Hypersexuality and sin

lightmyway82 said:

Confused why a higher being would expect me to apologize when this disease of the brain was allowed to manifest and cause me to do things I would not normally do.

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We apologize because objectively we did an injurious and dangerous thing. If you don't understand why sex needs to be protected within the commitment of a marriage, we can talk about that. If you don't understand why promiscuity is dangerous, we can talk about that also (although it should be obvious if you take a moment to think about it). In short, if you came away from the experience without serious consequence, your guardian angel was watching over you and a prayer of thanks would be appropriate.

Again, the biology of it DOES mitigate your responsibility, but it is still objectively wrong. Therefore it is something we regret and want to make right. Wouldn't you say it is something you wish never happened?

I'm sorry you don't believe, because you need to know that there is a heavenly Father who knows everything about you and loves you anyway. You need to know that there is a God who suffers with you when you suffer.

lightmyway82 said:

Ok, I don’t know why I even come to Christian forums. There have been a few really good replies. As I mentioned before I find it difficult to apologise to a so called higher deity I longer firmly believe in, I think I’m actually glad to be liberated from the Christian Religion. I’m pretty certain in myself I believed a lie for many years in my life. And to be honest, I find the majority of Christians (not just here) to be poor examples of what they believe in – most people do which is why they can’t be taken seriously. I understand no one is perfect, but most Christians (exception of the minority who are loving, humble and gentle) are very bad advertisements for their god. It kind of in a way, but not fully, reinforces my belief in the christian religion as fairy tale. I think I’ll bow out now…

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I can definitely relate. I stopped believing and going to church for awhile because I had health problems and there were many judgmental people there who turned me away from God. I felt liberated at first but I still felt there was something true about Christianity so after a few years I started looking at different churches. I found Catholics and Orthodox to be more loving and easier to be around than the people in the conservative Protestant churches I attended.

You seem like a good person so my advice is to follow your conscience. Taking a break from religion is probably a good idea because praying and asking forgiveness from a God you don't believe in isn't healthy. I did that before I stopped going to church and it made me anxious and depressed. If your conscience later tells you there may be a God, I recommend trying a different church next time. Catholic and Orthodox are much different than Protestant.

lightmyway82 said:

Ok, thanks guys. I can understand where” open heart” "The new black" is coming from and “Samir” . I understand promiscuity is dangerous, but didn’t when I was having the episode. Which had confused me!. I think Samir is right I need to take a break from religion. I wish this never happened to be honest, but I can now understand where other people are coming from who might have made mistakes in life..Thanks so much guys, you have made my day honestly..I feel better after reading your posts.

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I will be praying for you and I second that orthodox church has been a good experience, for me at least, if that's something you want to look into.

My brother also went through a period of doubt and being agnostic when he was having mental issues. He returned, has been a strong Christian ever since, and is doing well. I will be praying that the same happens for you. Bipolar is really tough, but I think it is good for you to see it as an opportunity to understand what other people are going through. If more people had gone through it, they would probably have more understanding.

If you do decide to return, don't look to Christians for a reflection of God's light, look to Christ himself. Reading the scriptures will give you more answers than Christian forums ever will.

I find it really sad that most Christians are not only ignorant of basic scientific knowledge, but also of their own spiritual beliefs.

I'm sorry that you didn't find more helpful answers on this forum. God bless you and you will be in my prayers.

lightmyway82 said:

Ok, I don’t know why I even come to Christian forums. There have been a few really good replies. As I mentioned before I find it difficult to apologise to a so called higher deity I longer firmly believe in, I think I’m actually glad to be liberated from the Christian Religion. I’m pretty certain in myself I believed a lie for many years in my life. And to be honest, I find the majority of Christians (not just here) to be poor examples of what they believe in – most people do which is why they can’t be taken seriously. I understand no one is perfect, but most Christians (exception of the minority who are loving, humble and gentle) are very bad advertisements for their god. It kind of in a way, but not fully, reinforces my belief in the christian religion as fairy tale. I think I’ll bow out now…

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It's fascinating how you describe those posts that cater in some measure to your sin, that make allowances for it, as "good replies." I think as far as God is concerned, any reply that makes a person more at ease with their sin is an evil reply.

