How to tell my Orthodox family that I am Protestant?

[KremLina]

My family is strictly Orthodox. We live somewhere where to be Protestant is equal to be in a sect. I am afraid to tell them (only my mother knows, but she thinks it is a phase and she advised me not to tell, which now, a year later, results in constant fear). Whenever this subject pops up my family disregards everything related to it. One time somehow I tried to tell them and the result was me crying and everybody yelling, ater that they automatically assumed that I am no longer a Protestant and that I never was. In fact for them the whole situation was me peaking behind the fence but never crossing over. So here I am, looking for an advice. Thank you in advance.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

The fact of the matter is that the reason why your family fought with you on this issue is due to love. I would not suggest sitting down and discussing it with them, but go about your normal day. Don't hide your Protestantism though. If they wish to bring it up, then answer them to the best of your abilities, so that maybe they can understand.
It will be difficult though, for you must keep a calm head and turn the other cheek if they become irate. A screaming match between both sides does not help anyone.
In time, hopefully both sides can grow in the Lord and maybe understand each other's viewpoints. Remember though that the Lord said He came to bring disunity in families -Luke 12:53.

 

[~Anastasia~]

My family is strictly Orthodox. We live somewhere where to be Protestant is equal to be in a sect. I am afraid to tell them (only my mother knows, but she thinks it is a phase and she advised me not to tell, which now, a year later, results in constant fear). Whenever this subject pops up my family disregards everything related to it. One time somehow I tried to tell them and the result was me crying and everybody yelling, ater that they automatically assumed that I am no longer a Protestant and that I never was. In fact for them the whole situation was me peaking behind the fence but never crossing over. So here I am, looking for an advice. Thank you in advance.

Hello, and welcome to CF!

Prayers for you. I am in the same situation, in reverse. My family is Protestant, and I have become Orthodox.

What I can say is that in my case, there is a great deal of misunderstanding about what Orthodoxy believes. They (my family) are misinformed about Catholicism, and assume I may believe those things.

It has been impossible to "justify" my faith to them. Such conversations never go well. But what I have found to be beneficial is to discuss spiritual matters with them, particularly where I know they will understand the Orthodox point of view and on those many things we agree on. They are assured that I am "still Christian" and they slowly understand me a bit better.

I will say though, that since I understand both sides of the coin, it is probably more difficult to justify giving up Orthodoxy in the eyes of others, and what you say about where you live probably makes it worse. You don't say what kind of Protestant - there are vast differences among them. What kind can make a difference.

But in my experience, it's much better to simply discuss spiritual truths, or discuss Scripture, etc. without highlighting any differences. I'd be happy to try to offer more direct answers, if I can and if you like, if I knew more about the particulars. Though I am coming from the opposite point of view. It's difficult for me to imagine choosing to give up the Sacraments.

God be with you, you have my prayers.

And again, welcome to CF!

 

[rockytopva]

I believe in the seven churches as congregations that came down through the ages...

Ephesus - Messianic - Beginning with the Apostle to the Circumcision, Peter
Smyrna - Martyr - Beginning with the Apostle to the Un-Circumcision, Paul
Pergamos - Orthodoxy formed in this time... Pergos is a tower... Needed in the dark ages
Thyatira - Catholicism formed in this time - The spirit of Jezebel is to control and to dominate.
Sardis - Protestantism formed in this time- A sardius is a gem - elegant yet hard and rigid
Philadelphia - Wesleyism formed in this time - To be sanctioned is to acquire it with love.
Laodicea - Charismatic movement formed in this time - Beginning with DL Moody, the first to make money off of ministry

The spirit of Jezebel, to control and to dominate, was big in Christianities mid ages. Unfortunately it can still exist in some congregations.

 

[seashale76]

Hello, and welcome to CF!

Prayers for you. I am in the same situation, in reverse. My family is Protestant, and I have become Orthodox.

What I can say is that in my case, there is a great deal of misunderstanding about what Orthodoxy believes. They (my family) are misinformed about Catholicism, and assume I may believe those things.

It has been impossible to "justify" my faith to them. Such conversations never go well. But what I have found to be beneficial is to discuss spiritual matters with them, particularly where I know they will understand the Orthodox point of view and on those many things we agree on. They are assured that I am "still Christian" and they slowly understand me a bit better.

