I hate myself.....****TRIGGER****

[CottonBall]

Girl, you've gotta keep fighting here. Sounds like you're not at the best state of health, and what you're doing to your body can kill you.

Maybe you should go somewhere and stay for a while, at least during the holidays. The Holidays can turn even healthy women into extreme dieters. There have got to be people in your life who love you enough to want to see you getting better. Do it for them. They love you, and they want the best of you, the non-foggy, healthy, happy you. Get better for your kids.

 

[blessedmomof5]

Cottonball, tell me how you want to keep fighting besides my kids, thats the only reason i am still here, would never put that on them...but tell me?because there is not an once in me...i am tired......of the hurt, and the weird thing is i do not know what the hurt is......

 

[madison1101]

Cottonball, tell me how you want to keep fighting besides my kids, thats the only reason i am still here, would never put that on them...but tell me?because there is not an once in me...i am tired......of the hurt, and the weird thing is i do not know what the hurt is......

Denice,
Try to eat healthy and not use your eating disorder for a day, and when the hurt comes, pray. Cry out to God to show you what it is that is hurting you. He will reveal it. Maybe not right away, but soon. Keep seeing the therapists and people who are helping you. But, just try to avoid your eating disordered behaviors and work through the hurt. Pray. Read the Psalms of David, who cried out to God at times. Beg God to show you what it is that is hurting you so much. He can't reveal it to you when you use your eating disorder because you are numbing yourself with the behaviors of the eating disorder. I am sharing this because I have learned some stuff in my treatment since I stopped bingeing.

I love you and want you alive to see your kids grow up healthy.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[blessedmomof5]

Trish,

when you said try and eat healty and not use your eating disorder for a day, i went into a state of panic, i do not know how to do that nor can i nor do i want to, ia am scared i will gaine weight....i am scared of food, it is my enemy...ya know i was a normal person at one time in my life, only once but it was for a while......can you find where i went and bring me back home? or maybe i just don;t want to go home i like the obsessiveness, the over exercise, the rush iget in overdive......the thing i do not like is purging, and i did that today, 1st time in a while and now i hurt myself and hate myself......oh and not sleeping so i am always so tired unless at the gym.......trish i truly know you are trying your best but it is me that wants to need the help.... me...and right now there are other alternatives......'love ya for caring Denise