Here's the thing about your not believing in God: It doesn't change the reality of God's existence. God's existence isn't contingent upon your belief in Him. He doesn't just disappear when you decide He doesn't exist.

I'm sure if you're compromising with sin in the manner you've described, that walking with God would feel like a very big constraint upon you. But this feeling of constraint is the main reason why so many people want to pretend God does not exist. They want to do things their way, not His. God cramps their sin. And so they tell themselves the fairy tale of God's non-existence in the hope that their unbelief will somehow remove God from the cosmos. He remains, however, and He will judge and punish the wicked and reward the righteous.

I think when you want Christians to treat you in a humble, gentle and loving manner what you are really wanting is a concession to your sin. When you don't get it, when Christians don't encourage you in your sin, you criticize them for being unkind and bad Christians. But as far as the Bible is concerned, such Christians are behaving exactly as they should behave:

Ephesians 5:8-11
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),
10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.

Selah.

lightmyway82 said:

If someone is having a hypersexual episode, has an extremely high libido and seeks casual sexual activities due to a chemical imbalance of the brain. Is that a sin?

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There are two aspects to this question: the objective nature of the act, and the subjective culpability of the actor.

Objectively, sexual acts outside of the bond of marriage are sinful. Period. We can observe behavior, come to right judgement about its objective character, and encourage ourselves and others to not commit such acts.

Subjectively, the culpability of the actor may be mitigated by the extent to which he is unable to control his actions. That's for God to judge; you and I can't discern the heart of someone else.

lightmyway82 said:

If someone is having a hypersexual episode, has an extremely high libido and seeks casual sexual activities due to a chemical imbalance of the brain. Is that a sin?

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That's a difficult question to answer.

"Is it sin?" as a question can be complicated by several factors. Do we only regard conscious acts of sin to be sinful? Some Christians would argue that a sin can only be a sin when one consciously knows they are sinning; other Christians understand sin to be a bit more stubborn and nefarious than that. In many mainstream/mainline churches which corporately confess their sins you'll find that the prayer of contrition mentions sinning "in word, thought, and deed" and "what we have done and what we have left undone"; the fruits of sin aren't only that we actively seek to do bad things consciously, but that we even unconsciously do things which are harmful and destructive. And not just doing or thinking "bad things" but even our failure to do good things.

But when we bring factors such as mental illness it can complicate things even further. Because the question becomes a matter of responsibility; an act beyond a person's control is such that the person themselves is a victim. And that needs to be considered.

Fundamentally, at the end of the day, Christianity isn't about cataloguing sins, or about trying to chart out the minutia of sinful behavior; but rather recognizes the intrinsic sinfulness of humanity's present fallen condition, recognizing that God's Law teaches that we should be good, caring, just, kind, and merciful toward our fellow man and all God's creatures and yet we fail to abide by its precepts; the resolution to this is the grace and mercy of God found in the Gospel. Jesus Christ living, incarnate, crucified, risen, ascended, and coming again.

The Christian life is not one to be spent dwelling on each and every sin, but trusting in the promises of God. And we have the invitation to freely confess our sins, not to dwell in the shame and guilt of our sins, but that we might again turn toward the gracious promises of God in the Gospel. And in the freedom of this grace, seek to do good works for our neighbor, to show compassion, to love others, to be kind, merciful, and just to everyone.

At some point, "Is it sin?" can mask and hide the Gospel from us, by causing us to fail to just freely confess ourselves to God, hear the Gospel, trust in Christ, and push forward in grace to the love of our fellow man.

And as far as mental illness goes, I believe the Church ought to support medical science and medical practitioners in helping those who labor from all disease, whether of the body or the mind. Not judging the actions of those whose illness creates extraneous stress on the mind and body in a condemnatory manner, but extend a friendly and healing hand to those who are in need.

The Church is supposed to be a hospital for the spiritually sick (and that's all of us) not a peanut gallery of condemnation.

