How to cope being single??

[peacechild4]

No I do not work outside of the home day hiker.. I use my time on the internet to pray and encourage and minister for others.. taking care of family is busy enough.. though I am blessed to be able to live without working..

 

[peacechild4]

There are times when being single isn't a situation that I like being in. In those times I usually try and think of one of my friends who's been though a rough divorce, or the times that I see or hear married people fighting and complaining about how the other one drives them crazy. Being single doesn't seem so bad then.

Thanks for contributing... there are always people worse off.. that is true.. yes sometimes being single is a blessing that way.. I think you have a great attitude!!

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, cowboy, that's a good stratagy to deal with the oppertunity costs of being single, to use an economics term. I do a very similar thing. I look for something I like a bout a situation I'm in and make the my modivation for doing it. Like my last job was very physical and didn't pay well with very limited career path. I focused on it covered 80% of my costs of living and had health insurance and the physical work has me in the best shape I've been in in 20 years or more.

dayhiker

 

[dayhiker]

peacechild,
That is a great place to be in: not having to work and being able to be there for your children. I don't have a negative attitude with having a life on the web. I find it can be very meaningful, educational, etc. Yet I do think it would add to your life if you start to move out into "real world" as your children continue to mature and start their own life. The trick is to figure out what your nich(sp?) will be in that move.

dayhiker

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

peacechild,
That is a great place to be in: not having to work and being able to be there for your children. I don't have a negative attitude with having a life on the web. I find it can be very meaningful, educational, etc. Yet I do think it would add to your life if you start to move out into "real world" as your children continue to mature and start their own life. The trick is to figure out what your nich(sp?) will be in that move.

dayhiker

And how do we do that exactly?

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, that can be pretty tricky to figure out ones nich. But I think its related to our interests, our abilities. Might have to develop one. Its tied in with knowing ourself.

I assume you know that pretty well by now. The trick I think then is to find out how to apply that locally to a need in your part of the country.

dayhiker

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Ya, that can be pretty tricky to figure out ones nich. But I think its related to our interests, our abilities. Might have to develop one. Its tied in with knowing ourself.

I assume you know that pretty well by now. The trick I think then is to find out how to apply that locally to a need in your part of the country.

dayhiker

Ha Ha...do you know how to spell assume? J/K I'm just jokin....I just don't want to "join" something so I can "hopefully" meet someone, cuz I feel like that would be doing it for the wrong motive and I don't want that. Sorry, I'm in a fiesty mood today. Yesterday I was kinda down about being single, and today...fiesty...go figure.

 

[peacechild4]

Thats good I have been praying for you and me.. I believe good things are happening even now as I type just the right thing we both need.. ((Hugs))

 

[dayhiker]

MbM .. why is it a wrong motive to join a group with the hopes of meeting someone?

 

[Bridgit]

How do I cope with being single? I try not to think about it, and just live my life the best I can with what I've got. You know from our previous posts that I did not choose to be single, but unfortunately my husband died. The times it bothers me is when I see my girlfriend and her husband all lovey dovey, or hear another friend talk about how much their spouse does for them or vise versa. The other day, my ex son in law came over with his girlfriend to replace my garbage disposal. And the girlfriend says to me, (we're friends so it's OK) "you need to get out and start dating" and I was like, really? who? where? And I ended up explaining that no one has come in my radar that was interested in me, or vise versa, so.....???And I am done with trying to "help" God find someone for me or "help" God do anything in my life cuz that just never works well (ask Abraham). Do I get lonely? Heck yeah. Do I think about being with someone? yeah. But the way I figure it, God has the best plan so until he brings someone into my life I will be single. That and also the fact that I would have to get over the question "what if this guy that's interested in me is a serial killer?" And I stick to the words of my Pastor, "Live, don't look" and keep my focus on my kids and my relationship with God.

That's exactly how I feel!

It's not easy for me either but I know that God is in control and knows exactly what we need. We don't!

I don't want to make a mistake because I don't like pain and it's too painful to mess up because we decided to take charge of our life.

