For a few months now I have been feeling as though it is time for me to step down from the worship team. I attend a small town church with maybe 50 people in attendance right now. I'm the only keyboard player right now and I've been playing for almost 10 years in my church. Recently we got a new Pastor and he changed the worship team "rules" quite drastically which included "removing" me from worship leading(I'm really not sure why, it was never explained). There was a lot of confusion and upset when the changes occured amongst my family who are also a large part of the worship team as the church is so small. I decided that during the tumolt wouldn't be the greatest time to quit as I didn't want to inscite people with all the excess emotions floating around. I had tried to step down before and my mother said, "God wouldn't tell you to stop using your talent." Which I disagreed with. I feel like I'm in a tight corner and I've been searching my heart to make sure that my reasons for stepping down are legitimate. I don't want to quit to spite someone or leave them without and If I'm sure my resolve will be stronger. We have 4 worship leaders all of which use me to play so I feel more like I have a duty to them than anything else. I feel like there are going to be a lot of questions I don't have answers to. I don't know how to step down and remain in the church as I know I will disappoint a lot of people. I also don't want to be responsible for others quiting the worship band because of my actions. Any suggestions? Tomorrow I'm fasting and praying because I feel like this needs to be addressed as it causes me great anxiety. I know my husband would support me indefinately but it's everyone else I have to stand my own against...
How to step down from the worship team?
- Thread starter Tourniquet_Fauns
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redeemedbygrace24
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The Lord wouldn't want you to be stressed out or anxious over this. So don't be so hard on yourself. In life, you won't be able to please everyone all of the time (I'm still learning this myself). I would pray and ask the Lord for direction as he knows what's best. If you feel at peace in leaving, the Lord could be directing your spiritual gifts into other areas in the church. Don't feel that you will be isolated or that you don't belong in your church due to something like this.
What I'm not getting is why are you putting pressure on yourself when the Pastor has personally removed you from Leading, it's his decision and not yours. If people ask, you could say that you are being led in new directions which is true because the Lord is always leading and guiding us
What I'm not getting is why are you putting pressure on yourself when the Pastor has personally removed you from Leading, it's his decision and not yours. If people ask, you could say that you are being led in new directions which is true because the Lord is always leading and guiding us
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Pastor just removed me from being a worship leader, I'm still "allowed" for lack of a better word to play on the worship teams as I'm the only keyboard player and our piano and organ players don't play modern music. So If I step down, there is no 'modern' piano player. I'll be leaving them without.
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redeemedbygrace24
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If it is making you unhappy and you are ready for something different, maybe you could suggest a new player who plays modern music to backfill you so they won't be left without it.
However, in life you we can't carry false burdens, and I believe this is a false burden you're carrying because you feel a sense of guilt. The Lord doesn't condemn us so please watch this. I can guarantee you that the worship team will continue on whether people come or go because it's a way of life. I'm sure you are an integral part of their team, but you shouldn't be so stressed about this.
Whether you decide to stay or leave, they will be fine.
However, in life you we can't carry false burdens, and I believe this is a false burden you're carrying because you feel a sense of guilt. The Lord doesn't condemn us so please watch this. I can guarantee you that the worship team will continue on whether people come or go because it's a way of life. I'm sure you are an integral part of their team, but you shouldn't be so stressed about this.
Whether you decide to stay or leave, they will be fine.
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humblewatchman
Two greatest commandements are to love.
I would like to suggest that you talk personally "one on one" to the pastor and get the answers on this issue of why he did what he did. It needs to be settled in your own mind. Please don't rely on someone else passing on accurately that kind of information, as people tend to hear only what "they" want to hear. I feel the echo of concern in this arena for you....and maybe others in your family too.
Pastor could have felt that the worship team had too many members from one family in it and that sometimes will cause others to not join in. He may have just done it to shake things up to stimulate the idea that things are going to change now that he has arrived....Or he may have had a real problem with the way it was being done. No matter what his reason is, it needs to be very clear to you so that you are not assuming "anything". You don't want to make an important decision based on false assumptions.
