I have a question please

[Godsgirl481]

I have a question.....well I know that it is really wrong to do but I don't know why i do it. No one knows about this...I am too ashamed to tell anyone...not even a counselor. Well...a lot of people have a problem with masturbating....mostly guys but I am the odd one since I am not a guy. Anyways...I picked up a habit of reading sex stories...and found a site with a bunch of incest stories. I don't think a man should have sex with his daughter...but reading about it gets me going like nothing else. I try to stop cause sometimes it makes me feel sick....but after a few days...i have to have it again. I don't understand

 

[VivDaGurl]

Bams418,

You are not alone in this and yes, you are right, it's a very common thing for guys to touch but, we, girls do at times. This is absolutely not right and you said that you have the habit of reading sex stories. Just, STOP doing that...instead, pick up a Bible and start reading.

You got to be firm with your willpower that you want to quit from all this. Read the Word of the Lord and confess all these to the Lord. Ask God to forgive you and pray more often. Let not your mind to go astray with fantasies but put your concentration on the Lord.

 

[Buzz Dixon]

I think what you feel is more common than many people realize. I'm no psychologist, but I would guess that your interest in such stories is caused by a confusion of what a father's role should be in your life and what a husband's role should be. Somehow the two have melded together and feelings that would be more appropriate directed towards a husband-figure are being directed towards a father-figure.

Obviously, ask God for help in dealing with this. Prayer will help; at least you will be laying your feelings before Him and will know He cares for you.

Recognize it is a confusion and laugh it off. I mean that. Next time you have those feelings, just tell yourself, "That's not what I really want. I want a good relationship with a man who's my age." This is not a pat answer but a strategem to keep from dwelling on those kinds of thoughts.

It's not a sin to have such thoughts, it's a sin to harbor them. Whenever they pop up just try to sweep them from your head.

 

[mpshiel]

Well, first off - broad surveys have shown that about 93% of guys touch (and 93% who think the other 7% are lying) and about 60-70% of women have masturbated at some point, if not more frequently. Indeed a survey of 22-35 year old single women here in the UK found that just over 50% owned a vibrator (I think "Sex in the City" has kinda pushed this one forward over here).

Second - sexual fantasies. Okay some people think sexual fantasies are normal and some think that you should never think of anything sexual at all until you get married and then you should never do any role play or fantasy senerios just think about each other and then go at it (and a lot of people are somewhere in between). Myself, I think if a person doesn't have some sort of fantasy ("mmmmmm.....firemen!") then there might be some sexual repression going on.

The difficulty with fantasies is that they have nothing to do with what we want in real life - some of the number one fastasies for women involve some sort of rape or domination - yet none of these women want to be raped. What is even wierd/creepy is that even women who HAVE been raped or have had incest, have a hard time being touched by someone and the other problems which come with abuse also have fantasies involving rape or incest. Personally, I think that if it is the incest that bothers you, you might try doing what psychologists called linked transferance. Where for instance you trying to fantasize about "father figures" or older men and younger women along with the incest fantasies in order to isolate what exactly is making you arosed and transfer that to something more personally acceptable (though I will note that I been with more than one couple where the wife called the husband, "my big daddy" or some equivilant - I try to keep from raising eyebrows as it is thier relationship after all).

But another issue has come up which is about addiction. From what you describe, one of the problems is that you are not in charge of your sexual fantasies and masturbation but rather that it is in charge of you. I personally think that masturbation, particularly female masturbation is not covered in the bible (though lust is, I am not sure how to interpret lust for an imaginary object) and by accepting that sometimes it is a nice thing to do, you avoid developing emotional and sexual hang-ups later. However, if one's life revolves around it, then that is a problem. But like any addiction can be dealt with. Have you talked to a counselor at all? You don't have to say what your fantasies are about but you could talk about how you are compelled to come back to them again and again even when you don't want to.

Though many will say go to a Christian counsellor, I don't see this as a particularly Christian issue, and would advise going to a female counsellor, perhaps one with sexual or even abuse experience - counsellors don't tell you what to think, they just help you face what you are afraid of looking at until you can decide what you think about it.

 

[startingover]

Sometimes odd things turn people on, so don't feel alone. But, you can admit that this is a problem. Where do you get these stories? If you have books, throw them out. If it's on the internet, block those sites. When you get the urge to touch, pray and don't stop until it goes away. Try calling a friend, or just leave the house. Get out in public. Do what you can to avoid this.

Of course, not all people believe masturbation is wrong, but since you do, I think you need to avoid it. Otherwise, you will feel guilty every time. Best of luck to you and I will say a prayer for you.

 

[al8322]

Well, in the teenage girl foum some of them don't even think masturbation is wrong. At least you recognize that it is a sin. When I was younger and less stable in my Christianity it seemed impossible to have a boyfriend without having sex. But now I realize that those are just temptations of the flesh and as Christians we should be living in the spirit. i'm kind of a new Christian and I find that reading my bible helps me to overcome temptations. I usually pray and say, "I can hear from the Lord and be led by the Holy Spirit." There is death and life in a person's word. Anytime you feel the temptation pray and ask God to remove whatever evil spirit that may be there trying to tempt you. Don't think about your will, but what God's will for you is.

 

[Christian2004]

I am very sorry you are under this opression. Honey, plain and simple: this is the devil. I definately think you should get rid of these books and such, erase those things off of your computer Bookmark list and NEVER EVER go back there again. Don't give the devil pleasure by doing this. The more you invite him to party with you, the worse the situation is going to get! Someone could get hurt. You need to read the bible and pray.

Here are some very powerful prayers my friend told me about that delivered me from the oppression of marijuana....sorry guys...I AM a sinner ha ha:

(1) Cover yourself with the armour of God. You can find this in Ephesians 6:10-
(2) Cover yourself with the blood of Jesus Christ. Say, "I put a covering of the protection of the blood of Jesus christ over me and my family (or this situation) and everything that belongs to us and concerns us today. In Jesus Mighty Name. Amen
(3)I bind all harm, all evil, every devil, and every transfer of evil spirit away from me, my family, my computer, and everything that belongs to me and concerns me today and tonight. In Jesus Might Name. Amen.
(4)I bind all spirits of perversion and incestous away from me, my family, my computer, and everything that belongs to me and concerns me today and tonight. In Jesus Might Name. Amen.
(5) I loose God's Holy Spirit and God's ministering spirits (which are the angels) on earth to deliver me, my family, my computer, and everything that belongs to me and concerns me to deliver me and us from all harm, all evil, every devil, and every transfer of evil spirit. In Jesus Mighty Name Amen.

Even if you don't believe this....you should try it....because I would (right now) bet my life and my family and everything I own that if you do this, you will be brought out of this oppression and you will overcome what the devil wants to overcome you with.

I love you and pray to God tonight that you will take this advice and make a personal copy of these prayers and say them daily. In Jesus Name. Amen.
God Bless you.

Oh, and then THANK JESUS!!!!!! thank you Jesus, Praise you Jesus for being the wonderful Father you are - thank you for giving us authority over the evil one. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Remember this kind of thing happens to ALL of God's elect.

 

[4givenme]

I too am very turned on by incest, it wasnt until I learned that I was sexually abused as a small child did it all make sence why. I dont know what to do with it. I have an excellent filter on my computer so I am not tempted, just know I understand.

 

[Johnnz]

Any sexual material is sexually arousing. We just function that way. Having become sexually aroused you wil find it is not easy to stop, especially if it has begun recently.

Don't feel bad about yourself. Quietly sort out what you want to do and begin working at it. But, it will be both a process and a struggle.

John
NZ