And I am done with trying to "help" God find someone for me or "help" God do anything in my life cuz that just never works well (ask Abraham).

I like your sense of humor!

 

[peacechild4]

Hi Bridget.. she does have a wonderful sense of humor I agree..

 

[peacechild4]

MbM .. why is it a wrong motive to join a group with the hopes of meeting someone?

Dayhiker I think it may be the way to meet someone.. because they are there because they want to meet someone.. have you ever done this and if so how did it work out??

I joined something here in Australia.. but only have my profile online at the moment.. I think you have to pay to send messages and perhaps that is why nobody has commented yet.. LOL.. I am not going to say I will go that far.. it kinda feels weeird to read peoples profiles.. I keep thinking... I don't fit into anyones ideal partner so why even try.. I guess sometimes you have to be a bit bold and just go for it and try even if there are a few things different.. Maybe..

 

[dayhiker]

Peacechild,
Before I got my GF I did a lot of things (dating, hiking, dinner) and they worked out really well. I've hiked with quite a few people I meet thru the web. Otherwise I usually hike by myself. I found I like the free dating sites. The pay ones interfere too much so we have to keep paying them money. Plentoffish.com I really liked. Its free and I could control all contacts.
I also liked meetup.com. There is a group for about every interest.

Lots of ways to get out and meet people that are also looking for freinds. That's what I've found.

dayhiker

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Its not wrong to join a group in order to meet "people". I just don't want to join so I can hopefully meet someone. It's always good to broaden our horizons, unfortunately I am an extremely suspicious person, since my husband passed (I didn't use to be this extreme). If I join a group it should be because I have "like" interests or share the intended "goal" or something like that. That's what I meant. It's what's in my heart that I am weighing, if that makes any sense.

 

[dayhiker]

I agree MbM ... no reason to meet people that have a completely different interest than you do. So I'm saying to find a group that you are interested in or want to learn about.

 

[Gibsonian]

seeing as for many years I prayed for my husband to know GOD and we have peace.. the more I prayed the worse it got..

Maybe God answered your prayer as best he could, by releasing you from a man that would not use his God given free will to go the right way, even with God speaking to him. Maybe your best days on this earth are ahead of you, and you just don't know it.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I agree MbM ... no reason to meet people that have a completely different interest than you do. So I'm saying to find a group that you are interested in or want to learn about.

no, that's not what I meant. I meant I don't want to join a group if my intention in my heart is so hopefully, I can meet someone to date. That would not be joining for the right reasons. Of course I wouldn't join a group of something I am not interested in. So I need to purify my heart first and get the whole idea of meeting anyone to date out of my mind period...at least initially.

 

[dayhiker]

lol ... MbM ... we see life so differently. I'd say its always the right reason to join a group to meet people even to meet a mate. I'd only say your motive was impure if you wanted tio join a group to find someone to kill or to steal from or to find someone to start all kinds of mean rumors about .. that type of thing.

dayhiker

 

[peacechild4]

Maybe God answered your prayer as best he could, by releasing you from a man that would not use his God given free will to go the right way, even with God speaking to him. Maybe your best days on this earth are ahead of you, and you just don't know it.

So sorry I missed seeing this.. yes perhaps you are right.. you must be.. I believe there is so much better days ahead.. being with someone who doesn't feel the same about you is not the best there is.. I just shake my head at how easily he stopped caring.... after all those years.. it is very very sad.. I know that part will take me time to heal from.. even after a year I just cannot sweep my feeling away like he seems to have.. or maybe he never had them.. he says things died a long time ago.. which makes everything he said like a lie..

 

[dayhiker]

I don't know this guy at all so have no idea about who he is: lier or something else.

Thought I'd make a general comment tho. Now that I'm getting older, its clear to me that some people change their views on life and view on some issues. Those changes take time and then one has to decide when to let ones spouce know about those changes. They then have to work thru that cahnge. It's my view that the longer a spouce waits to talk about the changes they are going thru the more tension and dramtic the change will be. To me this doesn't make a person a lier.

dayhiker