I am afraid to return to God...

[biblelesson]

Hi everyone...

I was hoping someone could help me, because I'm in a bad spot right now....long story short, I walked away from God in 2015 after some really traumatic things happened to me right after I got saved that were mostly my fault. It was awful to have the things happen to me that did and I was so hurt by what happened that I just couldn't have a relationship with God anymore afterward because it hurt too much. Over the last few years, especially since the pandemic hit, I've been on high alert thinking that the end is near and the recent news about the war in Israel has me even more convinced that the end is getting close. I know I need to get back to life with God, but I'm terrified to have a relationship with Him again after what happened to me and I'm also in pain when I think about these past 8 years have been compared to what they could have as well as who I could have been, and I'm so scared and hurt that I honestly just wish I could die...I have a long backstory too if anyone would like to know what it is, but I just don't know how to deal with this and am really stuck between a rock and a hard place.....

There are scriptures in the gospel that let us know we can’t loose our salvation. Other scriptures tells us we have an adversary who we fight against. We also struggle with our old man - the Ademic nature. The Bible let’s us know how to deal with each of these situations.

First our salvation is secure in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1 KJV, Romans 8:38-39 KJV, 1 John 3:20 KJV.

Second if we don’t know how the enemy works against the Christian, we will blame ourselves for what the devil brings in our life to stop us from trusting in God. We are told to be strong in the Lord, put on the whole armor of God, that we wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with principalities…, Ephesians 6:10-18 KJV

If we are afraid to believe we are forgiven in Jesus, and struggle to believe the truth of God’s word, and continue to fall pray to unbelief, then Satan has us where he wants us - Satan is a thief, John 10:10 KJV. Don’t give in to the devises the devil use to trick God’s children, James 4:7 KJV.

The gospel tells us to fight the good fight of faith, 1 Timothy 6:12 KJV.

We are in a battle! But God has given us power, 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV, through the Holy Spirit, Acts 1:8 KJV.

We suffer for Christ, and we are to count it all joy, James 1:2-3 KJV. Jesus said the world will hate us because it hated Him, John 15:19 KJV. So we are not to think that the terribly things that happen to us are strange, 1 Peter 4:12 KJV. However, all Christians are chastened by the Lord, and those situations can be grievous, Hebrews 12:11 KJV, but will produce fruit in us.

So trust God is working on you to His good pleasure, Philippians 2:13 KJV. The Bible tells us that we are to come boldly to the Throne of Grace for help in time of trouble, Hebrews 4:16 KJV. Let God know your fears, ask that He cast the spirit of fear out of you, pray to be filled with the Spirit, pray for a renewed mind, praise and thank Him for carrying you through your troubles.

This is between you and God! Resist the devil and fight the good fight of faith, and God will bruise Satan under your feet shortly, Romans 16:20 KJV

May God bless and strengthen you!