I don't like the churches where I live. What do I do?

[jinc1019]

Hello. I moved to a new area about a year ago. It's a town of about 50,000, with another 70,000 town neighboring us. The area is very liberal, both politically and theologically, and I am not. Although there are many churches here, in terms of number, nearly all of the churches with relatively moderate or high attendance (more than, say, 70 people on Sunday), are either very liberal or are theologically aligned with Evangelicalism--by that, I mean pop Christian rock music, very low view of the Lord's Supper and Baptism, etc. There's also one large Roman Catholic Church, but I'm not Catholic.

There are some traditional denominational churches in town -- Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Anglican -- but all of these churches are very, very small. Some only have 15 people. Nearly all of them have a very old demographic (70 seems to be the average age at these congregations). I wouldn't care too much about that, except I have a child and I would like her to be able to make friends at church, an impossibility if there aren't any children around.

A church I would feel most comfortable in -- a more traditional Protestant church with a younger demographic -- doesn't exist. I either have to go to a progressive church, a very small, aging traditional Protestant church, or an Evangelical church where many of my theological views won't be taught.

Needless to say, I'm not excited about any of these options. What do you think I should do? (And no, moving is not an option at this time.)

 

[RileyG]

How would you describe your theology? Perhaps call a pastor and discuss it with them.

Blessings

edit: As in are you Wesleyan, Episcopal, Reformed, etc?

 

[jinc1019]

How would you describe your theology? Perhaps call a pastor and discuss it with them.

Blessings

edit: As in are you Wesleyan, Episcopal, Reformed, etc?

My theology most likely aligns with conservative Anglicanism, Presbyterianism, and Reformed Baptist, but I'd be open to Lutheranism or a conservative Methodist church, if the other options weren't available.

 

[RileyG]

My theology most likely aligns with conservative Anglicanism, Presbyterianism, and Reformed Baptist, but I'd be open to Lutheranism or a conservative Methodist church, if the other options weren't available.

I would speak with a conservative pastor if possible. Perhaps attend a conservative Methodist or Presbyterian congregation.

 

[seeking.IAM]

I am in a somewhat similar situation. I moved to a new area with 5 Episcopal churches pretty much equi-distant from my house, all within 25 minutes drive time. None of them compare to the one I moved away from. My advice is to visit as many as you can and choose the best among them.

 

[Neogaia777]

Hello. I moved to a new area about a year ago. It's a town of about 50,000, with another 70,000 town neighboring us. The area is very liberal, both politically and theologically, and I am not. Although there are many churches here, in terms of number, nearly all of the churches with relatively moderate or high attendance (more than, say, 70 people on Sunday), are either very liberal or are theologically aligned with Evangelicalism--by that, I mean pop Christian rock music, very low view of the Lord's Supper and Baptism, etc. There's also one large Roman Catholic Church, but I'm not Catholic.

There are some traditional denominational churches in town -- Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Anglican -- but all of these churches are very, very small. Some only have 15 people. Nearly all of them have a very old demographic (70 seems to be the average age at these congregations). I wouldn't care too much about that, except I have a child and I would like her to be able to make friends at church, an impossibility if there aren't any children around.

A church I would feel most comfortable in -- a more traditional Protestant church with a younger demographic -- doesn't exist. I either have to go to a progressive church, a very small, aging traditional Protestant church, or an Evangelical church where many of my theological views won't be taught.

Needless to say, I'm not excited about any of these options. What do you think I should do? (And no, moving is not an option at this time.)

Why do you want to go to a church, and why do you feel it's important?

And by that I mean, what is your real true reason or purpose for being there or going there?

Because if you don't know that, or can't get that right first, then you might as well not go to any at all.

And if you could truly answer this correctly, then the much more trivial things/matters you are right now complaining about right now, might not bother you that much at all.

I would just simply settle for one where I feel welcome right now, etc.

And by that, I don't mean a bunch of fanfare at my arrival either, but just simply one where I don't feel like I'm being pushed out, etc.

You'd be shocked at just how hard that is to find, etc.

God Bless.

