How to Spank a Child Biblically?

[Dave-W]

to use spanking to stop a behavior momentarily (which is all spanking does)

Depends on how bad the spanking is and the emotional make up of the child.

If it is bad enough, and the child fearful enough of pain, it may change the behavior long term. But it will be out of fear, not love or a desire to obey.

 

[Dave-W]

The Bible doesn't criticize spanking, because it doesn't mention it at all! No description of striking a child's rear exists in the text.

Proverbs 19:29
Judgments are prepared for scoffers, And blows for the back of fools.

Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13
Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.

 

[mama2one]

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[Dave-W]

was shy and one day didn't stand up for milk count
figures the one day my mom asks if I drank my milk at school
didn't have the wherewithal to say didn't like standing for milk count as felt it drew attention to me

getting hit didn't "change any behavior that needed changing" but it did teach me to never, ever get caught doing anything wrong and increased my shyness for fear of saying anything wrong

it also made me realize, I couldn't TRUST either parent and to this day, I have little trust for people

I totally get that.

 

[mama2one]

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[Dave-W]

There is no "the" in Proverbs 22.15 It is just the plain word shevet. If it was THE rod it would have been ha-shevet.

In Exodus 21.20, shevet has a prefix b'- meaning by or thru.

I do not think the distinction you are drawing stands up in the Hebrew.

FYI: Hebrew does NOT have the indefinite articles of a or an. Only the definite article the.

 

[mama2one]

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[W2L]

Ive seen children who wouldn't listen until they were spanked. Spanking was necessary.

 

[Dave-W]

I wish I could find the other article written by the Pastor
no way all the Bibles are wrong
as there is definitely "a rod" and "the rod"

Only in english.

 

[RDKirk]

If you come at the subject with a Logic Over Emotion viewpoint, any kind of emotional trauma the child experiences gets discounted if the procedure "works" in limiting the bad behavior.

All that a child learns about self-discipline and obedience to authority is by "emotional trauma."

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. -- Hebrews 12

There is no learning without trauma.

After reading Dr Spock, I tried giving my toddler son a "time out" as recommended. He nearly went catatonic in abandonment panic.

A quick swat on the butt taught the lesson with much, much less emotional trauma. In fact, I doubt there was any emotional trauma. It was much the same way he learned to walk and avoid falling on his butt.

 

[Dave-W]

All that a child learns about self-discipline and obedience to authority is by "emotional trauma."

Many children - true. Not necessarily ALL children.

A quick swat on the butt taught the lesson with much, much less emotional trauma.

There are swats and then there are SWATS.

I experienced a lot of the latter.

 

[RDKirk]

Many children - true. Not necessarily ALL children.

There are swats and then there are SWATS.

I experienced a lot of the latter.

The difference is supposed to be what this topic is about.

 

[Dave-W]

The difference is supposed to be what this topic is about.

I know. My dad insisted that his way WAS biblical. (and he had the seminary degree to "prove" it)

 

[mama2one]

All that a child learns about self-discipline and obedience to authority is by "emotional trauma."
There is no learning without trauma..

not true

there are plenty of positive discipline methods
we have taught our child without trauma

time-ins, modeling correct behavior, teaching/showing how to do something correctly such as petting dog nicely, reading Christian books re traits such as kindness, when very young distraction, bonding & closeness, realizing BEFORE child acts up if child needs a snack break, nap, physical activity, rocked, or a calming bath, natural consequences, catching and praising good behavior so it's repeated, etc

too many parents ignore children when they're playing quietly but then if they act up, then parents swoop in
if parents give attention and praise kid's good behavior, kids get the attention they crave and there's no reason to misbehave for attention seeking (which many kids do) plus they repeat good behavior

 

[mama2one]

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[W2L]

probably a parent yelling at them instead of getting down to their level and talking in a calm voice

every parent I've seen hitting their kid in the neighborhood or at a store, the parent was in a vile mood and yelling at their kids before wacking them

the parent was the one out of control

Ive seen children that would laugh at an adult instead of obeying commands, no matter how calm the adult was, no matter what they say. I have also seen these kids get spanked and immediately they begin to listen and obey.

 

[mama2one]

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[W2L]

because the parent hasn't properly taught their kids to begin with, bonded with them, or gained their respect

so the parent becomes frustrated and turns to spanking
it takes time, lots and lots of time to establish bonding and a good solid relationship with a child

I disagree. Thats not the case.

 

[mama2one]

.

 

[Logic Over Emotionalism]

you can disagree, but hitting a child creates distance between child and parent as well as distrust

I prefer to treat my child with love and compassion

This is your opinion nothing more. Do you believe that all children learn the same way? Since you are not the children's parents you do not know what discipline works for that child. To challenge what's best for someone else's child when you are merely looking in from the outside is not the best thing to do. In post #138 here are some of your assumptions:

1. "probably a parent yelling at them instead of".... yes "probably" which means you do not know just your opinion.

2. every parent I've seen hitting their kid... Do you go looking for parents who spank their kids just to point opinions on those who do spank?

3. "instead chose to act out of anger and hit a child" well obviously you haven't met a family that uses spanking out of love to see them do better and not out of anger. But maybe you are not looking for this tho.

4. "parents who use spanking fail to use all the other discipline"... You know that spanking parents or the majority of spanking parents do not use other forms of discipline before spanking? Me and my wife use other forms before spanking so I can say this is a false statement.

5. "when the parent instead can use their brain and use an appropriate discipline"... So if someone disciplines their children differently then you they are not using "their brain"?

You can treat them with love and compassion by being a good parent regardless if you believe spanking is good or not. This last sentence in this post of yours is nothing short of emotionalism without any substance. My children are not only close to me as we do all sorts of adventures to build life skills and yes my children do have trust in us as parents as they know we love them. We sacrifice everything for our children to give them a better life then us and it shows when you meet them.