I don't know how to trust God....at all...what is wrong with me?!

[Aaron112]

why did God go through the trouble of sending his son to die on the cross and then completely abandon this world?

The enemy of truth, of Christ, says God abandoned people or the world.

The truth? God Says whoever seeks Him, and keeps seeking Him, finds Him.

 

[peter2]

Yet I am convinced that God is laughing at and mocking me just like every other person I've ever met

What if God decides at any given moment that this one guy is too disgusting to be covered by the cross?

Why do you make of God a wicked person ?
Don't you see life is victorious over death?
Don't they say humankind owns several times the atomic power to destroy Earth? It's been so since some decades, and yet Earth's still turning around sun

 

[CoreyD]

This would be a major understatement. I am basically convinced that God has a raging hatred for me and is planning to burn my worthless hide forever.

So you would think that studying the scripture ought to be enough to realize how erroneous my view of God is? Here is where it gets complicated:

I have read many outstanding articles explaining the finer details of the Bible and read works from the finest apologists, priests, pastors, etc that I could find. Their arguments made perfect logical sense....yet I don't believe a single one of them.

No matter what I read, who I talk to, or how much I try to contemplate what God says in the Gospel I can't seem to shake the overwhelming sense that not a single word of it applies to me. God is talking to those wonderful special people who simply deserve to be saved because some part of them is worth saving.

Yet I am convinced that God is laughing at and mocking me just like every other person I've ever met. I have been a total joke to everyone since the day I was born. No matter how hard I try to be moral I'm just going to mess up and all the good things I did prior to that mistake will become entirely voided. Yet the Bible says the exact opposite of this...

There is something wrong inside my brain. All I see is the darkness all around me and the total absence of good in my life. I go from failure to failure and embarrassment to embarrassment. There is not a single sign anywhere that God has a plan for my life. If somehow God decides to arbitrarily let me into heaven because Jesus said "sure why not?" I'd still be in a panic. What if God decides at any given moment that this one guy is too disgusting to be covered by the cross? Yet I know this statement is absurd...

First, I'd like to say, I am sorry about how you are feeling.

Is there anything you really like to do, which you can share on this forum?
If these questions are not too personal...
What about friends... Do you have a close friend, who listens to you?
Is your mom still alive, and in good health?

 

[CoreyD]

I think you are making a lot of assumptions here. Over the last four months I've been supporting a man who lives in a condo down the street. He used to work as a trucker and then had a stroke. The state said he had to wait 4 months before receiving his first disability check. Perhaps it was God telling me that this guy was legit or maybe it was my own intuition but perhaps we can go with the former. So I've been supporting this guy over the last four months because absolutely everyone else in the local area told the guy to shove off. He was grateful enough to offer to help in return at some future date.

That's wonderful.
This is evidence you are not just some "worthless hide", even without your job.
Do you think about this evidence at any time?

I did not feel any serenity or happiness during this period whatsoever. Only anger. I am angry that a regular working class guy can turn instantly destitute over a single freak medical accident. The state is going to continue running dry and the cost of everything will only go up. I didn't save anyone. Maybe if I invent something and become wealthy it will have a longer effect but the problems in the world will always be far far greater than my pathetic attempts at fixing them.

If you really want to understand why I have no faith it all comes from one question:

why did God go through the trouble of sending his son to die on the cross and then completely abandon this world?

Ah. I see.
This is very informative.
Thank you for sharing it.

Yes. many persons have questions that pummel them from as early as childhood, and often, the answers given do not satisfy them.

It's kind of complex, what goes on in the mind of these ones, so I am not going to play expert on this.
I do know that some have sought professional help in dealing with their feelings, and that, along with having real friendships have helped.
However, everyone is different, so what helps one, might not help the other.

I believe that God is the best person in these cases... in any case, for that matter, and he knows exactly who or what to send your way, that will help.
I cannot say that he has already done that, but I know he does not give up on us, unless we totally abandon him.
It does not look like you have done that, so there is hope... even though you feel hopeless.

I can tell you though that the "trouble" God went through, is not in vain.
That trouble started with allowing you... us, that is - mankind - to be born.
God could have scrapped humans - deciding that Adam's sin would be too costly, for the human race to survive, and have lasting peace.
Yet, God allowed Adam and Eve to live, and populate the earth.
Because of that, we have the gift of life.
Are you happy to be alive, even though you would like for things to be better?
Being alive, there is hope

The "trouble" God went through continued for nearly 6,000 years.
God had to put up with a stubborn nation, in order for the promised Messiah to come through the line of Judah.
So God patiently waited over 1,500 years, before the promised Messiah arrived.

