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CodyFaith

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You're ok. You're not doomed. You still seek after God and seek his heart. You still care about not wanting to disobey Jesus.

You haven't blasphemed the Spirit. You're nowhere close to blaspheming the Spirit, people who talk the way you do and seek to do Christ's will like you are nowhere near close to that.

You're fine, relax.
 
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DeerGlow

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While we cannot know for sure who is saved and who isn't, I really do believe you're a saved child of God. I've seen many posts of yours and I see good fruits. We're to take in on faith that we are saved, everything is about faith. We can't know anything in this life in that regard, not 100% knowledge... such knowledge would be too high for us, it's too intense if we went around knowing with full certainty that we have eternal life and would spend it in bliss and love forever.

We all have different degrees of faith, and we all go through high's and low's, and many of us can't recognize our own faith either - remember the heart is deceitful above all things and no one can understand it. Jeremiah 17:9

But if I was saved, wouldn't the HS make it so I knew? Wouldn't He comfort me?
 
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CodyFaith

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Im sorry @DeerGlow I shouldn't have commented on the other parts because I really don't know how one knows if their actually saved or not.

I don't want to mislead you in that area, and if I have already than I apologize.

I do believe you're not condemned though because you're still seekimy Christ and doing everything right.

Just keep seeking Christ is the best advice I can give, because it's what I'm doing too.
 
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DeerGlow

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Im sorry @DeerGlow I shouldn't have commented on the other parts because I really don't know how one knows if their actually saved or not.

I don't want to mislead you in that area, and if I have already than I apologize.

I do believe you're not condemned though because you're still seekimy Christ and doing everything right.

Just keep seeking Christ is the best advice I can give, because it's what I'm doing too.

I just feel so scared, and cut off. God has every right I understand but it's hard to just be okay with the possibility of eternal torture. All alone. Forever. With God hating me. And the fire. In the darkness. Worms and demons. I can picture it so vividly.
 
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CodyFaith

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I just feel so scared, and cut off. God has every right I understand but it's hard to just be okay with the possibility of eternal torture. All alone. Forever. With God hating me. And the fire. In the darkness. Worms and demons. I can picture it so vividly.
I know, it's the only thing I'm truly afraid of. I think we're ok though. The bible in 1 John says that those who are afraid of God aren't made perfect in love. It doesn't say that they aren't God's children, it just says they're not made perfect. So perhaps the reason we are afraid is that, and that's why we see other Christians and wonder how they can be so comfortable and never afraid and by seeing them like that it makes us doubt were one of them.
This is just my interpretation/idea anyway.

A pastor I know said this to me: There's two men on a plane on their way to a destination. One man heaves the entire way, paces and is afraid of not reaching the destination. The other sits back, puts on some music and relaxes on his way to the destination. Both of them will reach the destination and both are equal and on the same flight, the only difference is how they handle the flight to the destination (heaven).

I like to hope that we will one day be less afraid though, and that we can sit back and relax like the rest of our brothers and sisters. But if that's not the case, then ultimately I still just hope that the metaphor's true and hope to reach the same destination.
 
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DeerGlow

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Im sorry @DeerGlow I shouldn't have commented on the other parts because I really don't know how one knows if their actually saved or not.

I don't want to mislead you in that area, and if I have already than I apologize.

I do believe you're not condemned though because you're still seekimy Christ and doing everything right.

Just keep seeking Christ is the best advice I can give, because it's what I'm doing too.

It was kind of encouraging. Although yeah, no one knows. It's terrifying.
 
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choklitbean

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If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

You clearly understand that you have sinned and fallen short of God's standard. If you have confessed this to God, and asked for forgiveness the Bible says that God will forgive and purify you. That doesn't mean that you will become perfect but it does mean that if you have given yourself to Him that you have become His child. All your sin was put on Jesus at the cross; this means past present and future. The Bible says nothing can snatch you out of His hand, not even OCD thoughts!

