I have no control over what I think about

[ILikePeanutbutter]

My mind is constantly flooded with sexual thoughts. I cant control it. I try to think about something else, and it dosnt work. I try to ignore my thoughts and pretend they dont exist, and it dosnt work. I pray constantly for help... and I still get no relief.

It isnt like this all the time, of course... Its only when Im not activly doing something... Like sitting in my dorm. But as I try to stop masturbating, these thoughts become more prevailent. Its really bad right now, and it caused me to trip again... I just cant get back on my feet. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle when I cant control what I think about.

As for what Im thinking about... well, you know. Its stuff most people would find disgusting. Even I find it disgusting, sometimes.That makes me even more depressed over the whole subject.


For about a week and a half right after I first confessed of my sexual sin I expreienced a freedom like no other where I had almost no sexual thoughts or temptations. Now I feel like I have regressed to where I was a year ago, back when I was freely living my life in sin....



I feel like such a hypocrite because God has given me wisdom and compassion to help others yet I cant help myself. Why does He send me out to help others when I cant even put up a good face for myself? I tell them what to do yet I follow my own advice and fail. Perhaps this shows a weakness on my part. I dont know. Sometimes I feel like I have done everything possible. I can force myself to not touch if I want to, but whats the point if I cant change the source of my corruption?

 

[Akathist]

I can force myself to not touch if I want to, but whats the point if I cant change the source of my corruption?

The point is that you are controlling something. You can't always control your thoughts but if you can control your actions that is a start. As you work on that one componant then in time you can gain more and more control over the thoughts.

But to say: "I can't stop all of it, so I won't stop part of it" is illogical. It could also be an excuse you give yourself to not fight the good fight.

Yes, you have to fight. It is a daily battle for many people. We take to use force sometimes to conquer our demons! But the fight is worth it.

Confession is good and I am glad it helped you before. Do it again! I go to confession about once a month and I have to repeat things at confession. I hate that I have to repeat myself. I wish that I had more self control and could show more Christian virtue all the time, but I know that it takes time and failures mixed with successes to accomplish the work before me.

Take it a step at a time: no materbation. Then work on stopping the worst of the thoughts you have. When you have those thoughts, quote a bible verse, pray outloud if possible! Also have a spiritual advisor that you meet with in real life to talk about this and an accountability partner that you can call if needed.

 

[ILikePeanutbutter]

sorry for the confusion.... thats how I do feel sometimes, but thats not how I choose to act. I know more than to seriously consider such logic.

Its just that sometimes I get frusterated...

 

[Johnnz]

Be clear about what you are thinking about. You will have many sexual thoughts and feelings that are mainly biological in origin. They are OK.

Sexual habits give our sexuality a big boost. that makes them much harder to change later.

You will need to sort out what is just human sexual sexuality, and what goes beyond that, so you know the difference. Your prayers will never result in God making you asexual until marriage. Sorry about that, but it's true.

John
NZ

 

[Nachtjager]

Welcome to the world of being nineteen Mr. Butter! I'm not trying to be sarcastic, believe me, but you're perfectly normal. There isn't a normal teenage male out there who isn't overwhelmed with the need or desire to get a little relief. As guys grow older, sometimes they forget about that time, and I don't think girls will ever understand it. All Christian guys I know of are bothered with guilt and are convicted to varying degrees because of masturbation, but the bottom line is, almost all of them still do it, then feel guilty and ask for forgiveness over and over again. This is seriously common. For whatever reason, God saw fit to make teenage boys a raging inferno of testosterone, which makes us rather primative creatures for quite some time. Proving that he has a sense of humor, women typically do not experience anything near this all-consuming, sexually, until their thirties. Some women never experience it, but I've not found any guys who didn't have an almost impossible task of keeping their mind off sex between the ages of fifteen and twenty-one (those seem to be the peak years). All I can say is that we serve a merciful God and you are far from alone. All of us attempted to hold out as long as possible at your age, and I'd dare say 99% of us failed time and again. Don't let this issue wreck your faith. If this is the only problem you've got, God's hardly going to condemn you or slam you into hell for it. Yes, it is proper to ask forgiveness for lust, as it is surrendering to our fleshly desires. But, having said that, at your age, it's almost impossible not to unless you're already married. I am not condoning the practice, please don't anyone mistake this post as saying it's all okay. All I'm trying to say is it's perfectly normal, all of us sinners out here have done it, and as long as you keep your heart and spirit right with God, do not let this one factor in your life drive a wedge between yourself and our Heavenly Father. Take care and God bless!

 

[livingword26]

It isnt like this all the time, of course... Its only when Im not activly doing something... Like sitting in my dorm. But as I try to stop masturbating, these thoughts become more prevailent. Its really bad right now, and it caused me to trip again... I just cant get back on my feet. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle when I cant control what I think about.

