I hate what I am.

[Loner]

I have Aspergers syndrome but I am not really that happy about it. Part the thing of having Aspergers syndrome is that I cant ever socilize esaly and I know most people with Aspergers dont really want to socilize but I kinda do. When I say this I mean I want a wife, I want a women in my life but I find my self completly frustraited on how I cant seem to get my self to interact with anyone and when I do I find my self blowing the hole thing becuse I dont know what I should do or say. They tell me that I should be happy that I have Aspergers, that it will bring good things, It hase caused me nothing but trobel. In both Middile and High school I was force in to specal ed wich I really hatted, in fact I transfer to a differnt High school becuses the other one would not give me my deploma becuse they said that I was not capable of all the hard work. I just Grusted from High school with my deploma in hand. One of the other things that makes me really hate it is that my dream is to become a writer and yet I rember some one saying I could not be one becuse of this. (I sorry about the bad spelling) It has made it vary hard for me to get the ideas down on paper, I have them all in my head but It takes me all my brain power to write just half a page. I really was mad at god for giving me Aspergers becuse so far it seems more like a cures then a blessing, It has kept me from having real realtionship with any wemon, it has gotten people to think of me as the strang one and it is getting in the way of my dreams. SO HOW IS THIS A BLESSING!?

 

[stone]

*I will pray that you find your peace*

 

[DLX]

First of all, God did not 'give' you Aspergers. His plan for you was to live a normal life. You were affected by the sin and thus sickness in this world, like we all are. You do not have aspergers because of your specific sin but by the sin of humanity. The good thing is, God uses all things for good for those that love Him (romans 8:28) and He has a very good plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

Do you have any close friends or family members that you could practice on? Talk to them and just let the conversation flow.

It is still God's heart to see you walking in wellness. He doesn't want any of us to be sick or have disorders. My daughter has Autism and we pray for her complete healing every single day. We pray that God would open her mouth that she would speak (because she is so delayed in language) and her mind that she would understand (because she is so disordered in comprehension).

God may heal you in an instant - I mean it is possible. But for Quinlan (my daughter) we have seen Him heal her in small ways as she goes along. Like you getting your diploma for instance. That is incredible and a total God thing! Keep perservering like that and give God all the glory.

You are welcome to PM me if you want. I would love to hear from you.

Lexi

 

[Idioteque]

I can ASSURE you, the opposite sex/socializing problems extend to ALL of us, brother. Your condition may make those more profound, but understand you're not alone. You were made in God's image, to His liking and for His exact purposes. That alone is a blessing - that you are as God wants you to be. He knows your struggles, and as pained as you are by them, His grief for the plight of His son is infinitely more painful.

Please don't be afraid to send me a private message if you feel like talking. God is with you, as are my most fervent prayers.

Your brother in Christ,
Justin

 

[uniquetadpole]

SO HOW IS THIS A BLESSING!?

Well I am an Aspie too...I am sorry that all you can see is the bad stuff...to me it is a matter of attitude...you can choose to see it however you want...but as long as you see it as something to keep you from being happy and doing well in life then it will...

What I think you need to do is find new and creative ways to solve your challenges. The social skills...yep me too...I get lost with more than one person in the room...heck I get lost in a room by myself. But as to the not wanting to be social...I disagree with your statement...I see that most Aspie's want to be social...but they have failed so much they gave up and say they don't want to anymore...and the attitude of you won't fail if you don't try come into play. I want to be social...I don't want it all at one time...too overwhelming..and I want my breaks too. But a human relationship that is deep and meaningful...YEAH I WANT IT!!!! I want a companion that wants to spend the reat of their life with me...but God has said ...your not ready just yet...cuz I got to learn to keep my focus on him more (yeah right me focus...hahahaha)...anyway...I truely believe that God will provide whatever it is I need...not necessarily how I think it should be or how I want it...but whatever his does provide for my life will be better than I have ever imagined...so hang in there...

I might also add...that you might want to find someone to help you...whether it be a therapist....a coach (I mean the kind that coaches you in life skills)...an Occupational Therapist...someone who can help you learn some of the social skills you are missing...someone who can teach you things in a manner that you learn best...someone who specializes in Autistic Spectrum Disorders...cuz we do tend to throw out curve balls to NT's (Neurotypicals)...I have seen places that offer social skills classes...so help is out there and you qualify for the help...(God does provide if we open our eyes)...

And if you need help finding specific resources...you can PM me and I will see what I can do to help out...

hugs,
Tad

 

[ellieberrie]

WOW, I am really upset right now, this is the first time on any of these forums that I have actually been this upset by something someone has said!( not by the poster of this thread, but by one of the comments made to him). I believe that everyone is intitled to thier own opinion, but WOW! The bible say`s everything happens for a reason! Yes and that includes Autism, Aspergers,ADD, and all those other disorders! God made us all the way we are by his choice! We have no choice over how we are born! God gives us all our own trials and roads to over come in this life. To say that GOD does not do this, would be like saying that GOD really does not have any control over anything!~ A reason for everything under the sun~I`m really sorry if I offend anyone, I just believe that GOD is with me always and "EVIL" can not touch those of GOD, but we can be tested on our faith and this is what I believe GOD is doing here, So just keep praying to GOD and keep your faith strong..HE`LL send you an anwser.~God bless you

 

[DLX]

I am sorry to have upset you. I am going on what I have been taught in church and in Bible College, also what I have researched on my own. From what I can see, the Bible does not say anywhere that 'evil' or bad things won't touch us in this world. But it does say that God works everything for good for those that love Him and that He will uphold us and comfort us through times of trial.

