How to Spank a Child Biblically?

[Logic Over Emotionalism]

my guess is you didn't watch the video on the Case Against Spanking

I read the article. I wrote a long review on the first article you gave me and read the other one you gave. But my guess is you haven't read on the articles that show that much of the research that article you gave is questionable. Two of the articles I gave show that the data that the anti-spanking crowd uses is very questionable.

Update:

The first min of the video she talks about studies that are in question by many doctors in this field. Most of what was discussed in the video was covered in the article and is heavily disputed in the medical world if you would care to read the studies I showed on this.

 

[Logic Over Emotionalism]

the effects show up years later
my guess is your children are not teens yet

The oldest Michael is five and does not get spanked anymore as he is now making good choices. He is said to be above average on reading and is more behaved then the other children according to the teachers and other parents. Spanking in the early development of children according to the studies I provided are beneficial but of course you ignore. Effects of abuse I have seen in children as little as 6 and know the signs, so nice try. It does not take years to see the signs of abuse which spanking is not. You lean more on emotionalism then factual statements.

If it takes you years later to notice the signs you were not paying attention in those classes as there are always signs in physical, emotional and sexual abuse which again spanking is not.

How to Identify Child Abuse Ages 0-5 - The Whole Child

3 Ways to Recognize Signs of Abuse in a Toddler or Baby - wikiHow

 

[mama2one]

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[Logic Over Emotionalism]

may be years to notice the effects of spanking



my last post

Then you didn't pay attention in class. If spanking is any form of physical abuse there are signs. Also emotional abuse there are signs in young children. If spanking is abuse on any of these levels there are signs early on not years down the road as I provided sources in my last post.

 

[W2L]

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You have point that its good to talk instead of spanking, however sometimes children will not respond to words but will respond to spanking. Thats my observation anyway.

 

[Dave-W]

Of course you don't want to abuse anyone. You spank enough just so that there is pain. Overdoing it is abuse and that happens when people spank out of anger. You calm down before you ever spank a child.

While I understand your idea, I would submit that one can be completely devoid of emotion, completely in control of their own actions, and still be abusive.

The spankings I got in kindergarten thru 2nd grade were exactly that. Dad and his belt. He knew how to take me just to the edge of unconsciousness but not go over that line. And I was not allowed to cry or react. If I did, I got it again. And again until I could get thru it with no emotional reaction like screaming or crying.

 

[DavidFirth]

While I understand your idea, I would submit that one can be completely devoid of emotion, completely in control of their own actions, and still be abusive.

The spankings I got in kindergarten thru 2nd grade were exactly that. Dad and his belt. He knew how to take me just to the edge of unconsciousness but not go over that line. And I was not allowed to cry or react. If I did, I got it again. And again until I could get thru it with no emotional reaction like screaming or crying.

That's blatant abuse. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

 

[BNR32FAN]

Hi everyone,

New member here. Just want to get some ideas on the best, most proper biblical way to spank a child.

1. What is the best implement to use? Hand, wooden spoon, etc.

2. Should it be done over clothing, underwear, or bare bottom?

3. How many strokes should be given? When should you stop? I know that the Bible doesn’t allow more that 40 strokes, but this is for adult criminals.

4. How do you deal with a child who hits, kicks, and screams bloody murder to try and get away?

5. Should a prayer be said before and after administering the spanking? If so, what are some good prayers for this?

For me I prefer time out, grounding, taking away privelages like tv, ice cream or sweets, video games, cell phone. But in some extreme cases of absolute direct defiance like screaming and hollering or hitting me or mom I feel it is sometimes necessary to establish dominance and remind them that there are limits that must not be crossed. So far I’ve only had to spank my 5 year old twice. Both times I just used my hand and slapped her on her leg twice. Now she knows my limits and there’s a certain level of fear in her of crossing that line. I’m very thankful that I was able to accomplish that with only 2 little spankings.

 

[AndyPrior]

According to the studies that supports spanking it is a two swat spank by parents who are well intentioned. So yes that means you do not beat your child or do anything out of anger. When I spank my children I do so out of love and the desire of wanting them to make better life decisions. So after I am done spanking I talk to them and let them speak so they can learn from it. Many parents who do it wrong do so out of anger or beat the child which is not spanking but abuse.

Sorry, but a temper tantrum of a holy terror, defiance and rebellion can't be broken by a two swat spanking. My son would have laughed at me. A biblical spanking has to have a healing and lasting effect. Proverbs 20:30 Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts.

 

[Brightmoon]

I think that hitting a child doesn’t tell them how to think which is what you want them do learn . A 2 or 3 year old is too young to learn and adult rules are incomprehensible frustrating and confusing to a small child . Would you like it if you were confused , upset and scared because you were , to have someone smack you? At that point you’ll just get an angry child who hasn’t learned how to think but who might learn to kowtow. Some children get so angry that they won’t kowtow and some just wait until they’re teens

 

[Lost4words]

Never ever any reason to hit a child.

