I feel dead x_x

[Ead]

Awhile ago, i had to go on medication for a phycological problem. It was supposed to increase my seratonen levels in my brain and not only make me happier (Thus getting me out of a depression) but to cure another problem i have. It didnt work.

While on the meds, i didnt feel any happier. I thought it would need more time. So i was on it for half a year or so. But i noticed that i was happier when i wasnt on it. But i kept taking it.

Then one day i just didnt want to anymore. I think it was after a girl i liked hurt me alot (Emotionally, not physically). My mind knew i should be sad, but i felt nothing. Nothing! I wanted myself to cry, but i couldnt. I noticed that no matter what i did, i felt nothing. Not really happy, not really sad.

My emotions are still damp a year later. They feel dull and weak. I can feel happy sometimes, but it doesnt last long. And lately i feel worse and worse because i still cant feel anything like i used to... Well, beforehand i was depressed ALL the time, so i didnt feel happy much ever. But this is not worth it at all.

Also, i feel horrible when i go to bed at night and discover i wasted another day. With my emotions my will to do things has diminished i think. Its harder and harder to start things up, like writing and things. Short stories that i wrok on take me months to get through (And i havent completed a single one T_T) And more and more ideas float in my head and i cant write them because i dont have initiative.

In summery, i feel dead inside x_x

 

[eoe]

If you want real Joy and not synthetic, chemically engineered, pseudo happiness then there is exactly one place to find it and one person that can give it to you That person is Jesus Christ and that place is his Church.

​

You have issues just like anyone else. Those issues have roots. Those roots are the passions. Until you deal with the cause of the problem you will only continue to palce bandages on the wounds and bum along in a ho hum way. You are alive to the world but you are spiritually dead. This is misery because you are by nature a being with a spiritual nature and purpose. In order to be truely set free you must become as one dead to the world , to the passions, and alive to Christ. He gives life and joy abundantly.

This is the last true rebellion and it is the only way to true happiness.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE
​

 

[Ead]

So, we must sacrifice a life that we can see and touch for a life that does not nessisarily exist? I am very spiritual, but not in this sense. I have a disease of lack of ambition. And every day i go without doing something it tears me apart.

I cannot kill half of myself to revive another.

 

[Aceybee]

It sounds like the medication is doing a pathetic job.. Is it the only medication available? Something don't work for some people, and there might be something that would work better. If it is based on a chemical inbalance, willpower won't fix it. DEPRESSION IS NOT A SPIRITUAL ISSUE.. It is a chemical inbalance, and needs to be treated as such. See if you can get reassessed by your doctor or whoever prescribed it. There are other things they can do. If a medication doesn't start working within 6-8 weeks, it probably never will.
Sometimes those who don't understand depression are more depressing than anything.
I will be praying that things start improving, and that the imbalance can be resolved. In the mean time, get help and don't listen to those who are determined to make it harder for you

 

[eoe]

So, we must sacrifice a life that we can see and touch for a life that does not nessisarily exist? I am very spiritual, but not in this sense

I did not say that it would be easy, just that it is worth it.

I have a disease of lack of ambition. And every day i go without doing something it tears me apart.

Chapter one, Way of the Ascetics:

