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i dont know anymore.
- Thread starter Endure2
- Start date
Endure, I have read all these posts and Do truly feel your pain. I have been where you are at more than once over the years....then I have been moved to see that when another human takes time for me in any way, that is 'God' moving.
All the warm heart responses you have received, to me, are God moving to help you and answer your 'prayers' . God IS Good. and real ..( Good..remove a O and you have God. Evil..add a D and you have Devil.. Take your pick.)
Go forward to your army life in peace andas you live each day tuned into your true inner self you will be found of your Lord.
Peace....
All the warm heart responses you have received, to me, are God moving to help you and answer your 'prayers' . God IS Good. and real ..( Good..remove a O and you have God. Evil..add a D and you have Devil.. Take your pick.)
Go forward to your army life in peace andas you live each day tuned into your true inner self you will be found of your Lord.
Peace....
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foundingrace
what isnt real?... simply his reality and his helping hand in my life.
when i turned, i wasnt mad, i wasnt angry, i was crying, becuase i was searching for him for forgiveness for sin in my life that i felt bad about, and when i couldnt find him i realised something that was dreadful to me and hurt me, that is that he simply isnt there.
that this is just something that other people believe for various reasons and is easy to get eccentric about, and draws off your desires to do whats right and be a good person in this life, but is really just a dellusion, though one that has radically changed our world for the better.
all i know is how when i reach i cant find anything except a silence that is louder than anything i ever thought i heard from him.
everytime i try to pray and find my way back to God becuase i feel terrible and in danger, its full of tears, but he hasnt answered me in anyway and everytime i pray, im more reassured that he isnt really there.
but honestly, i want this to end, thinking about my place in eternity and trying to find God and having coversations with christians about this, confuses me terribly and makes me feel awful over and over again.
i honestly dont want to have to worry about such things anymore.
someone asked about the army and how it was going,
thanks for being optimistic about this during this time of war in our nation, it is appreciated amoung the many negative things ive been told lately by people who are just trying to care for my wellbeng, concerning my decisoin to join the military.
i didnt make weight and failed the arms 1 week ago, it was actually pretty hard, i couldnt do a stair master quickly for 5 mins without stoping.
i have to drop less than one percent body fat in the next week in order to get my contract written september first like i hope to do. but im track, i should be able to doit, and then basic training will start in about two weeks beyond that unless i insist sooner but i wont.
if i cant make weight, i wont have to pass that derned arms test to get in, and basic training will take care of that issue then.
but ive been running alot, ive dropped about 8 pounds in the last week or so, i can now jog 2and1/2 miles without walking fairly easy now, it was terrible trying that a week ago.
i expect to ship out in about 3 weeks now.
Lee.
what isnt real?... simply his reality and his helping hand in my life.
when i turned, i wasnt mad, i wasnt angry, i was crying, becuase i was searching for him for forgiveness for sin in my life that i felt bad about, and when i couldnt find him i realised something that was dreadful to me and hurt me, that is that he simply isnt there.
that this is just something that other people believe for various reasons and is easy to get eccentric about, and draws off your desires to do whats right and be a good person in this life, but is really just a dellusion, though one that has radically changed our world for the better.
all i know is how when i reach i cant find anything except a silence that is louder than anything i ever thought i heard from him.
everytime i try to pray and find my way back to God becuase i feel terrible and in danger, its full of tears, but he hasnt answered me in anyway and everytime i pray, im more reassured that he isnt really there.
but honestly, i want this to end, thinking about my place in eternity and trying to find God and having coversations with christians about this, confuses me terribly and makes me feel awful over and over again.
i honestly dont want to have to worry about such things anymore.
someone asked about the army and how it was going,
thanks for being optimistic about this during this time of war in our nation, it is appreciated amoung the many negative things ive been told lately by people who are just trying to care for my wellbeng, concerning my decisoin to join the military.