Sometimes we just need a change in our lives and sometimes we are simply called out to do other things, and either scenario is ok. It is really nice to see your heartfelt concern for your church members and the rest of the band, and this reveals that your heart is right before the Lord. If you decide that you want to leave the band (and the Lord knows how long 10 years feels to us and He appreciates what you have given) it would be best for all (including yourself) to find your replacement first. I think that the Lord would help you in that too. I want to say along with them...thank you for your years of loyal service.
Pastor could have felt that the worship team had too many members from one family in it and that sometimes will cause others to not join in. He may have just done it to shake things up to stimulate the idea that things are going to change now that he has arrived....Or he may have had a real problem with the way it was being done. No matter what his reason is, it needs to be very clear to you so that you are not assuming "anything". You don't want to make an important decision based on false assumptions.
Sometimes we just need a change in our lives and sometimes we are simply called out to do other things, and either scenario is ok. It is really nice to see your heartfelt concern for your church members and the rest of the band, and this reveals that your heart is right before the Lord. If you decide that you want to leave the band (and the Lord knows how long 10 years feels to us and He appreciates what you have given) it would be best for all (including yourself) to find your replacement first. I think that the Lord would help you in that too. I want to say along with them...thank you for your years of loyal service.
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Reading your post, I'm trying to understand if you're having a talk with the pastor to aid in your decision or are you following the leading of The Holy Spirit? Because if you've prayed about it and you believe that Yahweh's leading you to step down, then of course that's what you need to do. Yes, thanks for 10 years of service! But you would still need to advise the pastor of your decision so he can decide whose going to be the replacement.
Regarding hearing Yahweh's voice - One of the hardest things to do is hear Him and then we start rationalizing. Sometimes we conclude it couldn't be Him because it doesn't make sense to us.
Just one more thought - since you're still hurt by the pastor's decision, how much is that playing in this decision? Encouraging you to forgive him to the point where there's no hurt before proceeding.
Regarding hearing Yahweh's voice - One of the hardest things to do is hear Him and then we start rationalizing. Sometimes we conclude it couldn't be Him because it doesn't make sense to us.
Just one more thought - since you're still hurt by the pastor's decision, how much is that playing in this decision? Encouraging you to forgive him to the point where there's no hurt before proceeding.
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The pastor also needs to take responsibility here. Not just you. Will you stay there after stepping down? If so, then step down graciously. Don't feel the need to explain yourself. Such a decision should be peaceful otherwise something else is happening which could even be God teaching you a new lesson in adversity.
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pappastratos
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I feel for you, we went thru this but we were driven out by snakes that were allowed in the church. They had an adgenda to make it their own church. The pastor did not see it or did not think there was anything wrong. Tried to talk to him about it, but we were given smart ellic answers. When we told him that we were leaving, he wasked well, when will be your last Sunday? No begging us to stay, work things out, etc,,I was the keyboard player, wife was paid staff worship leader.
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L
LeadWorship
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Wow, Pappa - that sounds like what tried to happen to me, only just a couple months ago. To read that story, skip down to the "HEY PAPPA!!" part.
First things first. Tourniquet, I'd love to hear what actually happened, as I'm sure it's already happened. Reading your post, I can relate, and see many emotions and feelings regarding this. You mentioned having a feeling that you need to step down, was this before or after the new Pastor moved in? See, God might have already been trying to prepare you for something greater, and He might need you free from other things to allow them to happen, i.e. steppind down off the platform (so we call it in our church).
However, there's a bit of irritation and perhaps anger when you say "rules" and "removing" there. It's hard not to be irritated and upset when your family is also "wallowing in it" with you. "Oh he removed me, I don't know why, but he did!" Be sure you don't let bitterness creep in - it's deadly.
Now, for your God-given talent. He has used you for the last 10 years, but didn't he use you before? He didn't give you this gift to only use one facet of it. Think outside the box about how God can use it - perhaps He's been training you for a different race.
