I just don't get it......

[TheDatelessLoserX2]

Rant ALERT!

I just don't get females anymore. This is probably stuff that you guys hear on a daly basis, but its starting to bug me to no end. "Were too good a friends", "I just don't like you as much as you like me", "I'm still in love with my ex", "your too far ahead of me spiritually", "why are guys such jerks?", "I'm just not the girl you are looking for". I have gotten all of these thrown my way in the last few months, and I am just getting flat out frustrated. I have come to the conclusion that girls don't want nice guys. If that was the case, me and 1000's of guys like me, wouldn't be sitting home on the weekends. Not to mention, when girls complain about how much of a jerk their current bf is it makes me livid. Its not like it is a hard thing to tell if they are going to be a jerk in the first place. Christian girls, I'm sorry to say are the worst. When they accept Christ their expectations jump up to the "I'm looking for a hot/superathlete/muscian/pastor/making 100k/ and worships the ground I walk on/and is a part time commedian, mode. I'm sorry I just need to vent. I am really bitter right now. I do everything the bible demands me to do, and I get nothing but heartbreak, hurt, burned, and bitter. I show them unconditional love, I get walked on. I say I'll take it slow, its too slow. I wait for 2 years to date her, and she breaks my heart by not even giving me a full month. I try to be a spiritual leader like God commands, and I'm "too far ahead" of them spiritually. I listen to their troubles and try to help and support them and "were just too good of friends". I get ready to invest myself in another, and get blindsided with "I'm still not over my ex". I'm tired, of meeting God's requirements, and falling short of theirs. I'm just so frustrated I want to disappear. As of late I don't feel like doing anything but sit at home and wallow in my self pity. Its all so pointless......

 

[anett]

Well..... it is really difficult to tell anything, cause as you said you're very disappointed and bitter. I don't want to defend those girls who are not like you mentioned above (and believe me there are lots...) but I'd rather like to help you.

I simply think that you just haven't met the RIGHT one so far. I mean why would you change your standards just to please a girl? If they don't take you as you are they are not the ONE for you! Believe me, God has prepaird a perfect match for you. If there are girls who say you are far ahead spiritually than they are totally not for you. I think you shouldn't fulfill God's commands to catch a girl, but for your own benefits. I mean I'm happy to follow these and I know they'll bring lots of blessings to my life. And one they one of the blessings will be that I'll find my BOY. Untill I rather fulfill my call from God, hang out with my friend, meet a lot of new people.... so I enjoy life! I think if we are focusing on this issue too much, than we'll be stressed out.

Well.... I'm not sure if it helped any.... than please see my intention, that I wanted to help!!!

God bless!

 

[Talie]

hmmm......sounds to me like you must have approached quite a number of girls to get that many knockbacks in a month! tell me, are you approaching every girl you know - or are you waiting to find the one God would have you be with?



and as for "God has prepaird a perfect match for you" - i hate it when people say that and it would make me angry every time someone said that to me - back then i was desperate not to be alone and would have accepted anybody who would have me - thankfully, nobody would have me or I might be in a huge mess now.

these days i've grown acustomed to the fact that I'm not likely to get married - and that not everybody DOES get married - and those people that say " God has someone out there for you" - well, you're simply lying - nowhere in the bible does it indicate anything of the sort

 

[songz777]

It hurts i know, Ive never even had a date, let alone friends. It sounds to that the kinda a girls you are meeting are not very mature if their attitude is "I'm looking for a hot/superathlete/muscian/pastor/making 100k/ and worships the ground I walk on/and is a part time commedian, mode. A woman who is mature emotionally and spiritually isnt so easy to find in late teens and some times even later. A person who has had hurt in their like will be more apprecative. Allow God to lead you to that ONE and try as I do in bitter pain to focus upon God. If I can cope at 42 and been hurting 18 yrs how much more will you at 21? Your hope is so much greater mine. Also God is allowing all this pain to make you a BETTER man not a BITTER man. A better husband and a better christian.

 

[anett]

Well Talie, I think your post is more like a reflect on mine... And yes I do think that God does have a special mate for eveyone who wants it! But I also think there are people who has the gift of celebicity, but they should be absolutely confident in their situations. If they are not, than let's call them singles, who haven't found their mate yet. Also I think there are people who really desire a mate, though they've made mistakes, so they couldn't find their spouse, and now they think God doesn't want them to marry. And this is silly, they just should get back on the right track and ask God for the prepaired one.

 

[songz777]

Well Talie, I think your post is more like a reflect on mine... And yes I do think that God does have a special mate for eveyone who wants it! But I also think there are people who has the gift of celebicity, but they should be absolutely confident in their situations. If they are not, than let's call them singles, who haven't found their mate yet. Also I think there are people who really desire a mate, though they've made mistakes, so they couldn't find their spouse, and now they think God doesn't want them to marry. And this is silly, they just should get back on the right track and ask God for the prepaired one.

VERY Good answer ANETT

 

[Talie]

like i said, biblically , there is no indication it is in God's plan for everyone to marry and it bugs me that soiciety forces this upon us and indicates anyone who doesn't get married must have something wrong with them.

realistically, some people are just not mariage material - not through choice, but through circumstances

 

[Talie]

you could say the same thing about having children - not everybody will - not because they choose not to, but because circumstances don't allow it

 

[anett]

like i said, biblically , there is no indication it is in God's plan for everyone to marry and it bugs me that soiciety forces this upon us and indicates anyone who doesn't get married must have something wrong with them.