IF you wish to save your soul and win eternal life, arise from your lethargy, make the sign of the Cross and say:
In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Faith comes not through pondering but through action. Not words and speculation but experience teaches us what God is. To let in fresh air we have to open a window; to get tanned we must go out into the sunshine. Achieving faith is no different; we never reach a goal by just sitting in comfort and waiting, say the holy Fathers. Let the Prodigal Son be our example. He arose and came (Luke 15:20).
However weighed down and entangled in earthly fetters you may be, it can never be too late. Not without reason is it written that Abraham was seventy-five when he set forth, and the labourer who comes in the eleventh hour gets the same wages as the one who comes in the first.
Nor can it be too early. A forest fire cannot be put out too soon; would you see your soul ravaged and charred?
In baptism you received the command to wage the invisible warfare against the enemies of your soul; take it up now. Long enough have you dallied; sunk in indifference and laziness you have let much valuable time go to waste. Therefore you must begin again from the beginning: for you have let the purity you received in baptism be sullied in dire fashion.
Arise, then; but do so at once, without delay. Do not defer your purpose till "tonight" or "tomorrow" or "later, when I have finished what I have to do just now." The interval may be fatal.
No, this moment, the instant you make your resolution, you will show by your action that you have taken leave of your old self and have now begun a new life, with a new destination and a new way of living. Arise, therefore, without fear and say: Lord, let me begin now. Help me! For what you need above all is God's help. . Hold fast to your purpose and do not look back. We have been given a warning example in Lot's wife, who was turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back (Genesis 19:26). You have cast off your old humanity; let the rags lie. Like Abraham, you have heard the voice of the Lord: Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, into a land that I will show thee (Genesis 12:1). Towards that land hereafter you must direct all your attention.

I cannot kill half of myself to revive another.

It is not a matter of killing half of yourself. It is a matter of rooting out the causes of your troubles - the passions. You become as one that is already dead to the world but you are truely alive in Christ. This happens in this life and on this planet. You do not have to wait until the next life to gain the benefits. The life of a true Christain on earth is a foretaste of heaven. When we become free from the passions the demons can no longer torment us. We are set free.

What good would a rebellion be if it did not end in freedom? Life in Christ is a rebellion against the world and its passions - against nihilism. This rebellion leads to freedom and joy - right here in this life as well as in the next.

We humans are spiritual beings. If we neglect that part of us we die inside. We are not of this world. We do not belong here. We belong to Christ and there will be no happiness without him. It is our nature as humans to be happiest only when we are in contact with God.

Please read this - Not of this world.

 

[Ead]

It sounds like the medication is doing a pathetic job.. Is it the only medication available? Something don't work for some people, and there might be something that would work better. If it is based on a chemical inbalance, willpower won't fix it. DEPRESSION IS NOT A SPIRITUAL ISSUE.. It is a chemical inbalance, and needs to be treated as such. See if you can get reassessed by your doctor or whoever prescribed it. There are other things they can do. If a medication doesn't start working within 6-8 weeks, it probably never will.
Sometimes those who don't understand depression are more depressing than anything.
I will be praying that things start improving, and that the imbalance can be resolved. In the mean time, get help and don't listen to those who are determined to make it harder for you

I believe that medication makes people weak in the long run. I have only taken pain pills or cold suppressors only a few times in my life. Luckly, i dont get sick often. And when my mom said that i was going to go on meds, i hated the idea. It didnt help me much, but i did get out of a continuos depression. Now its just on and off depending on my self-defeating thoughts. Which can be seen as a positive thing ^.^

If i keep busy, i am happy. When i am idle, i get sad. And alot of the summer i have been idle. I am missing self-disapline to make myself do things, even things that i love to do (Like writing and such)! But the medication didnt depress me, they robbed me of emotions for a long time, and now i am slowly recovering i think.

It wasnt depression i was suffering while on the medication. It was something worse. I had NO feelings. I didnt feel sad, or happy, or angry, or depressed. Actually, i remember after a very sad day where i couldnt feel sad, i wished i could even feel the pain of the sadness just so i could feel something, anything at all.

I agree with nihilism, because everything is relitive to each other. A Christian would think a cannible in the jungles were savage, insane, and doing evil things. The cannible would see the Christian as crazy, weird, and not doing good things. To Hitler, he was doing good when slaughtering people, but to most other people they see it as pretty not good. Point of view is everything.

 

[eoe]

I agree with nihilism, because everything is relitive to each other. A Christian would think a cannible in the jungles were savage, insane, and doing evil things. The cannible would see the Christian as crazy, weird, and not doing good things. To Hitler, he was doing good when slaughtering people, but to most other people they see it as pretty not good. Point of view is everything.