The truth is this: If God is leading you, there's no need for explanation. I called my Pastor last October and said, "God is telling me that 'it's time to step down' ". Mind you, I was the ordained Worship Pastor who lead the singing, lead the music, managed the 30 member team, structured each service, setup the sound, lights, live streaming, managed the website, cut dvds and cds on request, fixed the computers at the church, and was there anytime the doors were open. I am also married, have 2 kids, and work a full time job. Needless to say he was more than upset, but never questioned me because he KNEW I hear from God, and from my 6 years with him, he also knew that when God said "jump", I started jumping until told otherwise.
There's a peace that comes while you remain in His will. Seek Him and you'll find peace. Family won't always give it to you and sometimes they'll even help you harbor ill-will and bad feelings. Do you have any update? I'm eager to hear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HEY PAPPA!!
lol here's my story -
I announced my stepping down in October. God clearly told me to do this. Now, worship was going well - VERY well, everyone was enjoying it, God's presence was always with us - yet I started to feel unsatisfied, almost empty, or a shell of myself, while I stood on stage leading. I wrestled with it for several months. I even called a meeting with the team and told them to search their hearts and see if God was still calling them to be a part of this ministry. "Just because God called you to do this 20 years, 10 years, 5 years, 2 years, or even 6 months ago doesn NOT mean that's where he still wants you." As those words left my mouth I heard God say, "What about you?"
So I called the Pastor, at the end of October, he asked me to give him 1 month to figure things out, to which I more than happily obliged, but he didn't want me telling anyone. Actually he made me wait until a week before my last Sunday before telling my own team! However, his church, his call, I was trusting God. So finally I am down, and one of the team is temporarily placed in as the interim leader. Music was aweful! Singing was bad, leading was bad and folks were coming to me saying things like, "I sure miss you singing" or "You think they'll let you sing a song or two" or "You sure won't be able to keep from getting back up there soon!" Each comment was met by my reply of "Oh it's great! Worship is good and they are doing great - it'll get so much better with time and I'm enjoying my family time. God is guiding my steps." I never let the enemy use me to divide God's people, and you know what? The team is playing well together, making some really good music!
Fast forward a couple months and the attack comes. See, since stepping down I focused on serving my family, since I was no longer serving my church. We are in the Word constantly. God knew what he was doing (sounds redundant huh) but the attack came against my wife. Someone invited us over to "coffee and dessert" whom we knew, and it turned into accusations that my wife is "bitter, poisonous" "defiling the altar of God" and she needed to get over it, fix it, or get out of the church. The enemy was hitting me where it hurts most - my family. She was destroyed, even though it was not true.
It's taken 2 months, but she is now stronger than ever and from at one time wanting to leave the church, now she has decided that this spirit will not run us out, but that we will stand and fight, and protect who we can, unify together, and destroy any stronghold it has taken up. As for me - well I still don't want to be the full-time worship leader, but God did have other plans. I'm pulling together one of my old teams - folks who love God dearly - and we are going to start comunity worship services. We will worship in churchs, parking lots, fields, anywhere we are allowed. We desire to bring His message of love and forgiveness to them, using our feet to carry our faith. God also sent a recording studio my way, with a man who's on fire for God, who is providing gear, management services, and will record anything we want... for free. "God told me to serve you, so that I shall". All I can say, is God is incredibly good. See, when God calls, He equips, covers all costs, and prepares a way.
-LW
First things first. Tourniquet, I'd love to hear what actually happened, as I'm sure it's already happened. Reading your post, I can relate, and see many emotions and feelings regarding this. You mentioned having a feeling that you need to step down, was this before or after the new Pastor moved in? See, God might have already been trying to prepare you for something greater, and He might need you free from other things to allow them to happen, i.e. steppind down off the platform (so we call it in our church).
However, there's a bit of irritation and perhaps anger when you say "rules" and "removing" there. It's hard not to be irritated and upset when your family is also "wallowing in it" with you. "Oh he removed me, I don't know why, but he did!" Be sure you don't let bitterness creep in - it's deadly.
Now, for your God-given talent. He has used you for the last 10 years, but didn't he use you before? He didn't give you this gift to only use one facet of it. Think outside the box about how God can use it - perhaps He's been training you for a different race.
