I don't want to be Bisexual

[HeStillLovesPenguin]

This is so hard for me to talk about. I don't even know where to start. Within the last couple months I started to realize that some of the feelings I would get seemed to indicate that I had a slight attraction to females. Upon realizing this, I felt so sick and for a full week I couldn't focus on anything. The thought repulsed me, but to my complete sadness I started to realize that I had had these types of problems throughout my life too. I finally decided to go to a older friend of mine and talk to her about this. She is a well respected older lady in my church and has always been a dedicated Christian. After I shared my feelings with her she talked with me about them and then informed me that she had been praying for me recently and God had in formed her of my fears and told her that I was not gay. Of course this was a relief to me. But then she told me that she says I should continue to check in with her to see if anything changes. This statement sent my mind back into complete terror. I don't want to be Bisexual. I have always been very boy obsessed and I know for certain that I am attracted to males. But what scares me is that even when I look back on my life I have always had a sick strange addiction to masochistic sexual things. I am really only attracted to women in that type of sense and I naturally repulse it at the same time. Those type of feelings went away for a while when I was growing up and didn't show back up until I was in highschool. That time of my life was hard for me and felt very unwanted and unloved. Sometimes when a friend who was female would touch me I would be effected in a way I knew was not what was supposed to happen so I quit being in situations where I could have those encounters. The strange part was though, when I had a boyfriend, I didn't have those feelings. This is the reason my good friend I mentioned earlier thought I wasn't actually bisexual and that instead I was just looking for love from someone. While these feelings are no where equal to the times of attraction I have to men, it still repulses me and haunts me constantly. I also have some masturbation problems... while women have never been my source of it the last time a women body part actually popped into my mind and scared me that my problem was getting worse. I know I have alot of problems. I am also one of those types of people that can make myself think something bad is happening. The more I was scared of thinking those kinds of thoughts the more my brain would have them... in that case, I don't know if those thoughts were genuine or something my brain made up from my own fear of trying to not have such thoughts. I used to go to church often but recently have been distancing myself from Christians for really no reason except that going to church just makes me more repulsed at myself. Right now I am also in a relationship with a guy who is wiccan so that really doesn't help my problems any. Please help me. Until I wrote all this out I didn't realize in how bad off I really am.

 

[RuthD]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. It's not unusual for just about anything to pop into our heads. We do not have to agree with what comes into our head, there are so many reasons outside of ourselves that different thoughts come into our minds. It's not your fault you have some of these thoughts. Please believe me. We can control what we do with these thoughts. I just dismiss thoughts that are too disturbing. I am praying for you.

 

[HeStillLovesPenguin]

Thankyou... I always wondered what I did to make myself so messed up. I wish I didn't have this problem. I feel so gross. Thankyou for the prayer>.<

 

[prodigal brother]

This is so hard for me to talk about. I don't even know where to start. Within the last couple months I started to realize that some of the feelings I would get seemed to indicate that I had a slight attraction to females. Upon realizing this, I felt so sick and for a full week I couldn't focus on anything. The thought repulsed me, but to my complete sadness I started to realize that I had had these types of problems throughout my life too. I finally decided to go to a older friend of mine and talk to her about this. She is a well respected older lady in my church and has always been a dedicated Christian. After I shared my feelings with her she talked with me about them and then informed me that she had been praying for me recently and God had in formed her of my fears and told her that I was not gay. Of course this was a relief to me. But then she told me that she says I should continue to check in with her to see if anything changes. This statement sent my mind back into complete terror. I don't want to be Bisexual. I have always been very boy obsessed and I know for certain that I am attracted to males. But what scares me is that even when I look back on my life I have always had a sick strange addiction to masochistic sexual things. I am really only attracted to women in that type of sense and I naturally repulse it at the same time. Those type of feelings went away for a while when I was growing up and didn't show back up until I was in highschool. That time of my life was hard for me and felt very unwanted and unloved. Sometimes when a friend who was female would touch me I would be effected in a way I knew was not what was supposed to happen so I quit being in situations where I could have those encounters. The strange part was though, when I had a boyfriend, I didn't have those feelings. This is the reason my good friend I mentioned earlier thought I wasn't actually bisexual and that instead I was just looking for love from someone. While these feelings are no where equal to the times of attraction I have to men, it still repulses me and haunts me constantly. I also have some masturbation problems... while women have never been my source of it the last time a women body part actually popped into my mind and scared me that my problem was getting worse. I know I have alot of problems. I am also one of those types of people that can make myself think something bad is happening. The more I was scared of thinking those kinds of thoughts the more my brain would have them... in that case, I don't know if those thoughts were genuine or something my brain made up from my own fear of trying to not have such thoughts. I used to go to church often but recently have been distancing myself from Christians for really no reason except that going to church just makes me more repulsed at myself. Right now I am also in a relationship with a guy who is wiccan so that really doesn't help my problems any. Please help me. Until I wrote all this out I didn't realize in how bad off I really am.

