I was so frustrated with my ocd, that I decided to say "no" to many ocd compulsions. I felt good. free. awesome. I was like
" no more nonsense. God loves me and I have protection from ocd and I have been suffering a lot and I have been praying a lot about it, and since it never stops it means I am not guilty about it and I try as hard as I can and God knows it" "its time to stop this"
I like copypasting posts in other forums. I have been avoiding doing it. I do not know why. but the only thing I remember about this compulsion was that one time I said to myself stuff like " I should stop copypasting. maybe a promise was made to God" should not risk it"
while trying to feel good and stop analyzing my ocd thoughts, I copypasted something that I wanted. I felt weird. it felt different. this compulsion felt different from others. I can remember many compulsions and how they were created. I can analyze them and I can label them as ocd. in this case, about copypasting, I remember nothing.
the only thing I remember is these thoughts " should not risk it" and nothing more. I remember there must have been some posts that I avoided copypasting, I cant remember why. what was the motive behind all these and why I cant remember? why I said "should not risk copypasting"?
I worry cause I can not label it or confirmt as ocd. I cant confirm it because I do not remember. I tried to analyze my thoughts about this case and the only thing I remember is "should not risk it" nothing more. why I forgot all the other thoughts related to this case? why the only thing I remember is "should not risk it?" how can I be sure if it is really one of the ocd compulsions? why I can remember most of the ocd compulsions but not this? was I right that I said no to my ocd, if it was ocd, when I copypasted on purpose?
should I have said no to other ocd compulsions but not this specific one? it was an easy compulsion, not copypasting. maybe I would be better if I kept only that compulsion, as long as, I cant label it as ocd. but I was so excited that I labeled it as ocd without any memories.
the only memory is " I should not risk copypasting" which was said in the past. and some time later, ( do not remember how much later) I copypasted. I ignored the reminder to myself. why? why there is this reminder but nothing else? is it still ocd?
" no more nonsense. God loves me and I have protection from ocd and I have been suffering a lot and I have been praying a lot about it, and since it never stops it means I am not guilty about it and I try as hard as I can and God knows it" "its time to stop this"
I like copypasting posts in other forums. I have been avoiding doing it. I do not know why. but the only thing I remember about this compulsion was that one time I said to myself stuff like " I should stop copypasting. maybe a promise was made to God" should not risk it"
while trying to feel good and stop analyzing my ocd thoughts, I copypasted something that I wanted. I felt weird. it felt different. this compulsion felt different from others. I can remember many compulsions and how they were created. I can analyze them and I can label them as ocd. in this case, about copypasting, I remember nothing.
the only thing I remember is these thoughts " should not risk it" and nothing more. I remember there must have been some posts that I avoided copypasting, I cant remember why. what was the motive behind all these and why I cant remember? why I said "should not risk copypasting"?
I worry cause I can not label it or confirmt as ocd. I cant confirm it because I do not remember. I tried to analyze my thoughts about this case and the only thing I remember is "should not risk it" nothing more. why I forgot all the other thoughts related to this case? why the only thing I remember is "should not risk it?" how can I be sure if it is really one of the ocd compulsions? why I can remember most of the ocd compulsions but not this? was I right that I said no to my ocd, if it was ocd, when I copypasted on purpose?
should I have said no to other ocd compulsions but not this specific one? it was an easy compulsion, not copypasting. maybe I would be better if I kept only that compulsion, as long as, I cant label it as ocd. but I was so excited that I labeled it as ocd without any memories.
the only memory is " I should not risk copypasting" which was said in the past. and some time later, ( do not remember how much later) I copypasted. I ignored the reminder to myself. why? why there is this reminder but nothing else? is it still ocd?
