I can't shake this one

[Boxers1]

Hi friends:
I need a reminder...i can't shake this new thought...i don't know why i can't shake it...well i kind of know why, but don't know why...I was thinking about the unpardonable sin again and the words I blaspheme you came into my head and then immediately i started the NEVER cancelling...It started to get kind of like a shouting match in my head and my therapy wasn't working...I was so scared to leave the thought alone for fear that it was the ultimate. My therapy wasn't working for some reason. How can I leave this alone when I'm still afraid that the blasphemy against the holy spirit is just a word or a thought away? How come my brain thought of those words? Why would Jesus even talk about this sin if he didn't even say what it was specifically we were supposed to avoid and now with OCD you wonder all day where the line is, how close you came and figure you fell over the edge with your thoughts? Sorry I'm struggling again, I know I have OCD, but I don't know why this is so hard for me and not most people who read the bible?
Boxers1

 

[seajoy]

It's ok Boxers1. Setbacks happen on the road to getting better. They will come fewer and further between if you stick to the therapy. Remember "who cares". It's short and to the point. Try to keep busy today, and use the "who cares" whenever needed.

I so understand what you are going through. I've been there. This one will pass. God's got a hold of you real tight.

 

[Boxers1]

Dear seajoy...thanks...I needed the "who cares" reminder even though the anxiety is telling me everything but "who cares." Even so...WHO CARES!!

Thanks, I'm clinging to that right now.

It's ok Boxers1. Setbacks happen on the road to getting better. They will come fewer and further between if you stick to the therapy. Remember "who cares". It's short and to the point. Try to keep busy today, and use the "who cares" whenever needed.

I so understand what you are going through. I've been there. This one will pass. God's got a hold of you real tight.

 

[wiggsfly]

You'll get through it, it just takes a little extra time with some things (my current obbsession will hit 3 years in April).

 

[seajoy]

Dear seajoy...thanks...I needed the "who cares" reminder even though the anxiety is telling me everything but "who cares." Even so...WHO CARES!!

Thanks, I'm clinging to that right now.

You are doing the right thing.

 

[jc9992]

Seajoy is right.You just really have to ignore the thoughts and push them away.i have little trouble understanding what Jesus meant in that verse,but im not gonna enter the cycle.

I am struggling with the cancelation obsession myself but ignoring it and praying everyday is kind of making it fade a little everyday.

 

[marcb]

I find that almost daily, there is one new obsessive thought, that may just start as a normal question, but runs away from me into sickening territory. From there I usually feel bad for the day, with varying breakthroughs of normalcy, although not complete.

That's what makes it so hard to get over. I'm over (at least now) this idea of the unpardonable sin, but feel totally disturbed over the way I process something incorrectly or irreverantly in scripture. The only difference is that it's new territory and there is shock value. I don't know if there is ever an end to the limitless possibilities of the mind, which is what makes the therapy so difficult. Literally, my thoughts will just run completely away from me when reading a biblical story that I am otherwise enjoying. It's not even a story that scares me, it's the way my thoughts run wild as I process it.

I'm really tired of how I am letting this ruin the peace with God that I so desire in my heart.

 

[seajoy]

It takes time Marc. Don't give up. Many times I thought the therapy wasn't helping, then one day at about noon, I realized I had even thought about any of this stuff the whole morning.

That will come for you too. Stress in one's life can really mess with ocd. Keep that in mind also.

 

[Boxers1]

marcb....its like you said.... "new territory...and then the "shock value" is what starts the spin cycle moving. So if we haven't done the therapy on a particular intrusive thought, then that thought will create the "shock" or anxiety until we have conquered it in therapy. But the problem for me is that sometimes I am still bothered by thoughts that creep up unexpectedly even though they aren't really "new territory" but they appeared kind of out of nowhere in a loud, agressive way and I can't put the brakes on. Then I am really annoyed b/c I did the therapy on it in the past so why am i bothered by it? Why can't I feel no anxiety and say "so what"? This whole thought obsession deal is really very annoying. It wastes a lot of my time. I can't control my thoughts- its really not possible and I have to accept that...I guess we really just all have to accept that. I have to live with them. Kind of like when John Nash in "A Beautiful Mind" had to live with his "imaginary friends" meaning his delusions. He thought they were real, but they werent', but he had to learn to live with them.
Boxers1

I find that almost daily, there is one new obsessive thought, that may just start as a normal question, but runs away from me into sickening territory. From there I usually feel bad for the day, with varying breakthroughs of normalcy, although not complete.

That's what makes it so hard to get over. I'm over (at least now) this idea of the unpardonable sin, but feel totally disturbed over the way I process something incorrectly or irreverantly in scripture. The only difference is that it's new territory and there is shock value. I don't know if there is ever an end to the limitless possibilities of the mind, which is what makes the therapy so difficult. Literally, my thoughts will just run completely away from me when reading a biblical story that I am otherwise enjoying. It's not even a story that scares me, it's the way my thoughts run wild as I process it.

I'm really tired of how I am letting this ruin the peace with God that I so desire in my heart.

 

[rubycakes]

Boxers, I totally know what u mean about old thoughts creeping up on us. I dont know why but it happens to me too. My sex obsession went away for about 3-4 years and then poof... here it is again! I dont know why but it drives me crazy!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be praying 4 u!