I can't find anyone.

Something else to consider is that you want to get in some last bit of happiness before dying as if heaven is a bad place. Rather invest now in righteous to prepare for something that will better in its first 5 minutes than all the sex any person has had in their life combined.

John Davidson said:

I don't think my faith is the problem. I think the problem is that I'm not meeting any single Christian ladies.

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God was aware of your problem before He formed the world.

John Davidson said:

Jesus never commanded that people not get remarried.

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Well, he did stand by "you shall not commit adultery" and he did define adultery very strictly, to include remarriage after divorce in all but one circumstance.

John Davidson said:

And yet he allows it to continue....

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here is the core issue; you seem to believe that this is His fault; that He 'allows' this condition to continue implies that He could change it independent of you - but you know that there is NO fault in God at all...

if you had a son, and he needed something that only you could provide independent of his perceived ability, would you withhold it from him? if he asked you for bread, would you give you a stone? of course not!

yet it certainly looks like God has withheld many things from you that you need; healing and a wife are just two of them.

so now you must decide if He is faithful or not; if He is, then the only possible alternative is that you are confused about some things, and the most obvious thing is whether or not He is in control of your life, or whether you are in control of your life with the option to yield that control back to Him. what is your decision about this?

That is incorrect reasoning. Why is it that not everyone is saved, then?

This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:3-4, 1984 NIV)

Your own words testify to the problem. What do you think "grace" is?

Is it Bill Gate's fault he hasn't given you a million dollars? Or would it be your next door neighbor's "fault" for making you unhappy if you asked for a thousand dollars so you would be happier and he didn't give it to you? (Everything God does costs him something, otherwise what he did wouldn't be loving.)

(Edited)

John Davidson said:

If God is on the throne and he is in control then by his grace he could bring me a wife. But he is choosing not to give me one. So it is his fault.

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i agree with your logic, but not with the concept that God is in complete control of everything. God HAS ultimate control, and therefore is ABLE to control everything, but He has delegated unrestricted control in the earth to people in flesh bodies, by giving them unrestricted dominion over the earth:

Gen 1:26 KJV
(26) And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

if God IS able to bring you a wife based solely on His own degree of control in the earth, then He could also heal you based solely on His own degree of control in the earth, and force spiritual rebirth on you based solely on His own degree of control in the earth - and not only you, but everyone else too. taken to it's logical conclusions, if God IS in control of the earth and what goes on in it, then He is indirectly responsible for all the bad things that happen in the earth, simply by allowing them to happen by not exercising control to stop them. many who think this way will say that sickness is a blessing in that it drives one closer to God - but that wasn't true for me when i was dying of cancer, and i'll bet that hasn't worked for you in your extended illness either.

BUT - IF God has delegated unrestricted control over spiritual rebirth to people in flesh bodies to receive or reject as THEY choose (independent of His will), then He is NOT in control of the most important decision anyone can make, and therefore logically NOT in control of lesser decisions such as who to marry or what actions to take in order to be healed.

in the US, the Federal government has the ability to exert complete control over the states; but in the Constitution, control over certain areas has been delegated to the states. exceptions to delegated authority often exist in man's government; but not in God's - His word can not change; if He has delegated control over the earth to people in flesh bodies, He must allow them to choose to reject Him and go to hell for eternity, even though He gave His Son to pay the price for their redemption.

and this is good news; because if God doesn't 'allow' you to get healed or have a wife because He's exercising His control in the earth, then there's nothing that can override Him - but if WE have control, and we yield it back to Him by seeking and following His leading in daily life, He can indirectly (through us) use our delegated authority to bring about the good things we hope for, such as healing or a good wife.

does that make sense?

i was taught growing up that God was in complete control of everything. but when i was facing terminal cancer, and had exhausted all the attempts at help from the medical industry (and 'spent all i had on physicians') and was 'none the better, only worse', i was faced with a decision: either i had to accept that God was going to allow me to die a slow death from cancer by not exercising His complete control over the earth to heal me, or i would have to exert my authority in the earth that God gave me in Genesis 1:26 that i had yielded to the devil before i received spiritual rebirth; and that Jesus gave back to me in Mark 11:23; and do so by speaking words of faith over myself as He instructed. in order to do this, i had to face the fact that i could have done this early on and avoided all the hellish treatments and bills that the medical industry put me through, and that was very hard for me because it meant that i had to accept that i had suffered much that i need not have suffered - but there was no other way to exercise faith and have hope for the recovery God promised in His word except to renounce the doctrine of God being in complete control and follow the Master's instructions on speaking to my mountains with my God-given Jesus-reclaimed authority as a man in a flesh body, while at the same time humbling myself and accepting responsibility for what i had needlessly suffered through while the cancer was alive in me...and if i hadn't made this change in belief about who is in control in the earth, i wouldn't be posting anything today, because i'd have gone on to the next life years ago, having died of cancer.

John, God is all-powerful, yes. I believe that.

Scenario. I wanted a dog. I've had a dog most of my life, but went for the last few years without one. I just wanted one. I could have waited until one showed up as a lost pup on my doorstep, or I could check out ads on Craigslist, go on the Petfinder, put the word out there that I was looking for a dog. I can't tell you how many hundreds of dogs I looked at on the Petfinder over a two year span. Finally, last December, there was a local ad on Kijiji or Craigslist... we answered the ad, and out of the 28 respondents, we were chosen for this puppy - and better yet, he was free!

