I don't want to be alone

[gennypearl]

Don't you communicate with your family and friends?

 

[Michie]

Don't you communicate with your family and friends?

He says he has no friends.

 

[gennypearl]

He says he has no friends.

I thought he wanted to visit a friend's house. So at least there's someone.

 

[Michie]

I thought he wanted to visit a friend's house. So at least there's someone.

You’re right but it’s been 20 years.

 

[gennypearl]

With all the quarantine and stay at home stuff, maybe it will help if he reconnects with that friend somehow.

 

[the one and only zero]

I miss having friends and loved ones.

I don't want to live alone. I want to live with my parents in a big apartment. But my parents live in a country with 8 hours time difference.

Maybe living with my brother would also be kind of nice, but he lives in a far-away city (about 8 hours train ride), and we both have tiny apartments, so sleeping over is a problem. Not that my brother would want to visit me, anyway. I am the one who always needs to take the initiative with him. He does not really care about our relationship. That is why I gave up.

I would like to visit a friend's house. It has been so long since the last time I did so. Has it been about 20 years?

I even want to adopt a child to escape living alone, but that would probably be very irresponsible of me, and no one would allow that.

I would like to have a family of my own.

I would like to be like other people. But I cannot.

It's kind of sickening that instead of offering to be your friend, some of these "christians" only say "oh well, good luck in the future."

If you want a friend, I'll be your friend. I know it's not exactly what you want as far as living with someone, but I at least can be someone you can talk to and maybe I can help you feel less alone.

 

[lismore]

I miss having friends and loved ones.

Hello. Every journey begins with a small step. Say hello or smile to someone in church, get involved in a church ministry. Meeting other Christians is good because you already should have a lot in common. Don't give up, you'd be surprised at how many people have the same concerns and experiences as you do. The concerns we have are those which are common to mankind, many people will have the same experiences.

I think it's because we're in the last days, scripture promised that this would happen in the chapter 2 Timothy 3. Relationships can be tough.

God Bless You

 

[PaulCyp1]

Church is a very good place to meet some very nice people and to develop[ friendships.

 

[Yarddog]

I miss having friends and loved ones.

I don't want to live alone. I want to live with my parents in a big apartment. But my parents live in a country with 8 hours time difference.

Maybe living with my brother would also be kind of nice, but he lives in a far-away city (about 8 hours train ride), and we both have tiny apartments, so sleeping over is a problem. Not that my brother would want to visit me, anyway. I am the one who always needs to take the initiative with him. He does not really care about our relationship. That is why I gave up.

I would like to visit a friend's house. It has been so long since the last time I did so. Has it been about 20 years?

I even want to adopt a child to escape living alone, but that would probably be very irresponsible of me, and no one would allow that.

I would like to have a family of my own.

I would like to be like other people. But I cannot.

A Christian who is baptized never lives alone. God lives within them and wants to have a very close and personal relationship with us.

Seek that and you will live in peace wherever you are.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

I meant that I lack the ability to befriend people. I never get close to people. We always stay strangers.

There’s a woman in our Bible study who told us she was like you. She even pulled out for a time. But she came back and she is able now to have friends at church.

 

[Ronit]

Since I opened a thread, I guess results are important. Of course, the most effective way is to think that I have the ability to change things. That things are not the way I want, because I did things the wrong way.

But I am not perfect. I cannot stay motivated despite constant failure. I cannot stay optimistic.

It is true that complaining does not help.

But I am convinced that I cannot get what I want.

Oh don't give up! I mean you're on here right? With the rest of us. Ever since the Global Pandemic times have changed. I don't like it. It depresses me too, but God's in control right?
So it will be alright

 

[Ronit]

There’s a woman in our Bible study who told us she was like you. She even pulled out for a time. But she came back and she is able now to have friends at church.

