I dont know what to do with my terrible 2

[benedictaoo]

You just have to be committed to the process and be consistent and it will work but it takes the parents to be self disciplined as well.

We have to teach ourselves before we can teach the children. We have to be self controlled, self disciplined people and stop reacting and handling conflicts with anger or violence ourselves.

it's basic, monkey see, monkey do.

 

[CruciFixed]

oh wow... i would be so freaked out. all they took was a camera?

No they broke in the door, took all my brother in laws RC cars and then left the house intact.

It wasn't a real break in.
My brother in law is an idiot and he thinks he's got it all figured out. We know who faked the break in. He wants my father in law to file a claim on his "missing" cars so he can get insurance money.

When Ifirst came home it looked like a real break in. Then we noticed that the 37" HD TV in the livingroom wasn't stolen and our computers were all still here.

I'm not scared. I am just more motivated to move out. I can't move any faster than I have the accommodations to do so. As soon as I have the money I'm haulin heiney.

Shannon, I think they think we're just nuts... lol

Brikkz,

seriously check out this link. It gives a good number of pages you can read on line, including why spanking and shouting is counter productive.

It is an inexpensive book and very practical in telling you exactly what to do in tough situations.


Amazon.com: Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems (9780743228541): Jerry L. Wyckoff, Barbara C. Unell: Books

I'll look at it. I actually was going to go to Barnes and Noble today to pick out a few parenting books. I really hope you all don't think I'm a big idiot who should have never procreated because I already feel that way having others give me advice when I should just know it.

Some of the little things we can do is so simple, it's ridiculous but they really work.

When you want him to pay attention when you are talking to him, look him in the face and just say, "touch my nose..." as you point to your own nose and that is how you get eye contact from him and it captures his attention. After a while, just saying, Hey, touch my nose, when you need to correct him, he will know, I need to stop and stop on his own.

Kids that young and who are distractible and boys especially, when they are playing can't really multi-task and are one tracked minded, so when you are trying to communicate with them, saying, "touch my nose" and having them stop and touch your nose, gets them to stop what they're doing and focus on what you have to say.

It's simple but works wonders and if you have a child who is not good with eye contract, you are also teaching them to look people in the eye when talking to them.

I am SO Going to try the touch my nose thing!

That's awesome!! Try to remember --that learning takes time.. YOu and he will both need a little bit of time to get the hang of things! And every now and tne you might have a bad night or he might have a bad night---try to look at those for what they are--isolated bad nigts that everyone has--not a sign that things aren't "working". Try to look for the overall trend in how things are going. HOnestly though, I think if you stick with this you should see massive, incredible improvements in two or three weeks.

I realize it takes time I guess I am just using this thread to vent and document. I think if I can have this to look back on as things progress I will see the progression and it will be a reality but the fact that last night went by more smoothly than any night in the past year is already important to me. It helps a lot and y'all don't see the half of how helpful this has been.

You just have to be committed to the process and be consistent and it will work but it takes the parents to be self disciplined as well.

We have to teach ourselves before we can teach the children. We have to be self controlled, self disciplined people and stop reacting and handling conflicts with anger or violence ourselves.

it's basic, monkey see, monkey do.

Yep, I agree and I am trying. I have to go back through the thread and print some of the advice out.

 

[benedictaoo]

If his behaviour improves, maybe hubby will be more on board to implement these things when he's home alone with the children.

Try to pay attention also to the baby. Get a good handle on this style of parenting so you don't run into the same problems when the baby gets to be 2.

and wow... sound like fun in laws. Try to get your camera back.

 

[Anygma]

I'll look at it. I actually was going to go to Barnes and Noble today to pick out a few parenting books. I really hope you all don't think I'm a big idiot who should have never procreated because I already feel that way having others give me advice when I should just know it.

i don't think you are an idiot, quite the opposite for being able to apply new methods and see results so quickly. raising kids is not self evident, we have to draw from our personal experience on how to deal with things and when we find our experience is lacking in some ways, it is very wise to seek advices and new resources. i know you are doing the best you can and the desire to do better says a lot. Parenting is a learning experience for each child we have.

i'm still working to change those same things here and tonight have been very challenging here. *deep breath*

i only started this post around 3 or 4 pm and i haven't been able to sit long enough to hit the submit button yet around 7:18 and i know it's gonna be tough to get them in bed on time... only 12 minutes left and daughter is not showered yet.

 

[CruciFixed]

I just sat down again, too. I wanted to say we think we might have a temporary solution for housing since its obviously not safe to live with a maniac and there's a list a mile long of things wrong with this house that are hazardous. We won't know if we're going to try it until we think it over.

We're going to move south in March-ish but for now we have to have somewhere to live that's not HERE and we think on our income and a place that doesn't require a lease.....we might have an idea.

 

[Anygma]

I just sat down again, too. I wanted to say we think we might have a temporary solution for housing since its obviously not safe to live with a maniac and there's a list a mile long of things wrong with this house that are hazardous. We won't know if we're going to try it until we think it over.

We're going to move south in March-ish but for now we have to have somewhere to live that's not HERE and we think on our income and a place that doesn't require a lease.....we might have an idea.

will pray that you find the right arrangement for your family and can move sooner then later

 

[CruciFixed]

I found a place renting 2 bdrm suites for 350 per month. Maybe we can do that until we can go south.

My head hurts though. I need to go lie down.
My dear sweet son got into the butter earlier and smeared it across a dining room chair like he was painting when I had my back turned.
I was able to handle it without screaming and freaking out though.
I have to get him in bed and put away tonight's dinner then I can lie down too.