Going around looking wasn't enough. God is all powerful, and there are women who would be wonderful for you. Make sure to take God up on the opportunities, get to know some ladies (I know you are actively looking, but bear with me).

Unfortunately, there is also the possibility that you will stay single. And God knows whether this is best for you. In fact, often what I hear is that when you give up looking and become content in whatever your situation is, that is when it happens....when you stop expecting, the expected thing finally happens.

So my question to you is can you, and will you, be content being single if that is what God thinks is best for you? I know that flies in the face of his idea that it's not good that man is alone, and that each man should have his own wife, and two are better than one and a cord of three can't be easily broken, etc. As you struggle with learning to be content being single, maybe you can pray the Word, and trust that he will bring one when he decides it is a good time for you.

My sister prayed all her life for someone, believing God would provide for her. But she was very picky and passed up a lot of fantastic opportunities because her expectations were too high. She is now 53 and still has never dated. She believes God let her down and I'm sure there were times when she questioned whether he was able to keep what she thought were his promises, or maybe his power, his will, his provision. She has been really miserable on and off all her life because of this. It's affected her mental health, her faith, her social life....

And on another note, one of the youths from my childhood church came back into my life a few years after my son's father ran away from home. He had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. He was not interested in letting anyone love him only to probably lose him... but the Lord spoke to me and told me "just love him," and I did. We both yielded to our God, and our focus was on him. Our relationship was phenomenal, and beautiful, and we had finally started talking about marriage when his cancer started growing again - and he died. But he died knowing how very well loved he was, and how it was to fully love as far as an unmarried man could love. But the point was, he let it go... and then it happened for him. God knew we needed each other. He knew best, because when I argued with God "but he is going to die" God told me that he would make it worth it. And he did.

What do you believe about God right now? What do you believe about where he is while you are going through this? Is the situation a dynamic interplay between you and God, or are you passive about your search (I know you're not because you've mentioned the possibilities at this point). What do you believe about what he knows is best for you? What do you believe about his promises?

John Davidson said:

Those verses don't seem to be working for me.

I think about the Lord all day long but he doesn't give me a wife.

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Dont wrestle with...sometimes its just best to accept things... Usually when you aren't thinking about it..and I mean totally ( not even having it in the back of your mind) that's when you end up find what you're looking for..

So its best not to stress yourself out. I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend...ever-- and I've decided to pour all my energy into my art work

John Davidson said:

I'm thinking about going to Vegas with that woman who contacted me on POF. Her profile says she is a Christian. Maybe she wants to get married there. People do go to Vegas for shotgun weddings. But on the other hand maybe she just wants to fornicate and gamble away all my money. I think the Holy Spirit is telling me no but my flesh is telling me yes. What do you guys think about going to Las Vegas with someone I don't know? This could be my chance to meet someone and get married.

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If you have the feeling of the Spirit saying "no" I would follow His nudge. You're right, perhaps you can find her and marry. That's a possibility.

macks116 said:

If you have the feeling of the Spirit saying "no" I would follow His nudge. You're right, perhaps you can find her and marry. That's a possibility.

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In the light of Romans 7.2-3, why would this be a Scriptural option?

I won't get into divorce/remarriage thing because thats not what you need to hear right now. What I will say is nothing is impossible. I think as we age it becomes much harder to find someone to marry. Some are so ok with being single when older that they stop looking and are content being single. Others just have so much baggage with them that they don't want to marry. Some I've seen recently say they won't marry because it will make things harder financially in our economy. Theres tons of reasons.

I'd say just stay strong. If all else fails try to be willing to accept that you may not find anyone. Hopefully you get what I mean. Trust in God that maybe there is someone out there, but don't expect it as if it will 100% happen.

John Davidson said:

Jesus never commanded that people not get remarried.

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Yes, Sir, He did. Each Christian has their own challenge. For some, it's choosing to stay in a difficult marriage. For others, it's choosing to remain single after a divorce. Scripturally, if your first wife was let go for infidelity on her part, you could remarry and still be within bounds. But if not, Sir, as tough as this is for contemporary Christians to hear, to seek and get another wife would be adultery, according to our Savior.

No one obeys this anymore, it seems. Even many Catholics divorce and remarry. But the commandments have not changed. Imho if our goal is to follow Christ, our devotion to Him over and against our own desires or plans must be stronger. It's not easy, but it's certainly possible.

And sometimes our Father withholds from us the very things we want more than anything. It can feel deeply cruel and painful, but if our goal is to become more like His Son, not getting what it feels like we need, deserve, or require can be the best thing for us. Think of the Cross.

Now, you might not listen to any of this and God may finally allow you to get what you want, and remarriage might make you deeply happy. She may be a lovely person who seems to have been tailor made for you, and you'd feel nothing but joy and fulfilment over having found and married her. You could both grow old together and die happy. But what about after this?

Sir, respectfully, if we say we are Christians, the responsibility is great. He calls us to carry our cross and follow Him, and this is never easy or fun. But it is blessed, and does lead to eternal life. The broad road does not. God bless you, and open your eyes, Sir.