unattainable for me? It's like it's far out of reach. Sometimes I think my enemies did this to me (those who hate me without reason) because it's like my life is too bad if you compare it to just the average Joe. I have committed very many sexual sins in the past too (but I confessed almost all of them), in my despair and in the meaninglessness of my life I gave myself to different women. I am sick of this life and of all of my problems that I cannot seem to resolve. I have become double-minded too. If the problem really is a malfunctioning brain chemistry, why must I suffer with this for the rest of my life, with no remedy for this condition except for death, even when I pray for healing? Why can't I be healed like Jesus healed the sick people in the Gospels? There is a lot of history here too. I go to the Catholic Church but it's like I don't feel the Holy Spirit there. I am sick of being the person who I am, it's like I should have become another person but something just threw a wrench in my own (or God's) plans for me.
If we truly love God, then we will obey "
Every word" that proceeds out of his mouth (Matthew 4:4). Baptism is one of those words. In order to be baptized, certain events must take place: You must repent, give up a lifestyle where sin has dominion, (ruler ship) over you. Sin according to 1 John 3:4,
Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression (breaking) of the law. You must be taught "The Word", before you can adhere to God's commandments (judgments\statues). These laws are found in the Holy Bible; beginning with Genesis and ending with Revelation. You must believe what the bible says and finally, you must confess that Jesus is Lord. Once this has been accomplished, you are qualified to be baptized in the name of Jesus.
"Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly, that God hath made that same Jesus, whom ye have crucified, both Lord and Christ. Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, men and brethren, what shall we do? Then Peter said unto them, "
repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." (Acts 2:38). “Know ye not, that
so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.” Romans 6:3-4,
Throughout the bible we find that in order to receive eternal salvation we must keep God's commandments to the end. If we make a mistake
we must not give up, but I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14). The last chapter in the whole bible reminds us of this one last time. "
Blessed are they that do his commandments that they may have right to the tree of life." (Revelation 22:14). After this we find only seven more verses in the bible, and none of them does away with God's commandments.
The commandments of God are not hard to keep (I John 5:3) and furthermore, they teach us love in the highest degree. If you love Jesus you will
keep his commandments (St. John 14:15). You will not displease the Lord by: Worshipping other gods, having graven images, taking his name in vain, breaking his Sabbath day (which is Saturday not Sunday), or dishonoring your parents. On the other hand, if you love your neighbor as yourself you will not kill him, commit adultery with his spouse, steal from him, falsely accuse him, or covet anything of his. Stop committing fornication.
This is true love, and if obeyed how much better would our world be? This is why Jesus said that the
two greatest commandments are loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind; and loving your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:35-40). These two commandments are the foundation of the entire law. Many reject the law, but it is
holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good (Romans 7:12) even today.