Remember what I said elsewhere, a thought is only a thought. You are not your thoughts and if you are not your thoughts then it stands to reason that not all the thoughts are yours; some are just passing through so throw them out and don't worry about God not forgiving you for something you didn't want to say or do. You will be okay. Hold tight to God, study the Bible so you know it inside and out and learn who you are in Christ - a child of the living God! Then use that knowledge to chuck the ugly thoughts out. You might not win every battle but you will win the most important one. :)
 
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Jason Foster

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Hi everybody! I have suffered from crippling OCD since early childhood and still deal with it on a daily basis. I always wanted the peace of God in my life but felt I was doing something wrong or just unwilling to commit fully. I decided I would surrender to God when I was about 24 y/o but quickly ran into the same terrible panic that is so familiar to Christians with OCD. <staff edit>

At the time of my decision to give my life to Christ, I stopped using Marijuana because I honestly thought it was evil. This resulted in full on assault of OCD symptoms, inability to feel love and was basically the closest thing to hell that I have ever experienced.

<staff edit>

To the point, I understand every single symptom that has been discussed in this thread and would like to talk about my main symptom (other than not feeling saved)-the one that drove me away from God about 10 years ago. I understand that we are to witness to others of God's love and our forgiveness as expressed by Matthew 5:15. I have found it nearly impossible to witness to others due to my crippling doubts about my own relationship with the Lord. Don't get me wrong, I love God and his commandments and I care very much about everyone else's eternal destiny, I just feel like such a fake that I can't effectively witness. I love the truth of God's word and love to sit outside in the fellowship of the Father and marvel at the beauty of his creation and dream of the resurrection unto life with Jesus but I just can't shake the feelings of fraud and resulting guilt. In this state of mind, any attempts to evangelize just come across as empty ocd rituals that make me look like a weirdo and are pretty much totally ineffective at winning others to Christ. After all, who would want to become a miserable basket case like myself? This leads to indescribable terror of God judging me as the unprofitable servant. I really want to be saved and to have God love me and reward me with eternal life and I cry about it on a nearly daily basis but here I am stuck in the miry clay.
 
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Jason Foster

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Just for the record, I think moderation is key in all things. I have heard from many that alcohol is prohibited for Christians but I think it is clear that is not a biblical doctrine. In my case, however, I have found it impossible to apply moderation to alcohol use so I just don't touch it.
 
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choklitbean

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I understand your feeling like a failure because of your battle with OCD, but consider this, you have a direct influence with those who are battling OCD without Christ. Clearly you love God and have been blessed in spite of your suffering, use that.

The cancer patient can hear better the love of God from someone who has/had cancer. The person who has been abused can hear better from someone who understands what they have/are going through. Just like them the person who is suffering from a mental illness can hear better from someone who understands their pain, confusion and panic. It seems a curse but through God turn that into someone else's blessing. Don't be afraid to share, you are needed in a scary world.
 
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Jason Foster

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Thanks very much for the words of encouragement. I have been thinking about it for a while and God must have a reason for this. I might not care anything about the truth if my obsessive curiosity had not led me to the truth about all entertainment and the political system being implemented by Satan himself, just as God's word teaches us.

<staff edit>

God bless everyone on this forum.
 
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Jason Foster

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I foot to add that Reishi Mushrooms are said to be the easiest species of mushrooms to grow and I have grown other types and I'm confident that the posters on this forum are smart enough (did you know that ocd typically goes along with increased IQ?) to grow them at home. What a wonderful way to see God's power and beauty by watching something grow. God is wonderful
 
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Kristen.NewCreation

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Please Read:

This thread has been cleaned, so if you post is missing or edited this is why.

Posts must be supportive and helpful to the OP. Promotion of medications or drugs is not within recovery guidelines, and have been removed. These posts were also off topic to the OP seeking for support. Please review the recovery guidelines and Statement of Purpose before posting if you haven't read them already.

Thank you.
 
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godenver1

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I said it. I don't know why but my mouth said Jesus is cursed. I DONT WANT THIS. But that verse. I'm doomed.....
You know you aren't. It seems clearly like OCD related intrusive thoughts. Have you been diagnosed? If not, you should seek a mental health professional.

Intrusive thoughts can be overcome and managed. Once you overcome these thoughts (and you definitely can) you'll see retrospectively how ridiculous they are.

Relax, and good luck!':)
 
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