Lexi

 

[ellieberrie]

Hi lexi, I`m really sorry if I sounded rude this morning or like i was not respecting your beliefs! It`s just that I believe that everything happens for a reason and GOD does not make mistakes! (I think my angry responce to your comment stems from, sometime after my daughter died some really good friends of mine told me that thier churches beliefs where that baby`s die becouse of the sins of the parents, and I know thats not exac. what you were saying , but it hit a nerve), and like I said earlier, I believe we all go through our own trials. So again I wanted to apologize to you for making an opinion on your beliefs, please forgive.~God bless

 

[tomt47]

Focus not on yourself but on others that can use what you have to offer. I'm sure you have blessings you can share with other people who are in similar circumstances to your own. As you have been ministered to minister to others. Don't get hung up on getting married and looking at every women as a potential mate. Just treat them like human beings first and let God take care of the rest.

 

[DLX]

Wow, I am SO sorry to hear about your daughter. People can be so ignorant. I did touch on that in my first post and I hope it came across the right way - we are not affected by our sin like that. Of course we are affected by the consequesnces of our own sin in ways like a smoker would get lung cancer. But if you read Job, it clearly touches on this question and sets that kind of lie straight. God does not punish us because of our sin.

God never intended for any of us to die. It was not His will that your daughter would die and it certainly was not her time to go. God wanted her to have a full and abundant life. But He is such a good God that He will restore to her what was stolen from her and to you what was taken from you. I know it hurts so much. I can't even begin to imagine. My prayers are with you, for sure.

your sister,
Lexi

 

[vespasia]

Tony Atwood and Liane Holliday Willey http://www.aspie.com/pages/1/index.htm have both written some ideas on how to have a relationship. The first thing is be yourself. Your not like the majority your you. You need to feel able to relate to who you are instead of trying to pull yourself apart to remove the ASD before you can begin to relate outwards with others.
It is a bit like being a person from another country and culture being places in an alien one and expected to 'know' what everyone else does and you do not.

I think most ASD's have hated school.
Thankfully there are some good colleges. Just because you did not complete your education and study what you liked then does not mean you cannot know. Some colleges also offer long distance learning with one to one support from a tutor. If your serious about writing why not ask at a library what courses can be found where you live.

Whilst your angry(?) with God about having Aspergers you can drive the people away that you want to get to know.
It might be worth tracking down someone to talk to who understands aspergers who you can talk with. Try having friends first. That in itself is hard work and begin to build on that.

 

[exwitchoz]

I'm 44 and have only fairly recently been diagnosed with Asperger's... but I can relate to so much of what you said about school life and socializing... esp. dealing with the opposite sex...

I'd been variously diagnosed as having Bipolar, having Depression, all sorts of things, before someone hit the nail on the head... and have spent several years drugged up to the eyeballs on anti-depressents and anti-psychotics and God alone knows what else... i sure don't...

But now I am drug free and my mind is clearing and although I don't exactly see Asperger's as a blessing I do see that while I have limitations because of it in some areas there are also benefits too...

Yeah i have some pretty messed up habits and don't understand ppl well AT ALL... but a lot of that is learned behaviour and what has been learned can be RE-learned... in the right way now...

I was/am one of those poor sods who even had the Aspie gait... and that is not exactly a winner with the ladies I can tell you for free... but even simple things like that - making a conscious effort to correct my gait, stance and posture - and remembering to do it and instead of beating myself with sticks when i catch myself 'forgeting' and 'schlumping' again but feeling good when i catch myself doing the right thing has given me the confidence to start on working on other behaviour patterns... It's gonna be a long slow road but already those around me have commented that they have seen a difference in me...

And like I said as an Aspie i can do things a lot of 'normal' ppl can't... while I can't manage a lot of social situations at all well I can grasp and readily understand concepts that elude others totally... My concentration is fairly shot as a result of years of un-neccessary 'drug therapy' but it is improving and I'm finding that i can stick with a project MUCH longer than those around me... they give up and come back to it later.... *shrugs* Some may not see it as a good thing but I do - i get 'fixated' and just put on another pot of coffee and finish the project...

You want to be a writer? Great... there is NO reason why an Aspie couldn't be... In fact there's some good reasons why an Aspie would make an EXCELLENT writer...

Aspie's seem to have good, active imaginations, we tend to be good with language (OK we mess up social interaction but we grasp other concepts easily and i for one really enjoy puns, playing with words, jokes of all sorts), we are single-minded when it comes to finishing things (well i certainly am)... These are all good points for a writer...

Whether you choose fiction, non-fiction, journalism, whatever... the lack of 'social skills' us Aspie's seem bogged down with needn't be a barrier as writing is a fairly solitary occupation and it would be a good way to explore social situations thru your writing.... eg By examining WHY ppl react a certain way in certain situations in your writing could be the very thing that helps you to 'fit in' better socially...

I'm a prolific writer... always have been... but never been paid for it... just do it because I enjoy it... I will write reams on a subject that i am passionate about... (Don't let anyone tell you that Aspie's don't have emotions... we have DEEPER emotions that others I believe... we just don't know how to express our own or react to/read others emotions is all - but like I aid that is a 'learned behaviour and as such can be RE-learned)

I hope that this all makes sense...

If you want to go into writing as a job/career man... MORE POWER TO YA!!!

Will certainly be praying that you achieve your goal...