-CryptoLutheran

ViaCrucis said:

Some Christians would argue that a sin can only be a sin when one consciously knows they are sinning;

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Via, what a supurb post. Very well rounded. Catholics would say that one cannot commit a MORTAL sin without full knowledge that they are sinning.

You know, I admit I have a double standard. When it comes to other people, I tend to offer them all the grace. When it comes to myself, I hold myself to a hard line. I am also bipolar, so I have wrestled with this question.

I thought I would mention that the sin offerings required in the Old Testament were ALL for unintentional sins. Even when a sin is not deliberately and consciously chosen, we should feel sorry that wrong was done.

The whole chapter of Leviticus 4 (on sin offerings) begins like this:
1. The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Say to the Israelites: 'When anyone sins unintentionally and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD's commands--

Obviously unintentional sin exists. It's like being in a car accident. Your breaks give out, and you rear end someone and cause neck injury. There was no driver intention. There wasn't even driver error. Yet the accident was still your fault.

There have been things I've done in a state of mania that I greatly regret. Things I would have NEVER done in my right mind. I am sure that my mental state mitigates a lot of my responsibility. Nevertheless, what I did was still sin. It still did damage to myself and others. I still felt remorse. I still needed forgiveness. I still received grace.

lightmyway82 said:

Ok, I do thank you for your replies. It reaffirms to me that Christianity does not have an understanding of mental illness (for me personally) therefore I feel confident it’s not true. What also did confuse me is about Jesus casting demons out of people, if that was these days they would have been properly diagnosed by psychiatry.

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Thanks for the verification of your fraudulent nature.

Initially -without seeing your confession here - I would have said, "Since you are admittedly aware of your imbalance causing the symptom, you have a culpability for not doing what you can to correct the difficulty."

But since you have confessed your true intentions, your nature and purpose is clear, which was successful, by the way.

You now have another fraudulent excuse for denying God. Congratulations.

lightmyway82 said:

Ok, I do thank you for your replies. It reaffirms to me that Christianity does not have an understanding of mental illness (for me personally) therefore I feel confident it’s not true. What also did confuse me is about Jesus casting demons out of people, if that was these days they would have been properly diagnosed by psychiatry.

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Just because there are mental illnesses that appear to be demon possession doesn't mean that demon possession isn't real. Here is an article by one of the top notch psychiatrists working with the Vatican. It is his job to rule out mental illness before any exorcism is performed. https://www.washingtonpost.com/post...es-demonic-possession/?utm_term=.faefbd8ed9a2

So I have a question.....if you're hypersexual, married and the sex happens with your wife instead of any random person. So say you wanna have sex 5 times a day for a month.....it wouldn't be a sin right?

Elyonathan85 said:

So I have a question.....if you're hypersexual, married and the sex happens with your wife instead of any random person. So say you wanna have sex 5 times a day for a month.....it wouldn't be a sin right?

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As long as the partner is doing it willingly and is not injured, disrespected or abused in any way.

lightmyway82 said:

has an extremely high libido and seeks casual sexual activities due to a chemical imbalance of the brain. Is that a sin?

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According to the Bible yes.

Saves on a lot of sinning if we find the right one and get married.

M-Bob

2PhiloVoid said:

You're right, Light. Many Christians don't have an understanding, let alone a good one, about mental illness (although, truth be known, I imagine that if you could take a survey of Christians themselves in relation to their own mental states, many of them would be found to be suffering emotionally, maybe without yet having been diagnosed, from varies mental challenges and maladies). How do I know this? I have an 'inkling' about this because my mother was Schizophrenic/Bi-polar Depressive, and while I was growing up trying to deal with her illness, it was the rare Christian that ever had insight into her problem and genuinely reached out to her or befriended her. Because of this, I was often bewildered and at times a bit off-put with fellow Christians who I thought would and should know how to be sensitive to people with emotional needs and challenges, especially with someone who suffered as much as my mom.