I''ll just tell you when a man and a woman become one, the union is more than just sex, there is opportunity for spiritual transfer, If you are sexually active with your wiccan boyfriend you may have opened yourself up to spirits that don't have your best interest at heart.

these spirits are liars and they like to deceive people by giving them false feelings, and deceptive thoughts. they know you better than you know yourself and will try to lead you into believing a lie

stop entertaining these bisexual thoughts, your true mind is repulsed, if you allow these false feelings to gain momentum they will deceive you into believing a lie.

 

[joey_downunder]

Sometimes even when I am in church services weird thoughts come to my mind but I have learnt to recognise that they are not from me, they are to distract me from the prayers and preaching . I go straight to God and ask Him to take those thoughts and they usually disappear quickly.

With temptations this saying is a useful one to remember "you can't stop a bird flying overhead but you can stop it from nesting in your hair". Unfortunately as long as you are involved with this wiccan man it is extremely likely that these thoughts and feelings will continue. Go to God and He will give you the personal strength to break up this relationship . 1 corinthians 10:13

 

[Kyleiferous]

I don't know how old you are now, but I think problems with same sex attractions (at any level) are normal when you're in puberty as your hormones are all over the place.

I will pray for you, though I'm sure it's nothing.

 

[raven1]

I know you don't but it is a cross some have to bare. Just like some people are prone to being addicts, etc. Pray to God to deliver you from this but realize it may be this is just your cross.

 

[HeStillLovesPenguin]

Thanks to anyone that posted... I've actually broke up with my boyfriend who was Wiccan... the strange part is my problems have just gotten worse... I've been trying to not allow myself to think of myself as "bisexual" since that implies, it seems to me, that I can't do anything about it... prayers are very much welcome... I'm event too scared to hang around my female friends anymore...

 

[joey_downunder]

I see you have made that difficult decision. Well done!!

Can you view these thoughts coming to you as a mere temptation to sin just like every other person experiences in one way or another?

To use a metaphor: Picture a toddler trying to get her own way in a behaviour that Mum has let her get away with for too long. Mum has decided for sure ''enough is enough, I'm not giving in any more ever again''

Is the toddler going to go ''OK Mum said no, so I'll be quiet and good'', or ''what?? How dare you say NO to me?!!!" *holds breath, drops on floor, screams....* until she realises Mum won't give in ? The toddler will try and try again when the Mum is at her weaker moments too.

You have got it easier than that mother. When the toddler starts it up go to the Father i.e. GOD and send HIM in to deal with the toddler. And unlike human fathers God never fails, He never gives in, He is way stronger than any temptation or sin we have to battle with.

P.S. It was actually like that with my boys, they stopped crying for their Dad....

 

[Johnnz]

I don't know how old you are now, but I think problems with same sex attractions (at any level) are normal when you're in puberty as your hormones are all over the place.

I agree with this statement. It can be part of becoming sexually mature and not having fully integrated sexual values.

You made some comments that caused me to wonder about what sort of background you had. Something from there may be a factor. Maybe you would benefit from discussing them with a wise, older person. My guess is you have a combination of normal maturity and background factors that spill over into the sexual.

John
NZ

 

[jasmineh]

I know how you feel. I am sort of in the same boat. I am bisexual but don't want to be. I am attracted to a satanist and might date him bit I also do not trust males much anymore. I hope you find what you are looking for but for me my desire to get a girlfriend has become stronger. I would also appreciate help for this. Btw.I am 21 years old. Is it possible to be an ex bisexual?

 

[SuziTiri]

I know how you feel. I am sort of in the same boat. I am bisexual but don't want to be. I am attracted to a satanist and might date him bit I also do not trust males much anymore. I hope you find what you are looking for but for me my desire to get a girlfriend has become stronger. I would also appreciate help for this. Btw.I am 21 years old. Is it possible to be an ex bisexual?

yes it is....whatever direction it turns..less confusion in life is much more liberating but of course its your choice.and jasmineh.please be careful of dating a Satanist..because dating someone wholesome in heart is more loving and full of Christ's love,,,Id hate you go get hurt

and HESTILLLOVESPENGUIN: God Bless,,,my prayers too you

 

[HeStillLovesPenguin]

I'm hoping this is true. I think some of it may just stem from the fact that it wasn't until about a year ago that I actually had any type of relationship (including) a friendship with a guy... so I grew up thinking I really had no chance with one... I'm 17 so I'm still in that age range of sexual maturing so what you are saying makes sense...