The Blessed Father Seraphim Rose felt the same way for a long, long time. He then went on to be one of the greatest spiritual people that the US has ever seen.

You say that point of view is everything. Whose point of view is ultimately the judge of everything? Yours or that of God?

There is an ultimate truth. It has been revealed. Maybe some day you will see that. Until then, can you see that all of these things that you mention, sluggishness, being idle, etc. all have causes? What I am suggesting is that you look to find out what the cause is and then actively work to fix it. If the underlying cause is being a lazy teenager then do the opposite of what a lazy teenager would do. Get out and do some gardening (read your profile). Do you have an award winning garden? Why not? You have free time right? Force yourself to go out and work at something. It will be hardest the first time but it gets easier.

IF the underlying cause is that you are self-pleasing or greedy, do the opposite - go out and work with the homeles or the less fortunate. Help someone else.
By practicing the virtue that is the opposite of the passion that you suffer from you will begin to chip away at its hold on you. Eventualy in this way you can become more and more free from the problems that we all face. Greed, sloth, gluttony, avarice, lust.... All of these have an opposing virtue that works against them.

For the record - I am not suggesting *ANYTHING* that has to do with medication. I am not a doctor and I have no basis to suggest that anyone take any course of action with medication. I am not telling anyone to change medicines, alter dosages or instructions or anything. Doctors are doctors and should be consulted about medical issues. IF you feel that your medicine is a problem - talk to your doctor about it. Don't wait. Call them today.

 

[heron]

Ead, I know someone who makes up his own retreats... takes a few days every once in a while to make himself collect his thoughts. (His mom was very understanding.) He would get permission to pitch a tent in the church property, or a park, then pray and chill by himself.

Since you're a writer, I'm thinking you probably journal. But it sounds like you're in a self-critical stage and are probably mixing up your need to express yourself with your internal demand to put out something great. Relax and breathe. You have aspirations, but they won't fall apart if you let them build slowly.

So I'm making you a list of things to write about -- not for a finished product, but for your own rambling. There are no right answers. There are no intentions to sell your story later. (-;

1. Did you feel like your relationship was great when
the girl hurt you?

a. it didn't make logical sense, and it took a long time to adjust to

b. you felt like you should be able to fix the [error], but couldn't

c. she was just plain cruel

d. you still feel like she was the perfect person for you.

2. Did you depend on her for security?

a. just her being there made you feel better about life

b. she held standards that you often leaned into and tried to please... and maybe the pivotal moment was a statment that you could no longer prove your worth to her...she stopped listening or setting demands.

c. your friends were her friends, and your days used to be spent with her... removing her from your life shifted a lot of other stabilities.

d. she was not a girlfriend, but someone you listened to enough to be hurt by.

3. What parts of the memories can you let go of? Why?

4. What's the next aspiration in your life... is there something like a career that you're working toward? Have you had any dead ends with it?


I'm bringing these up, not to ignore the physical dilemma, but because I know it takes time to adjust to any type of loss. Think of how long people take to recover from losing a pet. Or adjust to a new home and school. It's a big drain, emotionally and physically.

People used to wear black for over a year after a loved one died. They respected recovery time. We're in such a rush now... many demands to keep moving. The body fixes things over time. God fixes things over time. But allow some of the imperfection of sorrow to work its way out.

Whether it seems so or not, some of your self-worth was tied up in the hurtful moment, and maybe in the relationship before that. Even though the joy of the Lord can be your strength, God also knows what we're going through.

Ps 56:8 You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?​

 

[Ead]

Right now i could be considered on a retreat ^.^ My mom and sister left for Seattle for three days, so i have been busy busy

If i work and write things, i can stay happy. When they are around, i dont find time to do anything other than sit on the computer all day. I dont know why.

