How to Spank a Child Biblically?

[ICONO'CLAST]

Then you misinterpret scripture

No...Scripture is quite clear, if you do not spank your child when they rebel you fail to.live them properly.

 

[Paidiske]

I think casting normal growing up as "rebellion" is probably part of the problem...

 

[Lost4words]

No...Scripture is quite clear, if you do not spank your child when they rebel you fail to.live them properly.

I disagree.

 

[ICONO'CLAST]

I disagree.

Your disagreement is with proverbs.

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

Hi everyone,

New member here. Just want to get some ideas on the best, most proper biblical way to spank a child.

1. What is the best implement to use? Hand, wooden spoon, etc.

2. Should it be done over clothing, underwear, or bare bottom?

3. How many strokes should be given? When should you stop? I know that the Bible doesn’t allow more that 40 strokes, but this is for adult criminals.

4. How do you deal with a child who hits, kicks, and screams bloody murder to try and get away?

5. Should a prayer be said before and after administering the spanking? If so, what are some good prayers for this?

1. Nothing.
2. None of the above.
3. None.
4. Let them get away.
5. Prayers should be said. Skip the spanking.

 

[Lost4words]

Your disagreement is with proverbs.

Interpretation

 

[Saricharity]

Your disagreement is with proverbs.

Since the book of Proverbs is part of the Bible’s wisdom literature, it is appropriate to interpret its contents differently than, say, a historical account. Proverbs are not necessarily to be taken literally, and they are not promises; rather, they are an acknowledgment of a common reality.

What is a proverb in the Bible?

 

[Saricharity]

The rod was, at the time the Book of Proverbs was written, a culturally-understood representation of authority. In the rod verses, this speaks to the idea of parental authority over a child. This authority is one of vision, leadership, and instruction, with the parent's life experience (knowledge, principles, right-living, and more) transferred from the parent to the child as he grows.

The rod verses also speak to the idea of corrective discipline. Examining the Hebrew words behind these concepts reveals nothing that points specifically to physical chastisement. Rather, we find the idea of a parent's authoritative discipline and correction being a constant presence in a child's life. From a foundation of relationship, this discipline seeks to impart wisdom and generate internal change rather than merely modify external behaviour.

Finally, when examining the picture of the shepherd's rod, along with his co-tool, the staff, we discover the idea of the rod as protective guidance. The shepherd's rod was used to defend and discipline his sheep, and was a symbol of his power, authority, and defense. The shepherd's staff was used to gently lift and guide his sheep, and was a symbol of comfort and compassion. Neither tool was ever used to strike the sheep. Likewise, a parent should use his authority not to instil fear, but to gently protect, guide, and comfort them.

In short, the rod is a picture of a parent's constant authoritative discipline as he gently guides his child along the right path.

The Hippie Housewife: The Rod Verses: What are they really saying?

 

[Saricharity]

This is another good article to read.

Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children By Tom Johnson

 

[ICONO'CLAST]

The rod was, at the time the Book of Proverbs was written, a culturally-understood representation of authority. In the rod verses, this speaks to the idea of parental authority over a child. This authority is one of vision, leadership, and instruction, with the parent's life experience (knowledge, principles, right-living, and more) transferred from the parent to the child as he grows.

The rod verses also speak to the idea of corrective discipline. Examining the Hebrew words behind these concepts reveals nothing that points specifically to physical chastisement. Rather, we find the idea of a parent's authoritative discipline and correction being a constant presence in a child's life. From a foundation of relationship, this discipline seeks to impart wisdom and generate internal change rather than merely modify external behaviour.

Finally, when examining the picture of the shepherd's rod, along with his co-tool, the staff, we discover the idea of the rod as protective guidance. The shepherd's rod was used to defend and discipline his sheep, and was a symbol of his power, authority, and defense. The shepherd's staff was used to gently lift and guide his sheep, and was a symbol of comfort and compassion. Neither tool was ever used to strike the sheep. Likewise, a parent should use his authority not to instil fear, but to gently protect, guide, and comfort them.

In short, the rod is a picture of a parent's constant authoritative discipline as he gently guides his child along the right path.