You keep fighting that battle. What you are going through is not perfectly normal, although many of us struggle with it. You are struggling because the Holy Spirit is convicting you and you want to quit. I have been there . The longer you go the more effect it will have on the rest of your life. Get an accountability partner and get in a group for prayer. I went through a course in Setting the Captives free that God used to help me get free of these things. Here is a link. Please check it out. God wants you free and He will help you get there if you keep asking Him to.

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/course/

 

[Nightson]

You should try learning some basic meditation techniques if you want to try and bring your mind under control. I can't promise it'll work, but it could help and it's worth a try.

 

[goldenviolet]

You should try learning some basic meditation techniques if you want to try and bring your mind under control. I can't promise it'll work, but it could help and it's worth a try.

focusing on other activities and prayer is really a self disapline issue for all of us. we all have different temptations though. if you change your activities/ curve your habits, you may provide different surroundings and activities to outlett in a different way.

 

[Child_of_Yahweh]

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could go through life and have no temptations of any sort and no worries at all....hhhhmmm....what on earth would we need the Heavenly Father for? Yahweh KNEW and STILL KNOWS that our carnal nature will sin and have terrible thoughts etc......hence the reason for repenting and forgiveness. No one on this earth is perfect....SIN is inevitable but thanks to Yahweh Elohim He forgives us.

When these thoughts come into your mind....sit down, relax and ask the Father to remove the thoughts and the desire to "fulfill" them from your mind and grant you peace from it. Yahweh bless you in your life and here's hoping that you will have peace.

 

[ChristIsTHEKing]

You will want to get heavy into prayer, humble yourself, pour out your feelings to God, and while you're doing that go and connect with some Christians that are near your age for support. Focus on what you need to be doing for God, and charity would be a good one. Wrap yourself up with serving and studying and being with God's children. One more thing, find an older mentor at your church that could help steer you in the right direction in your walk. God still loves you the same regardless of what you do, so love Him back! God Bless!

 

[janny108]

As someone healed from impurity as of last year, I can relate even though I am female. A big thing to be aware of is the unguarded moments when we are not "doing anything." Maybe it's in bed, when we're alone, etc. Sometimes it means finding something else to do. I have found playing a Christian station low in bed chases away thoughts that can lead to more sexual thoughts.
I was an AVID daydreamer since I was young, but I learned to control my thoughts better by playing tapes, reading the bible more, memorizing scripture, going to church activities more often, pray more, and then,

2. Amputate sources that can make you stumble. For me, a lot of it was music and romance novels. I've read that someone said music is a connection to the soul, and that works with godly music as well as ungodly music.

Computer--I got a filter so I can't view anything that could lead me to porn.

I got rid of New Age music because of where my thoughts would go..

What is tripping you? You have to decide and be aware when you find yourself thinking sexual thoughts.

And accountability, let some more experienced Christians, a support group, a pastor, counselor, know of your struggle and enlist their support.

Often the devil wants us to think we're the only people we know that are wrestling with this.

SCF(Setting captives free) has an excellent online course called Way of Purity.That's how I got free of this, but as individual as people are, there are many ways to get the help you need.:.)
Jan

 

[Defuret]

Well, fortunatly (or unfortunatly if you see it that way), you're not alone. I've digressed a bit myself actually, mainly through me reading up in passages of the bible that deal with sexual sin and finding insane loopholes.

D'oh. Though I suppose some change is better than no change. Glad to see you're still going at it despite difficulty!

-Defurét

 

[OfficeBoss]

If the problem is what you think then it only brings harm to you if you make it a problem for yourself. If you keep on denying thought you turn it into poison.

 

[bannaboat101]

My mind is constantly flooded with sexual thoughts. I cant control it. I try to think about something else, and it dosnt work. I try to ignore my thoughts and pretend they dont exist, and it dosnt work. I pray constantly for help... and I still get no relief.

It isnt like this all the time, of course... Its only when Im not activly doing something... Like sitting in my dorm. But as I try to stop masturbating, these thoughts become more prevailent. Its really bad right now, and it caused me to trip again... I just cant get back on my feet. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle when I cant control what I think about.

As for what Im thinking about... well, you know. Its stuff most people would find disgusting. Even I find it disgusting, sometimes.That makes me even more depressed over the whole subject.


For about a week and a half right after I first confessed of my sexual sin I expreienced a freedom like no other where I had almost no sexual thoughts or temptations. Now I feel like I have regressed to where I was a year ago, back when I was freely living my life in sin....



I feel like such a hypocrite because God has given me wisdom and compassion to help others yet I cant help myself. Why does He send me out to help others when I cant even put up a good face for myself? I tell them what to do yet I follow my own advice and fail. Perhaps this shows a weakness on my part. I dont know. Sometimes I feel like I have done everything possible. I can force myself to not touch if I want to, but whats the point if I cant change the source of my corruption?

