How would you feel

[BjBarnett]

Hello everyone!

I have a question. this may seem like an odd question but never the less its one id like to have your opinions on

anyway how would you (as Baptist) feel about a Catholic (like me ) marrying into a entirely Baptist family? If you were apart of this family (who is entirely Baptist) what would your feelings be about this? How would you feel about your child (or cousin or niece) marrying in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest? any input here would be greatly appreciated thanks in advanced.

 

[SumTinWong]

Gee I wish I could answer that BJ. I got Aunts and Uncles that I love dearly that are Catholics. I got an Aunt going to Rhema and is a full blown tongue wagging/speaking pentecostal. My mother in law used to a be a nun, and father in law used to be in seminary to become a priest. My Mother is Pentecostal, and my father is a non church going former evangelical, Christian. My sister attends a non-denominational church and myself I am just here in this Baptist church because this is where the Lord put me, otherwise I might be in the Episcopal or Presbyterian church.

Anyway, it aint none of my business what denomination someone marries into in my family. What church they go to factors in less with me than what kind of a person you are. If you are an idiot I am against it, even an idiot Baptist, and Lord yes there are many of them.

Why is Crystals family giving you all a hard time?

 

[jones_of_pbf]

I don't know anything about the Catholic faith, but I'm fine with it (marrying Catholic/Baptist).
My uncle and his immediate family were Catholic, and worshiped Jesus.

 

[BjBarnett]

Gee I wish I could answer that BJ. I got Aunts and Uncles that I love dearly that are Catholics. I got an Aunt going to Rhema and is a full blown tongue wagging/speaking pentecostal. My mother in law used to a be a nun, and father in law used to be in seminary to become a priest. My Mother is Pentecostal, and my father is a non church going former evangelical, Christian. My sister attends a non-denominational church and myself I am just here in this Baptist church because this is where the Lord put me, otherwise I might be in the Episcopal or Presbyterian church.

Anyway, it aint none of my business what denomination someone marries into in my family. What church they go to factors in less with me than what kind of a person you are. If you are an idiot I am against it, even an idiot Baptist, and Lord yes there are many of them.

Why is Crystals family giving you all a hard time?

hehe thanks for the response uncle bud.

Crystals family isnt giving us a hard time visibly yet but im afraid that maybe around the corner as they are very much against the idea of us getting married in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. They have actually indicated that they may not attend the wedding if it was in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. Needless to say they are very much against the idea of raising our pontential children as Catholics so im having reasonable fears that as we marriage becomes more and more likly that the opposition will increase.

so i figured id get the opinions of the Baptist here on Christian forums as away of getting an idea of what to expect and maybe get a better feeling of how to handle the situation.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

We had a similar question earlier this week, but this one has a different spin on it.

If my daughter came to me and said, "I'm marrying a Catholic man and we are having a Mass wedding" I would be disappointed. Why? Because I would know that in order for a priest to marry her and her fiance, she would have to convert. As a mother (not yet though) I would feel sad because I feel families should try and worship together if possible. Converting to Catholicism would prohibit this. Plus, what faith would the child(ren) be raised in? I wouldn't try and talk my daughter out of it, if she felt this was the man God intended for her to be with, but I would urge her to be in serious prayer over it as there are many doctrinal and tradition differences between Baptists and Catholics. How would this effect the marriage?

 

[BjBarnett]

We had a similar question earlier this week, but this one has a different spin on it.

If my daughter came to me and said, "I'm marrying a Catholic man and we are having a Mass wedding" I would be disappointed. Why? Because I would know that in order for a priest to marry her and her fiance, she would have to convert. As a mother (not yet though) I would feel sad because I feel families should try and worship together if possible. Converting to Catholicism would prohibit this. Plus, what faith would the child(ren) be raised in? I wouldn't try and talk my daughter out of it, if she felt this was the man God intended for her to be with, but I would urge her to be in serious prayer over it as there are many doctrinal and tradition differences between Baptists and Catholics. How would this effect the marriage?

oh yeah no doubt raising the pontential children in the Catholic faith would definatly not be well received. I would think that no parent would be to keen on the idea of there grand child being raised in a different faith. How would you guys feel abut that? I mean that definatly has to be a big topic of interest because id say that one be one of the larger concerns of the Baptist family.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

Well, I may be wrong, but from what I understand a priest will not marry a couple unless both parties are Catholic and if they are not married in the Catholic faith, the marriage is not recognized by the church. So the fiance would have to convert anyway before a priest would marry them. At that point I would assume the children would be raised Catholic. Like I said, I am very family oriented I think I'd be a horribly selfish mother LOL I would want my children and grandbabies to attend church with me. This wouldn't be possible if one of my children converted to another sect of Christianity altogether.

 

[SumTinWong]

hehe thanks for the response uncle bud.

Crystals family isnt giving us a hard time visibly yet but im afraid that maybe around the corner as they are very much against the idea of us getting married in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. They have actually indicated that they may not attend the wedding if it was in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. Needless to say they are very much against the idea of raising our pontential children as Catholics so im having reasonable fears that as we marriage becomes more and more likly that the opposition will increase.

so i figured id get the opinions of the Baptist here on Christian forums as away of getting an idea of what to expect and maybe get a better feeling of how to handle the situation.

The situation you are facing might be the same for some ethnic groups. I know that there are some white folk who would not be happy if a black man/woman were to be married into the family. There are people who are Greek who think that they should only be marrying Greeks (saw "my big fat greek wedding" recently) and so on. But those are racial and cultural differences.

