I am afraid to return to God...

[Emerald518]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so hurt by what happened that I just couldn't have a relationship with God anymore afterward because it hurt too much. Over the last few years, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been on high alert thinking that the end is near and the recent news about the war in Israel has me even more convinced that the end is getting close. I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again after what happened to me and I'm also in pain when I think about these past 8 years have been compared to what they could have as well as who I could have been, and I'm so scared and hurt that I honestly just wish I could die...I have a long backstory too if anyone would like to know what it is, but I just don't know how to deal with this and am really stuck between a rock and a hard place.....

 

[dwb001]

I was walking parallel to the narrow path for many years. (In the world but close to God.)
I don't think I should be in God's good books.
I have to trust in God's promise that He wants me.
Many times I will find myself crying over my past wrongs. I really don't deserve Paradise.
The only thing I can stand on is the same thing that the criminal on the cross said when he got to the gates of heaven.

 

[Lzz]

Yes it is frightening in a way.
I have recently been drawn back after being backslid for well over 20 years.
I was getting a lot of content about the end times coming up on my youtube, which lead to me picking up my bible again and it's gone from there.
Since then I've been repenting of my sins and have been praying a lot. God has shown me the depth of my sinfulness, it goes through to the core. I also have a huge fear of surrender so I'm definitely a work in progress.
You mentioned a rock and a hard place and that's how I've felt, but there really are only two choices, follow devil or follow God.
I'd encourage you to pray, to lay out your fears before God and go from there.

 

[sandman]

I really don’t want to know anything about your past ...I don’t care what happened 8 years ago or yesterday …. If I had a time machine, then we could both jump in…. I could drop you off at your desired year and I would continue on, having several stops in various years in effort to change the things that messed up our lives…. But the time machine is a… no go…..I think that is why Paul stated in Phl 3:13&14

13b &14 forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Paul had some pretty dark things to put behind him.

I have found that I don’t easily forget my past (unlike God who can remember it no more) … So, I have to use it as teaching moment for myself and maybe help others …because we can’t change it…but we can certainly move forward and press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

We don’t have to make recompence for our past, thanks to Jesus Christ that has all been taken care of. All God wants to know is …. are you going to get back in the ballgame or are you going to sit on the bench look at the replay’s of your errors.

You are here today and that is what matters….so my question is …. What can we as a family do for you?

 

[Unqualified]

Use all that fear to turn to Jesus and let Him see you through. Where is it going to go except to anxiety. But trusting in Jesus is the way passed it. You know He loves you take the leap of faith again. I’m sorry you had to go through the fire so soon. Jesus and the Bible could have comforted you and given you strength. Remember to go to Him if you have tribulation. He is the answer to everything. Here is a scripture to help you on the road: 2Cor 10:3-5 .

 

[Dave G.]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so hurt by what happened that I just couldn't have a relationship with God anymore afterward because it hurt too much. Over the last few years, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been on high alert thinking that the end is near and the recent news about the war in Israel has me even more convinced that the end is getting close. I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again after what happened to me and I'm also in pain when I think about these past 8 years have been compared to what they could have as well as who I could have been, and I'm so scared and hurt that I honestly just wish I could die...I have a long backstory too if anyone would like to know what it is, but I just don't know how to deal with this and am really stuck between a rock and a hard place.....

The back story doesn't matter. But how you got saved does, what you believed at that time and how you came or if you came to know the Lord matters. Did you believe from your heart that Jesus Christ was God incarnate on earth first off ? Then this paraphrase: died for the sins of the world and your sins, was raised on the third day and sits now at the right hand of the Father ? Giving yourself over to that Jesus is your salvation. For He said " I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father but through Me". John 14:6

Here are the verses to remind you and what's on my mind as I write to you today:

1 Corinthians 15:1-4​

​

English Standard Version​

​

The Resurrection of Christ​

15 Now I would remind you, brothers,[a] of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, 2 and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.

