i dont want to live anymore

[knw1991]

God is liar, all i wanted was to live a good life and please God with my life, but look where i am today. how can i ever trust a god that lets people suffer everyday. life is hopeless, i wish i was never born, i wouldnt have to live in this evil world or have a mind to ever think of God.

 

[RuthD]

Do you get psychiatric help? If not, I think it would help you. You have been very depressed for very long and you need help to fight it. I take meds. that help me to face life every day without feeling horrible. I am praying for you.You don't always have to have money to get help. Call your local hospital and tell them how you feel and they will refer you to somebody that can help you for free. There is hope but you need to take that step.

 

[knw1991]

im afraid, people will look at me strange if they found out. my mom wont understand why i need psychiatric help. people tell me i need to renew my mind and take every thought captive. but that makes me run away even more. why do i have to go through such a hard painful process. its not fair. i rather die. its just not fair. i didnt ask for this, i had good intentions but God has left me and my life has spiraled out of control.

 

[Woven]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It's so confusing to look at the reality of difficult circumstances that we find ourselves in and try reconcile that with the idea of a good and loving God. We ask questions like "Why is God letting these bad things happen to me? Why is He letting me be humiliated like this? Why won't He let me succeed at this or that?" [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Humans have this penchant for blame that affects the way we view God.

But the truth is that, even though it may feel like, God isn't out to get you, or to make you suffer. We live in a fallen world, it's the enemy's playground and sometimes bad things happen to good people. [/FONT]God is compassionate and loving. He doesn't take delight in our suffering. He grieves with us. Don't let the enemy tell you otherwise. Whenever you start doubting that go read Jeremiah 29:11.

I know that it's hard to believe there is any light at the end of the tunnel when you are surrounded by so much darkness. But God always sees the bigger picture. He can see things you don't and He understands things we don't. Our job is not to understand why everything happens, it is simply to trust Him. Trust that He can work all circumstances for your good and meditate on His promises for you.

I hope you find a way to see a therapist. We aren't meant to do life alone, we need the support of others. There is no shame in getting the help that you need. Praying for you precious Kendra
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[RuthD]

im afraid, people will look at me strange if they found out. my mom wont understand why i need psychiatric help. people tell me i need to renew my mind and take every thought captive. but that makes me run away even more. why do i have to go through such a hard painful process. its not fair. i rather die. its just not fair. i didnt ask for this, i had good intentions but God has left me and my life has spiraled out of control.

I was very afraid to get help, too, and some people don't understand why I need help but I can't worry about that anymore. My life is a battle too, but getting help has helped me to come out of absolute misery like you are in. I am praying for you and I care.

 

[knw1991]

Thank you Woven and Ruth for writing. I just want to know that it's ok that I don't have a boyfriend or a significant other in my life. My life seems like a disaster. I went up for prayer today in church and I broke down crying. Some of the women comforted me and prayed for me but I fear that I'll relapse again into my depressed state and give up on hope for my life. I just feel empty, like there are so many missing pieces to my soul like love and a father. I'm afraid of the future and i wonder if my life will be worse than it is today. I wonder if I pray and seek after God will he even be there to help me? Will I have a purposeful life? Will I find what my career path and purpose is? Will I ever be married and have a family of my own? It seems that all I have going for myself is school and I even struggle with that.

Everyone sees me as someone that's focused on my education but they don't know I'm a weary broken person just getting by in life. I'm not living life I'm barely making it because every day is a battle to find hope and strength. I haven't relied on God instead I found ways to not think about my problems but i later face them with even more hurt.

I guess I'm just hoping that things will really change for me. Praying and waiting on God seems so hard how am I suppose to get through each hour that passes? All I have are reminders of the emptiness in my life. Every time I hear about someone getting married or see a father with his child, or hear about someone mentioning what God has done for them I feel abandoned and empty. I don't have any of those things. I'm sorry for whining but it hurts so much.

there are so many things wrong with me. how can i even begin to pray for each of them? what if i leave something out? what if God doesnt see those areas of my life as a big deal?

 

[Christian7PraiseJesus]

Thank you Woven and Ruth for writing. I just want to know that it's ok that I don't have a boyfriend or a significant other in my life. My life seems like a disaster. I went up for prayer today in church and I broke down crying. Some of the women comforted me and prayed for me but I fear that I'll relapse again into my depressed state and give up on hope for my life. I just feel empty, like there are so many missing pieces to my soul like love and a father. I'm afraid of the future and i wonder if my life will be worse than it is today. I wonder if I pray and seek after God will he even be there to help me? Will I have a purposeful life? Will I find what my career path and purpose is? Will I ever be married and have a family of my own? It seems that all I have going for myself is school and I even struggle with that.