The truth is this: If God is leading you, there's no need for explanation. I called my Pastor last October and said, "God is telling me that 'it's time to step down' ". Mind you, I was the ordained Worship Pastor who lead the singing, lead the music, managed the 30 member team, structured each service, setup the sound, lights, live streaming, managed the website, cut dvds and cds on request, fixed the computers at the church, and was there anytime the doors were open. I am also married, have 2 kids, and work a full time job. Needless to say he was more than upset, but never questioned me because he KNEW I hear from God, and from my 6 years with him, he also knew that when God said "jump", I started jumping until told otherwise.
There's a peace that comes while you remain in His will. Seek Him and you'll find peace. Family won't always give it to you and sometimes they'll even help you harbor ill-will and bad feelings. Do you have any update? I'm eager to hear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HEY PAPPA!!
lol here's my story -
I announced my stepping down in October. God clearly told me to do this. Now, worship was going well - VERY well, everyone was enjoying it, God's presence was always with us - yet I started to feel unsatisfied, almost empty, or a shell of myself, while I stood on stage leading. I wrestled with it for several months. I even called a meeting with the team and told them to search their hearts and see if God was still calling them to be a part of this ministry. "Just because God called you to do this 20 years, 10 years, 5 years, 2 years, or even 6 months ago doesn NOT mean that's where he still wants you." As those words left my mouth I heard God say, "What about you?"
So I called the Pastor, at the end of October, he asked me to give him 1 month to figure things out, to which I more than happily obliged, but he didn't want me telling anyone. Actually he made me wait until a week before my last Sunday before telling my own team! However, his church, his call, I was trusting God. So finally I am down, and one of the team is temporarily placed in as the interim leader. Music was aweful! Singing was bad, leading was bad and folks were coming to me saying things like, "I sure miss you singing" or "You think they'll let you sing a song or two" or "You sure won't be able to keep from getting back up there soon!" Each comment was met by my reply of "Oh it's great! Worship is good and they are doing great - it'll get so much better with time and I'm enjoying my family time. God is guiding my steps." I never let the enemy use me to divide God's people, and you know what? The team is playing well together, making some really good music!
Fast forward a couple months and the attack comes. See, since stepping down I focused on serving my family, since I was no longer serving my church. We are in the Word constantly. God knew what he was doing (sounds redundant huh) but the attack came against my wife. Someone invited us over to "coffee and dessert" whom we knew, and it turned into accusations that my wife is "bitter, poisonous" "defiling the altar of God" and she needed to get over it, fix it, or get out of the church. The enemy was hitting me where it hurts most - my family. She was destroyed, even though it was not true.
It's taken 2 months, but she is now stronger than ever and from at one time wanting to leave the church, now she has decided that this spirit will not run us out, but that we will stand and fight, and protect who we can, unify together, and destroy any stronghold it has taken up. As for me - well I still don't want to be the full-time worship leader, but God did have other plans. I'm pulling together one of my old teams - folks who love God dearly - and we are going to start comunity worship services. We will worship in churchs, parking lots, fields, anywhere we are allowed. We desire to bring His message of love and forgiveness to them, using our feet to carry our faith. God also sent a recording studio my way, with a man who's on fire for God, who is providing gear, management services, and will record anything we want... for free. "God told me to serve you, so that I shall". All I can say, is God is incredibly good. See, when God calls, He equips, covers all costs, and prepares a way.
-LW
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I just quit a p&w band because 1 (I think the new, young hotshot worship leader is a real egotistical jerk, as do several others in the band 2) every song we played sounded the same and the one before, 3) I started feeling underappreciated considering the amount of time it takes to practice and get ready, 4) I got burned out on the "performance" emphasis and the stage had to look like a broadway production, and 5) Contemporary Christian music all sounds the same...all the rock 'n' roll and rehashed lyrics. 6) I'm not putting up with someone over 20 years my junior telling me it's "his way or the highway". 7) I took the highway approach.