 

[Anygma]

I found a place renting 2 bdrm suites for 350 per month. Maybe we can do that until we can go south.

My head hurts though. I need to go lie down.
My dear sweet son got into the butter earlier and smeared it across a dining room chair like he was painting when I had my back turned.
I was able to handle it without screaming and freaking out though.
I have to get him in bed and put away tonight's dinner then I can lie down too.

sounds like a good deal, hope the place suits you

oh butter! hehe, don't i know the smearing of stuff too much. my son has a sensory tactile thing with food. he gets his hands in it and then smear his hands on and under the table all the time but random smearing of stuff seems to always happen when we have our back turned for a few seconds. sounds like you handled it like a pro

 

[CruciFixed]

Ahh poo I didn't go down myself. He went down like a pro tonight. We had a few minutes worth of him wanting to fight but he's asleep right now at 10:22 instead of at 1:55 or something.

 

[2WhomShallWeGo]

"Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh."
Sometimes Adventures are more fun in hindsight, and not at all at the time.

 

[benedictaoo]

Ahh poo I didn't go down myself. He went down like a pro tonight. We had a few minutes worth of him wanting to fight but he's asleep right now at 10:22 instead of at 1:55 or something.

Great news! See, routien and boundries work, but only if you work it.

You just can not let a child do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it... he will never thrive in that kind of enviorment or having that kind of power at age 2.

 

[benedictaoo]

I found a place renting 2 bdrm suites for 350 per month. Maybe we can do that until we can go south.

My head hurts though. I need to go lie down.
My dear sweet son got into the butter earlier and smeared it across a dining room chair like he was painting when I had my back turned.
I was able to handle it without screaming and freaking out though.
I have to get him in bed and put away tonight's dinner then I can lie down too.

oh my gosh-- my son did that too! The one son painted the refrige with yelllow mustard one time, and the other would play with butter and even ham... I know you know what Chisesi's ham is, lol. He would play with the sliced Chisesi's ham.

He is defiunalty seeing out sensory input. He is not being bad.

Does he like to put odd things in his mouth too?

What you need to do is give him tons of different input through out the day... dry beans and rice, just let him put his hands in a large bowl of it and play hiding his cars, etc.

Play doh is very therputic...

Finger Paint is too. That is why pre schoolers use it in school.

Shaving cream is great and it also will clean what ever you use it on. Have him trace numbers and spell his name in the shaving cream.

He is letting you know what he needs.

What you do is turn the activites into a learning game or productive play... make letters or numbers with the play doh- making play doh people, or create a game finding the hiden toys in the beans and rice. What ever your imangination can come up with.

If you are able, have good heath care, etc... see if you can get him in for occupational thearpy for sesory intergration.

You can also call the early intervention program or department of your school board and see what they have to offer.

 

[CruciFixed]

Countdown Timer

I found this. At the end he likes to watch the timer get to all zeros so if there's time I let him do that.

 

[SolomonVII]

The good thing is, that before this thread finally winds down, your terrible two will have grown into a terrific three and the problem will have been solved.


and since that is the onlyeven remotely useful thing that I have to add to the subject, mostly this is just me popping in to say hi.

Enjoy the moments while you can. The harder that it is, the more you will miss it like crazy once it occurs to you that these moments are a thing in the past.

And the worse thing is, that terrible two won't even remember what it was like.

That is sort of bittersweet isn't it. These first few years when the care is the hardest, and the love is the most intense and intimate, the memories will be yours and yours alone.

It has been a while now for me. No good advise, just some reminenscing...

 

[benedictaoo]

Brikkz,

here another tip... "Get by my feet..." Instead of just , "come here" or "come here to me".

Funneling the words down to specifically what you want from him is very helpful.

When you are out and he doesn't want to stay by you or hold your hand, say, "get by my feet" and point down to your feet.

 

[Anygma]

The good thing is, that before this thread finally winds down, your terrible two will have grown into a terrific three and the problem will have been solved.

someone should tell my 7 years old that the terrible twos are over. even my 5 years old still has issues that the school has trouble with. then again, my son is not neurologically typical *shrug* one day at a time is all i can say

 

[CruciFixed]

Brikkz,

here another tip... "Get by my feet..." Instead of just , "come here" or "come here to me".

Funneling the words down to specifically what you want from him is very helpful.

When you are out and he doesn't want to stay by you or hold your hand, say, "get by my feet" and point down to your feet.

That's a good one. Some days are harder than others. I know we will get through this. Time and patience will have to be my friends.

 

[benedictaoo]

I was reading on different sites yesterday tips on how to treat dyslexia and there's so many different ways it can manifest... and again, much of it goes back to sensory processing or the lack there of.

Parents would do themselves a huge favor by just paying attention to this when their children are infants and just give them as many different sensory experiences and input as they can... it can only help.

Just give your 2 year old and the baby many opportunities through out the day to get the sensory input he craves through productive and constructive play.

It would help his behavior greatly.

 

[CruciFixed]

I made him paint out of food coloring, shortening, and something else i forgot anyway i mixed him 3 colors of finger paint. it was really greasy to wash off of his hands but it was worth it. i put the paint out of reach so he wouldn't just grab hold it whenever he wants. i let him "paint" for a long time he loved it. we cleaned the mess up together and he told me that it was a lot of fun.

 

[_Shannon_]

I made him paint out of food coloring, shortening, and something else i forgot anyway i mixed him 3 colors of finger paint. it was really greasy to wash off of his hands but it was worth it. i put the paint out of reach so he wouldn't just grab hold it whenever he wants. i let him "paint" for a long time he loved it. we cleaned the mess up together and he told me that it was a lot of fun.