 

[Johnnz]

Great. Follow up by getting to know some guys socially and learn to enjoy them. Don't see yourself as locked into behaviour you don't want. Become more positive about being normally heterosexual, rather than worrying about being bisexual. Don't entertain romantic or sexual fantasies about women. Maybe read some good material on sexuality.

John
NZ

 

[Nextstep]

I'm sorry that you're struggling over bisexuality but you are not alone and you have the power through Christ to overcome it. Good that you are honest about it and seeking solution and support for it.
Is there any childhood memory or experience that may have contributed for you to have these feelings?

 

[melissa517]

I''ll just tell you when a man and a woman become one, the union is more than just sex, there is opportunity for spiritual transfer, If you are sexually active with your wiccan boyfriend you may have opened yourself up to spirits that don't have your best interest at heart.

these spirits are liars and they like to deceive people by giving them false feelings, and deceptive thoughts. they know you better than you know yourself and will try to lead you into believing a lie

stop entertaining these bisexual thoughts, your true mind is repulsed, if you allow these false feelings to gain momentum they will deceive you into believing a lie.

Hello,
I was and am hoping that you could help me, I have the same problem as this person in this thread, I've always wanted a GOD loving husband and have children with him and fantasizing about him helping me in my walk with Christ (nothing lustful). I am confused because I have these thoughts which are disgusting about other girls and them doing things to me which I GREATLY detest!. But at one point started to do research upon these things the psychiatrists said that if you feel desires or fantasizing about the same sex you're either bi or homo, before I was happy knowing that these thoughts disgusted me but now I start to ask myself did I like it? And then my feelings start that I did but when I really think about it I feel like throwing up. I am a devout Christian unsure of my faith now because I feel like I'm bi and this scares me that maybe I was never saved and all my dreams of serving GOD are crushed because of it. You gave me some relief when you said that spirits can put false feelings, please do you think that this is the case with me?

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

There are other issues too that can create feelings of wanting to connect with the same gender. A dysfunctional family where our needs were not met, such as a mother's love, or someone who was traumatized through abuse who never wants to be with a man/woman for fear of the abuse so a same sex choice is the safest.

Spiritually it can be a challenge because our emotional needs can interfere with our spiritual beliefs. Sometimes when asking the wrong people, those people can validate our desires, but we avoid the people who will encourage us to be strong.

I struggled in a similar area myself, and making the choice to act on my desires impacted my relationship with Christ in a negative way. I went far from Him... but as always He rescues and restores me.

 

[Johnnz]

Sexual fantasies are quite common for single people as they enter adolescence. But that is what they are, concepts and dreams about as a not yet known experience. Social factors can play a strong role in this as well as hormones. Where there is no open discussion of sexuality other than sexual morality, or an environment where information and open discussion seldom take place in sufficient depth, some confusion, uncertainty and guilt can arise.

Do you think you have a really good understanding of healthy teenage sexuality?

John
NZ

 

[Dave-W]

Hello,
I was and am hoping that you could help me, I have the same problem as this person in this thread, I've always wanted a GOD loving husband and have children with him and fantasizing about him helping me in my walk with Christ (nothing lustful). I am confused because I have these thoughts which are disgusting about other girls and them doing things to me which I GREATLY detest!. But at one point started to do research upon these things the psychiatrists said that if you feel desires or fantasizing about the same sex you're either bi or homo, before I was happy knowing that these thoughts disgusted me but now I start to ask myself did I like it? And then my feelings start that I did but when I really think about it I feel like throwing up. I am a devout Christian unsure of my faith now because I feel like I'm bi and this scares me that maybe I was never saved and all my dreams of serving GOD are crushed because of it. You gave me some relief when you said that spirits can put false feelings, please do you think that this is the case with me?

In one of their early books John and Paula Sanford describe SSA (same sex attraction) as a magnetism that somehow got its polarity reversed. I would count that as a product of the fall - the same as contracting cancer or some other dread disease or being born with a birth defect.

Tell me - if you got cancer would it make you doubt your salvation? No? Then neither should this. Just keep praying and studying your bible. When those other thoughts come, rather than getting disgusted (which could lead to ALL sexuality becoming disgusting) just tell the devil he is a liar, and that Jesus has the right husband for you in His time.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

 

[grandvizier1006]

I thought I was bisexual for a long time! So I know how you feel. I eventually realized I was just confused and growing up at a terrible era--the present. continue to serve God and never forget that He controls your life, not your sexuality.