 

[jinc1019]

I am in a somewhat similar situation. I moved to a new area with 5 Episcopal churches pretty much equi-distant from my house, all within 25 minutes drive time. None of them compare to the one I moved away from. My advice is to visit as many as you can and choose the best among them.

Thanks for the advice. I have visited many already, and some are better than others, but generally, none are anywhere near as good as what I am used to.

 

[tturt]

Would asks the Lord which one He wants me to attend.

 

[jinc1019]

Why do you want to go to a church, and why do you feel it's important?

And by that I mean, what is your real true reason or purpose for being there or going there?

Because if you don't know that, or can't get that right first, then you might as well not go to any at all.

And if you could truly answer this correctly, then the much more trivial things/matters you are right now complaining about right now, might not bother you that much at all.

I would just simply settle for one where I feel welcome right now, etc.

And by that, I don't mean a bunch of fanfare at my arrival either, but just simply one where I don't feel like I'm being pushed out, etc.

You'd be shocked at just how hard that is to find, etc.

God Bless.

Thanks for the question. I am, generally speaking, an introverted person who doesn't crave community. I want to go to church to worship God, and to do so appropriately. I also go to church to hear the Word, partake of the sacraments, and grow in knowledge and faith. I want my daughter to experience the same, of course. I definitely don't want any "fanfare." I would prefer none at all. But theology is important to me, and it seems that where I live, the churches with which I agree theologically the most are the ones with small, aging communities, making it hard for my daughter. The places with which I align the least are the ones that seem to have the most vibrant church congregations and children's ministries.

 

[jinc1019]

Would asks the Lord which one He wants me to attend.

Thanks. I have done that many, many times. I have yet to hear a clear answer, unfortunately.

 

[tturt]

That's really good that you've asks. Would attend a few & asks for the Lord to guide me.

btw, my husband & I have been in this situation.

 

[Neogaia777]

Thanks for the question. I am, generally speaking, an introverted person who doesn't crave community. I want to go to church to worship God, and to do so appropriately. I also go to church to hear the Word, partake of the sacraments, and grow in knowledge and faith. I want my daughter to experience the same, of course. I definitely don't want any "fanfare." I would prefer none at all. But theology is important to me, and it seems that where I live, the churches with which I agree theologically the most are the ones with small, aging communities, making it hard for my daughter. The places with which I align the least are the ones that seem to have the most vibrant church congregations and children's ministries.

Sorry for my abrubtness and attitude.

I also forgot you have a daughter with you also.

Your reasons sound sound.

I wish you luck finding one.

God Bless.

 

[BobRyan]

Hello. I moved to a new area about a year ago. It's a town of about 50,000, with another 70,000 town neighboring us. The area is very liberal, both politically and theologically, and I am not. Although there are many churches here, in terms of number, nearly all of the churches with relatively moderate or high attendance (more than, say, 70 people on Sunday), are either very liberal or are theologically aligned with Evangelicalism--by that, I mean pop Christian rock music, very low view of the Lord's Supper and Baptism, etc. There's also one large Roman Catholic Church, but I'm not Catholic.

There are some traditional denominational churches in town -- Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Anglican -- but all of these churches are very, very small. Some only have 15 people. Nearly all of them have a very old demographic (70 seems to be the average age at these congregations). I wouldn't care too much about that, except I have a child and I would like her to be able to make friends at church, an impossibility if there aren't any children around.

A church I would feel most comfortable in -- a more traditional Protestant church with a younger demographic -- doesn't exist. I either have to go to a progressive church, a very small, aging traditional Protestant church, or an Evangelical church where many of my theological views won't be taught.

Needless to say, I'm not excited about any of these options. What do you think I should do? (And no, moving is not an option at this time.)

I hear what you are saying and see the problem - as you have stated it.

But you are probably asking the wrong question even though you are identifying a real problem.

The real question is not "where do you feel good given all of your preferences" the real question is - where can you find accurate Bible teaching and to know that - you need to know what the Bible teaches.

I assume from your question - that you know the Gospel basics - that all have sinned and that Christ died for "our sins and not for our sins only but for the sins of the whole world" 1 John 2:2. So then you have actually read the New Covenant in Heb 8:6-12 very very carefully ,,, in detail,,, every detail... and are a New Covenant Christian. And you are aware that the New Covenant is Old Testament - Jer 31:31-34 quoted verbatim in Heb 8.