The Hippie Housewife: The Rod Verses: What are they really saying?

The hippie housewife rejects the authority of God's word .She is rejected.

 

[ICONO'CLAST]

This is another good article to read.

Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children By Tom Johnson

A secular article dealing with perversion. No scripture he is rejected.

 

[ICONO'CLAST]

I think this is treading on dangerous ground.
You break horses not children.
I was a very mild mannered child but a very strong-willed teenager. Where do you draw the line with breaking the will? I can tell you that trying to break the will of a child or teenager is dangerous if you chose to spank.



This child needs someone to help him gain control. Those are very big feelings and emotions in a child. When he is kicking and screaming and having a temper tantrum, that child has lost control of himself. It's up to you as the parent to understand that and help him feel safe. He is already frightened and angry. This is when you speak calmly and soothingly and explain his feeling to him...define them. "I can see you are feeling very angry right now. It's okay to be angry." Labelling his emotions will help him understand them. Stay close by and talk calmly. Don't isolate him. Keep talking to him until he is able to calm down. Sometimes, you may need to hold him and help him calm down. Some children will calm down much quicker if you hold them tightly and help them feel safe. Being out of control is frightening. Please don't spank your child for having a temper tantrum, especially a 2 or 3-year-old.

A good, hard spanking?

Do you even realize what you're doing to a child when you do that? Think about it.
The child is out of control (Already frightened) You pull that child over your knee or whatever position you choose and you smack them on the bottom causing them pain. You are causing panic, pain and distress in an already out of control child. The person who is supposed to love them most and who they trust the most is causing them pain when they are already frightened by their own loss of control. Emotionally, this is terrifying. Their fight and fight instinct is in full swing giving them a bigger adrenaline rush. It is a complete sensory overload. How can this not be seen as abusive?



Wrong! Spanking is one tool in a toolbox filled with other alternatives.
Proactive, gentle parenting is much more effective.

Another who knows better than Solomon.

 

[Saricharity]

Proverbs is a book of wisdom not commands from the Lord.
You misunderstand the rod verses. Study the original languages.

 

[ICONO'CLAST]

Proverbs is a book of wisdom not commands from the Lord.
You misunderstand the rod verses. Study the original languages.

Nonsense...it does not change the verses. They mean exactly what they say. You and no one else can allegorize them away.

 

[Zoii]

Im not a parent - but I remember getting a slap when I was younger. I reminded my mother of it. She said she was ashamed she did it and that it more about her losing control then it was about me being bad kid.

 

[AndyPrior]

Hi everyone,

New member here. Just want to get some ideas on the best, most proper biblical way to spank a child.

1. What is the best implement to use? Hand, wooden spoon, etc.

2. Should it be done over clothing, underwear, or bare bottom?

3. How many strokes should be given? When should you stop? I know that the Bible doesn’t allow more that 40 strokes, but this is for adult criminals.

4. How do you deal with a child who hits, kicks, and screams bloody murder to try and get away?

5. Should a prayer be said before and after administering the spanking? If so, what are some good prayers for this?

Hand, switch, wooden spoon, wooden spatula, always firmly applied on the holy terror's and sinner's bare bottom, give him/her as many strokes as required until rebellion and defiance will be broken. Proverbs 20:30 Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts. Spanking works wonders! It makes your kid, sweet, humble and obedient. Pray before and after.

 

[mama2one]

7 Ways Parents Unfairly Provoke Their Children - Tim Challies

from above ^

"These parents give time and attention to their children while they are young, they raise them with kindness and discipline, and they do this by holding in mind the future relationship they long to have.

So many can testify that their parents used anger or the threat of anger as a means of correction and punishment. Discipline was not delivered with calmness and self-control but with angry slaps or cutting words. And of course this leads to anger. A parent’s anger leads to their child’s anger. How couldn’t it? But in this case the parent’s anger is unjust while the child’s anger is just. God expects that we will discipline and instruct our children with patience and kindness. This involves modeling the very actions, attitudes, and words we want them to display."

...........
Notice there is NOTHING about hitting children but instead MODELING the very actions, attitudes, and words we want them to display.

