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pantingdeer

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I am 20 yrs old and I don't have a girlfriend but would like one (preferably of Polish or Spanish origin).
Would you have any tips for on how I can find a girlfriend that is kind and that I get along well with. I have quite low confidence because of some issues I have and so I wouldn't feel comfortable approaching this really nice girl at my uni who I admire. She is definitely way too good for me and I'd feel bad dropping all my problems on someone that deserves a nice person.
Please could people share some tips as I'd like a nice female companion.
 
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Messerve

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Well, low self esteem will definitely make you less attractive to girls. So you should work on tackling that probably. What are the reasons you have little confidence?

This girl you're attracted to has problems, too, no matter how nice she is. So it won't be just you sharing problems with her, she'll end up being a burden to you, too, to some degree. That's what relationships are like. So she is definitely not "way too good" for you. You just don't know her well enough, yet. Once you get to know her better, you'll see what I mean.

To attract the kind of girl you want, I would recommend you learn their country's language first of all, if you're determined to find someone from Spain or Poland. Enough to say simple phrases to them and catch their attention with that. Take an opportunity to visit one of those countries and I can guarantee that when you tell a girl you've been to her country she will immediately see you in a different light from everyone else.

Join clubs at the university that are things you really enjoy doing. See if any of the women there fit what you're looking for. If she shares a similar interest, that's a good sign things could work between you.

Well, those are some thoughts...
 
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Jeshu

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Have you thought of a woman with virtue and of a noble character? Find a true Christian girl preferably one who cares for the poor and needy or helps people gladly and expresses love, awe, and praise for Jesus. Not only Churches but Shelters are also places where women with heart and good Christian ethics can be found working as well.

The thing to look for is the inner beauty of the heart and ignore any other requirements. i carefully searched for such a woman and found one 16000 km from where i started. Now 37 years later and with 23 years of illness we are still going strong together and love each other heaps more than when we started.

Ask Jesus to guide you and know that with Him you search and find what is right for you.
 
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pantingdeer

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Well, low self esteem will definitely make you less attractive to girls. So you should work on tackling that probably. What are the reasons you have little confidence?

This girl you're attracted to has problems, too, no matter how nice she is. So it won't be just you sharing problems with her, she'll end up being a burden to you, too, to some degree. That's what relationships are like. So she is definitely not "way too good" for you. You just don't know her well enough, yet. Once you get to know her better, you'll see what I mean.

To attract the kind of girl you want, I would recommend you learn their country's language first of all, if you're determined to find someone from Spain or Poland. Enough to say simple phrases to them and catch their attention with that. Take an opportunity to visit one of those countries and I can guarantee that when you tell a girl you've been to her country she will immediately see you in a different light from everyone else.

Join clubs at the university that are things you really enjoy doing. See if any of the women there fit what you're looking for. If she shares a similar interest, that's a good sign things could work between you.

Well, those are some thoughts...
Wow thank you those are really helpful tips. If you read some of my recend threads you will know my problems. About 3 yrs ago my libido and desire for women suddenly dropped seemingly overnight. I can still tell whether a girl is physically attrcative or not, I just don't don't get the rush of blood or the tingly feelings like I used to. It feels like there's a connection missing in my brain. Makes me feel a bit empty inside and lonely as I cannot tell people how I feel.
I wouldn't want to burden myself on the lovely Poland girl for this reason as she is lovely and deserves someone who'd actually be able to please her.
 
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pantingdeer

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Have you thought of a woman with virtue and of a noble character? Find a true Christian girl preferably one who cares for the poor and needy or helps people gladly and expresses love, awe, and praise for Jesus. Not only Churches but Shelters are also places where women with heart and good Christian ethics can be found working as well.

The thing to look for is the inner beauty of the heart and ignore any other requirements. i carefully searched for such a woman and found one 16000 km from where i started. Now 37 years later and with 23 years of illness we are still going strong together and love each other heaps more than when we started.