i didnt make weight and failed the arms 1 week ago, it was actually pretty hard, i couldnt do a stair master quickly for 5 mins without stoping.
i have to drop less than one percent body fat in the next week in order to get my contract written september first like i hope to do. but im track, i should be able to doit, and then basic training will start in about two weeks beyond that unless i insist sooner but i wont.
if i cant make weight, i wont have to pass that derned arms test to get in, and basic training will take care of that issue then.
but ive been running alot, ive dropped about 8 pounds in the last week or so, i can now jog 2and1/2 miles without walking fairly easy now, it was terrible trying that a week ago.
i expect to ship out in about 3 weeks now.
Lee.
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Godzgurl
Active Member
Dont choose to believe in or abandon Christianity just because its all u've ever known. Sounds like ur being tempted by the devil to pull away from God. but also maybe God is testing u. to show u how strong ur faith is. dont give it up without really considering all u've ever witnessed through him. maybe u should try going on a short missions trip and see where that leaves u. try talking to ur pastor and see what he has to say. ur saying that ur not sure God is real? but everytime u mentioned that u sounded kind of doubtful. be sure of what u want before u turn away from God. another maybe...what if u got so much into the habit of worshipping, learning, and speaking with God that it just became a routine to u. please, dont give up on God. i'll be praying for u. Godbless u and good luck!
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Endure, it is good that you have come to the point where you are no longer satisfied with a shallow religious experience, The whole experience in the high calling of many Christians is cheapened because they are content to remain where they are.
Endure, you speak like someone who has never tasted and learned by experience that the Lord is good. Experience is knowledge derived from experiment. Do you have enough experience to know that the Holy Spirit works with those who will be worked?
Have you experienced how trials exist in greater power and number by turning away from the light?.
You say that you doubt God is real. Ask yourself. What do I have that I have not received?
Your strength, your courage, your success, will depend on how fully the Truth is woven into your own experience and developed in your own character.
Endure, you speak like someone who has never tasted and learned by experience that the Lord is good. Experience is knowledge derived from experiment. Do you have enough experience to know that the Holy Spirit works with those who will be worked?
Have you experienced how trials exist in greater power and number by turning away from the light?.
You say that you doubt God is real. Ask yourself. What do I have that I have not received?
Your strength, your courage, your success, will depend on how fully the Truth is woven into your own experience and developed in your own character.
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godsgurl
i have been considering it all, though i dont want to talk to pastors or anything. thanks for your prayer.
repentandbeleive
well i beleive i was everything a christian can be. and this isnt pulling me closer to him.
i dont live my life based on nice phrases and things and reasons. it can all be phony.
i have been considering it all, though i dont want to talk to pastors or anything. thanks for your prayer.
repentandbeleive
well i beleive i was everything a christian can be. and this isnt pulling me closer to him.
i dont live my life based on nice phrases and things and reasons. it can all be phony.
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Endure2 said:
This is one case where we think that God will answer and help instantly ... and He does help us. But not by immediately erasing that desire. That would not be help, it would be more like "taking over". I don't think that the Lord wants or does take our free will away from us. In that case we would be forced to do the right thing, forced not to sin ... although forced might be too strong and not the right word.
And I am not sure whether this is the right analogy but I believe that God in His patience and with His love is like a parent who waits until the child is able to walk without falling.
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OK, for the sake of conversation lets suppose that you were "everything that a Christian can be". Well then, who was it that made you that way?Endure2 said:
The faith that you once had in God, was it based on personal experience? Or did it stand on the wisdom of men rather than the power of God?
So what do you live your life based on now that you have admittingly turned away from God?
Are you going to abandon His principals as well? And live according to the dictates of your own conscience, which changes from day to day.
It is the spirit of the world that has made you into a skeptic. And you, one who is familair with the oracles of God, have choosen to walk in it.