Anyway, the girl. I wasnt dependant on her, and her friend were not my friends (In most cases. I am friends with one of her friends now just cause shes a nice girl). My mistake was i didnt do much with her. I didnt take her mini-golfing and i didnt talk to her in school... I probably seemed like i was ignoring her, but i really wanted to talk to her.

I took her to the movies once in winter (Does that count as a date? I still dont know...) Anyway, that was one of the best days of my life But, i just stopped after that, because i was scared i would let her down in some way. Ironically, i let her down because i was too scared to let her down! =P

I did think she was (Maybe is...) perfect for me. And i care alot about her, even now. I worry about her going out with these really mean guys in my school that only want girls to do... stuff with and then they dump them. It worries me. And i dont want her to get hurt.

The thing that i have figured to hurt most of all is one-sided care (Im tempted to say love, because i might have felt like that at one time). I care so much about her, and i like her alot. But she doesnt seem to care nor like me at all. Its like a puppy following a person that just ignores them. It makes the puppy depressed and play on video games all day =P

I show her i care alot actually. Her last two birthdays, i have given her hand-made gifts, that i spend hours working on. Even though i never hear a thanks or anything from her, i still feel happy about it. Haha, i even wrote a very large poem-story to her, all rhyming and stuff. Not only i had fun writing that, but i also gave her another short poem and a really cute teddy bear ^.^

It was tough to stop hugging that lil bear =P

Anyway, thats some teen drama eh? I could be called picky, cause i dont go out with just any girl. I want them to be smart, and funny, and pretty... And she is all of that. And i dont think all these other guys she has gone out with can see what i see in her... They dont care about how smart she is, or how fun she can be... Is it selfish to want to protect her from such people that would only hurt her in the end?

 

[heron]

Well, Ead, thanks for not thinking I was bossing you around with intrusive work to do.

It makes the puppy depressed and play on video games all day =P

I can understand that. The computer is a great way to zone out....feel like you're accomplishing something because your fingers and brain are moving.

Pain is great fodder for a writer. Ha! I'm sure you wanted to hear that.

I see a couple familiar things.

One, she seems ideal, but she treats people carelessly. Which makes her not as ideal as you'd think. Even if she didn't like like you, she should still thank you for taking the time to remember her.

Maybe she felt awkard, not knowing how to handle the attention... but a solid thank-you doesn't take much effort or lead someone on.

Even though you want to do these things for her, it can put the gift into the obligatory zone, where now she feels like she should have done something for your birthday. I would lighten up...gifts to anyone can lead to pressure. However warped that is!

In any case, the ideal woman is someone who will care about you for many years...not someone that you have to scramble to please.

Two, she's young and enjoying experiences. Everyone starts out selfish and confused when they start dating. But when she settles, she might take a totally different approach to dating. She might start looking for nice guys!

I appreciate your concern for her... a lot can happen in a few bad relationships. She probably appreciates your protectiveness a bit too. Listen to her cues.

Sensing your devotion might make her nervous, because it draws more attention to her than feels due. You know, like when you're six and everyone praises you for washing dishes by yourself... or if a teacher tells the whole class you got the only "A." Or she doesn't know how to set her boundaries yet.

If you're sure that she isn't interested in anything romantic, then the poem pushed you over the safe zone. No poems. Not until someone declares they like you.

I do understand that devotion-- that obsessive connection you feel with her -- but I don't understand why and how it works that way. It just does... it seems like an imprint in our souls, like baby geese following what they think is their mother (did you see Fly Away Home?). An instict that we can't easily get rid of.

Consider that the internal wish that she liked you might be more than just love, or devotion, because it is holding on longer than is practical. It's turning love into fate, and dumping you to the bottom of the barrel. There are women who will treat you better. There are smart, pretty, fun women in other places that you'll meet someday.

They won't be her. But would it be better to cling to a dramatic unanswered passion, or meet someone who you can have a great life with. Being a romantic works for screenplays, but it makes a life drag on for hours.