So then given that as the background/context - I suggest you read and re-read Matt 24 -- Christ's laser focused sermon directed at Christians living in our time telling us what we need to be looking for, what we need to be aware of, what it is that is going to snooker all of mankind in the case of those who don't read their bibles or pay attention to the teaching of Christ for people in our day.

Matt 24 has this very sobering statement in it."

"37 But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 38 For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, 39 and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.

Those verses tell us that they were living a normal life -- paying no attention to the warnings God had sent for their time - and "did not know" until the flood came and took them all away - that they were in grave danger.

What church in your area is awake enough to know that this is super important and that all Christians need to sit up and pay attention to what He is saying on this point?

Notice that Christ said it will be just as it was in Noah's day. In Gen 6 the entire world is destroyed ,,, not just the wicked descendants of Cain - but ALSO all the good people in Seth's line except for 8 people (6 of the 8 only come about because Noah had 3 sons). That means "it was the good guys" that failed as Genesis 6 shows us -- not just that Cain's people "were bad".

IN Matt 24:37-39 the main take-away in Jesus sermon at that point -- is "what you don't know can kill you". At least that is what he points at in his statement.

 

[InChristAlone525]

My husband and I are looking for a church, but not specifically a building because 'church' isn't a building, Jesus tore down the Temple and now WE are the body of Christ. We follow a ministry called church without walls international and are looking for people to do church in our home here in the Tampa Bay area.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Hello. I moved to a new area about a year ago. It's a town of about 50,000, with another 70,000 town neighboring us. The area is very liberal, both politically and theologically, and I am not. Although there are many churches here, in terms of number, nearly all of the churches with relatively moderate or high attendance (more than, say, 70 people on Sunday), are either very liberal or are theologically aligned with Evangelicalism--by that, I mean pop Christian rock music, very low view of the Lord's Supper and Baptism, etc. There's also one large Roman Catholic Church, but I'm not Catholic.

There are some traditional denominational churches in town -- Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Anglican -- but all of these churches are very, very small. Some only have 15 people. Nearly all of them have a very old demographic (70 seems to be the average age at these congregations). I wouldn't care too much about that, except I have a child and I would like her to be able to make friends at church, an impossibility if there aren't any children around.

A church I would feel most comfortable in -- a more traditional Protestant church with a younger demographic -- doesn't exist. I either have to go to a progressive church, a very small, aging traditional Protestant church, or an Evangelical church where many of my theological views won't be taught.

Needless to say, I'm not excited about any of these options. What do you think I should do? (And no, moving is not an option at this time.)

You seem to have checked them all out and found them lacking. Except for the one you wrote off without checking out, the Catholic one. Might you dare try that one?

 

[la Son]

Hello. I moved to a new area about a year ago. It's a town of about 50,000, with another 70,000 town neighboring us. The area is very liberal, both politically and theologically, and I am not. Although there are many churches here, in terms of number, nearly all of the churches with relatively moderate or high attendance (more than, say, 70 people on Sunday), are either very liberal or are theologically aligned with Evangelicalism--by that, I mean pop Christian rock music, very low view of the Lord's Supper and Baptism, etc. There's also one large Roman Catholic Church, but I'm not Catholic.

There are some traditional denominational churches in town -- Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Anglican -- but all of these churches are very, very small. Some only have 15 people. Nearly all of them have a very old demographic (70 seems to be the average age at these congregations). I wouldn't care too much about that, except I have a child and I would like her to be able to make friends at church, an impossibility if there aren't any children around.

A church I would feel most comfortable in -- a more traditional Protestant church with a younger demographic -- doesn't exist. I either have to go to a progressive church, a very small, aging traditional Protestant church, or an Evangelical church where many of my theological views won't be taught.

Needless to say, I'm not excited about any of these options. What do you think I should do? (And no, moving is not an option at this time.)

