How to tell My Husband?

[gracepaints]

I really don't think you should be talking about your sex life to other men. Sorry, just my opinion. You need a female mentor to talk to, not a man.

Goodness, then I'm glad you've never seen some of the other stuff discussed around here in the past. This used to be pretty standard fare and I think she is looking for a man's opinion. A woman cannot always answer about how a man will react.

 

[MikeK]

He has improved even some of his skills too, well you know what I am saying. So with all his efforts in changing I don't think I need to demand alot more right now. I don't want him to feel kicked or pressured by me. Maybe my sex desires are selfish.
Do you understand where I am coming from?

Yes I do. You are wise not to push him too hard because it will almost certainly create resentment. I'm happy that you had the strength as a couple to work together to make things better. That's even more reason to believe he'll be okay with your confesion. Just lay it out there, tell him you're sorry and that it's not a reflection on him and that you're going to do your best to avoid it in the future. You are wise to wait until he has whatever particular stressful hurdle is in front of him out of the way though. Good luck and God Bless you.

I really don't think you should be talking about your sex life to other men. Sorry, just my opinion. You need a female mentor to talk to, not a man.

Yeah. We're all predators.

 

[stonek2]

Goodness, then I'm glad you've never seen some of the other stuff discussed around here in the past. This used to be pretty standard fare and I think she is looking for a man's opinion. A woman cannot always answer about how a man will react.

I did try not to say too many details but I came here for both sides of opinions. Although maybe I am not the norm among females. I do like everyones imput and everyone has been very nice to me, I wasn't sure how it was going to go.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

You are as normal as the women I know. Most of them are lustbuckets (not accusing you of being a lustbucket, you get me?)

 

[gracepaints]

I did try not to say too many details but I came here for both sides of opinions. Although maybe I am not the norm among females. I do like everyones imput and everyone has been very nice to me, I wasn't sure how it was going to go.

You're fine. A more normal that you would think. I felt the same way and I'm always meeting women around here with higher drives than their husbands. Make me feel a lot better. I thought something was wrong with me for a while. LOL.

 

[c1ners]

Yeah. We're all predators.

I never said you were.

StoneK2 I'd like to invite you over to the womens ministery here on CF. Check it out. The women are very nice and helpful. And by the way.....I wasn't meaning to be rude. I should have known better than to post down here.

 

[stonek2]

You're fine. A more normal that you would think. I felt the same way and I'm always meeting women around here with higher drives than their husbands. Make me feel a lot better. I thought something was wrong with me for a while. LOL.

gracepaints, Thank you for saying that it is good to know I am not the only one.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

I barely keep up with my GF!

 

[stonek2]

I barely keep up with my GF!

GF=Girlfriend?

 

[WriterMom]

I've never dealt with this issue like you are dealing with it. BUT, I have been on the the end where your husband is. My husband has dealt with porn issues off and on for years. Most of the time I just "found out" on my own.

If this was something you were dealing with on a regular basis I would recommend telling him. However, since it is a one time deal, it might just hurt his feelings. (Hurt feelings take as long to get over as the guilt you're feeling...maybe longer).

I agree with the other posts....you really need to talk to your hubby about issues that are obviously between you. But I wouldn't just come out and "confess" your time on the internet. You may be opening a can of worms that you can't get back closed. Deal with the REAL issues. The porn you viewed was only how you were dealing with it. It isn't THE ISSUE.

Just my opinion. Good luck and forgive yourself. God already has.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

GF=Girlfriend?

Indeed.

 

[stonek2]

You are as normal as the women I know. Most of them are lustbuckets

I barely keep up with my GF!

Is that because all the female lustbuckets are chasing you down?
It's Friday so I thought we need a laugh here.

 

[stonek2]

Just lay it out there, tell him you're sorry and that it's not a reflection on him and that you're going to do your best to avoid it in the future.

I know it is in no way a reflection of him whatsoever and I do regret it. Nothing means more to me than being with him and the intimacy we share as a married couple. I want to work hard at not allowing this to tempt me any further too.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Is that because all the female lustbuckets are chasing you down?
It's Friday so I thought we need a laugh here.

Just the one lust bucket at a time does me fine The thing about lust, is if you get it right, there's a whole lotta love and genuine life mixed in there!

 

[hisbloodformysins]

I feel terrible and so disappointed in myself.
For some reason and for the life of me I don't know what or why, but I looked at porn on the internet.
Erotic stories was my first temptation and then next thing I know I am looking at full porn. I have looked at it before a year ago, but nothing at all since.
Why, why did I do this, because this is not how I want to live. So, I have failed God, myself and my husband.

I feel sick and I don't even want to tell my husband though I feel I should. I looked at it and I know it was wrong. I feel like I could throw up, sorry to say that.

Any advice?

Tell him the way you just told us.... that you are dissapointed with yourself about something and feel you should tell him, then tell him what you did.... maybe he'll feel more free to confide in you about his own personal things...

HB

 

[stonek2]

Tell him the way you just told us.... that you are dissapointed with yourself about something and feel you should tell him, then tell him what you did.... maybe he'll feel more free to confide in you about his own personal things...

HB

I can't wait to sit down with him and talk. I thought we could this weekend but he is working on this project for work that now has taken up the entire weekend. He has apologized to me for being so busy and I know it will all be over soon. I don't want to have a serious talk when he has so much pressure on him, that is the only reason I waitng.

 

[stonek2]

I talked to my husband some, but we will continue to takl about this some more. He did make a comment about there is more to life than sex. There are other things that are important.

l

 

[Redguard]

I talked to my husband some, but we will continue to takl about this some more. He did make a comment about there is more to life than sex. There are other things that are important.

l

With the conversation so far, are you finding his reaction to be what you expected? Or not as bad?

 

[stonek2]

With the conversation so far, are you finding his reaction to be what you expected? Or not as bad?

I guess it's not that bad, but I am being sensitive. Like I don't like the question that he asked me..... Is sex all I think about?

 

[Redguard]

I guess it's not that bad, but I am being sensitive. Like I don't like the question that he asked me..... Is sex all I think about?

You know... the fact that there are so many instances where women with desireable sex drives are paired up with men who would ask an atrocious question like, "Is sex all you think about" PROVES to me that God has a wicked sense of humour.