I think it is God's plan to have a family... the society maybee just feels sorry for those who aren't married cause they know marriege can be a real blessing. So maybee it is not an offensife force..

[/QUOTE]realistically, some people are just not mariage material - not through choice, but through circumstances[/QUOTE]

Circumstences? I think we make choises. We or God can change circumstences. It cannot be an obstacle. Of course there are more difficult cases but there is always hope. So the main question is: do I desire to get married and have family? If so, everything should work, since God wants to make us happy!

 

[Talie]

yes, but God, in his infinate wisdom (and I don't mean that sarcastically) knows better than we do - who are WE to decide what will make us happy when only GOd knows what's in our path?

 

[anett]

I agree partly. There was a period in my life when I thougth I'll never get married, and I really prayed about it I was checking my thoughts and emotions and stuff and then I realized how much I wanna have a loving husband and kids around me. For me it is no metter how many ministries I do (I'm involved in quite a lot) what career will I make, how many good friends and present family I have I need to have an own family!!! And this is yet to come. But I know it will happen! I think like timing is more in God's hands. He knows better than we do.

 

[Wakeup2god]

If that was the case, me and 1000's of guys like me, wouldn't be sitting home on the weekends.

Here's an idea and I say this in brotherley love. Why don't you and the other guys like you go out and get a life at the weekends instead of sitting at home! I have an idea that some girls like to see men just doing men things and enjoying themselves rather than seeing them chasing other girls and bending over backwards trying to get their attention.

Man you're only 21. Take it from me women aren't the 'be all and end all'. Thay're great, don't get me wrong but you should be finding out who you really are and enjoying your life. There's plenty of time for women later on. In the mean time if you meet someone and you both hit it off that'll be a bonus to your life.

Try not to look for someone to make up your life. That someone should be an addition to your life.

Be blessed and live life to the full.

 

[anett]

Very well said wakeup2god!

 

[GreatistheLord]

I've been there, and I feel for you. The only advice I can give you is BE YOURSELF.
Don't worry about girls who give you "reasons" why they cant date you, and dont take
it to heart if you feel like you need to be someone else. You want someone who is looking for someone like you, and you cant fake that.

Relax, have fun and be yourself.

 

[TheDatelessLoserX2]

hmmm......sounds to me like you must have approached quite a number of girls to get that many knockbacks in a month! tell me, are you approaching every girl you know - or are you waiting to find the one God would have you be with?

It hasn't been over a month, it has been over the last 5 or so. One I had waited a long time to date(over 2 years), and wasn't given more than 3 weeks of a chance. Another that I wouldn't have minded gave me the "were to good of friends bit" in passing. I recently met a Christian girl online over the last week, and when it looks like things were going to be moving along, the "I'm not over my ex/your to far ahead of me spiritually" was thrown out. I'm not chasing every girl I know, I don't know that many to begin with. I really don't have a way of meeting new ones either. Its not like I can go to a bar to pick them up or anything..... Its not the impatience, its the fact that I'm sitting here at 21 and my longest relationship is 3 1/2 weeks. As for the 1000's of niceguys, I know they are out there, but most of my friends usually have the girls COMING TO THEM, and they are mostly backslidden and don't know how to treat a girl right to begin with. It just seems like everything is so backwards.

 

[Talie]

i'm sitting here at 32 and the longest relationship i've had is.....oh, wait.....i havent had one!

it's really not the end of the world, though I'm sure it feels that way at the moment, i remember all too well being your age - it does get easier in time - assuming you have to wait that long, God may have other things in mind - either way, things will work out fine, the pain along the road just works towards making us better people

 

[Talie]

oops, forgot i had a birthday a couple of months ago - i'm 33!

 

[goat37]

I don't know why everyone keeps saying that "God has a mate picked out for everyone"... Where is it written that God will pick whom we are supposed to be with?

Relationships are hard, finding good quality companions is hard... that's why when you find one, it's so rewarding. If you didn't go through all the bad before you get to the good, you wouldn't appreciate what you wind up having in the end.

I believe that God would bless a marriage to whomever YOU decide to be with? Why would God sit and pick out whom we are going to be with? God gave us a brain, and our own two feet for a reason... so we can figure out on our own what we like and whom we will love, and so we can go out and find these people. I personally wouldn't want God selecting for me anyway... All I'd ask of him is that he bless my relationship and marriage to whomever I choose to love.

I wish for once I'd see people using God as more of a mentor and guide, and less like a crutch. Let God be the light along your path, but do the walking yourself... God gave us our own lives so we could live them, not so he could live them for us.

 

[Talie]

I personally wouldn't want God selecting for me anyway

are you saying you don't trust God?? or that you know better than Him??

 

[goat37]

are you saying you don't trust God??[/font]

What I am saying is that I am perfectly capable of doing it on my own, and would prefer to do it on my own... and just ask God to bless it. I am not selfish enough to ask God to do the things that can be done using my own heart and mind, and hard work... (all of which are tools that he gave to me so i wouldn't have to ask him to do EVERYTHING for me)