You sound very distressed being apart from what you know, my heart goes out for your peace friend.
By the way you speak, I'm assuming you were born into a a church family and aligning yourself with people of like minded thinking is what you look for in people at at a church and knowing that gives you comfort being there and things in kind to discuss.
If I'm wrong forgive me.
Anyways, the church you attended prior to your move, what type of events were they holding and you were attending to partake in? I'm just asking to see what your used to having and need to replace.
Did you make new friends at your old church that you went and did things with over time or were relationships made there pretty much only existing there?
Before you moved how much prayer did you invest in God to be sure moving away from your church was the right move?
DI'd you fast in combination with prayer? Was it prayer or petitions? both?
Have you still been tithing the old church until you find another?
Since you've moved have you found ways to invest in the community with selfless acts of kindness giving if yourself so alms are satisfied?
I apologize for all the questions but all of them are important to any Christian to know are being satisfied to be in good standing with the church and God
I'm not of that system though I tried to be many times. You have the issue of not finding a church that matches your needs of people of like and mine was having all these churches around me with people in them who were alike but didnt have any answers to my questions as I tried to grow closer to God understanding the Bible.
Eeveryone was alike and fine being agreed that they were already satisfied where they are at.
And that's ok by me as we all have our needs of the church.
Im saying I understand your loss it's tough.
Maybe try to supplement your lacking by working direct with God yourself.
Open the good book and dive in and see where he takes ya
Look for Livestream feeds from church bodies of your liking for now until your situated. I'm sure there are some somewhere out of the 380k+ churches here in the US
we certainly aren't lacking buildings and people in them...

 

[com7fy8]

We need to pray about this, too.

Possibly, you need to not let your present personality decide what is right for you. Because Jesus changes us so we can submit to God in His peace and be guided by Him, all the time; plus, Jesus changes us so we can love any and all people. He expects us to love the people wherever we go, even if we are only visiting.

And possibly you will discover who are real Christians, and you can share with these people. Where these are could be where you need to be, whether the church formally matches with your ideas or not > still, there could be really Christian people somewhere and they even know the church formally is not with it, but there is where they minister and reach people.

 

[jinc1019]

I hear what you are saying and see the problem - as you have stated it.

But you are probably asking the wrong question even though you are identifying a real problem.

The real question is not "where do you feel good given all of your preferences" the real question is - where can you find accurate Bible teaching and to know that - you need to know what the Bible teaches.

I assume from your question - that you know the Gospel basics - that all have sinned and that Christ died for "our sins and not for our sins only but for the sins of the whole world" 1 John 2:2. So then you have actually read the New Covenant in Heb 8:6-12 very very carefully ,,, in detail,,, every detail... and are a New Covenant Christian. And you are aware that the New Covenant is Old Testament - Jer 31:31-34 quoted verbatim in Heb 8.

So then given that as the background/context - I suggest you read and re-read Matt 24 -- Christ's laser focused sermon directed at Christians living in our time telling us what we need to be looking for, what we need to be aware of, what it is that is going to snooker all of mankind in the case of those who don't read their bibles or pay attention to the teaching of Christ for people in our day.

Matt 24 has this very sobering statement in it."

"37 But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 38 For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, 39 and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.

Those verses tell us that they were living a normal life -- paying no attention to the warnings God had sent for their time - and "did not know" until the flood came and took them all away - that they were in grave danger.

What church in your area is awake enough to know that this is super important and that all Christians need to sit up and pay attention to what He is saying on this point?

Notice that Christ said it will be just as it was in Noah's day. In Gen 6 the entire world is destroyed ,,, not just the wicked descendants of Cain - but ALSO all the good people in Seth's line except for 8 people (6 of the 8 only come about because Noah had 3 sons). That means "it was the good guys" that failed as Genesis 6 shows us -- not just that Cain's people "were bad".

IN Matt 24:37-39 the main take-away in Jesus sermon at that point -- is "what you don't know can kill you". At least that is what he points at in his statement.

Thanks for your suggestion. I will think about this more, but I think there are probably multiple churches in the area that meet your qualification.

 

[jinc1019]

You seem to have checked them all out and found them lacking. Except for the one you wrote off without checking out, the Catholic one. Might you dare try that one?

I didn't write off the Catholic church. I was raised in the Catholic church and attended for many years.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I didn't write off the Catholic church. I was raised in the Catholic church and attended for many years.

.