Then God had to bear seeing his son treated with contempt - spat upon; slapped; punched; beaten with a barbed whip; hanged up to suffer and die.
God did not gone through that trouble for nothing.

He raised up his son to life.
Then he raised his son to a superior position in the heavens... giving him more authority than he had on earth.
As king of kings, the Messiah now has authority to judge the world John 5:22; Acts 17:31; raise dead ones, both righteous and unrighteous; John 5:28, 29; destroy the chief evil Genesis 3:15; Luke 8:31; Romans 16:20; restore peace to the earth, as is done in heaven Ephesians 1:10; Matthew 6:10; end sickness, suffering and death Revelation 21:2-5; 1 Corinthians 15:26
In the meantime, God is patiently waiting... giving persons an opportunity to be saved, by having the Gospel of the kingdom preached as a witness to all nations, because God does not want person to perish, but desires that they might be saved. Matthew 24:14; 1 Timothy 2:3, 4; 2 Peter 3:9

That certainly is nowhere near "completely abandon this world".
True, the world will be destroyed - not the earth - the world. 1 John 2:17 However, those who take the opportunity God made available... that of responding to the Good News of the Kingdom, these will survive, and remain forever.
That includes you.
God certainly have not given up on you... nor me... not Vladimir Putin.

 

[Dave G.]

Understanding the Gospel message, that He came to earth, died, was buried, then resurrected from the dead for the forgiveness of sin, Jesus Christ is the way the truth, and the life. If you haven't confessed that you believe that and professed it so aloud, then I suggest you start there. Come to Him/Jesus, as you are, admit you're a sinner and seek Him. This is all at the foundation of your faith. Basically it renounces Satan and makes you a child of God. Then He will work in your heart. If none of that has happened, you will get no where !

As to counseling, most don't need secular counseling, you could use some good Christian counseling. This counsels from the perspective of the scriptures.

 

[Sabertooth]

@DarkSoul999, God is completely justified (and Holy) in condemning us to Hell for eternity (and would make no apologies for doing so), but He would greatly prefer not to.
He paid an extreme price to offer us Amnesty, but we have to surrender our lives to Him for it to go into effect.

 

[Aaron112]

Earth's still turning around sun

Did the Creator once stop the earth from turning,

or does His Word say He stopped the sun ?

 

[Sabertooth]

@DarkSoul999, God is completely justified (and Holy) in condemning us to Hell for eternity (and would make no apologies for doing so), but He would greatly prefer not to.
He paid an extreme price to offer us Amnesty, but we have to surrender our lives to Him for it to go into effect.

Once you have been Born Again, get into a good church that will encourage you to grow. Isolating yourself makes you an easy target for the Devil, especially as a new believer.

I highly recommend these churches,

• Vineyard,
• Assembly of God,
• Foursquare Church

(Links above are locators.)

 

[peter2]

Did the Creator once stop the earth from turning,

or does His Word say He stopped the sun ?

Hello Aaron,
Excuse me, i don't understand what you mean

 

[Aaron112]

Hello Aaron,
Excuse me, i don't understand what you mean

Read all there is in Scripture regarding the sun and the earth.
Particularly what the Creator did for Joshua.
It is perfectly God's Word, with no spot nor wrinkle, no error.
But mankind including religious men insist on continual error.

 

[peter2]

Read all there is in Scripture regarding the sun and the earth.
Particularly what the Creator did for Joshua.
It is perfectly God's Word, with no spot nor wrinkle, no error.
But mankind including religious men insist on continual error.

Thank you, Aaron. i'll have a look

 

[Bobber]

This would be a major understatement. I am basically convinced that God has a raging hatred for me and is planning to burn my worthless hide forever.

Too bad you've chosen to embrace Satan's lie to you. Jesus said he always sought out the lost coin. To him it had great value.

So you would think that studying the scripture ought to be enough to realize how erroneous my view of God is? Here is where it gets complicated:

Yes the devil does seek to muddy the waters in people's minds as to what is crystal clear.

I have read many outstanding articles explaining the finer details of the Bible and read works from the finest apologists, priests, pastors, etc that I could find.

No need to talk about all them. You got a Bible that says God loves you. That's clear enough.

No matter what I read, who I talk to, or how much I try to contemplate what God says in the Gospel I can't seem to shake the overwhelming sense that not a single word of it applies to me.

Good news for you! Just say it does!

God is talking to those wonderful special people who simply deserve to be saved because some part of them is worth saving.

Oh I see. So you think others are wonderful special people. Perhaps if you lived with them for a month you wouldn't think they're always wonderful as you think.

Yet I am convinced that God is laughing at and mocking me just like every other person I've ever met.

