I hate Christmas.

[S.O.J.I.A.]

to the OP:

unless you're the house husband, you need to be telling your wife how things are gonna be on the holidays. if she happens to have her own career then she can spend her own money on all that crap.

me personally, from a religious standpoint, I regard the holidays as just another day. from a political standpoint, I utterly reject the holidays.

 

[pshun2404]

Ask any kid in the US and say "What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear "Christmas"? 9 out of 10 will shout "Presents" or "Santa"....but what about Jesus?

 

[blossom15]

I can relate to the issue in OP - this year I have told several people that I am cutting back on gifts so as not to get into debt, and giving a small gift to charity instead. I sent cards and emails with links to Christmas songs I wanted to share to some people, and I'm still very much learning.

You're not failing as a spouse or parent if you don't go overboard - it can be an opportunity to learn about and teach others about healthy boundaries and healthy values which are from God.

 

[Lord'sWarrior]

I also hate christmas or other festive days. I'm usually shunned and ignored. I'd rather be dead.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

Glaucus,
I am sorry that is happening between you and your wife. I know it can be frustrating during the holidays. I'm not even married and I know that. I believe communication is key, being able to tell someone something without coming across hostile can be difficult. If you can tell your wife how you feel that will help a lot. I don't mean to say the obvious. Also prayer for your wife and children to understand that Christmas is about Christ and family time as well may help them to appreciate what they've gotten for Christmas and the time they spend with you.

As someone who fondly remembers Christmas as a child I can say it may take time for your children to learn to appreciate family time, I know it did for me. I want to commend you for sacrificing your money for the happiness of your children and your wife. Believe me a lot, and I mean A LOT of people go through the struggle during the Holidays to provide presents for their family while not going completely broke and I'm sure those people sympathize with you. I got laid off in November and I wasn't able to give a lot of my family members the presents I would have liked to give. I know it's not easy with little money to survive the Holidays. I hope and pray God blesses you financially and with the knowledge and peace that He is with you in the midst of this difficult time of year for you. I have hope that things will get better for you and for your family regarding this topic. I hope things only get better from this point forward.

 

[Greek2Me]

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

You have my sincere sympathies, Brother. Marriage in general is a meeting of minds, and too frequently there just doesn't seem to be any workable compromise. But God gives grace...

Let me brag on my wife (and hopefully offer you a possible option); We are both longtime Christians and, until recently, she LOVED decorating the house. There was quite a mix of Santas, "Abominable Snowman (from Rudolph animation), Charlie Brown and Linus, you name it! But about three years ago God began to speak to her about the contradictions, and how it took focus off of Christ. So she began selling or giving away most of her collection, and purchasing Nativity Scenes. They are now EVERYWHERE, and the house looks GREAT. (Pic is fireplace mantle, one of MANY locations throughout the house.) Anybody who would stop by can

have no doubts at all what Christmas means around here!

Years back she also began using an "Advent Box", where every day of December one of our two kids open a little door, take out a slip of paper with a verse on it, we read and discuss BRIEFLY (no lectures or sermons) how that verse tells about Christ and his coming... we pray and then they race to get the chocolate! lol It has come to mean a great deal to us all, and we just couldn't have Christmas without it. (Note; my kids are 24 and 14 but they STILL race to get the chocolate... they're not STUPID! lol)

Anyway... Maybe you could encourage this slow shift of focus. I can see why your wife does as she does, but try to win her to your position, rather than "putting your foot down". I'm assuming you'd like to remain with her for some years to come and it just works BETTER that way. Trust me..

Maranatha, and Merry Christmas!

 

[☦Marius☦]

I would just encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 8 about love vs. knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but without love it is worse than useless. Read again how you are going to come across next Christmas, not eating the food, not participating in any Christmas celebrations. Our Lord Himself did not do this. Did He? I agree with you that many things about Christmas are not particularly godly. But are they patently ungodly? Might they be the one time of year people think about and sing about our Lord, even if it's not the very time of year He was born?

Give it some time perhaps, think and reflect. That's my advice. God bless.

