I hate Christmas.

[Glaucus]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

 

[Anguspure]

It's not all bad though my brother.
I am baptizing my son this afternoon as a celebration of the new birth that the celebration should be about. That my son has been baptised into the kingdom will be one of the very best Christmas presents a dad can give, and receive.

 

[DarkSoul999]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

Sounds like you have only two choices:

1. Get a better job and make more money

2. Put your foot down and be a man. If you can't afford it then you can't afford it

If your wife is going to reject you for not being rich enough...well...that is on her.

 

[Liza B.]

I'm so sorry. I can read your frustration clearly. Obviously, Christmas shouldn't be so frustrating.

It's too late this year, but do you think after the new year, you could sit down with your wife and work out a savings plan for Christmas for the year? A certain amount you could save per week that would get you a certain amount by, say, early December or some such. I think you need to explain how frustrating this has been to you and how it steals all the joy away for you.

God bless.

 

[Basil the Great]

Christmas is a difficult time of the year for many, especially for those who are alone or those who lost loved ones just before or just after Christmas. A close friend of mine lost his mother when he was age 20. She died just a few days after Christmas.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

While I agree with your general position on the "Santa" problem, I can still understand the feelings of your wife, too. I'm guessing that she just wants your kids to feel that they are cared for and have something special to look forward to. Besides, in a certain kind of way, Saint Nick really is alive; it's just that he's in the presence of Christ at the moment, having died so many years ago.

Anyway, I pray that you and your family have a Very Merry Christmas, even if it does deplete your pockets this month. (I know...it can get expensive!)

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[Denadii]

Personally I see very little about Christmas that is actually biblical, but each has to decide and its between them and God. Did you know that in the bible, for instance, there is mention of only two birthdays being celebrated? And Jesus was not one of them...He wasn't the other one either.
How many wise guys visited Jesus? Only three? Really? In the stable? Nope.....Too much of Christmas is made up and not true....
But as I said. You decide and its between you and God.

 

[Acts2:38]

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

Hello,

I sympathize with your troubles here. My prayers will go out for you and your family.

I have some suggestions/advice and just know that I do not force them on you or expect you to implement them. Just some things that worked out for me.

As far as money goes:
I am the one that pays the bills, however, I involve my wife with all matters of finance. We will either agree to do something together and get it done or if one disagrees then it will not happen. My wife too, likes to get a little out of hand giving our 2 young sons whatever, but I will tell her what the situation is for our bank account and she will understand (vise versa too). It helps me though, that she dislikes placing things on credit (dislikes credit card use). It did take a lot of financial discipline in the 6 years we've been married on both our parts, but the end results are well worth it.

As far as the "santa" thing goes:
I am assuming your kids are much older than mine (oldest is 4 and one thats 1 1/2). So it was easy for my wife and I to switch up the whole santa thing.
We did come to the conclusion, via the scriptures, that this would be considered an outright lie to our children. Not only that, subliminally encouraging lying, making it an acceptable thing.
It is still a bit hard to get our oldest to understand since public school encourages the santa gig, but he will understand fully eventually.

As for the "I must be a bad guy" thing:
In a marriage, it takes two to tango. Both need to come together. I would not have you kick yourself on the account of a lack of understanding of your other half. Try to really sit down with her, show her the financial situation, help try to bring in financial discipline, even explain to the kids. They only thing one would kick themselves over is not even trying.

 

[Bluerose31]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

I am sorry you are struggling with Christmas. I will pray that Jesus comforts you and lets you have a good Christmas.

 

[Antari Zephyr]

It's basically indoctrination of the young. Even if you teach santa is false, the focus still shifts to gifts and money. I'm on disability myself, my family just gets a couple of presents per person. The past three times we didn't do presents at all. We just focused on our faith in The LORD, which we do every day anyway. The media and market has turned it into a tool to make money. Especially for the children. I remember as an only child getting lots of gifts, not anything expensive, just a lot. Yet I will not be doing the same with any child I may have one day. I'll teach them from the time they can understand that all things here fade away, but in The Kingdom Of God, they do not. So I'll say what is written, Save up treasures not in this world, but rather save up treasure in The Kingdom Of God, where nothing shall perish. It's mainly about teaching them from a very young age. I'm sure your wife is a great person, though perhaps you should show her in His Word where He speaks of materialism. For myself, I was spoiled, and had to go through great trials to recover. Now Christmas is no longer about marketing or advertising, nor money, but purely about worshiping The LORD. If one grows up with that in their mind, chances are they will keep for life, but if not, chances are they will face a trial to come to realize what they should truly be doing. I've faced many, my past self was nothing like I am now. Christ can change anyone.