I will say though, that since I understand both sides of the coin, it is probably more difficult to justify giving up Orthodoxy in the eyes of others, and what you say about where you live probably makes it worse. You don't say what kind of Protestant - there are vast differences among them. What kind can make a difference.

But in my experience, it's much better to simply discuss spiritual truths, or discuss Scripture, etc. without highlighting any differences. I'd be happy to try to offer more direct answers, if I can and if you like, if I knew more about the particulars. Though I am coming from the opposite point of view. It's difficult for me to imagine choosing to give up the Sacraments.

God be with you, you have my prayers.

And again, welcome to CF!

I was/am also in a similar boat. My parents were livid when I gave up being an Evangelical Protestant to become Orthodox. I simply read up on what I believe and know why I believe it- and am always ready to explain (often repeatedly) to them when asked. I got over my fear and simply decided my faith was more important than any reaction they'd have. I won't say they've come around exactly, but things have gotten better (it's been twelve years after all). My mother did once state she thought I was going to hell, but I don't know if that's changed. My husband's retired Protestant pastor grandfather essentially told my he husband was lost and on the way to hell for becoming Orthodox not long before he passed away.

I go to church with a guy whose Protestant mother had a melt down and left their baptism in a huff and with a married couple where their parents cut contact for a long time.

Interestingly enough, my FIL (a former Southern Baptist minister that has his doctoral degree from the SBTS) became Orthodox around two years ago.

Anyway, the point is OP, is your faith more important to you than the reaction you'll get from your family?

 

[jimmyjimmy]

My family is strictly Orthodox. We live somewhere where to be Protestant is equal to be in a sect. I am afraid to tell them (only my mother knows, but she thinks it is a phase and she advised me not to tell, which now, a year later, results in constant fear). Whenever this subject pops up my family disregards everything related to it. One time somehow I tried to tell them and the result was me crying and everybody yelling, ater that they automatically assumed that I am no longer a Protestant and that I never was. In fact for them the whole situation was me peaking behind the fence but never crossing over. So here I am, looking for an advice. Thank you in advance.

I understand your position because I left Roman Catholicism for Protestantism when I was 17, and my family persecuted me relentless for it. My solution was to pray fervently for them, and it worked. They've since joined me. That's right. People who said that I was in a cult and going to burn in Hell for leaving the RCC, left the RCC as well!

Pray, and leave them in God's hands.

 

[Adstar]

My family is strictly Orthodox. We live somewhere where to be Protestant is equal to be in a sect. I am afraid to tell them (only my mother knows, but she thinks it is a phase and she advised me not to tell, which now, a year later, results in constant fear). Whenever this subject pops up my family disregards everything related to it. One time somehow I tried to tell them and the result was me crying and everybody yelling, ater that they automatically assumed that I am no longer a Protestant and that I never was. In fact for them the whole situation was me peaking behind the fence but never crossing over. So here I am, looking for an advice. Thank you in advance.

I know how you feel.. I have a catholic family and i became a Christian and it is hard because they see you as just being their son, brother, not as a person who has studied the Bible.. If i start talking about religion they just cut me off and shut down the conversation.. I have some in my family who are now atheists who hate me because they know i am a serious Christian.. But some are what is called Lax catholics who are not devout catholics so they seem not to care much as long as i don't join the Seventh Day Adventists Mormons or islam they are ok with my decision.. But my dad is a devout catholic,, like hard core catholic, so he cannot accept my decision so things are tense with him when we discuss religion..

All You can do is live your life as a Christian and if the topic comes up just be open about your Faith and do your best to enplane why you believe what you believe.. I encourage you to get into the Gospels and become knowledgeable in the scriptures.. That way you will be able to give an answer to most of the points they bring up..

If the average Eastern Orthodox believer is like the average catholic believer then their Bible knowledge will be severely limited.. So you will be able to cut their points off with scripture.. I have never had any trouble defending my faith against catholics that challenge it..

 

[All4Christ]

If the average Eastern Orthodox believer is like the average catholic believer then their Bible knowledge will be severely limited.. So you will be able to cut their points off with scripture.. I have never had any trouble defending my faith against catholics that challenge it..