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i really dont have alot of answers anymore,but i will try to answer your questions the best i can. there was a time in my life when i believed nothing would ever shake my belief and reliance on God, he was my closest friend and my help and hope in time of trouble. but from my recent lack of ability to find him in my life, i now believe it was all hype and hopefulness, calling many things what they werent. i believe i was delusional.
i believed it was experience that made me believe, experience and common sense.
what do i live for now?
i live for myself and those i care for and what i believe to be real and meaningful. i dont have the surety that i use to, becuase my faith use to be strong in God and his principles, but now, the decision ive made was of desperation, i couldnt find him anymore... and when i felt he wasnt there for me, i had to be there for me instead. i dont think i have a choice.
i dont believe my own consience changes all that often, i try to think and feel things through and make the best decisions i can make for myself and effecting others, hoping and trusting in who i am. i dont really have a choice, becuase some of the principles of the bible dont make sense to me anymore, so i cant live them.
i just cant give myself to lofty stories about "spirits" of good and darkness of heavon and of the world, those kind of things. i try to think things through and that kind of thing doesnt help me much. i dont want the drama of a spiritualised life of believing in Gods and demons and glory and darkness like the fantasy cartoons we see on tv, anymore, its too tiresome to live when it just isnt as real to you as it would need to be to live that way.
i believe i was striving to be something i just wasnt for so many years.
believing and hoping in other peoples confidence and excitment, though i did have my own experiences that i considered genuine acts of God for myself.
i believed it was experience that made me believe, experience and common sense.
what do i live for now?
i live for myself and those i care for and what i believe to be real and meaningful. i dont have the surety that i use to, becuase my faith use to be strong in God and his principles, but now, the decision ive made was of desperation, i couldnt find him anymore... and when i felt he wasnt there for me, i had to be there for me instead. i dont think i have a choice.
i dont believe my own consience changes all that often, i try to think and feel things through and make the best decisions i can make for myself and effecting others, hoping and trusting in who i am. i dont really have a choice, becuase some of the principles of the bible dont make sense to me anymore, so i cant live them.
i just cant give myself to lofty stories about "spirits" of good and darkness of heavon and of the world, those kind of things. i try to think things through and that kind of thing doesnt help me much. i dont want the drama of a spiritualised life of believing in Gods and demons and glory and darkness like the fantasy cartoons we see on tv, anymore, its too tiresome to live when it just isnt as real to you as it would need to be to live that way.
i believe i was striving to be something i just wasnt for so many years.
believing and hoping in other peoples confidence and excitment, though i did have my own experiences that i considered genuine acts of God for myself.
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Pilgrim1951
Senior Member
Lee, you sound so lonely. Aren't you lonely for God? I'm still praying for you.
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well, im not lonely for the life i once lived.
but if God is there, then yes, i do want him.
but i dont want to go back the life i use to live for several reasons.
i was like the good little child that people look at and say "awww... isnt that wonderful. thats so great hes doing those things" but they dont live that way themselves, and i dont want to anymore either.
it seems i was just living in a fantasy, not reality.
i wasnt making any progress or maturing in life becuase i rested and hid in religion and the thoughts of and about it, its all i kept my mind on, and didnt experience any real challenges or experiences in life.
i was a person who was full of words and philosophy, but didnt know anything for himself or anywhere near as much about life as the unsaved people around me who just chose to live life and learn on their own.
i was often a mean person, extremely critical of people who didnt live the way i did.
its like i didnt know how to function in or face reality, becuase i never lived in it, i lived in a diffrent world of christianity.
and i was a person who continually deprived himself of things he wanted becuase it believed he should, this i can no longer do, when theres no reason in sight.
i believed im stronger, more satisfied, i know more about certain things, more ready to make in this world since my change.
but if God is there, then yes, i do want him.
but i dont want to go back the life i use to live for several reasons.
i was like the good little child that people look at and say "awww... isnt that wonderful. thats so great hes doing those things" but they dont live that way themselves, and i dont want to anymore either.
it seems i was just living in a fantasy, not reality.
