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I can see where the whole "Most Holy Theotokos, save us" can be controversial, but I'll add this:
Obviously Christ is the only one who can save us. In the Liturgy, you will hear the request of the Theotokos to intercede for us, and I'd say the same would apply to the statement above. Now of course, I probably wouldn't use that wording, but besides that, it's merely the wording with a different meaning.as soon as we hear "Theotokos, save us" it is immediately followed in the Divine Liturgy by "Through the prayers of the Theotokos, Savior save us." (Not only that, but this part is repeated 3 times.)
The first thing anyone needs to understand is that in the Orthodox Church, there is a profound understanding that salvation comes through Christ and Christ alone … were it not for Him trampling down and defeating death, how could anyone have eternal life?
I didn't mean to be argumentative against you. The fact is that of all the things that Protestants are likely to have trouble with in an Orthodox Church, those relating to the Theotokos are probably going to be the most difficult to resolve, and the most difficult to understand. I've heard it suggested more than once not to even try to explain theology relating to the Theotokos to visitors or in any kind of outreach. There really are fairly simple explanations, but most people won't accept them right off. I know that I didn't accept them "just because" someone said so.
And still, LOL, I am tempted to at least try to explain. To people reading here who probably in some cases have already decided not to understand or accept, so what would be the point?
Part of it involves the encompassing love that is a large part of the Orthodox mindset, as I've experienced it. We really do love one another. It's like the saints of the Church - accepting them as beloved family, just as so many in my own Church have become beloved family to me. Think about it, if Mary really was your own mother, and alive, wouldn't you ask her to pray for you? Wouldn't you run to her for help when you had spiritual problems? And of course, we do believe that those who have died are living. And if Mary is the Mother of Christ, who is the Head of the Church, then she is in a sense a spiritual mother available to us all, just as we might be blessed to choose a wise woman from our own congregation to fulfill that role for us.
And if it's the word "save" that's a problem …
what was Paul saying when he claimed that he had "become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some"? (1 Cor 9:22) Did Paul "save" anyone?
Or James 5:19 - he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death.
Rom 11:14 - if somehow I might move to jealousy my fellow countrymen and save some of them.
Or Jude - And have mercy on some, who are doubting; save others, snatching them out of the fire.
1 Cor 7:16 - For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Paul did not "save" anyone, nor did the believers who these instructions went to. Once again, we simply know it is Christ who saves, so we don't assign any meaning to these Scriptures that are not intended. But prejudices exist, and misunderstandings are widespread, so it is reasonable that people are "on their guard" … and can be quick to assign a meaning to "Theotokos save us" that is not intended.
Thank you both for sharing as you did - as I think that sums up much of the controversy that many do not seem able to handle on the matter. Christ ultimately saves us, even though he uses others as instruments of that process - and just as others are people whom we ask for prayer and note how thankful they are that Christ used them to help rescue us, so it is with Mary. We know Christ is the one whom salvation comes from - and all things are interpreted through that background. We know the Apostles and the Bishops they appointed never condemned people who asked Mary for intercession (as they already knew Christ was the one whom salvation was found in - even as he uses people) - nor was it wrong to note where the saints are all interceeding for us and we can ask them for prayer, knowing their prayers are simply going to Christ.

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