That's really good

 

[mkdrive2]

Op... I am sorry that you are in pain. I know loneliness can cause great pain. I had a family and they grew and found families of their own. I still see them but feel like an outsider. It's not the same as when I was the mommy and the center of their universe. Now I've gone to the dogs. Lol my two mutts keep me company. Plus I have my memories.
I hope and pray that one day you will have a family of your own .

Thank you for your reply! I feel like you are one of the few people who understand me. I never thought about raising a dog. It seems too difficult for me.

 

[BibleBeliever1611]

Church is a very good place to meet some very nice people and to develop[ friendships.

Well, good luck finding a good church outside of US. My country only has Catholic-style Lutheran churches. I would never want to visit those.

 

[Neostarwcc]

I miss having friends and loved ones.

I don't want to live alone. I want to live with my parents in a big apartment. But my parents live in a country with 8 hours time difference.

Maybe living with my brother would also be kind of nice, but he lives in a far-away city (about 8 hours train ride), and we both have tiny apartments, so sleeping over is a problem. Not that my brother would want to visit me, anyway. I am the one who always needs to take the initiative with him. He does not really care about our relationship. That is why I gave up.

I would like to visit a friend's house. It has been so long since the last time I did so. Has it been about 20 years?

I even want to adopt a child to escape living alone, but that would probably be very irresponsible of me, and no one would allow that.

I would like to have a family of my own.

I would like to be like other people. But I cannot.

I know what that's like. While I lived with my parents for the first 27 years of my life I mostly lived those years alone. My childhood days from birth until age seven I had all kinds of friends and was a very happy and sociable Canadian child who loved to meet everyone. When I was about seven and a half my parents moved to the states and I've been depressed and isolated ever since. I lived with my parents after I graduated high school until I finally decided to move out when I was almost 30 years old. But my 12 or so years with my parents I lived as if my parents never existed and I lived in complete isolation from my parents in front of a computer I would only really come out of my room for meal times (which my father mostly made). When I finally moved out I spent the first 2-3 years of my "bachelorhood" completely isolated as well. My mother would occasionally take me to lunch on her lunch break but for the most part I was alone. Then I came to Christ (or rather God came to me) in November of 2013. That winter in the first week of Feburary I met my wife online on another message board. 5 months later we got engaged and a year later we were married all in the eyes and sight of God at Gods perfect timing. In July (I cant remember exactly what day! I'm going to be in soooooo much doo-doo! Lol) of this year it will be our 5th anniversary and it feels like I've been dating and married to my wife for my whole life (which is impossible she was born in 1992 and I was born in 1986) but what I learned over the years was when I was crying about moving to the states (I found out when I was six but we moved a year and a half later) my wife was born. She was Gods plan and final redemption for my loneliness. I just couldnt see it for over 27 years.

Sure I had online friends but during all my years of isolation but I considered them "not the same." If there's one thing God has taught me over the years it's this. While I've lived in isolation from the world for all those years I was never truly alone. He gave me loving parents, a sister, 2 nieces, a wife, and now so many online friends that I cannot possibly keep track of them all and talk to them all at once. God has to tell me which friend to spend time with and hang out with on which day. I was never alone and I will never BE alone. I have one physical person that I talk to and spend time with everyday (my wife Although most of the time we talk online) and I have countless online friends both Christian and not Chrisgian that hes blessed me with over the years. I was NEVER alone nor will I ever BE alone. Even if it's in Gods plan for me to remain isolated. I can still fellowship with other Christian's, debate theology, bear fruit, and spread the gospel all inside of my own home.

That's something to consider. Has God ever blessed you with friends or people in your isolation? Of course he has. You posted a topic and fellow Christians are reaching out to you offering to be your friend. If you want I will more than happily be your friend. I know its not the "same" but sometimes that's what God gives to us. God might flood you with irl friends someday or he might flood you with online friends. Either or, they're the same thing. God is giving you fellowship that can build long lasting relationships in the next life. We will ALL recognize each other in the next life. Even if we've never met. I'll be sure to be one of the first people to greet you and to greet all of CF who are not only my friends but are my family. We are ALL a part of Gods family.

