How to cope being single??

[peacechild4]

My husband was often disrespectful.. yelling.. swearing.. cursing me.. not physically abusive but pushed me around a few times..

He found it hard to show emotions.. I could go to piece in front of him and nothing.. which of course made it worse..

We were together since teens... he was kind of always doing his thing.. me doing my thing.. not that I wanted that.. just the way it worked.. He is happier alone.. and although he said we argued alot.. mostly if I am honest.. he was yelling and angry and I annoyed him even just to talk and how often does parents need to talk about kids and stuff.. just general stuff..

I just want to be with someone who will talk back without getting angry.. I don't always need an answer.. just someone to listen sometimes.. I love him.. but I put up with a lot of crap... sorry but it was... and maybe I should not have let him treat me so.. and for so long.. I just stuck in there in... and took it.. loving him back.. being kind.. turning the other cheek I guess..

I think he is honest about it.. not trying hide it.. but in other ways he is not honest because he sees me as "the problem" he was angry at me.. because... I did this... or did that..

He is not as angry now.. but as he puts it.. we are not together.. so I cannot win with the anger thing.. obviously to him... it was me..

 

[peacechild4]

ha.. thanks for listening.. I know this latest bit was more about him.. I am not man bashing.. I know there were things.. are still things if we came back together I would do differently.. he says I have not changed at all.. sigh.. won't give me a chance.. says unless I do this and that.. he would not even consider coming back... I do not ask anything of him.. anything at all.. I just want to love unconditionally..

 

[peacechild4]

Sorry sharing time.. I am waiting for a party to end soon.. eighteenth party held here at home.. my sons are helping me.. has been a bit hairy.. here in Australia the young ones drink alcohol at eighteen years.. so one of those parties.. For my daughters boyfriend who is boarding with us presently because something horrible happened to him where he was staying last.. he had nowhere else to go.. I took him in and agreed to having the party here.. sigh.. nights like this.. or early mornings like this are when I miss a man beside me most of all.. a father figure to help these precious young people.. My sons have all been amazing.. I am so proud of them.. although my oldest 19 drinks.. he is not like the other silly youth who lose it.. he is respectful.. and kind and caring and has helped when some trouble broke out tonight.. and my other two sons are 16 and 12 and all have helped... Mostly I done the majority of child raising.. my husband lived with us but I did most of the child raising.. he sees more of them now having them every week or so for a few days... works nights so that makes it difficult but does not spend a lot of time with kids raising them if that makes sense.. Being alone though is still very difficult when raising them.. but I love them so..

 

[cowboysfan1970]

My sons have all been amazing.. I am so proud of them

What does this tell you? It tells me that you have a lot more than you think you do. When I was in my teens and early 20s I thought wealth had everything to do with how much money someone had. Now at 40 I really don't see it that way anymore. Out of the group of people that I grew up with I am the only one that hasn't been married and has no kids. I hear them sometimes complain about money problems and what's so ironic about that is that I work around money. What they don't seem to always see is that they have a wealth that can't be bought in a store, measured by a portfolio, or created by a hedge fund manager. Sometimes I think they take what they have for granted.

 

[Gwenyfur]

I must be the odd one out on "coping" with being single.

After 2 bad marriages...the first hubby tried to kill me and the 2nd left me for another woman...I figure I'm just not meant to be married heh ...

I enjoy being single...I enjoy the freedom of being able to spend "me" time when I want to, dating can be fun...but truly exhausting at times...

I've a solid group of friends that are a mixture of married, single, poly, gay, straight, bi and we get together a couple of times a month and go out and "terrorize" the town...(translate: go sit at a coffee shop and visit, chat, laugh, and enjoy ourselves)

I count myself blessed to be single, to have the time and freedom to enjoy life without too many strings attached to me these days. My only child left at home is 12 and starting her own social life of roller skating, slumber parties, etc...add that with the summer visits to grandparents, aunts and uncles...

It's life, live it to its fullest...and remember your value resides within you...not in a proposed future or past spouse's opinion of you

 

[peacechild4]

You sound like a fun person who is living life to the fullest... I am happy for you... It is good to be this way..
Thank you for your encouragement and beautiful spirit..