How to express emotions? (including worship)

[NapoliaDinosaur]

I have Asperger's, and one of the things I struggle with the most is expressing emotions. It just doesn't come naturally, doesn't make sense to me, and I don't know how to do it. It feels uncomfortable if I try to imitate the way NT's express emotions. Thus my emotions remain simply in my brain; they are not distributed elsewhere in my body (I'm told most people feel anger or nervousness in their stomach, for example. I don't).

The problem with this is that if my emotions become extreme (whether it be extreme anger or extreme joy), my brain gets overloaded by the emotion, can't handle it, and feels like it's going to explode. I have to try to force myself to think of something to bring up the opposite emotion to balance it out, so my brain doesn't overload. For example, in church, during worship, I may feel intense joy and love for God...but when it becomes too intense, my brain can't handle it, and I have to think of something that will bring anger or sadness to my mind, so that the joy won't completely overwhelm and overload my brain. Intense emotions (even positive ones like joy) are uncomfortable and painful, unbearable.

My therapist said I need to find an outlet for these extreme emotions, a way to express them, because maybe if I can express them in some way, they won't remain in my brain and overload it. So I'm wondering: what ways do other people with Asperger's and Autism express emotions? Is there anything simple I can do that won't feel uncomfortable?

 

[LovedSparrow]

Hi!
I'm sorry that no one has responded to you. I think you've asked the million dollar question! I have many unhealthy ways of dealing with emotion. I tend to stuff mine or go numb, and promise myself I'll deal with them later on (crying, listening to music) when I'm alone, after I'm removed from the situation, but they tend to stay down there. I don't deal with them. Oops. A healthy way during worship for me is by crying. I'm self-conscious so I don't do it much but it is a good release for me. Sitting near the back of the church so I don't feel like everyone is staring at the back of my head helps me too.

A good outlet for me would be drawing. Bringing a pad or doodling on the bulletin of what I am feeling. Sitting down is good for me too- if everyone is standing during worship I sit down and I'm able to separate a bit more if I am not feeling good.

Best of luck to you. Do you have any coping skills that you use? An idea popped into mind of if you hold some reading material during worship, and if it gets to be too much, to start reading it to distract yourself when emotions are too high? Would a Bible help to read? May still be a way of worship.

Sorry if these don't help, I know it's hard because everyone is different. Anyone else have any thoughts?

LovedSparrow

 

[NapoliaDinosaur]

Well, I really don't have any coping skills that I can think of. My emotions usually just stay stuck in my mind, which can get pretty stressful and overwhelming when there are multiple emotions or an extreme emotion.

I did buy something called a "spinner ring" though, and it seems to help a little bit. It's just like a regular ring, but the outer part of it rotates, so I can spin it on my finger. It sort of calms me a little bit and acts as a small way of relieving some of the emotion. But it only makes a small difference, and only on less extreme emotions. I feel like I need something more, but I don't want to draw attention to myself.

I tried your suggestion of sitting down during one of the songs at church on Sunday. It was a little uncomfortable at first, because I was worried people would wonder why I randomly sat down, but I felt less awkward and less stressed sitting than when I was standing. So maybe I'll make that a habit. Thanks!

__

 

[jackmt]

My emotions tend to be all or nothing as well. It is very difficult for me to respond to this thread because I have the same difficulties with emotions. I have learned to avoid those situations which evoke strong emotions. I have had to push the Spirit down in me more than once because (I thought) I couldn't handle it. I unhealthily neglect my emotions.

So I don't go to church very often. When I do, I hang around the exits and leave at the greeting and leave early so I won't have to deal with people.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi,
The OP is a very insightful post.
I look at emotions as telling me how I judge a situation. Emotions are good and intelligent.

I was terrible at expressing my emotions for years. I was sell conscious about being demonstrative. I watch people, one of my obsessions. Most people express emotions and are not self conscious, it's what is normal fur NTs. It's not normal to hold emotions inside.

If others express emotions why can't I? If others aren't embarassed, why should I be? A way to get over self conscious actions is to do them enough times that they fell natural. Actors intentionally express emotions over to top. If they can do that , why can't I do that?

Well, gradually, I've learned to. I sway/ dance a little now in church. I speak in tongues quietly in church. Helps I'm in a Penticostal church.

My emotional expression is not a natural flow like most NTs. It's