 

[Tolworth John]

would like to visit a friend's house. It has been so long since the last time I did so. Has it been about 20 years?

People do not stay away from me because of some attitude I have.

try to get a therapist, but something always comes up, and I am unable to do therapy. Yes, maybe I will try to find one again.

You haven't visited another House for 20 years, you have an attitude that puts people off and when you arrange to get help because " something " happens you don't go.
Yet you do not want to be on your own.


Seriously you need to make sorting out this " attitude " your no one priority.
I don't know what it is or how it affects other people, but if you want to make friends, find a wife etc etc etc you have to do something.

Do you belong to a Church, and when things are normal, do you attend every week?

Do you work? Again when things are normal do you join in socialising with your work mates?

Do you have any hobbies, do you meet up with others for that hobby?

These are all places where you can meet and talk with people and build up friendships.

Yes sometimes one has to do All the contact making, to make and keep a friendship.

 

[Consolation]

Hi mkdrive2,

Like the one and only zero I'm here to offer you friendship; as best I can online anyway. Feel free to say hullo anytime and I’ll get back to you when I'm around. Please hang in there as I've been where you are also.

After my divorce I found many Christians callous and at times, even cruel, and so didn’t fellowship for some time. From my time away I found my relationship with God strengthened and came to realise that there were many false Christians out there. This was reinforced when my Senior Pastor from that time was yrs later convicted as a paedophile. Much to my amazement, some Christians told me that this pastor was still a “Great Man of God” despite being convicted in a court of law for being a life-long paedophile and showing no evidence of genuine repentance.

I now ignore people I consider to be modern-day Pharisees and pray for them. Ignore people who claim to be Christians who do not bear the Fruit of the Spirit; you answer to God for your life and not them.

Remember:
“…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

If they do not bear this fruit they are in sin and need to repent.


Blessings To You.....Consolation
“The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal.”
— C.S. Lewis “The Weight of Glory” (1949)

 

[mkdrive2]

@the one and only zero @Consolation Thank you both for the offer, but I am not looking for online friends. I already have a few, but they don't fill the void I feel...

you have an attitude that puts people off

I admit that I was not happy about some posts here, and that might have resulted in me to "have an attitude that puts people off" here in this forum. I feel like, every time I talk about my loneliness I have to convince people that befriending people is more difficult for me than other people. Most people cannot understand people like me. There are not many people who are as unsociable as me. Their optimism is based on their past successes. To be honest, I am not interested in those people's opinion. I am more interested in the opinion of people who are as lonely as I am right now. To people who have gained friends and partners through effort, I congratulate you. You are free to write about your successes, but do not be too sure about the same thing being possible for me, too.

 

[Consolation]

All good. Take care and I will pray for you still. We all have our own individual journeys and no one has the right to judge you!

 

[baryogenesis]

The OP seems (this is only a student's opinion) to present several of the requirements for a Dx of clinical depression. (Though an actual Dx can only be given by a physician.)

If the problem is along the lines of MDD then many may not fully understand why your motivation is so low -- that you might feel as if it has drained from you, and effort toward even that which you know will be of benefit to you can feel like scaling Mt. Everest.

Are there days when you feel better or more motivated than other days? Any standouts, or does it mainly feel the same every day? You mentioned that you are NOT an introvert. Though you do not (cannot?) make new friends or leave your apartment much if at all, even when you would like to visit others. What is it about yourself that lets you know you are not an introvert, in your opinion? I do not doubt your assessment of yourself, just trying to understand your point of view a little better.

If your brother were more accessible to you, would you go to visit him? And would that be to catch up and enjoy a visit with him, or would it be more to leave where you are, to live with him, so that you no longer live alone (feel alone)? Does the way you feel make it seem that you would prefer the company of someone very familiar (like your brother) rather than someone newer in your life, if you were able to connect with a new... let's say... acquaintance/potential friendship? (For some, a "friend" is more than just a person you know and get along with. C.f. "philia," "storgē," etc.)