However, just because a lot of people who claim to be Christians can be apathetic knuckle-heads doesn't by necessity demonstrate that Christianity is at fault. It just shows that Christians refuse to learn a lot of things about their humanity that God never restricted them from learning.

Blessings,
2PhiloVoid

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I don't think Christians, or just people in general try to be unfeeling or uncaring - but it takes someone who knows and is trained in dealing with mental illness to deal with someone who is mentally ill.

Someone who is unpredictable in their behavior and reactions is terrifying to the average person, who often has family to consider. Mentally ill people can be very dangerous, and that unknown quantity is what makes people shy away, Christian or not.

lightmyway82 said:

Thanks for your input, I used to be a strong Christian. If I rewind months ago and seen where I am “now” I wouldn’t believe me! But can I ask..How can you repent for something you had no control over in your mind? It just doesn’t ring true to me...Also what about times before medication and treatment? Is there a certain point in time when treatment becomes available it then becomes sin? Just so confusing! To be honest I’ve never been through before what I have now. And doctors are now at disagreement with each other (about diagnosis)! So don’t know what to believe..But one thing is for sure I'm no longer certain about christianity.

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Hi, lightmyway. I can relate to your struggle, as I have had to deal with mental illness for the past 20 years. It caused me to doubt my faith, also. I had well intentioned people telling me that getting psychiatric treatment was not going to help me, and that my problem was a spiritual problem only. The truth is, my problem is both spiritual and physical, and I need medication to keep myself from descending into psychosis and depression. There may come a day when God heals me totally, but until that day I need medication to keep me on an even keel.

I say all this so you will know that I feel for you, and you are not alone. But you have to understand that what you are dealing with does have a spiritual aspect to it. Unclean spirits/demons are real. I honestly don't know whether they are causing the chemical imbalance or just using it to exploit a weakness, but if you want to return to some semblance of normalcy, you must put on the full armor of God and engage in a spiritual struggle. Don't let this push you away from God, instead draw near to Him in the midst of it. Prayer and Scripture are our greatest weapons against the enemy, and I truly believe that if you draw near to God, He will draw near to you in the midst of your struggle.

I have to tell you that what we do when we are under the influence of our mental illness is still sin we must fight against and repent of. God does not grade on a curve, but He does know exactly what we are going through, and He has promised to never leave or forsake us. Sadly, when I first started to deal with my illness, I left and forsook Him, and it has taken me over 15 years to regain spiritual ground that I lost in a matter of months. Don't make the same mistake I did just because some people are ignorant of the problems you are facing, don't give up on your faith!

Pray, lightmyway. Pray, and use the word of God to stand against the temptations. You may lose some battles, but God will be there for you even when you fail. He loves you. Don't leave Him, He is your greatest hope in this whole situation. Why forsake Him when you need Him the most?!?

Praying for you;
Michael

lightmyway82 said:

If someone is having a hypersexual episode, has an extremely high libido and seeks casual sexual activities due to a chemical imbalance of the brain. Is that a sin?

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I assume you are implying someone who has bipolar disorder is experiencing hypersexuality due to (hypo)mania. A physiological basis for such a manifestation is something that a person did not bring upon himself regardless if he finds an effective med to treat such a symptom; in other words, it could be suggested that willful disobedience did not precipitate the problem thus the feelings are not a sin of volition. However, there is a deeper issue here - if this person is not saved, his spiritual position before God as an unjustified sinner needs to change regardless of the manic sex. If this person is saved and indwelled with the Holy Spirit, he has eternal life and is justified regardless of the sexual feelings. I will say that if a manic believer is feeling compelled to engage in casual sex, he should go before the Lord to seek help to control the acting out of his sexual urges. And after that he needs to get on some proper meds ASAP! (By the way, I'm bipolar myself).

Open Heart said:

Lightmyway:

I'm bipolar and I've been in such a situation, so here is my two cents worth. I realize that others will disagree.

Yes, it is sin. It is objectively sin. Sex is powerful, and is therefore to be protected within a male/female marriage. Anything outside that, whether it is fornication, adultery, masturbation, gay sex, etc., is objectively sin.