Temptation is going to happen. It happens to me everyday since I've been freed from homosexuality but you can get freed to. Let me suggest this. If I were you go to setting captives free.com and take this course (follow Link) http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/course/
this course will set you free from sexual impurity. I on the other hand took the Door Of hope but I never finished becuase I found a way to stay away from homosexuality instead of the course and I feel better. Setting Captives Free is a very great and encouraging class/course. Bro don't let yourselfe fall so easily. When you are sitting in your Dorm and getting bord don't reach down your pants reach towards your bible and get that before it gets stronger. The longer you let it get stronger the more you are going to want to do it and trust me the more you do it the more addicting it is. Your Bible is the only thang that will stop you. I haven't done anything dealing with homosexuality for two months and I'm feeling great. I got a true love in my life and it is my G/F. Bro, I truly got you in my prayers and I will be thinking about you everyday. If you want to talk to me about the course when you do it I want you to email me about your day. Better yet I would like to be your accountability partner. God will help you my friend just like he has for me. Don't give up faith that is the number one thing that you need.
Love Ya In Christ Bro
Mike

 

[inHisgripkim]

Thought I would put my female two cents in. You say that the thoughts come to you when you are not doing anything. . . . when you are alone in your room. My question to you and there are several. Are you bored when you have those thoughts? Are you under any unusual stress? I ask that for a reason. First let me say that the male hormone testosterone gives you your libido and masturbation is a normal human function. However, when masturbation and sexual thoughts are used to control a bad feeling or something that you cannot sit with, it can become an addiction. I don't mean to scare you because that may not be your problem at all. Addictions are started because people use things to control bad feelings. Feeling bad so we do something that makes us feel good. Eventually, the tool or behavior we are using to feel good becomes an addicition because we depend on that tool to make us feel good all the time. Eventually, we can't feel good unless we resort to that behavior. That's the danger zone.

Be aware of what you are feeling and thinking when you have those sexual thoughts. Be aware of what is going on in your life. If there is something that is troubling you or you are using masturbation to distract you from the troubles or to distract you from boredom, then there may be some cause for concern.

Only you know what is going on with you. Again, you have to remember that masturbation is a part of human sexuality. You will have to determine for yourself whether your behavior is excessive and used for coping or if it is part of the male libido.

I'm sure you have other interests and things that you enjoy doing to give you pleasure. Have a good book nearby, exercise, listen to good music, watch a good comedy etc. Resort to these if you really want to fight urges for the sake of fighting the urge. It is good practice to fight the urge. We learn self control that way.

God be with you,
InHisgripkim

 

[Ave Maria]

I find this prayer to be very helpful for a variety of things. It might be helpful for a sexual addiction as well:

http://www.stmichael.pair.com/prayers.htm#warfare

 

[Japher]

I have no sexual thoughts...I`m not dwelling in sex...I`m swelling in dark terrible thoughts....kind of like....slipknot...hardcore rap...and the slim shady LP...

 

[MooTipping]

Sexual thoughts are normal -- I get them. Masturbation is normal, but whatever your view on it (sinful/not sinful) is up to you -- follow what you believe about it. If you do not want to look at porn, etc., follow some suggestions up there, like don't go to sites that may lead to porn.

Suppressing sexual thoughts, however, may be harmful. Just let them pass through your head, and if you don't want to do anything about it, then don't do anything about it. thoughts will always be there.

G'luck

 

[george]

You're not alone. I have my struggles to. I've struggle since I was a teen. and like some have said...some of it is natural, kinda like, when you get an appetite for food, in the same way, we have sexual appetites. it's just something that's going to happen.

But when we entertain those thoughts and act them out. they become sin, I know for me. the more I think, the more I lose control. I just try to quote scripture or fill my mine with his word or listen to some music, or just find something to do, to keep me focous on what i'm doing.

the more you try to push those thoughts away. the more intense the thoughts get. it is hard and flustrating.but we just can't give in. riding my bike helps alot. don't get down on yourself for being human. don't look for the easy way out by giving up. God is faithful and loves you and can symapathyize with your suffering.it's his will for you and everyone else who has these struggles to take captive and overcome. read phil 4:6-9. I have it posted on my fridge.

 

[Mother Vashti]

My mind is constantly flooded with sexual thoughts. I cant control it. I try to think about something else, and it dosnt work. I try to ignore my thoughts and pretend they dont exist, and it dosnt work. I pray constantly for help... and I still get no relief.
But as I try to stop masturbating, these thoughts become more prevailent. Its really bad right now, and it caused me to trip again... I just cant get back on my feet. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle when I cant control what I think about.

As for what Im thinking about... well, you know. Its stuff most people would find disgusting. Even I find it disgusting, sometimes.That makes me even more depressed over the whole subject.

For about a week and a half right after I first confessed of my sexual sin I expreienced a freedom like no other where I had almost no sexual thoughts or temptations. Now I feel like I have regressed to where I was a year ago, back when I was freely living my life in sin....

I feel like such a hypocrite because God has given me wisdom and compassion to help others yet I cant help myself. Why does He send me out to help others when I cant even put up a good face for myself?

The urge to have sex comes to us all in the natural course of our development. It's a part of you that God created, and just like your wisdom and compassion, it is every bit legitimate and functioning properly. You've simply reached sexual maturity and it's time for you to start thinking about arranging your life to accomodate your sexuality.