How'd you do it?

[c1ners]

No, I don't have anyone else to talk to. I put myself in this box though, so I don't want a pity party. Thank you all for your adivse, but I'd rather you not feel sorry for me. That is the quickest way to ever get me to shut up. I never want to sadden anyone, and I definately do not want to be a burden. But thank you. Honestly, thank you.

 

[Gimpy]

Believe me, you are no burden. No burden at all.

 

[12345678and9]

you can talk to me anytime about it--i have been through it--

 

[Godisgr8r]

You and I have lived pretty much the same lives. I'm out of my relationship with my ex, but I still deal with the consequences of it. Have you ever heard of narcissism? People like your husband and my ex, think that they are perfect, that they are never wrong, and it's always the other person's fault. It's not you. Believe me! I thought it was me too. I would tell people some of the things he would say and do and they would tell me to leave. I couldn't. God made the way for me. I couldn't do it on my own. I wish you would leave. I'd be willing to let you live with me! I hate that you are dealing with that all the time. I know how it feels.

 

[c1ners]

You and I have lived pretty much the same lives. I'm out of my relationship with my ex, but I still deal with the consequences of it. Have you ever heard of narcissism? People like your husband and my ex, think that they are perfect, that they are never wrong, and it's always the other person's fault. It's not you. Believe me! I thought it was me too. I would tell people some of the things he would say and do and they would tell me to leave. I couldn't. God made the way for me. I couldn't do it on my own. I wish you would leave. I'd be willing to let you live with me! I hate that you are dealing with that all the time. I know how it feels.

I know you would, and I love you for that, but God made me tough. I have days where I don't think I can handle one more second of it, but then I get a back bone (or maybe crawl into my little box?) and accept it. I'll be fine. Honestly.

 

[Godisgr8r]

Yeah, I know you will. I'm tough too. I just feel so bad for you. I can't help it. I want you and Jacqui out of your situations so bad it makes me want to cry.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

Where there's a will, there's a way. My daughter's father (no we were not married) left me in an appartment that I couldn't afford after convincing me to give up half of my maternity leave so he could get money too (I found out recently that he scammed money from his parents at the same time). He had discussed with me that he would help cover bills and everything so I would be ok with the baby and he went off to work at a very prestigeous law firm and I was unemployed with no benefits and he said "oh by the way I can't send any money back to you, I have my own life to look out for". I did the only thing I knew how to do - I hustled. I got out there and searched for a job day and night, got a job and searched for a better one. I had offers to move home with my parents but said no because I'm so stubborn and proud. It's been a diffucult few years and I'm still in a lot of debt but I know that I can survive on my own. I still look for better opportunities for employment but I had to put my degree on hold and I'm trying to get that done too. My sister has the same issue kind of. she's in an abusive relationship and dosen't want to leave because she can't afford it. She says she dosen't understand how I did it. I tell her that you will be suprised what you CAN do when you HAVE to do it. Search out support people, move in with a friend or family member if you have to, but if you really feel the need to leave then it will be possible. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat.

 

[Gimpy]

Where there's a will, there's a way. It's been a diffucult few years and I'm still in a lot of debt but I know that I can survive on my own. I still look for better opportunities for employment but I had to put my degree on hold and I'm trying to get that done too. My sister has the same issue kind of. she's in an abusive relationship and dosen't want to leave because she can't afford it. She says she dosen't understand how I did it. I tell her that you will be suprised what you CAN do when you HAVE to do it. Search out support people, move in with a friend or family member if you have to, but if you really feel the need to leave then it will be possible. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat.

This is so true.

 

[JoeNah]

How did ya'll do it? How did you get the courage up to say enough is enough?

I've been going through my financial status this morning, trying to figure out a way that I could support myself on my own, but there is no way! There is no way out of this, and I hate it!

First of all, I love you, as my sister in Christ! I applaud you, and I know that you are in a difficult situation, through no fault of your own! Be encouraged! The Lord hears your prayers, and He knows all about the valley through which you are going! Jeremiah 32:27 - "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?" Do you honor your husband as head of the family? NO, NOT AT ALL EASY! Ephesians 5:33 - Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." It is obvious that your husband does not love you as he is commanded to love you. Note to men who are husbands who are reading this: READ THE AFOREMENTIONED VERSE IN EPHESIANS, AND FOLLOW THE LORD'S COMMAND! However, in love I say that that does not give you permission to fail to respect him. I know that you have already gone to the Lord, and prayed about this. The Lord commands you to respect your husband. Do this in love to the LORD, not your husband. The Lord understands. He knows what it is like to love those who do not love Him in return! Be the wife that God wants you to be. Pray for him to suffer the consequences of his actions, if he is doing something that he shouldn't. Don't go snooping; just ask the Lord to take control of his life, and to humble him. I know this is hard, and in a way, it sounds unreasonable. But we who are married have an obligation to give 100% effort to our commitment to the relationship, and the fact that the other, isn't, does not release us.
FATHER, In the Name of Jesus, bless c1ners, right now, in a very special way; a way that she knows that it is directly from You, and in response to her situation! Give her peace and inner joy, that only You can give. Forgive us all of our sins, and cover us with your abundant love and mercy and grace. For her husband, deal with him in the way that You know he needs. Do it right now, and in a way that he knows it's You. In Jesus' Name, AMEN

 

[c1ners]

First of all, I love you, as my sister in Christ! I applaud you, and I know that you are in a difficult situation, through no fault of your own! Be encouraged! The Lord hears your prayers, and He knows all about the valley through which you are going! Jeremiah 32:27 - "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?" Do you honor your husband as head of the family? NO, NOT AT ALL EASY! Ephesians 5:33 - Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." It is obvious that your husband does not love you as he is commanded to love you. Note to men who are husbands who are reading this: READ THE AFOREMENTIONED VERSE IN EPHESIANS, AND FOLLOW THE LORD'S COMMAND! However, in love I say that that does not give you permission to fail to respect him. I know that you have already gone to the Lord, and prayed about this. The Lord commands you to respect your husband. Do this in love to the LORD, not your husband. The Lord understands. He knows what it is like to love those who do not love Him in return! Be the wife that God wants you to be. Pray for him to suffer the consequences of his actions, if he is doing something that he shouldn't. Don't go snooping; just ask the Lord to take control of his life, and to humble him. I know this is hard, and in a way, it sounds unreasonable. But we who are married have an obligation to give 100% effort to our commitment to the relationship, and the fact that the other, isn't, does not release us.
FATHER, In the Name of Jesus, bless c1ners, right now, in a very special way; a way that she knows that it is directly from You, and in response to her situation! Give her peace and inner joy, that only You can give. Forgive us all of our sins, and cover us with your abundant love and mercy and grace. For her husband, deal with him in the way that You know he needs. Do it right now, and in a way that he knows it's You. In Jesus' Name, AMEN

Thank you! That was sweet. The only thing I would do differently is to pray to God for my husband to change, not for vengence or for something bad to happen to him, but for his heart to do a complete turn around. Maybe not all at once, but over a short period of time. I can feel and see this change occuring since my first post. And it's all due to the prayers of my many brothers and sisters in Christ here on this forum. God will take care of him, but not in a vengefull way. In a miraculous way! For God is good! All the time!