Nope. Just the devil is. He's laughing at you for falling for his lies and deception .

What if God decides at any given moment that this one guy is too disgusting to be covered by the cross? Yet I know this statement is absurd...

So if you know it is then you know it is. So what else is on your mind today. Seems you're further ahead then some people in this world. Other's don't KNOW it's absurd. Glad that you do!

 

[ldonjohn]

I think you are making a lot of assumptions here. Over the last four months I've been supporting a man who lives in a condo down the street. He used to work as a trucker and then had a stroke. The state said he had to wait 4 months before receiving his first disability check. Perhaps it was God telling me that this guy was legit or maybe it was my own intuition but perhaps we can go with the former. So I've been supporting this guy over the last four months because absolutely everyone else in the local area told the guy to shove off. He was grateful enough to offer to help in return at some future date.

I did not feel any serenity or happiness during this period whatsoever. Only anger. I am angry that a regular working class guy can turn instantly destitute over a single freak medical accident. The state is going to continue running dry and the cost of everything will only go up. I didn't save anyone. Maybe if I invent something and become wealthy it will have a longer effect but the problems in the world will always be far far greater than my pathetic attempts at fixing them.

If you really want to understand why I have no faith it all comes from one question:

why did God go through the trouble of sending his son to die on the cross and then completely abandon this world?

God created a perfect world; satan corrupted it. If God had not sent His Son to die on the cross, THEN He would have abandoned this world!
Jesus' finished work on the cross is God's way of redeeming the world back to Himself.
Before we became born-again believers in Christ, we were living in the darkness of unbelief just as you are. The truth is that when we look inside ourselves our heart condemns us, but God does not condemn us; He reached out to us to save us when He sent His Son into the world to die on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins; a penalty we cannot pay.
I don't know that I can speak for every born-again child of God, but I can say for myself that before I became a "believer" I was in total spiritual darkness and had serious doubts that the bible was true or that God existed. But the thought that I might be wrong in my unbelief, that the bible might be true, and the fear of possibly spending eternity in hell, and the possibility that God IS real created a fear in me that drove me to search for the truth of the matter.
My search began with me questioning known Christians about their beliefs, reading books about the bible, reading bible tracts, etc, begging the God I wasn't sure existed to save me, and never finding any answers. It ended when I became so desperate to know God that I gave up on myself and turned to Him out of a sense of hopelessness and helplessness and doing that while still doubting His existence. I did not know what I would find, but I asked Him to show me the truth about Him and opened a bible to the Gospel of John. As I began to read John 1:1 God sent His Holy Spirit to open my blind spiritual eyes so I could see the truth in His Word. By the time I read through chapter 14 of the Gospel of John I saw that there was NOTHING I could do, nor nothing I needed to do because Jesus had already done everything God required for me to be forgiven. I found my answer; not from asking questions of men, not from reading books written by men, not from internet forums, but from God Himself. God convinced me that His Word, the Bible, is the truth, that He is real, and that Jesus took care of my sin problem, and of my heart problem at the cross. He brought me out of the darkness of unbelief into the light of His Word. I did not know about this verse at that time, but Jeremiah 29:13 says, "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." When God saw that I was seeking Him in a way that nothing else in my life mattered more that finding the truth about Him, then He led me to His Word and gave me my answer. I found peace there many years ago and still have that peace. It is a peace that is impossible to explain to anyone who has never found that peace for themselves.

Atheists call what I just described, how God himself convinced me that He is real, as circular reasoning. Some of them have told me that they have read the Bible and found nothing there to convince them of the truth that can be found there. My answer to their "circular reasoning" claim is that "I agree, it is circular reasoning. The difference is that when a person is earnestly seeking the truth about God, and searches scripture for that truth, the Holy Spirit does His work in that person's heart which allows him/her to find the truth. But, when someone reads scripture, and is not expecting to find anything there, they probably won't find anything because God's Spirit isn't involved.

Below are some of the things Jesus said about believing in Him.
Jesus said to Nicodemus in John 3:3, "except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." Jesus said in chapter 14 verse 6, "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh to the Father, but by me." He said in chapter 8 verse 24, ".....for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins." He said in chapter 6 verse 29, "....This the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent." Jesus said in John 6:44, "No man can come to me, except the Father which sent me draw him ....." and in vers45 "........every man who hath heard and hath learned of the Father, cometh to me." Finally, in verse 37 He said, "All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will no wise cast out."
Do you believe Him?

When you look inside your unbelieving heart you will only find condemnation; when you look to Jesus in faith, you will find forgiveness.

Knowing God and believing in Jesus, in His Gospel, is not about you; it is about Him.

Regards,
John