As an Orthodox Christian (who used to be Protestant), I want to clarify that Orthodox Christians are well-educated in Scripture. Certainly it is different for some than others, but that is the case in all churches.

ETA: Clarified based on discussion below.

 

[Albion]

Hi, KremLina.

My view is that "Quid" was on the right track with his advice. It's not the obvious or expected reply (which I assume would be to tell you to sit down with the family and make your case, etc), but it's good advice.

Don't live in fear but don't either hide your convictions or wear them on your sleeve all the time. Just go about your life without retracting anything you said about becoming Protestant yet without explaining it all the time and certainly without being specific.

If something comes up about your beliefs, be truthful but concise. Don't talk Orthodoxy down; don't preach to the family members; always talk as though we Christians don't know all that God has in store for those who love him, but we all want to do what's right, etc. In other words, whatever is basically applicable to Christians in general.

 

[All4Christ]

Hi, KremLina.

My view is that "Quid" was on the right track with his advice. It's not the obvious or expected reply (which I assume would be to tell you to sit down with the family and make your case, etc), but it's good advice.

Don't live in fear but don't either hide your convictions or wear them on your sleeve all the time. Just go about your life without retracting anything you said about becoming Protestant yet without explaining it all the time and certainly without being specific.

If something comes up about your beliefs, be truthful but concise. Don't talk Orthodoxy down; don't preach to the family members; always talk as though we Christians don't know all that God has in store for those who love him, but we all want to do what's right, etc. In other words, whatever is basically applicable to Christians in general.

I agree with this as well.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

My family is strictly Orthodox. We live somewhere where to be Protestant is equal to be in a sect. I am afraid to tell them (only my mother knows, but she thinks it is a phase and she advised me not to tell, which now, a year later, results in constant fear). Whenever this subject pops up my family disregards everything related to it. One time somehow I tried to tell them and the result was me crying and everybody yelling, ater that they automatically assumed that I am no longer a Protestant and that I never was. In fact for them the whole situation was me peaking behind the fence but never crossing over. So here I am, looking for an advice. Thank you in advance.

Hello KremLina,

I think what would help you reconcile with your family is for you to get beyond wanting to identify yourself as a particular type of Christian (that is, Protestant). All you need to be is "Christian."

However, your family are Christians too; they are Christians as far as they actually live a life comporting with the social, moral and theological things that Jesus and His Apostles taught and which are reflected in the New Testament.

If I were in your position, I wouldn't bring attention to the idea that I'm wanting to be Christian in a different way. So, rather than demanding to your family that they respect your identity, demonstrate to them instead what being a FULL DISCIPLE of CHRIST really means in your everyday life.

Also, you can encourage them to discuss the contents of the New Testament with you, bringing to their attention (in a loving way) those things about our faith that they may be ignoring. This is important because despite their own identification as 'Orthodox' in Bulgaria, this should not be a free pass for them to ignore the New Testament----because it is their New Testament too.

So, in sum, don't bring up your Protestant identity. It's not needed. Just BE the kind of Christian you know Jesus wants us to be, and patiently love your family to show them greater love and those things in Scripture they may be missing...................

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[~Anastasia~]

If the average Eastern Orthodox believer is like the average catholic believer then their Bible knowledge will be severely limited.. So you will be able to cut their points off with scripture.. I have never had any trouble defending my faith against catholics that challenge it..

I have no idea what "the average Catholic believer" is like as I know very few, and I'm not sure why you would make this comparison, but an Orthodox Christian who pays any attention at all in Church is going to hear a LOT of Scripture - we also have the expectation of reading every day from different parts of Scripture, and most parishes here have Bible study in addition to that.

I was raised Baptist, and they likewise tend to read and learn a lot of Scripture, so I already was very familiar with it. But the Orthodox Christians I know now are just as knowledgeable (though in person they are not quick to jump in to answer questions or lecture, for the sake of not pridefully putting themselves forth as an "expert"), but in talking to them, they are quite well-versed, for the most part.

I actually find a few Protestant groups tend to be the ones to put less emphasis on Scripture (certainly not all, as I mentioned, Baptists are one group that study diligently).

 

[Adstar]

As an Orthodox Christian (who used to be Protestant), I can say that this is false. Certainly it is different for some than others, but that is the case in all churches.

What did i say that is false?

 

[Bumble Bee]

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