 

[mama2one]

no Christine, don't get pulled back into thread

 

[AndyPrior]

You can't reason with a kid, being 2 or 3 years old. Only physical pain works brokeness. The experience of pain works wonders. That's the only truth and it's biblical. Thousands of years of parental experience prove it. Kids are sinners from the beginning and their will must be broken. There's no alternative since many of generations of humankind. Uncontested tradition and heritage of parents. Son and daughter have to submit Dad and Mom, alike they have to submit God. Why people are so stupid and ignorant today? I think, they're ideologically overloaded by Spockanians and so they're a know-it-all. My son, today, is grateful for the spankings he got. As well, I'm so grateful for the spankings I got from Dad and Mom. I can't understand doubting. A good, hard spanking works, biblical promise fulfilled in every way. So, love and spank, spank
and love!

 

[Paidiske]

Some of us see causing "brokenness" in our children as abuse. Having experienced that kind of physical abuse as a child, I don't understand it as loving, or something to be grateful for.

Maybe, Andy, you were lucky; but if you don't understand others the best thing to do is ask more about their experiences and listen, rather than tell them how wrong they are.

 

[ICONO'CLAST]

Some of us see causing "brokenness" in our children as abuse. Having experienced that kind of physical abuse as a child, I don't understand it as loving, or something to be grateful for.

Maybe, Andy, you were lucky; but if you don't understand others the best thing to do is ask more about their experiences and listen, rather than tell them how wrong they are.

God was not wrong when He instructed Solomon.
Because you or others were the object of abuse does not undo the Biblical teaching. We can be sorry and empathize with abuse victims, but any who set aside God given wisdom error.

 

[ICONO'CLAST]

Never ever any reason to hit a child.

That is not what God instructs.

 

[Lost4words]

That is not what God instructs.

Then you misinterpret scripture

 

[AndyPrior]

I don't tell "them" how wrong they are. Experiences in child rearing are different. Parents and children are different. Breaking the will is not abuse but absolutely needed. A child, screaming and kicking, obsessed with a temper tantrum, must be broken, if not, this unacceptable behaviour will grow more and more up to a juvenile terrorism with threat to parents life and physical condition. At the end, (kid), he/she will be jailed. So, at last, "helpless" parents have to give away their rebellious child to a mental hospital or alternatively to that there will be submission of the parents to the terror of their undisciplined children or giving them drugs like Ritalin. But the proper remedy for rebellion, temper tantrum and disobedience is and will be a good, hard spanking. Always and until the end of all time. Biblical promise kept! That's my experience, not more, not less. Everybody should have the right to raise the children his/her way. The result will be crucial. Pray before, then spank firmly with love, then pray after! Slack and released from internal tensions, son/daughter will yield gladly to to you and your authority. If not, you have to spank again until his/her will is completely broken. There's no alternative. Biblical truth! Thousands of years of parental experience being uncontroversial. So, it's proven.

 

[Saricharity]

Breaking the will is not abuse but absolutely needed

If not, you have to spank again until his/her will is completely broken.

I think this is treading on dangerous ground.
You break horses not children.
I was a very mild mannered child but a very strong-willed teenager. Where do you draw the line with breaking the will? I can tell you that trying to break the will of a child or teenager is dangerous if you chose to spank.

A child, screaming and kicking, obsessed with a temper tantrum, must be broken,

This child needs someone to help him gain control. Those are very big feelings and emotions in a child. When he is kicking and screaming and having a temper tantrum, that child has lost control of himself. It's up to you as the parent to understand that and help him feel safe. He is already frightened and angry. This is when you speak calmly and soothingly and explain his feeling to him...define them. "I can see you are feeling very angry right now. It's okay to be angry." Labelling his emotions will help him understand them. Stay close by and talk calmly. Don't isolate him. Keep talking to him until he is able to calm down. Sometimes, you may need to hold him and help him calm down. Some children will calm down much quicker if you hold them tightly and help them feel safe. Being out of control is frightening. Please don't spank your child for having a temper tantrum, especially a 2 or 3-year-old.

A good, hard spanking?

Do you even realize what you're doing to a child when you do that? Think about it.
The child is out of control (Already frightened) You pull that child over your knee or whatever position you choose and you smack them on the bottom causing them pain. You are causing panic, pain and distress in an already out of control child. The person who is supposed to love them most and who they trust the most is causing them pain when they are already frightened by their own loss of control. Emotionally, this is terrifying. Their fight and fight instinct is in full swing giving them a bigger adrenaline rush. It is a complete sensory overload. How can this not be seen as abusive?

There's no alternative.

Wrong! Spanking is one tool in a toolbox filled with other alternatives.
Proactive, gentle parenting is much more effective.

 

[Paidiske]

Breaking the will is not abuse but absolutely needed.

I completely disagree. We must train our children to learn self-control, not "break" them.