i wasnt making any progress or maturing in life becuase i rested and hid in religion and the thoughts of and about it, its all i kept my mind on, and didnt experience any real challenges or experiences in life.
i was a person who was full of words and philosophy, but didnt know anything for himself or anywhere near as much about life as the unsaved people around me who just chose to live life and learn on their own.
i was often a mean person, extremely critical of people who didnt live the way i did.
its like i didnt know how to function in or face reality, becuase i never lived in it, i lived in a diffrent world of christianity.
and i was a person who continually deprived himself of things he wanted becuase it believed he should, this i can no longer do, when theres no reason in sight.
i believed im stronger, more satisfied, i know more about certain things, more ready to make in this world since my change.
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Your delusion was in beliving that you "were everything a Christian can be." What stronger delusion can beguile the mind than the pretense that you are building on the right foundation and that God accepts your works, when in reality you are working out many things according to your own will? Oh, it is a great deception, a fascinating delusion, that takes possession of minds when people suppose that they are rich and increased with goods and in need of nothing, while in reality they are in need of everything.Endure2 said:
No greater delusion can deceive the mind than that which leads men to indulge a self-confident spirit. To believe that they are so secure in their salvation that they are beyond the reach of temptation.
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Brother Lee,
I am glad to read the post. Your anger seems to have subsided. You speak rationally and sincerely. I continue to remember you in my prayers. I only ask you to sincerely persevere in your search for purpose of life. I am certain you will be rewarded with an answer. After all, "Seek, you shall find," is the law of nature since it came out of the mouth of Jesus.
Rupert
I am glad to read the post. Your anger seems to have subsided. You speak rationally and sincerely. I continue to remember you in my prayers. I only ask you to sincerely persevere in your search for purpose of life. I am certain you will be rewarded with an answer. After all, "Seek, you shall find," is the law of nature since it came out of the mouth of Jesus.
Rupert
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Brother R&B,
I read your posts with envy for there is much wisdom. I have something to share/ask. Every once in a while., I receive messages of wisdom from the Lord. In the past, I thought all such messages were to be shared, proclaimed, or delivered.
As I look back, some of the words were given for my keeing in the heart and praying for the situations as revealed by the words. Now I know those were not to be proclaimed.
I am still raw about this and that's why I am asking this question. How do you differentiate the wisdom that is to be shared from that is to be kept?
I hope Brother Lee does not see this as "thread kidnapping." (right jargon? not sure)
Rupert
I read your posts with envy for there is much wisdom. I have something to share/ask. Every once in a while., I receive messages of wisdom from the Lord. In the past, I thought all such messages were to be shared, proclaimed, or delivered.
As I look back, some of the words were given for my keeing in the heart and praying for the situations as revealed by the words. Now I know those were not to be proclaimed.
I am still raw about this and that's why I am asking this question. How do you differentiate the wisdom that is to be shared from that is to be kept?
I hope Brother Lee does not see this as "thread kidnapping." (right jargon? not sure)
Rupert
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Endure2 said:
Sounds like you are coming out of a very legalistic place...I was very legalistic as a young believer...have been learning so much more about His love and grace...I will keep praying for you...so will others I am sure...
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Count
Regular Member
Endure2 said:
Endure 2,
I can see a difference in your post contrary to the previous ones. That means that the Lord is working on you. Remember, you are not the only one passing throgh these situations. But be sure that the time will come and you will see that during that tough period, your Lord has been much closer than you could have ever imagine. Now, you may not see this, but the time will come when you will thank Him with all your heart for that difficult situation.
I am not worthy to give you advices, but I am sure that the One who dwells in you is much wiser than all of us because He is the Wisdom Himself, and He will complete His work that has started on you.
Starr, thank you for sharing with us your part of the cross.
