T
TheGuard
Guest
I have been a security patrolmen for a few years now and have done and seen a lot.
One nite whilst training a rookie he asked me if I believed in the Bible, I said no, i thought it was fairy tales. He asked me if I believed in God?. I said yes. he then told that God is the word and the word is God, you cant have one with out the other. he told me about Jesus and his gift. I wasn't really listening, well at least I thought I wasn't. I quickly changed subjects. After a short time his questions began to eat away at me and eventually though him I gave my life to Jesus.
That's when all hell broke loose and because of the nature of my job and the relationships I had already developed with mates and colleagues, I become very frustrated with my constantly sinning self and could not see how I could ever possibly change. the whole time I was being told that Jesus loved me and was with me no matter what.
I became so angry and disappointed with myself and tired of the nightly grind of my job, I began to take Party pills as a way of trying to feel good and ready for action, I soon became addicted and had to take more and more. I got to the point I was not sleeping during the days and then going and working 13 hour night shifts 8 - 9 days a week. I began smoking again a habit which took me forever to quit, and stopped going to the gym completely as I had lost all motivation without the pills, which really sucked as I am a avid weight lifter and had become huge.
I felt I had turned my back on God and there was no going back.
After months of this I soon got to the point where something had to give. so I cried out to Jesus. An opportunity arose where I could work closer to home, so I took it and things started to get back on track. I even had time to get to the local church.
Then one day I decided to take some pills because I was feeling good and thought, that it would just be a one off. I became helplessly hooked again and everything I gained back I lost again. What was worse was I felt I had really turned my back on God and there was no going back. I suffered a respiratory arrest and Nealy died on my way to hospital, people kept saying to me, "you better thank God you still alive." I didn't.
I came out of hospital to scared to go back to God because I was afraid I would just do it again and disappoint him even more. I went right back on the pills.
But the thought of living my life like this is horrifying.
And its only been the last 2 weeks Ive been clean and a week ago I preyed again for forgiveness.
I know in my heart Jesus was with me the whole time.
And God was waiting for his son to return home, it was me who wouldnt forgive, who wouldnt let me go back.
I walk these streets and drive these roads and spend my nights protecting people and there property. I deal with drunks and drug addicts. I pump iron in the morning, read my Bible before I sleep, which is the only time I am truly free from myself.
God shows me his love when I get the occasions to throw a few steaks on the BBQ and Chase my Son around the yard with water pistols. we sit down to a kings feed thank God for the day and watch WWE wrestling on the box, we scream and yell at it. we watch cartoons till we fall asleep on the couch.
Lap it up.
Tomorrow I'll be back on the streets,
lost in its Godless night.
consumed by its toxicity.
I am the Guard.
God Bless you all
One nite whilst training a rookie he asked me if I believed in the Bible, I said no, i thought it was fairy tales. He asked me if I believed in God?. I said yes. he then told that God is the word and the word is God, you cant have one with out the other. he told me about Jesus and his gift. I wasn't really listening, well at least I thought I wasn't. I quickly changed subjects. After a short time his questions began to eat away at me and eventually though him I gave my life to Jesus.
That's when all hell broke loose and because of the nature of my job and the relationships I had already developed with mates and colleagues, I become very frustrated with my constantly sinning self and could not see how I could ever possibly change. the whole time I was being told that Jesus loved me and was with me no matter what.
I became so angry and disappointed with myself and tired of the nightly grind of my job, I began to take Party pills as a way of trying to feel good and ready for action, I soon became addicted and had to take more and more. I got to the point I was not sleeping during the days and then going and working 13 hour night shifts 8 - 9 days a week. I began smoking again a habit which took me forever to quit, and stopped going to the gym completely as I had lost all motivation without the pills, which really sucked as I am a avid weight lifter and had become huge.
I felt I had turned my back on God and there was no going back.
After months of this I soon got to the point where something had to give. so I cried out to Jesus. An opportunity arose where I could work closer to home, so I took it and things started to get back on track. I even had time to get to the local church.
Then one day I decided to take some pills because I was feeling good and thought, that it would just be a one off. I became helplessly hooked again and everything I gained back I lost again. What was worse was I felt I had really turned my back on God and there was no going back. I suffered a respiratory arrest and Nealy died on my way to hospital, people kept saying to me, "you better thank God you still alive." I didn't.
I came out of hospital to scared to go back to God because I was afraid I would just do it again and disappoint him even more. I went right back on the pills.
But the thought of living my life like this is horrifying.
And its only been the last 2 weeks Ive been clean and a week ago I preyed again for forgiveness.
I know in my heart Jesus was with me the whole time.
And God was waiting for his son to return home, it was me who wouldnt forgive, who wouldnt let me go back.
I walk these streets and drive these roads and spend my nights protecting people and there property. I deal with drunks and drug addicts. I pump iron in the morning, read my Bible before I sleep, which is the only time I am truly free from myself.
God shows me his love when I get the occasions to throw a few steaks on the BBQ and Chase my Son around the yard with water pistols. we sit down to a kings feed thank God for the day and watch WWE wrestling on the box, we scream and yell at it. we watch cartoons till we fall asleep on the couch.
Lap it up.
Tomorrow I'll be back on the streets,
lost in its Godless night.
consumed by its toxicity.
I am the Guard.
God Bless you all