Who are you to judge there salvation?

Of course not, don't be silly, nor were you there. Jewish history speaks of wine being 2-3% alcohol in that time and cut with water, new wine was less to not even fermented yet. Scripture states putting new wine in new wine skins. The accounts of Jesus making wine, well it seems reasonable that it was new wine, since it was literally new..

You forget the wedding at Cana, where the guests are given the cheap wine last because they will be too inebriated to taste that it is cheaper- yet Christ still provides more for them. Alcohol is completely fine, and even to use it to merry your spirits. Paul according to some early church fathers recommended it. Its when you can't control yourself and it leads to debauchery that it is a problem.

 

[DamianWarS]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

it sounds like even through the hardach of it all you and your wife somewhat balance each other on this. If it was 2 of her then you might have a lot of debt rather that $43.50 to your name, and if it was 2 of you then you'd have a healthy bank account but perhaps miss out on some things. My family does a 4 gift rule which you may have heard and it sounds a little corny but it does work "something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read" It helps for not getting things out of control and sets expectations on family members... still the "something you want" part can get out of hand... but I have young children so their biggest desires are not all that expensive.

You don't have to follow that but perhaps for next year you could set some boundaries well ahead of time to ground your kids expectations rather than promising a mountain... then you can get a little more if you're able and it's a better surprise. It might be a discussion you'll want to have with your wife right away so you're both on the same page.

 

[Rodan6]

Christmas should be a happy FAMILY time for everyone. Our love of Jesus is not diminished in anyway by Santa Claus putting gifts under the Christmas tree. You are blessed with a wonderful wife that apparently understands the meaning of Christmas better than you do. Listen to her.

 

[Rescued One]

Anyway... Maybe you could encourage this slow shift of focus. I can see why she does as she does, but try to win her to your position, rather than "putting your foot down". I'm assuming you'd like to remain with her for some years to come and it just works BETTER that way. Trust me..

AMEN!

The first year of our marriage, I bought a Nativity set. As time went by, I started to collect a few. When I learned about Advent I added those devotions to our tradition. These are a few of my decorations:

Those who hate Christmas can hate it. I love Christmas.

 

[Rescued One]

Most of all:

 

[Truthfrees]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

you are so right - christmas is about Christ - not commercialism

praying for you and your family to see what you are saying

resisting what they want is probably a losing battle BUT you could maybe REDIRECT

what i mean is find an alternative activity and PROMOTE it

is there something fun that the family would like to do that you could promote as a special tradition?

like maybe movie weekend with popcorn - where you can all hang together

or a day trip in the car somewhere special

or the whole family volunteering at a homeless shelter to serve christmas dinner

or volunteering at the animal shelter for a half day

or volunteering at the foodbank for a few hours or something

if not for this year maybe plan for next year

praying for you to be able to influence your children and wife in a better direction than they are presently going

God Bless you my dear friend

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Not much on the Santa thing either. I told my kids from their very first Christmas that it was a game of make-believe. I never led them to believe it was real. They still got to play along. They simply knew it was pretend. Now they're in their thirties, and they still feel like they can trust Mom to tell them the truth.

I heard an idea that might help with the gift-giving. On their birthdays, when you're shopping for a present, buy their Christmas present at that time too, and keep it in hiding until the time comes. That will help even out the expenses.

If you'd like to teach your children more about the meaning of Christmas, they might help collect gifts for the homeless, or help serve Christmas dinner in a shelter.

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

Goodness...

Of course this thread would devolve into this nonsense on a Protestant dominated forum.

Paganism, fake birth day, Catholics, evil booze, ahhhhhhh!

Presbyterians are quite fond of Christian freedoms, it's about moderation, and not being mastered. If I am not mistaken, the Reformed Churches used to account for a majority of Protestants, in Europe and America.

 

[devin553344]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

You're a mean one... Mister Grinch

 

[now faith]

Personally I see very little about Christmas that is actually biblical, but each has to decide and its between them and God. Did you know that in the bible, for instance, there is mention of only two birthdays being celebrated? And Jesus was not one of them...He wasn't the other one either.
How many wise guys visited Jesus? Only three? Really? In the stable? Nope.....Too much of Christmas is made up and not true....
But as I said. You decide and its between you and God.

