How To Not sound Like A Bible Thumper?

[Grateful4EndlessLove]

Boyfriend accuses me of this. how do I metnion God without sounding like it??

 

[citizenthom]

Is your boyfriend not a Christian?

 

[texastig]

Boyfriend accuses me of this. how do I metnion God without sounding like it??

Just tell him that you would like to share something with him that's important to you.

 

[Peripatetic]

This is a fair and relevant question. We do need to be careful about the way we spread the Gospel. First of all, a Christian's first and best weapon is our own actions. We need to be a good example first, then use our words. The next suggestion would be to avoid being judgmental and telling them what to do. It tends to work better to relate how God has worked in your life. But be sure to seek their perspectives too.

One thing that Chrsitians often fail to do is listen. In my experience, the person that is characterized as a "bible thumper" is one who is always in tell mode. Someone who zealously forces their narrow belief system and is not willing to hear other ideas. I'm not advocating universalism here. However, being a witness to our faith is a process. The best way to connect with someone is to understand where they are coming from first... be willing to concede a few points, and to admit that we don't know everything either. Once you establish a rapport and pique their curiosity, they may well ask you questions. That is when you can be the most effective in sharing Biblical truth.

One last piece of advice: while we are not to be "of the world" we are still "in the world". It is not our place to point out all the sins of others. There is a place for council in some circumstances, but it should be done with great care and without condemnation.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

This is a fair and relevant question. We do need to be careful about the way we spread the Gospel. First of all, a Christian's first and best weapon is our own actions. We need to be a good example first, then use our words. The next suggestion would be to avoid being judgmental and telling them what to do. It tends to work better to relate how God has worked in your life. But be sure to seek their perspectives too.

One thing that Chrsitians often fail to do is listen. In my experience, the person that is characterized as a "bible thumper" is one who is always in tell mode. Someone who zealously forces their narrow belief system and is not willing to hear other ideas. I'm not advocating universalism here. However, being a witness to our faith is a process. The best way to connect with someone is to understand where they are coming from first... be willing to concede a few points, and to admit that we don't know everything either. Once you establish a rapport and pique their curiosity, they may well ask you questions. That is when you can be the most effective in sharing Biblical truth.

One last piece of advice: while we are not to be "of the world" we are still "in the world". It is not our place to point out all the sins of others. There is a place for council in some circumstances, but it should be done with great care and without condemnation.

Good post!

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
-Theodore Roosevelt

​

 

[Grateful4EndlessLove]

Thanks guys. I apologize for the shortness of the post. They were kicking me out of the library cus it was closing for the night.

Very good points.

Well, see this is an interesting case because I recently became Christian, and while my boyfriend was a Christian at this point, he has lost his faith. In becoming Christian myself, I decided to stop having sex outside of marriage. The boyfriend threw a HUGE fit, nearly broke up with me, the whole kit-n-kaboodle. But after I put my foot down and wouldnt give into his guilt trips or threats of breaking up, he decided it wasnt worth it, and is now respectful of the decision (ish....he still pushes for oral attention *cough*) and he being very loving again towards me.

ANYWAY, but during this decision, I was explaining the two reasons I decided to be celibate: 1)My beliefs and 2)I needed to learn to love and respect myself again, something I certainly did not posses.

See, i knew if I didn't mention that my "new beliefs" as it were, were a large part of my decision, then he would just try to "fix" the problem and still want sex. But everytime I said anything so much as "I need to learnt o love and respect myself through God, and for God as well as myself." he'd jump on me and accuse me of bible thumping.

So that's where this question came from. But I will still employ what you guys said, because now I'm trying to figure out how to encourage him back into faith without pushing it and making him want to wall up against it...

 

[Zalu]

To me, it sounds like your boyfriend has a problem with Christianity in general. You said that he was a Christian before you became one, but he wanted sex outside of marriage, and still does. Also, it seems he doesn't want to hear anything remotely near relating to God, otherwise he'll persecute. It seems like he just doesn't understand "it." By it I mean Jesus. You have to look at his lifestyle before you became a Christian and he left. Did he really have Christ in him? Did he want to make changes for the better of God's will? Or did he just say "It's okay, I'm saved now. God will forgive me for whatever I do?" You're very right in your decision to not have sex outside of marriage. For your second reason why, I would change that to learning to love in general. We don't know what love is until we have God's love, and once we can accept His love, we can love other people. Overall, I think breaking up might be a good possibility. Why? I see too many new Christians get saved and then go out and get a girlfriend/boyfriend, and it doesn't work. You need time (at least a few months) to grow in your relationship with God, and it's hard to devote any (quality) time when you have to divide it between boyfriend & God. A very good friend/mentor of mine had to break up with his girlfriend in order to grow. She was way ahead of him spiritually, so they broke it off for about 6 months. No doubt it would be hard, but they got to around the same spot in their walk, and it's going much better for them. You may have to just take some time and come back to him.

 

[TheManeki]

Boyfriend accuses me of this. how do I metnion God without sounding like it??

Take a page from St. Francis of Assisi and concentrate on preaching with your deeds, not your words?

 

[heron]

Why don't you just tell him you don't want to be pregnant at 21 and stuck not being able to work due to child care expenses. Hand him your student loans, your medical insurance bill, and all the rest of the bills... become a bill thumper. Men don't have their careers stop with pregnancies the way women do.

Sorry to be so blunt. Back to your original question, learning to listen -as said earlier- is important, not just for his reception of your faith, but also getting used to a partnership of two different people able to be themselves with each other.