3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures,

Did you ever experience any fruit of the Holy Spirit with you ?

If non of this is you then you need to get saved, though you think you are already. If you are saved believing what I wrote, then turn back, confess to the Lord and He is just to forgive you in 1 John 1:9.

What I gave you is the root of the Gospel message. These days there are many other kinds of gospels out there but they aren't salvation. You must believe from your heart, then the outward evidence of salvation is the changed man.

Here is the deal: I found myself in a situation where I had to renounce the enemy that infiltrated my life and for assurance sake re dedicate myself to Christ in my own walk . It literally drove that enemy out and peace came over me. I/m saying that knowing He is faithful and true !

 

[dwb001]

So many theological answers to a personal question.

Why not show some personal interest and address the fear and not the theology?

 

[Dave G.]

So many theological answers to a personal question.

Why not show some personal interest and address the fear and not the theology?

I can't speak for the other responders but as to mine, If concern for the gospel in his life is not concern for him personally then I wrote the words for nothing and we might as well all just go someplace else than here. And Because he doesn't need a baby sitter to hold his hand, that's just a band aid.. He needs Jesus Christ who brings in the peace that surpasses all understanding. Now he either never had Jesus and needs Him or he has Him already and needs to confess and turn back to Him. Which in a nutshell is what I presented in the post you may not like. I don't have to explain my reasoning, the Holy Spirit will move or not but it's in His hands at this point.

Good hands too, as He directs our paths, if we are open to listen !!

 

[dwb001]

If concern for the gospel in his life is not concern then I wrote the words for nothing and we might as well all just go someplace else than here. And Because he doesn't need a baby sitter to hold his hand, that's just a band aid.. He needs Jesus Christ who brings in the peace that surpasses all understanding. Now he either never had Jesus and needs Him or he has Him already and needs to confess and turn back to Him. Which in a nutshell is what I presented in the post you don't like. I don't have to explain my reasoning, the Holy Spirit will move or not but it's in His hands at this point.

But what hurting person needs to be preached at?

Tone determines if truth is loving or hateful.

 

[Dave G.]

But what hurting person needs to be preached at?

Tone determines if truth is loving or hateful.

Think as you wish, nothing has been said in this thread that was not out of concern, including your own post. So lets not knock the thread off the rails. Only the Lord can fix this for the OP though.

 

[dwb001]

Think as you wish, nothing has been said in this thread that was not out of concern, including your own post. So lets not knock the thread off the rails. Only the Lord can fix this for the OP though.

I speak from experience.

Does the Bible say "speak the truth" or does it say "speak the truth in love"?

 

[Wings like Eagles]

@Emerald518 - in my situation, I had to stop believing what I thought about myself and to believe what God thinks about me according to his Word. Thoughts of the past and condemnation are not of God.


His Grace and Peace to you from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ

 

[Dave G.]

Colossians 4:6
English Standard Version
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

 

[Bobber]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so......

OK you go on to say you'd like to be restored to God. That's good to hear and God wants that too. I'd say there's one key thing you have to deal with and one has to embrace this with all tenacity.....that the blood of Jesus is capable of blotting out your past sins. One has to decide and not be moved from this that God will look upon you as just as if you'd never sinned and even if you don't feel like it make a decision you will be the way he sees you...now made righteous in his sight.

Don't worry about him not being willing to see you this way, he will and longs to restore you. You must however agree with what he says about the matter. Satan will put thoughts in your mind you're not forgiven but God says as far as the east is from the west so far will I remove your transgressions from you.

I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again.....

I'd be a lot more terrified at staying in place where Satan has inroads into your life. That's the real dark place. Jesus wants you in the Kingdom of Light.

 

[CoreyD]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so hurt by what happened that I just couldn't have a relationship with God anymore afterward because it hurt too much. Over the last few years, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been on high alert thinking that the end is near and the recent news about the war in Israel has me even more convinced that the end is getting close. I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again after what happened to me and I'm also in pain when I think about these past 8 years have been compared to what they could have as well as who I could have been, and I'm so scared and hurt that I honestly just wish I could die...I have a long backstory too if anyone would like to know what it is, but I just don't know how to deal with this and am really stuck between a rock and a hard place.....