Notice kindness is mentioned and keeping in mind relationship with your child.

 

[KaitlinRose]

Hello!
I have found that those who spank usually have better-behaved kids. I was the third of 10 children in a strict Catholic family and our parents were not afraid to discipline us. I never felt abused and if anything, was glad to have swift, just punishment where there was forgiveness afterwards. I think the way my parents punished us was effective and I will probably do the same. So, to respond:

(1.) Depends on the age/offense. It was always with an open hand when we were little but they used a plastic hairbrush when we got older. For VERY serious offenses there was a belt, but that was super rare. Like once in my entire childhood.

(2.) It was pretty much always bare-bottomed. Usually, mom was the one in charge of discipline and she would undress us. I think this was a huge part of the punishment because of the suspense... haha. I don't think it has to be done this way but it definitely creates a "formal" punishment aspect and allows the parent to watch for marks or bruising.

(3.) Also depends on the age/offense, how hard you're hitting, and the implement. If it's your hand, I think 30 or so are appropriate for a small child. But for a more serious offense by an older child, 50 is more appropriate. If you're using a hairbrush, no more than 20 and a belt, no more than 10. Basically just use your judgment, I think.

(4.) Do not chase them down, struggle to hold them in place, etc. Both of you need to be calm for the spanking to be safe and effective. If you have to have the child calm down in his room, that's an option. Usually my parents threatened a worse punishment and by a certain age we learned to just comply.

(5.) I think there should be lots of hugs, kisses, and love after, but no mention of the punishment or misdeed. What's done is done at that point. I think for an older child, pointing out where the Bible or the Catechism says their act was sinful could be a good idea prior to the punishment.

This can be a very useful tool when used correctly and 100% out of love. All of us have turned out great and we are all pretty happy go lucky, well-adjusted people (there are still kids at home though, so I'll try not to jinx it ) Feel free to respond and God bless!

Blessed Joan's experiences growing up almost identically match mine, and are my starting point for how I plan to raise my nieces I am about to adopt (long story)

 

[Michelle Koziak]

1. Depends on the age, start with hand and do it firmly and gently and explain why you did it
2. Diapers or clothing in most instances yes.
3. I recommend not spanking on impulse (though it can happen), instead pause, and do it with a calmed down mindset. It should hurt you emotionally as much as it hurts them. You should not really want to do it, but out of necessity. So two or three times at most and STOP. Again you talk to them and tell them not to do it again and remind what will happen if they persist with the same behavior.
4. You upgrade to a belt, and exercise the same principal of self-control, and be firm so they know the parent is in control and they are not. Parents who let the child walk over them like a doormat can just expect more of the same, and it only gets worse as the child grows older.
5. It's always good to pray, I've actually prayed to God I would not accidentally go too far in dealing with bad behavior. It's not easy, especially when a child persists as though you did not punish them, day in and day out, it can seem like they will never learn when things change so little or not at all. Always try to be patient and keep the communication going, eventually they should get the idea, it's rough though, I know all about it!

I should note, children are different, some require more discipline than others, some require little, but I think it is common (could be wrong) for them to try to push their boundaries and manipulate the punishment system.

Wow, thanks for the link, reading it.

 

[Michelle Koziak]

I believe in spanking once the child is old enough to understand why and can communicate it verbally. If your child is still in diapers they should not be spanked. I have 3 daughters. 2 are now on their own. The oldest needed more spankings than her younget sister. She was potty trained at 21/2
When they were in diapers if they pulled away from me and ran that was a serious! A child than runs can run into traffic.
I would lay one hand palm open on the diaper or underwear and slap my hands together. That made them cry and they often thought they were getting a pots. It was a Ukrainian way of saying spanking that could be used I'm public as a warning without unwanted attention from others.
I never spanked in anger and I also explained ahead of time what would get them a spanking.
Spanking in anger doesn't work.
You don't need a switch. Your hand works well.
My middle daughter was spanked 2 times. She watched her older sister misbehave and it kept her well behaved.
Dr Dobson has great books on raising children. I learned a lot from The Bible and my kids