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

It's never enough ,no matter how much you earn.
Often it's not the kids ,but the spouse who is compensating for a lack of being a good parent.
I am not saying this is your spouse,but this is why I detest the shopping and all that goes with this holiday.
I was raised in a loving home, some years there were gifts some years not much.
It never bothered me, I understood from a early age about abase and abound.
I have been divorced from the mother of my Children for 8 years now.
This time of year just brings back memories of excess and debt.
My wife and I today do not give each other gifts or cards.
She hates it too,we give the grandkids some gifts but nothing that I wouldn't buy for them any other time of year..
God Bless you ,it's ok not to like the Madison Avenue. Christmas.

 

[mven222]

Today we celebrate the Birthday of the His Majesty King Jesus.

Because He, the Son of God was born in the human flesh. He, being equal to God the Father in the divine origin and power, lived in the human body among people.

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. Matthew 2: 3
When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. Matthew 2:10

The glitter of colorful lights, sounds of Christmas songs and sundries give us impression that everyone is happy because Jesus, a Supreme Being, came to to our planet.

The birth of Jesus Christ created contradictory reactions when an angel came with joyful news to the shepherds and to the Magi. They received the news with joy and offered gifts, expressing their joy but Herod's wrath was so great that he conspired to kill Him. Hatred or joy..the choice is ours.
Many people do not care about the meaning of this Feast and they do not ask themselves who Jesus is and why He came to this world? They do not think of responsibility for non-recognition of who He is. Ignoring Him and ignoring His purposes is rejecting Him and His birthday.

The choice is ours to hate this day or to use it to tell the world about Him and His RETURN to our planet.

 

[Greek2Me]

Just a thought for next year, approaching it from your kids direction...

I have a friend who waits til near Halloween every year and tells their children, "For every present you receive at Christmas, you must select something you have NOW to pass on to another child who has less. You have between now and Thanksgiving to select which ones will go to a local toy drive for needy children (they are EVERYWHERE) early in December. NO broken items or missing parts! (Would YOU want to get a broken toy?)"

If you and your wife can agree early in the year to a certain NUMBER of presents (and hopefully a rough dollar figure), present your proposal to the kids in late fall, including how many presents they should expect to receive to set the expectation level. (Don't worry if the number doesn't wind up "exact", just set a target). So if you plan on giving (say) 8-10 presents to each child, they have a month to find the same number of toys or items to be given away. Hopefully you will be able to convey to your children how blessed they are, both instilling charity towards others and (hopefully) reducing their "innate sense of childish greed". Convey to your wife that, together, you are developing character rather than greed in your kids. Hopefully, she'll appreciate that as well.

Sad that the world has SUCH sway over the celebration of Christ's birthday, but it is a fact, and we must deal with it. Love your wife, be an example to your kids, and seek His guidance and strength in all things at all times. This life is a marathon, not a sprint, and sometimes it's best to try and win small battles along the way rather than fight (and LOSE) a war.

You, and many other spouses, may dread the coming holidays EXACTLY for this reason, but don't loose sight of "...the Reason for the Season"! All glory to Him!

 

[JCFantasy23]

I know what you mean, I always feel a little embarrassment or guilt if I can't buy as much and overextend myself to a certain degree. That's not what Christmas is supposed to be about but it unfortunately happens.

 

[Galilee63]

Jonathon

Pray and ask Jesus and Holy Spirit in God our Heavenly Father's Holy Discernment of which is our Lord Jesus Christ's "Holy Divine Church" in Him and through Him with our Lord Jesus Christ Physically and Spiritually not symbolically only Present at His Altars, in His Blessed Sacrament and in His Holy Tabernacle by praying after Making The Sign of The Cross

3 Our Fathers
3 Hail Marys
3 Glory Bes

Reading Gods Holy Word - in particular asking Jesus and Holy Spirit in Gods Holy Discernment to enlighten your Heart Soul and Mind to His Holy Church receiving Him in His Blessed Holy Sacred Divine Sacraments.