 

[Shubunkin]

Being around people constantly stifles my creativity. I love to write, to paint, to draw, to make things with my hands such as crocheting, and sewing. I get none of this done when people are home around me, asking for me to fix them food, watching a very loud TV, and sitting around mainly doing nothing. Sometimes I "zone out" on the computer, making some hap-hazard graphics or something, but that is not really fulfilling. What is needed is for creativity to happen is to be perfectly alone, and at peace. Now while most of our troubles can make our writing more interesting, the actual writing needs to occur when you are at peace. Our troubles make our experiences more interesting, thus giving us more information to write creatively.

It is like right now, my son is home, watching TV, and making things a lot more confusing than I want them to be. I'm not yelling at him, though, because he won't be home much longer. Then I will get a nice break. I love my family, but sometimes an overdose of their ways is too much.

One of the ways I get away from this type of thing is to take my dog for a walk. We love to walk through the neighborhood drinking in the different sights and sounds. Sometimes it is good getting away from the housework, and driving somewhere else, and maybe going shopping, even if I don't actually buy anything. There is always the library, where you can go to read.

If you have a museum close by, or an art gallery, that is great for gathering your thoughts, and being at peace.

Peace is a natural healer, and there are many ways of getting it, and also through belief in Jesus too. I think during a quiet time, that is when he is with us the strongest. It allows for him to get through to us.

 

[heron]

Being around people constantly stifles my creativity. I love to write, to paint, to draw, to make things with my hands such as crocheting, and sewing. I get none of this done when people are home around me, asking for me to fix them food, watching a very loud TV, and sitting around mainly doing nothing. Sometimes I "zone out" on the computer, making some hap-hazard graphics or something, but that is not really fulfilling. What is needed is for creativity to happen is to be perfectly alone, and at peace. Now while most of our troubles can make our writing more interesting, the actual writing needs to occur when you are at peace. Our troubles make our experiences more interesting, thus giving us more information to write creatively.


One of the ways I get away from this type of thing is to take my dog for a walk.

Peace is a natural healer, and there are many ways of getting it, and also through belief in Jesus too. I think during a quiet time, that is when he is with us the strongest. It allows for him to get through to us.

So true! I've noticed that when I want to write more than expression/venting, I need to cut out even worthwhile distractions... design a sort of a fast from input. It's not good to sustain that forever, but it definitely helps.

 

[angelsword]

Awhile ago, i had to go on medication for a phycological problem. It was supposed to increase my seratonen levels in my brain and not only make me happier (Thus getting me out of a depression) but to cure another problem i have. It didnt work.

While on the meds, i didnt feel any happier. I thought it would need more time. So i was on it for half a year or so. But i noticed that i was happier when i wasnt on it. But i kept taking it.

Then one day i just didnt want to anymore. I think it was after a girl i liked hurt me alot (Emotionally, not physically). My mind knew i should be sad, but i felt nothing. Nothing! I wanted myself to cry, but i couldnt. I noticed that no matter what i did, i felt nothing. Not really happy, not really sad.

My emotions are still damp a year later. They feel dull and weak. I can feel happy sometimes, but it doesnt last long. And lately i feel worse and worse because i still cant feel anything like i used to... Well, beforehand i was depressed ALL the time, so i didnt feel happy much ever. But this is not worth it at all.

Also, i feel horrible when i go to bed at night and discover i wasted another day. With my emotions my will to do things has diminished i think. Its harder and harder to start things up, like writing and things. Short stories that i wrok on take me months to get through (And i havent completed a single one T_T) And more and more ideas float in my head and i cant write them because i dont have initiative.

In summery, i feel dead inside x_x

I have read the answer people gave to your post and will admit that alot of it was very interesting. However, no one seemed to mention one very important thing: The Professional Medical Operators.