 

[Antari Zephyr]

Christmas is a difficult time of the year for many, especially for those who are alone or those who lost loved ones just before or just after Christmas. A close friend of mine lost his mother when he was age 20. She died just a few days after Christmas.

Yes, I agree. My family was poor, and my first dad reached the last stage of cancer and died right after Christmas. I was 16. Several of my aunts spread lies about my mother and I saying we abused him. It was not a good time. However, it's been over a decade for me, and I've prayed for help about the feelings of negativity to leave. Now I no longer associate a date with something sad that happened. I find many are unable to do that.

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

My wife is the same way about the Santa thing, I wish she would drop the charade and be truthful with our son, I tried to talk to our four year old son, but she just continues on with the Santa junk. *sigh*

Things could be a whole lot worse brother, I only wish my wife and I could afford a Christmas with gifts that nice. The past couple of years especially including this year, we've not really been able to get each other much of anything for Christmas, a little something but not so much. And if it were not for a local organization that helps poor families with gifts for their children, our son would receive far less and we would have nothing at all for each other. For my wife and I it's not such a big deal, the stuff isn't what Christmas is about, and we have many good memories of Christmas' past. But for kids, Christmas is about...well everything that makes Christmas a special time of the year. The sights, sounds, smells, just everything, including the "spirit of Christmas" where most people are a little kinder, and generally in a better mood. Think back on those past times and remember what made Christmas special when you were young, maybe share a few stories with your family. God bless and Merry Christmas!

 

[Dave G.]

Well, I try not to get into the paganism too much, we spend enough on Christmas but it's never been crazy expensive for us here. But then again you might just as well get in to the pagan side of the holiday since Jesus was not born in Dec anyway. If you want to really celebrate His birthday most accounts and studies put his birth in the spring of the year. However pagans had a winter solstice holiday already with trees and decorations and such and the Catholic church decided to compete with that and maybe draw some of those folks in and Christmas officially became Dec 25. Commercial business jumped on board and while there was a St Nick, Santa Clause as we know him today was invented by the Coca Cola company. And so here we are worshiping and celebrating the Christ and His birth out of season in a non Christian way known as Paganism and paying companies that already have too much of our money to perpetuate the lie with commercial ads . Now believe it or not, as negative as all that sounds, you got to admit that there is a certain spirit about in the midst of it all.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I get what you are saying but I still like it. Mainly, it's what we make of it, and it can be a perfectly good, even great Christian holiday. We don't have to do the things we don't like about it.

As far as a general holiday for anyone/everyone, it get's people thinking a little about God maybe, something we all can use, regardless our faith or lack thereof. And finally, if nothing else, it tends to make people happy no matter who they are and that just can't be bad...we all need as much of that as they can get these days.

Commercial? It's a commercial life and it always will be, 365 days a year.

 

[Jonathan Leo]

I did not know where else to place this thread.

I'm of the mind that children should be taught from an early age that Santa is not real, and that Christmas should be about the birth of Christ and quality family time; not about stuff, stuff, and more stuff. My wife, however, is completely opposite, and to keep the peace, I outwardly happily go along with the Santa charade.

We have four children and spent quite a lot of money on them for Christmas this year, based on our income. Yet I am made to feel like the bad guy because quantity isn't to my dear wife's liking. I have $43.50 to my name until next pay period. Wrapped we have an Xbox One and some games for my eldest, a new TV and a Roku for another, and a new tablet for yet another; not to mention the toys and clothes and shoes, and the gifts for my wife.

There is so much money tied up there. I can't afford anything else. The children have been telling my wife that they want a lot of presents, and she's been encouraging them and assuring them that they will wake up to a Christmas tree sitting on a mountain.

We aren't really fighting, but she's being cold and short with me, and it makes me so angry. I am going to struggle for a little while because I wanted my family to get some nice things for Christmas, but it's "not enough." I hate this. I hate what Christmas has become. I'm a bad person for getting my family nice things.

