I advise you to get psychological help. I did for my major depression and found it very helpful. Find a good therapist who will help you get to the bottom of your anxieties, with which you have magnified to paralyze your life. My unconscious mind harbored my unconscious anger and anxieties, and a therapist helped me uncover them. Then, I unloaded my anger and anxieties on God in persistent prayers for several months until he gave me his "peace that transcends understanding" (Philippians 4:6, 7) that has lasted more than 32 years. You are now on my prayer list.A number of things, but the biggest one is anxiety. I'm scared of making a mistake. If I try driving again, I could die in a car wreck or render myself paralyzed, thus limiting my options. If I try and get a job, it could turn out to be horrible and I could get stuck in it. Also, I don't really know how to live on my own. I understand there are bills to pay and maintain, but I'm not familiar with all of them. I just know there are a ton and so finding a job that would pay them could be difficult. Should I have learned? Should my parents have taught me? I don't know, I guess I was just supposed to figure it out at some point. But I didn't. Anxiety scares me into doing nothing because doing nothing is the safest option.
If it helps, I majored in creative writing. I considered going to a graduate school to get a Master's or PHD in that field, but I've found out from my former professor while I was in college that it's mainly for those who intend to teach in that subject. My aim is more to be an author and get some novels published. I don't think I'm qualified or capable of teaching. So at the moment I'm looking at jobs that I could potentially do well in to keep myself financially afloat (and hopefully later independent) before I write something that sells well.Congratulations on graduating from college!
What was your major in college, and what kind of career did you envision for yourself? Have you changed you mind about what you want to do for a living (that's perfectly okay!), or are you just having trouble finding job openings?
Does your college have a career/advising center, or a mailing list/web site where they post job openings? My university has both of those things. Even though you've graduated, your college's career/advising center might be able to connect you with job opportunities.
Many people -- perhaps most, these days -- work for several different companies at several different jobs over the course of their lives, so don't tie yourself in knots too much over finding the perfect lifetime job the first time. Work somewhere for a couple of years and see how you like it. If you like it, stay; if not, move to a different job; and in the meantime, you'll have gotten some job experience and saved a little cash.
It's okay if you don't know how to live on your own yet. You'll learn as you go, and your parents can advise you while you're getting started. My parents helped me when I moved into my first apartment -- helped me find the apartment, and helped me figure out how to get connected to the utilities, and so on. I'll be advising my own children the same way in a few years. You can always call or text mom & dad if there's something you can't figure out.
You don't have to earn God's love. None of us could earn God's love anyway. God loves us just because he made us. If you're feeling distant from God, though, you might consider taking advantage of the free time you have right now and volunteering in some way. You've said that you don't drive, but is there anything within walking distance -- a homeless shelter, or a school where you could help kids with their homework in the afternoons, or something like that? One place we meet God is in the faces of the people we help.
Blessings, grandvizier1006. I wish you well in your journey.
I've unfortunately not had a job. The closest thing was one summer I helped my grandfather at his business for a few weeks. It never became a regular thing but I did get one paycheck. I've put something like that on my resume but I understand that most employers don't care about anything you did in high school, just college and onward. I took my classes and made decent grades in college, but I wasn't involved in anything in an official capacity.grandvizier1006: I'd forgotten, until I looked back at some of your earlier posts, that you have AS and OCD. That adds an extra layer of challenge to your situation.
Have you had any jobs before, in high school or in college? If not, you might start with a part-time job or a temporary job (summer job, internship, etc), just to get some experience. The experience of having some successes in a short-term / part-time job might help alleviate your anxiety as you look ahead to having a full-time job in the future.
I've unfortunately not had a job. The closest thing was one summer I helped my grandfather at his business for a few weeks. It never became a regular thing but I did get one paycheck. I've put something like that on my resume but I understand that most employers don't care about anything you did in high school, just college and onward. I took my classes and made decent grades in college, but I wasn't involved in anything in an official capacity.
Well, comparison is the thief of joy. When you compare yourself to others, you will most likely be one of two things. You will be better than them which is pride. Or, you will be worse than them, which is self-condemnation. Both of which are not of God. Plus, based on what you say about your life, you probably are asking yourself if you have the wrong God because your life isn't where you think it should be. Again, I believe that is because you are expecting something from God He has not promised to give you and missing out on what He has already given to you through your faith in Jesus Christ. While there are anecdotal scriptures one could use to encourage themselves to believe that God promises a life of maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain, they are usually conditional on one living an impossible life that they cannot live and God doesn't expect them to live in the first place. Thus, you end up failing repeatedly and feeling like a guilty, unforgiven, and ashamed hypocrite, who is trapped in sin. The only way out, in my opinion, is to ask the Lord to reteach you His truths, starting with a full understanding of the Gospel and then moving on to a study of your identity in Christ. You will have to be patient as this will take some time as you unlearn a lot of teaching that has led you to the crisis of faith you are currently experiencing. But, I ask you to trust God knowing that He is not ashamed of you, you are forgiven, and you have been cleansed of a guilty conscience. If you want a place to start, may I suggest listening to this free teaching on the Gospel and going from there? Everything will be okay. God is patient with you and will walk with you through this process. Grace and peace to you in your journey to grow in the grace and knowledge of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ.I graduated college back in December. For the past few months I've been sitting around doing very little and I understand that I need a job. I have issues with being lazy, inappropriate content, etc. All typical stuff young men my age have issues with when they have too much free time. I've been having trouble getting to bed and waking up at reasonable hours. This is a problem I've had whenever there were periods in my life without anything to do.
I feel like I'm letting God down and he's disappointed in me because I'm not doing anything that indicates I'm a Christian. I haven't been going to church (too lazy, scared of driving, the only church I can go to is incredibly crowded and I'd have to go with my parents). I sometimes wonder if I were to die, right now, would God say I deserve Hell because I've done very little to glorify Him?
The reason why I am calling myself a hypocrite is because my twin brother is an atheist. But he at the very least has a job and is getting into a graduate school. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, by contrast. I can't say that I'm doing well or living a godly life while my brother isn't just because I believe and he doesn't when he's the one that's actually doing things and I struggle with sin and wasting my time. How should I feel about all this? Guilty? Forgiven? Ashamed?
I've unfortunately not had a job. The closest thing was one summer I helped my grandfather at his business for a few weeks. It never became a regular thing but I did get one paycheck.
If it helps, I majored in creative writing. I considered going to a graduate school to get a Master's or PHD in that field, but I've found out from my former professor while I was in college that it's mainly for those who intend to teach in that subject. My aim is more to be an author and get some novels published. I don't think I'm qualified or capable of teaching. So at the moment I'm looking at jobs that I could potentially do well in to keep myself financially afloat (and hopefully later independent) before I write something that sells well.