There are big differences between these two churches, and perhaps you and/or Crystal will have to answer questions for her family to help them out. I would talk to them and try to find out exactly why they might object and if they have valid concerns (like maybe Crystal drools enough to fill a swimming pool and you are likely to drown in your sleep), then perhaps you can find an alternate idea. Most likely though one of you is going to be the black sheep in their respective families, and you both had better be prepared to say goodbye to friends and families that will object.

If you do not marry in the Catholic church, by a priest, your church and will not be happy for sure, but what about your family? If you marry in the Catholic church, her family will be hurt.

My advice get married by a justice of the peace and minimize the hurt feelings. Go to Vegas and get married int eh Big hunka wedding cake chapel or something

 

[SumTinWong]

Well, I may be wrong, but from what I understand a priest will not marry a couple unless both parties are Catholic and if they are not married in the Catholic faith, the marriage is not recognized by the church.

No not true. The future wife I believe has to sign something or verbally agree to raise the kids Catholic, but the spouse does not have to convert. Sucks to be the kids of they want to be something else I guess.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

No not true. The future wife I believe has to sign something or verbally agree to raise the kids Catholic, but the spouse does not have to convert. Sucks to be the kids of they want to be something else I guess.

Perhaps that's just in cases of Mass weddings? Either way, it is sad for the children.

 

[BjBarnett]

yeah like uncle bud said a priest will marry a Catholic with a non-catholic but the non-catholic would have to agree to raise the children in the Catholic faith.

heres another question what would you guys think about having the kids baptised as infants? her parents have voiced concerns about that (well a little more than concerns but ya know).

is infant baptism a huge "no no" in the Baptist community? I mean would that be something that would be looked down upon and thus the childs baptism wouldnt be valid in the eyes of the baptist family? which I guess it would matter much since baptism is not required for salvation in the Baptist faith (is the right?). but still that could cause some rifts.

I hope that most of the family will accept me and my ways. Crystal is also probably going to convert to the Catholic faith when she becomes of age (18). I feel as though they may take some resentment at me for her conversion as well. anymore opinions? I would appreciate all that I could get.

 

[BjBarnett]

Perhaps that's just in cases of Mass weddings? Either way, it is sad for the children.

well either way they would either be raised in one faith or the other. but the fact of the matter is they would at some point come to an age when they would make there own decision.

would raising a child in the Catholic faith be a bad thing in the Baptist faith?

 

[SumTinWong]

heres another question what would you guys think about having the kids baptised as infants? her parents have voiced concerns about that (well a little more than concerns but ya know).

Whether or not it is a big concern in the Baptist church (it is by the way), it is up to the parents to raise the kids the best way they see fit. But I would not expect the average Baptist grandparent to be thrilled about the idea.

Crystal is also probably going to convert to the Catholic faith when she becomes of age (18).

I would hope so since she is sporting the Catholic icon now

 

[SumTinWong]

would raising a child in the Catholic faith be a bad thing in the Baptist faith?

Yes. Plain and simple it would be the same in your church as well. If you raised the kids in the Baptist church your people would say they are not in the fullness of the faith. You can pretty much expect the same from this side.

 

[BjBarnett]

Whether or not it is a big concern in the Baptist church (it is by the way), it is up to the parents to raise the kids the best way they see fit. But I would not expect the average Baptist grandparent to be thrilled about the idea.

hehe yeah i suspect if i were in there shoes I wouldnt be thrilled either.

 

[aReformedPatriot]

hehe thanks for the response uncle bud.

Crystals family isnt giving us a hard time visibly yet but im afraid that maybe around the corner as they are very much against the idea of us getting married in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. They have actually indicated that they may not attend the wedding if it was in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. Needless to say they are very much against the idea of raising our pontential children as Catholics so im having reasonable fears that as we marriage becomes more and more likly that the opposition will increase.

so i figured id get the opinions of the Baptist here on Christian forums as away of getting an idea of what to expect and maybe get a better feeling of how to handle the situation.

I would not be to supportive of such a marriage personally. The faiths are diametrically opposed. Your kids would have to be raised Catholic no? I would also be strongly opposed there and I would reject infant baptism. This however doesnt mean that I would hate you or anything like that. That would be biblically wrong, but I would have stand up for what I thought. If I believed you were wrong, why would I allow my daughter, or her kids be raised in that.

Hopefully I never have to deal with this issue, however, I would have nipped it in the bud as a parent. I would have ended the relationship early on by saying "No." And thats because either dating carries the ultimate goal of marriage or something else.


How does she feel about these issues?

 

[aReformedPatriot]

I would hope so since she is sporting the Catholic icon now

I kinda figured this would happen. This is why its important to catch things early on.

 

[SumTinWong]

I think that if we are going raise our kids to make informed decisions and they still choose to marry a catholic and raise the kids catholic then who am i to say otherwise? I may ask them some pointed questions, and would make sure they knew what they were doing, but in the end we have to trust that we taught them well enough.

Pollyanna I know...

 

[aReformedPatriot]

I think that if we are going raise our kids to make informed decisions and they still choose to marry a catholic and raise the kids catholic then who am i to say otherwise? I may ask them some pointed questions, and would make sure they knew what they were doing, but in the end we have to trust that we taught them well enough.

Pollyanna I know...

I suppose theres nothing you can do when they are older, but they if they are young enough, start dating in high school, then you can change things (as in this case, shes not 18). But im just obstinate

 

[SumTinWong]

Oh sure that will work How long has it been since you were a teen? My mom said don't do it, I did it.