After voicing my concerns to several senior members of the congregation, some of whom told me to "just suck it up and deal with it", while others understood my frustrations and advised me to back off and quit, I quit permanently. I even counseled with my boss, an old blues guy who has played and gigged his entire life just about. He advised me if I truly feel the way I felt then, to drop out and take it easy.
The way I got out was I wrote a nice email that was bogus. Several members know the real reason I quit, which was referenced in #1 above. I dropped out to avoid an explosion with a lot of collateral damage.
After voicing my concerns to several senior members of the congregation, some of whom told me to "just suck it up and deal with it", while others understood my frustrations and advised me to back off and quit, I quit permanently. I even counseled with my boss, an old blues guy who has played and gigged his entire life just about. He advised me if I truly feel the way I felt then, to drop out and take it easy.
The way I got out was I wrote a nice email that was bogus. Several members know the real reason I quit, which was referenced in #1 above. I dropped out to avoid an explosion with a lot of collateral damage.
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Hey Pappastratos.. I Totaly get what you went thru..Tell me where are you from..This same thing happen to a friend of mine in Louisiana!!..
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Looking back on it, my experience with our new worship "leader" was typical. Young kid and his wife comes in as a package deal with the new pastor and his wife. A 4 some. Head pastor, his wife is children's minister, young hotshot egotistical arrogant worship leader and his wife is the youth pastor. They have been working together for years. This is their 3rd church together. So it figures the young hotshot thinks he can pretty much to whatever he wants - within reason because his buddy the head pastor will cover for him. I remember very clearly our first rehearsal together. His speech to us was all about him and his talent and ended with something like "you can go up against me, but I'll win in the end because I get paid to do this...." Didn't matter to him that he was in his mid 20's and everyone else was at least 10 or more years older than he, or that our band included pro and semi-pro musicians who have gigged and played professionally for most of their lives, or that the wonderful church pianist and her entire family was thoroughly established there and had been for years, or that our band included a former Marine and others who had served their country. All that didn't matter to him one stinkin' bit! It was ALL about him. I guess he thinks that since he is about 6'6" and weighs about 300 pounds he can use his size to intimidate people?
Personally I have never seen someone so young waltz into an established church, NOT get to know anyone in the praise band, and immediately kick his massive ego and arrogant attitude into high gear THE VERY FIRST REHEARSAL by telling everyone they are "doing it all wrong". And it's not just the band members. Members of the audio and visual team have had / are having a very difficult time with this kid. Choir members have left, etc. I quit the band after our first worship service with him leading.
My wife and I made plans to just keep attending Sunday School there since we like our class and enjoy the bible study time. And you guesses it. The announcement was made that the church is suffering financially and need people to step up and make aggressive donations and offerings. This is because of the new "leadership" and this egotistical worship leader - they are driving people away in droves. Many have left. We left after a while but decided to return only for Sunday School.
Sorry for this diatribe but I am seeing this more and more in the church. Young, arrogant, egotistical and cocky worship leaders with the "my way or the highway" and "know-it-all" attitudes. What exactly are they teaching in seminary nowadays, how to be arrogant, egotistical jerks? It seems these young leaders just want a stage on which to perform and don't give a rip about being a true Minister.
Personally I have never seen someone so young waltz into an established church, NOT get to know anyone in the praise band, and immediately kick his massive ego and arrogant attitude into high gear THE VERY FIRST REHEARSAL by telling everyone they are "doing it all wrong". And it's not just the band members. Members of the audio and visual team have had / are having a very difficult time with this kid. Choir members have left, etc. I quit the band after our first worship service with him leading.
My wife and I made plans to just keep attending Sunday School there since we like our class and enjoy the bible study time. And you guesses it. The announcement was made that the church is suffering financially and need people to step up and make aggressive donations and offerings. This is because of the new "leadership" and this egotistical worship leader - they are driving people away in droves. Many have left. We left after a while but decided to return only for Sunday School.
Sorry for this diatribe but I am seeing this more and more in the church. Young, arrogant, egotistical and cocky worship leaders with the "my way or the highway" and "know-it-all" attitudes. What exactly are they teaching in seminary nowadays, how to be arrogant, egotistical jerks? It seems these young leaders just want a stage on which to perform and don't give a rip about being a true Minister.