 

[Grateful4EndlessLove]

Thnkas guys. I think right now I'll just fcus on leading with my actions. For now, he's not ready to hear it (and I havnt even tried to actually talk to him about it. He freaks out when he asks me a question about myself and I mention god in my answer.

Thanks again!

 

[Spirko]

Boyfriend accuses me of this. how do I metnion God without sounding like it??

What's wrong with being a Bible thumper?

 

[Spirko]

So that's where this question came from. But I will still employ what you guys said, because now I'm trying to figure out how to encourage him back into faith without pushing it and making him want to wall up against it...

If your boyfriend is still seeking sex outside of marriage and is, as you describe him, not repentant or remorseful, then what makes you think he's a Christian in the first place? Where is the fruit that comes with the new nature?

 

[Grateful4EndlessLove]

He has stopped asking for sex, though he does push for oral sex. But I know he at least believed in God, and at the very least was a lip service Christian for a while, as he told me he was a Christian, and was pretty happy to go to church with a few times during the early weeks of the relationship (I, too was a lipservice Christian at the time), but now he feels like there's no point in looking to God when there is bad all around him, and asked what the point was in looking to God?...I told him that God couldn't change his life if he didn't ask him too, but the term bible thumper was thrown in my face then, too.

But we were also going through a tough time, so he was pretty depressed and irritable. I'm hoping that in a little while when he's had time to settle into this better mood now that we're over it, he'll be more open to it.

For now though, actions it is.

 

[Spirko]

He has stopped asking for sex, though he does push for oral sex.

Yeah, that's a pretty big red flag. It's also a good sign that he doesn't have any respect for you.

But I know he at least believed in God, and at the very least was a lip service Christian for a while, as he told me he was a Christian, and was pretty happy to go to church with a few times during the early weeks of the relationship (I, too was a lipservice Christian at the time), but now he feels like there's no point in looking to God when there is bad all around him, and asked what the point was in looking to God?

The point in looking to God is that God has provided the only way of salvation in His Son, Jesus Christ.

I told him that God couldn't change his life if he didn't ask him too

Sinners don't want their lives changed. And "turning to God" isn't to change your life. That's what Tony Robbins seminars are for.

but the term bible thumper was thrown in my face then, too.

I'd take that as a compliment.

 

[Grateful4EndlessLove]

Yes, but having been in his place before, I onyl came to God when I wanted to. Looking at it now, as a Christian, no, bible thumping isn't bad, but looking at it from a nonchristian point of view, the more someone quoted the bible and shoved god down my throat demanding I repent, the more I wanted to punch them.

keep in mind that's not me now, that's me then. And I had to come to god by myself. I had heard the Word, but I could only accept it once I decided was was ready for it and people stopped trying to force me to repent when I ddin't want any part of it.

Therefore, I'm trying not to come at him like that.

 

[highlife]

When you fixate your faith on less scripture than I can count on my hand then you will be labeled a bible thumper. The church seems to fixate on pre maritial sex to the nth degree, it becomes a whole campaign and the rest of the aspects of the faith seem to get blown away. Of course he is upset you 2 were both basicly married (I am guessing you were living together) and you just cut him off. Others may argue about the whole piece of paper debate but frankly its not biblical.

This is where problems arise, when people hyper fixate on a single scripture or a small handfull of scripture without studying the bible as a whole, do you even know what the root word fornication means in the greek, do you know that no where in the bible is that much debated piece of paper (ie marriage licence) required?

I have found that alot of christians want to throw away the baby with the bath water when they "find christ" and all that is going to do is majorly upset your life.

 

[Spirko]

Yes, but having been in his place before, I onyl came to God when I wanted to. Looking at it now, as a Christian, no, bible thumping isn't bad, but looking at it from a nonchristian point of view, the more someone quoted the bible and shoved god down my throat demanding I repent, the more I wanted to punch them.

Yes. That's what the Bible calls conviction. It's a work of the Holy Spirit.

I had heard the Word, but I could only accept it once I decided was was ready for it and people stopped trying to force me to repent when I ddin't want any part of it.

You didn't accept it. God did a work in you. Nobody can repent on their own. Repentance is a work that God does in us, not that we do.

That's why what your boyfriend is talking about isn't real, Biblical Christianity.

 

[Johnnz]

I try to express my beliefs in non religious words instead of what would sound like 'religious jargon' to many people. I learnt so much for myself while doing that - it really helped me clarify what I do believe!

We need to talk in terms non Christians understand. Every time Jesus and Paul spoke with people with a non biblical background neither of them quoted the scriptures once. Lets follow two very good examples.

John
NZ

 

[citizenthom]

Your boyfriend is no longer a Christian. That means he is no longer a Biblicly-viable candidate for marriage. The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked, period. Biblical marriage is a three-way street: two people submitting fully to God's will, then submitting fully to each other on the terms God mandates.

Your boyfriend is a classic example of the necessity of this principle. He is pressuring you to continue an activity that is fundamentally sinful and extraordinarily harmful to your future marriage (to him or anyone else) for purely selfish reasons. When you stand up for God's will, he insults you and disrespects you, and generally acts like a petulant child. It is impossible to foster a relationship with such a person and always will be.

You need to end this relationship now. I know that is hard to hear, but it is the truth and is best for you in the long run. You are not yet married to him, and it is not your job to stick around and try to "bring this man to Christ" while exposing yourself to further sin and emotional harm.

End this relationship NOW.

 

[Vector man]

well said dude.