I'm thinking of how Job felt. He actually wanted to die, and he wanted God to do it, quick.
It's sounds like you are in great distress, like Job was, and what you need is a listening ear.
I'm really interested in hearing your story. Could you send me by Personal Message.

 

[anetazo]

I drifted away in 2001 to 2005. But I came back.
Isaiah chapter 54 . God will take you back. Repent and be honest about it.

Jeremiah 29:14 . We all mess up at times. Just learn from your mistakes and move on.

Hosea chapter 6 . God want's our love and worship. Repent and have honest talk with Jesus and get back into studying the bible.

Satan tries to hold guilt trips on people.
Its written in Peter, resist the devil and he will flee. Order satan and evil spirits away from you in Jesus name.

 

[Billy Evmur]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so hurt by what happened that I just couldn't have a relationship with God anymore afterward because it hurt too much. Over the last few years, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been on high alert thinking that the end is near and the recent news about the war in Israel has me even more convinced that the end is getting close. I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again after what happened to me and I'm also in pain when I think about these past 8 years have been compared to what they could have as well as who I could have been, and I'm so scared and hurt that I honestly just wish I could die...I have a long backstory too if anyone would like to know what it is, but I just don't know how to deal with this and am really stuck between a rock and a hard place.....

right at the end of the day it will be a matter of faith for you, you'll have to BELIEVE, believe you are a son [even if you are female ] it is a very common experience you have been through, the devil doesn't like losing souls. You have to battle through that.

Humble yourself before God and in due time He will lift you up.

God didn't change, YOU changed. If you had peace when you were first saved, joy, a heart filled with love those things are still there for you.

The KEY to what happened is to know that you, your flesh was being crucified. Painful, hard, sorrowful. What can you do about it? all you can do is what Jesus did, Lie down.

But set your mind on the resurrection, YOUR resurrection, it will come. And my guess is it will be glorious for you. God has a plan for you.

 

[returntosender]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so hurt by what happened that I just couldn't have a relationship with God anymore afterward because it hurt too much. Over the last few years, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been on high alert thinking that the end is near and the recent news about the war in Israel has me even more convinced that the end is getting close. I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again after what happened to me and I'm also in pain when I think about these past 8 years have been compared to what they could have as well as who I could have been, and I'm so scared and hurt that I honestly just wish I could die...I have a long backstory too if anyone would like to know what it is, but I just don't know how to deal with this and am really stuck between a rock and a hard place.....

God loves you no matter what and is waiting for you with open arms. Return to him.

 

[Lost4words]

God IS love and mercy. All forgiving.

Fear not as God is there, waiting for YOU with open arms.

Do not delay my friend!

Go to Him with your heavy heart, full of repentance and love for Him.

God loves you. He has never left your side!

Just like the prodigal son, return and see God's love for you.

God bless you...

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so hurt by what happened that I just couldn't have a relationship with God anymore afterward because it hurt too much. Over the last few years, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been on high alert thinking that the end is near and the recent news about the war in Israel has me even more convinced that the end is getting close. I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again after what happened to me and I'm also in pain when I think about these past 8 years have been compared to what they could have as well as who I could have been, and I'm so scared and hurt that I honestly just wish I could die...I have a long backstory too if anyone would like to know what it is, but I just don't know how to deal with this and am really stuck between a rock and a hard place.....

You need to quit looking at yourself in isolation. All you have to do is confess your sin. God forgives and He forgets. As Paul said, "Forgetting what lies behind, I press on........." If you were born again in the first place, you cannot lose relationship. What we lose when we sin is fellowship. Remember the prodigal son. His father was just delighted to have him home. No blame, no recriminations, just welcome and restoration.