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repentandbelieve
it took all that for you say you think im simply mistaken? i mean c'mon, its simple, you just think i really wasnt what i say i was, you dont have to be poetic about it, though thats easy for you to believe becuase your obligated to believe it. but i do believe ive experienced and known everything you did and do, i dont think its arrogance, becuase i wouldnt have a problem with you saying you assume you know all i do. that would be fine with me because it would be entirely possible.
rupert
thanks man.
im drifting farther and farther away from christianity everyday, but i do still have a sense of loyalty toward christ, i cant bring myself to actually say or type that i dont want Jesus anymore.
but honestly, im becoming more and more bitter towards lots of the christian teaching all the time, and part of me still struggles with the justice in this, but i cant go back to it all, not right now, not untill things have changed.
and i honestly dont know what that will have to be anymore, sometimes its hard to remember why i turned away, but it was becuase i was searching and couldnt find him, i guess its untill i find him and see that christianity can be diffrent than it was for me, untill happens i cant go back.
not for my mom, not for anyone, i cant do that to myself for anyone but me.
it took all that for you say you think im simply mistaken? i mean c'mon, its simple, you just think i really wasnt what i say i was, you dont have to be poetic about it, though thats easy for you to believe becuase your obligated to believe it. but i do believe ive experienced and known everything you did and do, i dont think its arrogance, becuase i wouldnt have a problem with you saying you assume you know all i do. that would be fine with me because it would be entirely possible.
rupert
thanks man.
im drifting farther and farther away from christianity everyday, but i do still have a sense of loyalty toward christ, i cant bring myself to actually say or type that i dont want Jesus anymore.
but honestly, im becoming more and more bitter towards lots of the christian teaching all the time, and part of me still struggles with the justice in this, but i cant go back to it all, not right now, not untill things have changed.
and i honestly dont know what that will have to be anymore, sometimes its hard to remember why i turned away, but it was becuase i was searching and couldnt find him, i guess its untill i find him and see that christianity can be diffrent than it was for me, untill happens i cant go back.
not for my mom, not for anyone, i cant do that to myself for anyone but me.
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Ok, here's my two cents...
I've been going through the same problem. I started off strong, but...
here I am now telling you how weak I've become.
So what happened to me?
Well, I've been a Christian now for about 9 years. I worked as a Literature Evangelist for 4 years(cold door knocking), worked as a Bible worker for 2 years, and went to college for theology. I even worked in several evangelistic campaigns, and preached a good bit in various churches too...
And while I did these things I was filled with God's joy. Yes, I had my ups and downs, but I could always feel the presence of God in my life as I sought to share Him with others. Thus I know of the power of God and can't deny it for one moment and be sincere at the same time. And you, so as you expressed it in other words, can't deny Him either!
But I, like you, have gotten myself into a rut. In fact, I haven't witnessed for about two years now. The fire is gone, and I feel depressed.
So, what's the problem? How can we find out where we've faltered in our faith?
The solution, as God has just revealed it to me, is quite simple...
In fact, the answer lies in a question. And here it is: What was I doing before all of this, and what am I now doing in relation to God?
Ask yourself that question. And be honest with yourself!
What was it that you did in the beginning of your walk with God that made you so happy? And why aren't you happy now?
Surely you've shared Jesus with others in the beginning of your walk with God, but are you doing that now? How can you? You don't know what to believe anymore.
Yet, the interesting thing is that in sharing Him with others once again, you will fan the flame, and you will return to that state wherein you were filled life, zeal, and passion for the Lord.
Start sharing your faith again, my brother.
And as you see how the Lord uses you to bring certainty to so many souls who feel like you do right now, your joy will become inexpressible, but very real!
Give it a go and see what happens.
You know, the devil wants to keep you locked up in uncertainty about Jesus, not merely for the destruction of your own soul, but to keep you from sharing such salvific faith with others.
Why does he do this? He does it because he knows that the more you share your faith, the stronger you will become in Christ. And the stronger you become in Christ the weaker his army will become because not only will the devil lose his hold on you, but on many more whom you will bring to the Lord by the power of your testimony of Christ.