Ask Jesus to guide you and know that with Him you search and find what is right for you.
I've already learn a bit of polish. I can say Hello, how are you, good morning, please, thank you.
 
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pantingdeer

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Wow thank you those are really helpful tips. If you read some of my recend threads you will know my problems. About 3 yrs ago my libido and desire for women suddenly dropped seemingly overnight. I can still tell whether a girl is physically attrcative or not, I just don't don't get the rush of blood or the tingly feelings like I used to. It feels like there's a connection missing in my brain. Makes me feel a bit empty inside and lonely as I cannot tell people how I feel.
I wouldn't want to burden myself on the lovely Poland girl for this reason as she is lovely and deserves someone who'd actually be able to please her.
I went to Kraków, Poland last year.
 
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pantingdeer

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Have you thought of a woman with virtue and of a noble character? Find a true Christian girl preferably one who cares for the poor and needy or helps people gladly and expresses love, awe, and praise for Jesus. Not only Churches but Shelters are also places where women with heart and good Christian ethics can be found working as well.

The thing to look for is the inner beauty of the heart and ignore any other requirements. i carefully searched for such a woman and found one 16000 km from where i started. Now 37 years later and with 23 years of illness we are still going strong together and love each other heaps more than when we started.

Ask Jesus to guide you and know that with Him you search and find what is right for you.
What about physical attraction though? Is it not important too?
 
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Jeshu

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What about physical attraction though? Is it not important too?

if you marry on the basis of physical attraction then you forget that you are marrying a fading flower and may well miss the most important beauty - the beauty of the heart. A good looking woman you never have alone for many men will envy you your catch. A good woman will stick even when the going is hard a lot of physically attractive women are to up themselves to be considering gifts like endurance, long suffering, patience, gentleness, kindness, honesty, faithfulness, a forgiving spirit and self control.

When you love a person for who they are instead of what they look like you are on a winner when it comes to marriage. The physical fizzles out but loving a person for who they are grows no matter what they look like.

True love needs little physical attraction to be attracted. It is loving the other that matters most in a faithfully loving relationship.
 
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pantingdeer

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if you marry on the basis of physical attraction then you forget that you are marrying a fading flower and may well miss the most important beauty - the beauty of the heart. A good looking woman you never have alone for many men will envy you your catch. A good woman will stick even when the going is hard a lot of physically attractive women are to up themselves to be considering gifts like endurance, long suffering, patience, gentleness, kindness, honesty, faithfulness, a forgiving spirit and self control.

When you love a person for who they are instead of what they look like you are on a winner when it comes to marriage. The physical fizzles out but loving a person for who they are grows no matter what they look like.

True love needs little physical attraction to be attracted. It is loving the other that matters most in a faithfully loving relationship.
I understand your points very well but I dunno I couldn't go out with someone I didn't find attractive.
 
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pantingdeer

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if you marry on the basis of physical attraction then you forget that you are marrying a fading flower and may well miss the most important beauty - the beauty of the heart. A good looking woman you never have alone for many men will envy you your catch. A good woman will stick even when the going is hard a lot of physically attractive women are to up themselves to be considering gifts like endurance, long suffering, patience, gentleness, kindness, honesty, faithfulness, a forgiving spirit and self control.

When you love a person for who they are instead of what they look like you are on a winner when it comes to marriage. The physical fizzles out but loving a person for who they are grows no matter what they look like.

True love needs little physical attraction to be attracted. It is loving the other that matters most in a faithfully loving relationship.
Maybe I'm a shallow person and can't see the good in people. Do there exist girls that are both attractive inside and out? If so where do I find?
 
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thecolorsblend

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Visit Poland (or Spain) and see if you connect with a Christian girl close to your age.

If you want a Polish or a Spanish woman, I don't see any reason to compromise. And who knows, you might meet a girl who's half Pole/half Spanish.
 
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