How To Stop Self Harm When You Can't Control It

[Sugar Plum]

How do you stop self harm when you can't even control it?

I am like not aware of what I am doing when I do self harm the majority of the time,if I was I certainly wouldn't do it. I mainly hit the majority of the time. I started doing that when I was 21,and got in trouble for throwing things since they usually seemed to know when I did so I started to do that instead,in 2003 I did start cutting myself at times but I never ever bleed so mine isn't obvious.

This is going to sound strange but it's only do to an online enemy that I even started talking about the fact that I do this online the helpful one who no longer bothers me now. Around the time of hurricane Ivan is when God showed me he wanted me to talk about it with someone at church I did tell the person,and I did talk with him about it but not all the details as I didn't have the courage to,and when I did it was to late because he was leaving to go to another church,I have told my Sunday School teacher that I do but that is all not the details though. This year it has really gotten out of control.

My family don't know I do nor will they ever be told because I'm to afraid of the consequences,before hand they have to understand I'd never lie about being depressed.

I have a lot of frustration in my life but so far I have never done it in front of anyone.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Hi Sugar Plum,

sorry it's taken so long to reply to your post! From reading your post you sound frustrated . When you say that you can’t control the self-harm, is there a point beforehand where you know that it’s going to happen? The first part is to try and identify what it is that triggers you and stay as far away from those triggers as possible. Talking to someone, as you’ve already done, can also be very helpful. If your Sunday School teacher is somebody you can trust, I would suggest telling them a little more if you can.

In the end, the internet can be great for talking to people, but having someone in real life is far better (even if telling them can be a lot more terrifying – it’s worth it). I would also suggest talking to your doctor about it if you can. They are usually the best people to go to when you need to find out what the next steps are.

It’s great to have you in this part of the forum and if you ever want to talk, we’re always here (or you can PM me if you want ).

Shalom,
Steffi

 

[Sugar Plum]

Hi Sugar Plum,

sorry it's taken so long to reply to your post! From reading your post you sound frustrated . When you say that you can’t control the self-harm, is there a point beforehand where you know that it’s going to happen? The first part is to try and identify what it is that triggers you and stay as far away from those triggers as possible. Talking to someone, as you’ve already done, can also be very helpful. If your Sunday School teacher is somebody you can trust, I would suggest telling them a little more if you can.

In the end, the internet can be great for talking to people, but having someone in real life is far better (even if telling them can be a lot more terrifying – it’s worth it). I would also suggest talking to your doctor about it if you can. They are usually the best people to go to when you need to find out what the next steps are.

It’s great to have you in this part of the forum and if you ever want to talk, we’re always here (or you can PM me if you want ).

Shalom,
Steffi

I am. When I hit the majority of the time there isn't,with the hitting only a couple of times have I had the urge to do it before but mostly I haven't,some of the time with the cutting there is no urge before hand but this year when I do there have been urges before hand a lot of the time,there are times I can fight the urge to do so especially if I'm not home,and people are around but when the urge is really strong I can never fight it,in June I started getting urges to want to cut when I touched a sharp knife,the only time I do that is when I am doing my job of emptying the dishwasher not only that I see it happen. I once dreamed about doing self harm. She is but she wouldn't understand how I can't just stop doing it.

Only thing when it comes to that I really got to becareful because of how my online enemy is,after all he did falsely report me to human resources saying I posted something I didn't on another Christian message board,as if that wasn't bad enough human resources believed the lie,and claimed that I had done that,and I had a real difficult time convincing my parents,brother,and sister-in-law that I never said that because they are like human resources would never make a mistake about something. I got in to serious trouble for it,not only that I got in trouble for posting my family problems in the Prayer Request forum on that forum,I was shocked by my parents behaviour in that. The lady from human resources told me that she didn't want me posting any of my problems online at all not understanding why I do,and stuff instead do a journal offline but I know that will only make me feel worse unless I go to someone with it. I feel more at ease talking about this online besides if my family found this stuff out I would be in a lot of trouble because they'd think I'd lie about it for attention. (They do think I say I am depressed for attention.)

I would never be able to tell my doctor because either my mom or my sister-in-law are always with me,and I'd get in trouble if I did with either of them there for even saying that,besides I'd never say it in front of my family.

I got to figure out who God wants me to go offline then go to who God wants me to about this offline.

The last thing I need is my family knowing about this. I would feel a lot more safer knowing my computer didn't have a keylogger on it that my online enemy put on it,knowing he wasn't watching everything I do on my computer since he is responsible for the report in July close to my birthday.

It's not an easy task making sure my family doesn't find out I self harm. It's why I'm so careful who I tell offline.

I am fortunate that my parents don't seem to visit forums,and don't visit the Christian forums I post at.

Okay.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Hi Sugar Plum
It helps that you know some of your triggers and that you can stay away from them a lot of the time . It’s true that they can’t always be avoided, but it can reduce the risk. My next question would be – do you have distractions that you can turn to when you feel triggered to self harm? Some people journal, paint or sing. A wonderful suggestion that I’ve read on here is breaking sticks when calmer methods don’t work. Going for a jog and other physical activity is also great – instead of hitting yourself, try running or punching a bag instead.

However while these are other ways of dealing with the triggers, I still strongly suggest trying to see someone professional if it’s at all possible. I don’t know your situation with your mother and sister-in-law, but I truly believe it needs to be a priority .

With your Sunday School teacher: not everybody understands self-harm…and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to help though. If you can, pray with her and get her to pray for you – prayer is a wonderful thread of hope that connects us to our Father . I also want to encourage you with 2 Peter 1:4. It says:

In this way He has given us the very great and precious gifts He promised, so that by means of these gifts you may escape from the destructive lust that is in the world, and may come to share the Divine nature.

It’s not easy – in fact stopping from self-harming may be one of the hardest things you may ever do – but He really does give us the strength and courage we need to succeed. I will also pray for you and I’m sending you a giant hug .

Shalom,
Steffi