So then, in spite of how you feel, get out there and tell others about Jesus! And I better do the same!
I've been going through the same problem. I started off strong, but...
here I am now telling you how weak I've become.
So what happened to me?
Well, I've been a Christian now for about 9 years. I worked as a Literature Evangelist for 4 years(cold door knocking), worked as a Bible worker for 2 years, and went to college for theology. I even worked in several evangelistic campaigns, and preached a good bit in various churches too...
And while I did these things I was filled with God's joy. Yes, I had my ups and downs, but I could always feel the presence of God in my life as I sought to share Him with others. Thus I know of the power of God and can't deny it for one moment and be sincere at the same time. And you, so as you expressed it in other words, can't deny Him either!
But I, like you, have gotten myself into a rut. In fact, I haven't witnessed for about two years now. The fire is gone, and I feel depressed.
So, what's the problem? How can we find out where we've faltered in our faith?
The solution, as God has just revealed it to me, is quite simple...
In fact, the answer lies in a question. And here it is: What was I doing before all of this, and what am I now doing in relation to God?
Ask yourself that question. And be honest with yourself!
What was it that you did in the beginning of your walk with God that made you so happy? And why aren't you happy now?
Surely you've shared Jesus with others in the beginning of your walk with God, but are you doing that now? How can you? You don't know what to believe anymore.
Yet, the interesting thing is that in sharing Him with others once again, you will fan the flame, and you will return to that state wherein you were filled life, zeal, and passion for the Lord.
Start sharing your faith again, my brother.
And as you see how the Lord uses you to bring certainty to so many souls who feel like you do right now, your joy will become inexpressible, but very real!
Give it a go and see what happens.
You know, the devil wants to keep you locked up in uncertainty about Jesus, not merely for the destruction of your own soul, but to keep you from sharing such salvific faith with others.
Why does he do this? He does it because he knows that the more you share your faith, the stronger you will become in Christ. And the stronger you become in Christ the weaker his army will become because not only will the devil lose his hold on you, but on many more whom you will bring to the Lord by the power of your testimony of Christ.
So then, in spite of how you feel, get out there and tell others about Jesus! And I better do the same!
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man, i cant possibly do that, i dont believe this anymore, theres no way i can try to convince other people of it.
my past?
there are certainly things i no longer have answers for, the good things that happened to me, the bad things that didnt, and what i believed was the presence of God...
but i think i was gullable, i was naive, and about what did and didnt happen, i have no idea...
but not knowing that isnt going to obligate me to be a christian, because i see no reason to believe the vast spiritual grand story of it all is real.
christianity is beginning to seem foolish to me sometimes, some parts of it, and me needing answers for what i dont know anymore wont make me be a christian. not anymore that it would make me a buhddist, or a mormon or an islamic.
just becuase i dont have answers doesnt mean i need to believe yours.
no, trying to witness would destroy me.
and it already hurts me, my friends who said they saw so much in me, some of whom i brought to Jesus, when they learn ive changed they seem hurt... and that really hurts me,
but i honestly cant do it anymore... and i cant just trudge along under the weight of it all for them or for anyone else, no matter how much i care for them, it would destroy me. and that kind of lifestyle cant be lived for OTHERS anyway.
the thing is, i still attend the church i grew up in, and now i watch people do what i use to do, and now i realise why its easy for some people to believe.
its in the songs, its in the sermons, its in everything... and if you just for a second step out into the nothingness of this religion like when you give your heart to God (amoungst all the unsurity and the doubt), youve given yourself to it and it sweeps you away.
when your doubting or hurting, they tell you to worship or pour your heart out to God, when your doubting or hurting they tell you to pray, when your doubting or hurting they tell you to "understand", when your doubting or hurting they give you explanations...