Everyone sees me as someone that's focused on my education but they don't know I'm a weary broken person just getting by in life. I'm not living life I'm barely making it because every day is a battle to find hope and strength. I haven't relied on God instead I found ways to not think about my problems but i later face them with even more hurt.

I guess I'm just hoping that things will really change for me. Praying and waiting on God seems so hard how am I suppose to get through each hour that passes? All I have are reminders of the emptiness in my life. Every time I hear about someone getting married or see a father with his child, or hear about someone mentioning what God has done for them I feel abandoned and empty. I don't have any of those things. I'm sorry for whining but it hurts so much.

there are so many things wrong with me. how can i even begin to pray for each of them? what if i leave something out? what if God doesnt see those areas of my life as a big deal?

Don’t let the losers around you control your actions. Being successful is a continuous journey. Don’t get tied to “your place”, keep moving. Allow them to fill up and follow. You are the leader.

http://www.myjobthoughts.com/management-tips-from-james-bond-007/

You have to realize that you control your actions and attitude not anyone else. You can be influenced to do certain things, but you have the final decision on what you actually do.

"TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: The good news is that you control your actions, which means that your results are dependent on what you do on a consistent or inconsistent basis. Many people want success overnight (this would be a good time to identify what that means to you), but success is a process that is created by the actions and ownership we take over time. Be honest, will your actions lead to the results you want? There is still plenty of time to assess where you are in different areas of your life and decide what shifts, if any, need to take place to get the results you desire.

Life is a series of choices.
Each day you must decide how to invest your precious time and energy. Will you step up and be the CEO of your life, or franchise out different areas and let others make key decisions for you? If you want a specific set of results, you must take an active role in your life and be proactive. If changing jobs is a core priority, then what steps are you taking on a daily basis to own the situation and create a new path?




Have you ever had an important project or goal not turn out as well as you had hoped? Don’t worry, we all have! It’s time to reverse this trend by re-evaluating the actions we are taking in our lives to see if they are setting us up for success."

Position Yourself for Success « Positively Positive

This is a great website above!

"Each week, I pick a new belief I want to have—for example, “we’re lucky” or “life is good.” And I think on it throughout the day. I bring it up in conversation and generally emanate it. Part of my little game is to see if my new “idea” comes back to me. So far, I have had surprising success. People notice my new attitude and feed it back to me, even my kids. The culture I want in my home is one of invention."

Get Your Hopes Up « Positively Positive

Here's example of someone with a very positive attitude: Nick Vujicic, he is an Australian and was born without any limbs or legs. His attitude makes him a great motivational speaker. His optimistic attitude and beliefs makes him successful and inspirational!

Nick Vujicic - DVD Part 1/11 - YouTube

Here is Kevin Carroll and his presentation "little red ball/catalyst"
I saw his presentation at the National Society of Leadership and Success, where I was the secretary at for a year. This is not his exact presentation, but it is inspirational because he had no parents (left at a young age) and used a red ball to inspire him to dream big. He then worked at Nike (despite all odds!) and helped people in Uganda, as well as be a great motivational speaker nationwide. Have you thought of joining a student organization at your college? Taking a leadership position? It is inspiring and a great way to practice/learn leadership and help others, too. Volunteering and seeing others thank you is SO satisfying and gratifying. I had never taken a leadership position before, so it was a risk, but I jumped in and took it.

TEDxVancouver - Kevin Carroll - 11/21/09 - YouTube

Motivational speakers are GREAT to listen to. There are plenty of them online on youtube, e.g.

(If it makes you feel any better, I never really "had" a dad except for Jesus, of course. It's no big deal, it makes me stronger and I'm actually glad I didn't because it makes me more independent and self-assured. It means I did everything by myself without any help. That makes me feel satisfied. I take it in stride. "I" did it!)

I'm guessing your history is really good, as I wrote before, I can just tell. Your words doctor, graduate school (not everyone even thinks about this!), education, being something, doing more, making a difference, you have a lot going for you. You have that drive that so many people want to have. There's ambition there, you just need to harness it like a catalyst and take off! FLY LIKE AN EAGLE!