My mother went on operation a few years ago and was pricked, tested and given medication before and after her opperation. She is a strong Christian (as well as my sister and myself) and what we all found out was horrifying, but true. After she came home she had the most horrible delusions from the medication. She knew God existed, but couldn't feel him anymore! This in itself is not terrifying but the fact that it was intentional is!

Out of the 6 books we intend to write ( one is already published and numbers two and three are already typed and ready for publishing) she is prepared to relate the horrors she went through in the hospital where she met Christain nurses and Doctors and Satanic nurses and Doctors alike!

It took prayer, fasting and proper diet and rest to phase out the damage done to my mother by corrupt hospital staff. On more than one occasion we have heard people give horror stories of where they hallucinated or just about freaked out (and unfortunately, there were those that died!) because of medication and was told that 'it was the natural effects of the drug'! I am not saying all hospitals are like this, but we have got to be careful of what is out there! Not everyone is above board in their profession.

 

[heron]

Wow, how did we miss that one! You are so right, Angelsword. (So sorry to hear what your mum went through.)

I've known people who describe very obvious changed in their feelings due to meds. And the side effects are right on the bottle... also on the web pages.

One of the FX of at least one antidepressant is suicidal tendencies. Make sense of that one. People on ADD drugs often skip doses because it makes them feel dull and lifeless, uncreative.

From the Zoloft site:

What is the FDA warning all about?
Depression is a serious medical condition, which can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior. A combined analysis of 9 antidepressants has prompted the FDA to place a warning on all materials related to antidepressants.

This analysis showed an increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior from 2% to 4% in people under 18. This risk must be balanced with the medical need. Those starting medication should be watched closely for suicidal thoughts, worsening of depression, or unusual changes in behavior.

http://www.zoloft.com/zoloft/zoloft.portal?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=common_questions


Isn't it frustrating to think that it's not you? I mean, you don't totally own your own thoughts? Talk to your doctor again.

Medical practitioners are not out to get you, but are working with what they know... the amount of information they've gained. And since the knowledge of health and medicine continues to grow, they simply can't know everything. You need to find what it takes to be well.

Doctors and nurses are also limited to ten or fifteen minutes of glancing at your chart, looking at vital signs, figuring out the next step, and moving on. They simply don't have the time to get into the whole scenario. So when you meet with them, figure out your most important points -- like the medication is causing problems -- and start the conversation there.

Rebound: Some people who take short acting methylphenidate or amphetamine experience irritability or depression for an hour as the stimulant wears off. Sometimes this is worse than the individual’s behavior before the medication was started.
http://www.ncpamd.com/Stimulant_Side_Effects.htm

(Angelsword-- the Bahamas? I am a big Myles Munroe fan. And a big tropical climate fan too. Of course.)​

 

[Ead]

Naw, i dont think its the medication that is making me sad at this time. It is when i waste a day playing games or whatever, and i look back at night and say "Well, that was a waste". And i cant help but concentrate on that, which makes it feel like all my days where wasted, which makes me feel worthless and in turn makes me sad. Ironically, i then get bored and play more worthless games =P

 

[heron]

Oh, yeah. On days like that I've learned to make myself get up and go outside for at least ten minutes at a time -- get the mail, move something in the yard, trim branches... anything to get some sunlight and air, movement of trees.

Games make you feel like you've accomplished something. Your mind and fingers are reacting to what you see. Make yourself learn something new online before you start -- a code, a script, a process, a language, the news... something that your head knows is productive. I know, it's a battle that's hard to admit is there.

Naw, i dont think its the medication that is making me sad at this time. It is when i waste a day playing games or whatever, and i look back at night and say "Well, that was a waste". And i cant help but concentrate on that, which makes it feel like all my days where wasted, which makes me feel worthless and in turn makes me sad. Ironically, i then get bored and play more worthless games =P

 

[hlaltimus]

Awhile ago, i had to go on medication for a phycological problem. It was supposed to increase my seratonen levels in my brain and not only make me happier (Thus getting me out of a depression) but to cure another problem i have. It didnt work.