they tell you to comepletely fill yourself up with the book.... and if you buy into any of these, then you will continue to believe regardless becuase these things breed faith, becuase those things are nothing but unconcious choices to keep on believing it anyway... whether any of its true or not.
its brainwashing.
when your doing those things, you cant hardley stop believing. it even helps some people accept some of the most rediculous theories known to man, like this whole hurricane can be a picture of God or his ways or his ideals...
this DEATH... can show the traits and ideas of God?
thats ****, and if thats God then i dont want him. why would he have to doit this way.... but i saw people cry and pray and seemed touched and reaffirmed of Jesus christ and his ideals... through this death... its rediculous.
what was i doing before?
i wont go back to that mundane life of study, meditate.... deprave yourself for a holy cause... no way.
my past?
there are certainly things i no longer have answers for, the good things that happened to me, the bad things that didnt, and what i believed was the presence of God...
but i think i was gullable, i was naive, and about what did and didnt happen, i have no idea...
but not knowing that isnt going to obligate me to be a christian, because i see no reason to believe the vast spiritual grand story of it all is real.
christianity is beginning to seem foolish to me sometimes, some parts of it, and me needing answers for what i dont know anymore wont make me be a christian. not anymore that it would make me a buhddist, or a mormon or an islamic.
just becuase i dont have answers doesnt mean i need to believe yours.
no, trying to witness would destroy me.
and it already hurts me, my friends who said they saw so much in me, some of whom i brought to Jesus, when they learn ive changed they seem hurt... and that really hurts me,
but i honestly cant do it anymore... and i cant just trudge along under the weight of it all for them or for anyone else, no matter how much i care for them, it would destroy me. and that kind of lifestyle cant be lived for OTHERS anyway.
the thing is, i still attend the church i grew up in, and now i watch people do what i use to do, and now i realise why its easy for some people to believe.
its in the songs, its in the sermons, its in everything... and if you just for a second step out into the nothingness of this religion like when you give your heart to God (amoungst all the unsurity and the doubt), youve given yourself to it and it sweeps you away.
when your doubting or hurting, they tell you to worship or pour your heart out to God, when your doubting or hurting they tell you to pray, when your doubting or hurting they tell you to "understand", when your doubting or hurting they give you explanations...
they tell you to comepletely fill yourself up with the book.... and if you buy into any of these, then you will continue to believe regardless becuase these things breed faith, becuase those things are nothing but unconcious choices to keep on believing it anyway... whether any of its true or not.
its brainwashing.
when your doing those things, you cant hardley stop believing. it even helps some people accept some of the most rediculous theories known to man, like this whole hurricane can be a picture of God or his ways or his ideals...
this DEATH... can show the traits and ideas of God?
thats ****, and if thats God then i dont want him. why would he have to doit this way.... but i saw people cry and pray and seemed touched and reaffirmed of Jesus christ and his ideals... through this death... its rediculous.
what was i doing before?
i wont go back to that mundane life of study, meditate.... deprave yourself for a holy cause... no way.
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holo
former Christian
Endure,
I don't know you personally, and I haven't read all your posts here. And I have no idea if this will mean anything to you at all, but from some of what I've read, you remind me of myself. I honestly think that you will meet God, the real God, in a very personal and profound way. Because it seems you are, as R.E.M. put it, "losing your religion". And that's a wonderful thing. You have obviously stepped out of the sphere where God can be contained and limited to a book, to a theology, to a culture, a set of norms and regulations.
I think all of this will prove to be good for you. Don't sweat it.
I don't know you personally, and I haven't read all your posts here. And I have no idea if this will mean anything to you at all, but from some of what I've read, you remind me of myself. I honestly think that you will meet God, the real God, in a very personal and profound way. Because it seems you are, as R.E.M. put it, "losing your religion". And that's a wonderful thing. You have obviously stepped out of the sphere where God can be contained and limited to a book, to a theology, to a culture, a set of norms and regulations.
I think all of this will prove to be good for you. Don't sweat it.
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