I too have started to despise Christmas. And I totally understand the wife thing. I told my wife that this is the last year I'm celebrating Christmas. She didn't like my response. When I told her if I buy presents for my family it's because I want, not because I'm obliged just because it's Christmas, I am met with yet more rebellion. When I told her stop lying to the kids about some fat guy in a red suit, she hit the roof.
It's pagan and not even Jesus birthday. It's a false idol and God hates it.
I'm going to be frank here bud but it's truth from the words of God so bear with me. I too will go through some pretty harsh criticism from my own family.
When Jesus said " I have not come to make peace, but a sword and that I will turn father against son, daughter against mother etc etc your enemies will be that of your own family, " it's a frightening piece of scripture.
If we are to make the father no.1 in our lives and adhere to His teaching, then we shouldn't be celebrating Christmas. Keeping the peace and over riding Gods idea is rebellion and we live in sin. Would you rather lose the love of your family or God?
It's a pretty tough one to be in bro, but we must do what's right if our conscience is against it. That's the joy of being the leader of your household.
I dont know how next year will play out but I'm thinking of telling my wife and kids that I am not buying presents, and I'm not supporting you with your Christmas expenses. I'm not cooking dinner, I ain't eating the turkey, I'm not celebrating with the families. I'm not getting drunk and merry and I'm certainly not celebrating new year. At least Jesus fore warned me of the s,,t I'm going to get because of following Him but it's something on my mind since I met Jesus 4 years ago and every year the buzz has started wearing off.
God Bless you bro, Jonathan

 

[Dave G.]

I cut the booze ( I don't drink anyway) of our annual Christmas Eve Celebration here at the house about 4 years ago now and the group has rather changed up and or dropped out except for two couples of about 25 people who used to come, to include some of my own adult kids LOL ! I put more Jesus in at the same time incidentally. Ya, you want to watch what the draw is that so many people always show up for what ever event, try taking away the booze and approach a little more Jesus, then see who shows up. It's a game changer, it really is. Oh and drop the nicer gifts for simple ones and you will find out who the actual loyal ones were all along. So why were they really coming before ? Gifts, food, booze, fun, happy Fizzy party.

I heard a pastors account of his getting saved. He always played cards with a group of guys on Tues evening, all unsaved. After he got saved and was considering seminary school he decided to put root beer in the frig instead of beer. The first guy headed for the fig on this particular Tues and wanted to know where the beer was, the now pastor said in the frig, referencing the root beer. About a half hour later , each one started finding excuses to leave the card game and that was end of those card games. So be it. Just for the record, I am not a fan of alcohol at all, it's a tool of Satan and it doesn't belong in our bodies.

 

[Blade]

Glaucus... whats the reason for this season? What are you looking at? Where is your focus? Who is your Father? Who is your Brother.. your friend your best friend. Your savior. Your GOD!

I am just one with a relationship with Yeshua/Jesus Christ. Song playing right now.. in it said "He can do what no other power can do".. perfect timing huh.. what are the odds.. God any rivers/carry you selah.

So this GOD.. said to you.. what ever you desire when you pray believe you receive you shall have it. He said what ever you ask the Father in my name He will do. What ever you ask me. A woman came to Him and asked for her two children to sit on His right and left. He never said no. He said..you dont know what you ask. That is not mine to give but my Father.

If it was just me.. there would be no tree no lights. Not because I don't like that.. just don't care to. My wife LOVES IT. So..we have the tree lights.. out side. And.. we will go shopping where she picks out the clothes and then not asks.. really MAKES me wrap something she already knows what it is haha

Glaucus.. We keep thinking like man. In this world do we GIVE AND GIVE AND GIVE? No.. we know we take.. we have to fight to get anything. This is NOT our Fathers kingdom. Flip all this. He LOVES To give.. and give and then keeps on giving. Your His child..as is your family. One HAS to have faith that HE is for you.. tell HIM what you dont have.. the needs for others. He told this old woman that was laughing at him..for.. duh in this world who at that age has children. They dont. HE said.. what is to hard for God?

Again song "the answer is YOU" .. haha PERFECT love it

 

[Liza B.]