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Yeah - I have been seeing that in some musicians for the last 40 years; and it seems to be growing, with more and more showing that attitude every year.
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ouch, I was the keyboard player at our church & my wife was the worship leader. We decided to step down from the position. It was very painful. We prayed & prayed, agreed on a date, spoke with the pastor, he was fairly emotionless about it. No asking us to stay, work something out. Nothing. Just when is your last Sunday?
That last note on that last song on that last Sunday was tough. I will never forget it.
If I could go back in time would have I committed to play ? I can't say yes, we had several good years but a few of bad years from snakes in the church
I sure miss that Roland RD700!!
That last note on that last song on that last Sunday was tough. I will never forget it.
If I could go back in time would have I committed to play ? I can't say yes, we had several good years but a few of bad years from snakes in the church
I sure miss that Roland RD700!!
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This is exactly the list in my head about almost every worship leader I've had to work with for the past 10 years. It's like an epidemic. When I was the worship leader at a previous church, my biggest problems were egotistical band members with very little musical ability (I had no control over who got to play on any of my 3 teams of musicians), and band members with talent and potential who were afraid to take any risk. Those challenges pale in comparison to the nonsense I've had to deal with as a member of the band at my current church.
The most recent new worship leader brings all the junk you listed above and on top of that is very disrespectful to me. I have to quit. I'm not willing to be on the receiving end of the level of disrespect he dishes out. I doubt the church leadership will understand. I'm a little nervous about how they will react, but I need to take care of myself. It's either quit, stay and get seriously depressed, or go postal (jk).
The music at our church could be so good with the talent and dedication of our band members, but one worship leader after another has squelched all attempts at quality among the musicians. I have finally accepted the fact that I will never get to enjoy playing with these people. We aren't even able to talk to each other about technical aspects of a song without being shouted at by the worship leader. Being allowed to give our best and enjoy worshiping God together is nothing but a pipe dream. There is no understanding of teamwork, cooperation, or how to lead a group of creative people.
I wish there was a place for me where I could offer my best gifts and they would be used for God's glory. Unlike you, I intend to give my main reason for quitting. We'll see how it plays out. It's so frustrating to be in a situation where you use all your skills at cooperating, encouraging others, drawing on your decades of experience, and it's all met with rejection, anger, rude comments, etc. I had to stand up to the kid, and that was uncomfortable. I am counting on God providing something more useful for me to participate in. I can't be without an outlet for my music. The worship team at this church is not an outlet, almost never has been. Whatever God has in store next HAS to be better. I will be so relieved to dump this pile of frustration out of my life.
The most recent new worship leader brings all the junk you listed above and on top of that is very disrespectful to me. I have to quit. I'm not willing to be on the receiving end of the level of disrespect he dishes out. I doubt the church leadership will understand. I'm a little nervous about how they will react, but I need to take care of myself. It's either quit, stay and get seriously depressed, or go postal (jk).
The music at our church could be so good with the talent and dedication of our band members, but one worship leader after another has squelched all attempts at quality among the musicians. I have finally accepted the fact that I will never get to enjoy playing with these people. We aren't even able to talk to each other about technical aspects of a song without being shouted at by the worship leader. Being allowed to give our best and enjoy worshiping God together is nothing but a pipe dream. There is no understanding of teamwork, cooperation, or how to lead a group of creative people.
I wish there was a place for me where I could offer my best gifts and they would be used for God's glory. Unlike you, I intend to give my main reason for quitting. We'll see how it plays out. It's so frustrating to be in a situation where you use all your skills at cooperating, encouraging others, drawing on your decades of experience, and it's all met with rejection, anger, rude comments, etc. I had to stand up to the kid, and that was uncomfortable. I am counting on God providing something more useful for me to participate in. I can't be without an outlet for my music. The worship team at this church is not an outlet, almost never has been. Whatever God has in store next HAS to be better. I will be so relieved to dump this pile of frustration out of my life.
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