And wait.

For our Lord Jesus Holy Divine Response in Holy Spirit, in God The Most High our Holy Divine Majesty.

"You are Peter and on this Rock I build My Church"

"And the Gates of Hades will not prevail upon it"

"Anything loosed on Earth is loosed in Heaven".

Repentance of sins to be made to Jesus through His Disciples, His Priests through His Holy Blessed Roman Catholic Church - Jesus, Peter, Disciples, Saints/God The Most Highs Saints - Holy now in Heaven - last days - Priests with Gods Head of His Holy Church the Pope over Jesus/Gods/Holy Spirits Priests with Jesus Present at His Altars and in Holy Confession Consecrating, Blessing, Changing the Bread and Wine into His Holy Divine Sacred Flesh and Blood at His Altars -

Jesus has explained these Holy Divine Facts all - every one of them - in accordance with His Holy Word - to thousands of His Saints/Nuns, Priests each Century right back and before to the 9th Century with those Holy writings delivered from Jesus Himself in His Holy Divinity to His Holy Saints with the Catholic Prayers - The Most Holy Rosary from God Himself, Jesus/Gods/Holy Spirits Holy Divine Mercy Chaplet and Novena requested for all mankind to pray and Jesus Holy Five Wound Chaplet and Holy Wound Chaplet among so many of God The Most Highs Holy Divine Prayers delivered to His Catholic Church each Century up until the 1930s with Saint Faustina receiving Jesus Holy Divine Mercy - this is our Lord Jesus Himself - in God and Holy Spirit - showing mankind His Two Holy Rays - one for the LifeBlood of Souls and one for His Blessings Gifts and Graces and Mercy of Souls - God Himself delivered His Holy Divine Prayer for all of the Holy Souls in Purgatory to Saint Gertrude Saint Mechtilde with Saint Brigit receiving other Holy Prayers and Promises of our Lord Jesus on His Holy Wounds - please - people speak off the top of their heads not having ever read any of God The Most High's Holy Words in His Holy Word to all of His Holy Saints in Heaven of whom God Himself stated in His Holy Word that they are Present with Him.

In the 1900s Jesus appeared to Holy Saint Marie Chambon - Sister Chambon - delivering His Holy Wound Chaplet and so many Holy Messages requesting mankind to repent their sins in Holy Confession and receive Me in Holy Communion - "Holy" being "Heavenly Holy in His Holy Divinity in God our Heavenly Divine Majesty". There are Heavenly Holy Divine Mysteries you and myself know nothing about on all things pertaining to our souls and on so many things pertaining to this earth and to our Lords Priests in Him.

Satan causes a great deal of trouble here on earth and works through Christians more than I would say non believers to be honest in his continuous constant attempts to lead people away from our Lord Jesus Christs' Holy Divine Church in our Lord Holy Spirit - and in our Most Holy Blessed Virgin Mother Mary - in God The Most High - because as Jesus has explained to His Holy Saints for Centuries while on earth - satan does not want people repenting sins to Him and does not want people receiving our Lord Jesus in Unity with Him in "Holy" Communion because our Lord Jesus cleanses souls through His Holy Blessed Sacraments physically and Spiritually standing behind His Priests in the Confessionals just as Jesus gave Saint Padre Pio His Stigmata and requested him to hear Holy Confessions daily with hundreds of people in Rome Italy and elsewhere queued up to see Holy Saint Padre Pio whom followed Jesus Holy Divine and Christians whom have gone against God and His Holy Word are most sadly being led by satan themselves breaking Gods Holy Commandments by misleading others and discouraging them from receiving our Lord Jesus in His Blessed "Holy Divine Heavenly Sacraments" Jesus Himself Present Physically and Spiritually in His Blessed Holy Sacraments in His ONE true Holy Catholic Church.

Because, satan is claiming souls Jesus has ssaid to His Holy Saints at an alarming rate given that hearts souls failed to attend Holy Confession and repent sins to Him in remorse from hearts open to Him and in trust.

all the best