Your question revolves around RESPONSIBILITY. Whether a mental illness resolves us of responsibility. It's a very,very good question, and I'm sorry so many people have not grasped it's importance. For some, they just don't GET IT that a manic state can cause you to do things that you would never otherwise do, and which you greatly regret when you return to sanity, whether its promiscuity, unrestrained buying sprees, foolish business investments, or getting into public fights. They don't know the heartache, guilt, and shame that mania brings when you come back down to reality again. For others, they don't have a concept that consent of will plays a role in responsibility.

I am a Christian. More specifically I am a Catholic, and the Catholic Church has been mulling this question over for 2000 years now and has some good ideas to share about it, even if you aren't Catholic.

First, we know from Scripture that there are two kinds of sin: there is a sin not unto death (aka a venial sin) and a sin unto death (a mortal sin) -- 1 John 5:16. Think of a mortal sin as a sin which seriously cuts off your relationship with God, which compromises your salvation. IOW, the "death" is eternal death. We're not talking about stealing a piece of pizza here. What makes a sin a mortal sin? The Catholic Church has, after hundreds of years of thought and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, come up with the following criteria, which I would like to suggest to you:

1. It has to be an objectively grave matter. That means the sin has to be something serious to start with.
2. The sinner must fully understand that it is a sin.
3. The sinner must fully consent to sin.

In the case of someone in a manic state being promiscuous, there is not full consent to sin. The biochemical nature of the illness mitigates the responsibility. Thus the sin is venial, not mortal.

Which is Catholic-ese for saying, Yes, it IS a sin, but you are not going to lose your salvation over it. You do still need to repent of it, and return to the Lord.

And that Lord is a Lord of Love and grace and mercy. He didn't die on the cross for a bunch of perfect people, but for all of us messed up ones. He lived here among us. He understands.

If you are bipolar or schizoaffective, and want to talk to me about this personally, send me a PM.

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Open Heart how can I pm you?

FYI: This thread started in 2016.

lightmyway82 said:

Thank you for your personal story about your mother being Schizophrenic/Bi-polar Depressive, and some christian attidudes towards mental illness. I can relate to that. I wish I had time to reply to the other posts right now. I want to make it clear my problem isn’t necessarily with Christians, I personally know a few very warm caring loving Christians. My problem is with disbelief during my recent episode, that Christianity/bible/God as a belief system is no longer logical for me. It seems most people are in agreement that having a hypomanic episode indulging in sexual fantasies and acting out on them is a sin. That’s what I’m struggling with, but that was my question, so they are probably right! As it is in alignment with the scriptures. I just no longer believe that Christianity is rational/logical for me personally. I wish the bible mentioned mental illness instead it mentions (supernatural entities) which we now know is not the case!

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Brother mayby you've been given this thorn to glorify god to test your faith if stumble and fall you can pick yourself up god forgives you exercise the fruits of the spirit I know it's hard even if you fail god knows your struggle but god is pleased for those who serve him and you having a special case have a chance to glorify god like no one else can each temptation you fight through brings glory to God fight the good fight it us between you and god no one else understands so give him your worship the best way you can the joy of the lord is your strength anything you can do in your worship from Jesus is appreciated by him you see your weakness as a curse but god sees it as a gift for in your weakness he is our strength it us by the grace of God you are saved nor of works now your free to live for christ to glorify him with your body there is no shame in trying and failing the part that counts is trying as hard as you can to exercise fruits and build a relationship with Jesus everytime you abstain from overwhelming temptation just know you have brought exceeding joy to the lord.amen

lightmyway82 said:

But one thing is for sure I'm no longer certain about christianity.

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Christianity is how God is able.

But now you are discovering how able humans are! May be, you need to be unsure a out humans, including how you have been able to evaluate Christianity > what you have seen to be Christianity could be a misunderstanding.

I offer > if they and you really understood your problem, they and you could be clear about the cure.

God is the One who understands us. And Jesus is our one way to all that is possible with God >

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (in John 14:6)

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." (in Luke 18:27)