I too have started to despise Christmas. And I totally understand the wife thing. I told my wife that this is the last year I'm celebrating Christmas. She didn't like my response. When I told her if I buy presents for my family it's because I want, not because I'm obliged just because it's Christmas, I am met with yet more rebellion. When I told her stop lying to the kids about some fat guy in a red suit, she hit the roof.
It's pagan and not even Jesus birthday. It's a false idol and God hates it.
I'm going to be frank here bud but it's truth from the words of God so bear with me. I too will go through some pretty harsh criticism from my own family.
When Jesus said " I have not come to make peace, but a sword and that I will turn father against son, daughter against mother etc etc your enemies will be that of your own family, " it's a frightening piece of scripture.
If we are to make the father no.1 in our lives and adhere to His teaching, then we shouldn't be celebrating Christmas. Keeping the peace and over riding Gods idea is rebellion and we live in sin. Would you rather lose the love of your family or God?
It's a pretty tough one to be in bro, but we must do what's right if our conscience is against it. That's the joy of being the leader of your household.
I dont know how next year will play out but I'm thinking of telling my wife and kids that I am not buying presents, and I'm not supporting you with your Christmas expenses. I'm not cooking dinner, I ain't eating the turkey, I'm not celebrating with the families. I'm not getting drunk and merry and I'm certainly not celebrating new year. At least Jesus fore warned me of the s,,t I'm going to get because of following Him but it's something on my mind since I met Jesus 4 years ago and every year the buzz has started wearing off.
God Bless you bro, Jonathan

How is you refusing to celebrate the birth of Christ with your wife, even though she really wants to, going to make Christ compelling to her? How is this being a Christly leader in your home?

Your post seems to imply that you're chasing after a "Christian buzz" of some type, and if you're not getting it, you're going to drag your wife and kids out of Christmas. In the end that will upset your wife and kids and it won't make you happy either. It's a lose, lose, lose.

 

[Jonathan Leo]

How is you refusing to celebrate the birth of Christ with your wife, even though she really wants to, going to make Christ compelling to her? How is this being a Christly leader in your home?

Your post seems to imply that you're chasing after a "Christian buzz" of some type, and if you're not getting it, you're going to drag your wife and kids out of Christmas. In the end that will upset your wife and kids and it won't make you happy either. It's a lose, lose, lose.

Ok, can you show me in the bible where it mentions any festival on the 25th of December?
Also can you show me in the bible the day Jesus was born?
You will have a hard time finding both of them. However, I can show you where and how Christmas was started. It was started by the Catholic Church which is a false Church because it teaches a false gospel.

Secondaly, I said that I will not want part of it. My family know who Jesus is because they were born catholic, but have not accepted Jesus as their saviour. My family, me included was started well before I was became Christian. They will not participate with everything I say. Trying to remove Christmas from my house will be almost impossible. That said, I as a person can choose not to be a part of it. It is a pagan idol and since God is above my family, I must do what's right in front of Him, not them.

As for being unequally yoked together, as I said, family was started before I was saved. The the bible says if your unbelieving spouse is willing to stay with the believer, do not divorce for the sake of the family. I can and will not be part of Christmas any more because it's not godly. That doesn't mean I will ruin for what they think is a good day.

 

[Jonathan Leo]

I cut the booze ( I don't drink anyway) of our annual Christmas Eve Celebration here at the house about 4 years ago now and the group has rather changed up and or dropped out except for two couples of about 25 people who used to come, to include some of my own adult kids LOL ! I put more Jesus in at the same time incidentally. Ya, you want to watch what the draw is that so many people always show up for what ever event, try taking away the booze and approach a little more Jesus, then see who shows up. It's a game changer, it really is. Oh and drop the nicer gifts for simple ones and you will find out who the actual loyal ones were all along. So why were they really coming before ? Gifts, food, booze, fun, happy Fizzy party.

I heard a pastors account of his getting saved. He always played cards with a group of guys on Tues evening, all unsaved. After he got saved and was considering seminary school he decided to put root beer in the frig instead of beer. The first guy headed for the fig on this particular Tues and wanted to know where the beer was, the now pastor said in the frig, referencing the root beer. About a half hour later , each one started finding excuses to leave the card game and that was end of those card games. So be it. Just for the record, I am not a fan of alcohol at all, it's a tool of Satan and it doesn't belong in our bodies.

Beer is not a root of satan, if so then Jesus would not have drunk wine.
Secondaly, the bible says not to be filled with wine ( beer) for it leads to debauchery.
Having a beer with mates is ok as long as you don't go over the pinnacle. That's when drink starts controlling you and since our own spirit is naturally sinful, the amount of sins we can rack up being drunk is unlimited.

If you want to stop drinking because of God, that's ok but I must admit He would much rather if you stopped sinning altogether.