While on the meds, i didnt feel any happier. I thought it would need more time. So i was on it for half a year or so. But i noticed that i was happier when i wasnt on it. But i kept taking it.

Then one day i just didnt want to anymore. I think it was after a girl i liked hurt me alot (Emotionally, not physically). My mind knew i should be sad, but i felt nothing. Nothing! I wanted myself to cry, but i couldnt. I noticed that no matter what i did, i felt nothing. Not really happy, not really sad.

My emotions are still damp a year later. They feel dull and weak. I can feel happy sometimes, but it doesnt last long. And lately i feel worse and worse because i still cant feel anything like i used to... Well, beforehand i was depressed ALL the time, so i didnt feel happy much ever. But this is not worth it at all.

Also, i feel horrible when i go to bed at night and discover i wasted another day. With my emotions my will to do things has diminished i think. Its harder and harder to start things up, like writing and things. Short stories that i wrok on take me months to get through (And i havent completed a single one T_T) And more and more ideas float in my head and i cant write them because i dont have initiative.

In summery, i feel dead inside x_x

I wish I knew as much about medication as some of the other people here seem to, but I do know that history is strewn with countless cases of people who had nothing but problems and sought out help from God out of sheer desperation and found Him...And I am one of them. The problems that I had were mountainous, but I found this Being when I was willing to sacrifice anything that offended Him in order to finding Him. Now, as I look back at those dark days, I can see that many of my personal disappointments were really sovereignly arrainged for by God for the very purpose of circumstantially encouraging me in that search for Him. It was a "call" that did not look like a call. Why would God blast an entire barley crop and thus produce a terrible bread famine in a country? Well, maybe there was a certain Prodigal Son hanging out in the hog feeding pen that needed to come home and this was his providential call! Read Luke 15:11-32 God 'speaks" to us non-audibly in many, many of our disappointments, and it is for such disappointed people that the precious gospel call is the most likely of ever finding a joyous reception. Finding God will not take away many of your problems instantly, but you will gain an omnipotent Ally against those problems, which Ally melts mountains at His very word.

 

[heron]

hlaltimus has a good point. God will go to great lengths to help you find a meaningful, creative, loving, productive life. I find that when I take God's path, it is much more adventurous than I would have chosen.

A funny correlation with this concept of a little misery invested toward a greater long-term goal... I have found that when I'm in a group of people actively praising God, they are much happier than groups that sit and respect God. I don't mean smiley-fakey happier, but just plain feeling good.

They are moving, the oxygen and blood are going through their bodies, they make conscious decisions to let go of despairing distractions, they let go of unforgiveness that weights them down, they are not pining about this or that. They are just grateful.

I'm sure that God knows this, and knows what our bodies and minds need. Our seratonin can go up when we choose to be happy and grateful, and give ourselves breaks from the mundane and irritating and tense and oppressive.

I spent a lot of years trying to prove how driven I was, and found that I had lost all value for happiness. That seemed frivolous to me -- I was above needing fluff and cheer. Well, living without it for a number of years can get to you physically and mentally. And even though I believe there are medical things that need attention, I think there might be times where you need to seek out your own happiness and make yourself step out in it.
For long-term survival.

 

[heron]

Have you seen Click? (I'm not a Sandler fan.. not not not.) In the movie, he lets himself out of so many activities, that he starts to automatically fast-forward through things he didn't choose to. I'm not saying this well. He programmed his life to pick up the negative parts.

I see emo people doing that... dragging themselves down by choosing self-insult and despair, sometimes out of fear of looking uncool/too happy. They compete over who is the least happy. Who will win this unspoken competition...

Again, I'm not implying you are depressed for the wrong reasons! Lol. But do a search on biofeedback... people retraining themselves to handle stress ... and you'll get what I'm trying to say.