How to begin again?

[the sad clown]

I was a Christian for many years, studied Christianity with intensity, but lost my faith a few years ago. I am wanting to get some advice on how I should go about regaining it. I have decided to start reading the Bible again and trying to pray, but am not sure how to best go about this. Is there somewhere in the Bible I should start reading? I don't need to be introduced to Christianity as much as helped back into believing it again.

 

[ebia]

I was a Christian for many years, studied Christianity with intensity, but lost my faith a few years ago. I am wanting to get some advice on how I should go about regaining it. I have decided to start reading the Bible again and trying to pray, but am not sure how to best go about this. Is there somewhere in the Bible I should start reading? I don't need to be introduced to Christianity as much as helped back into believing it again.

I would suggest the absolute first thing to do is to find a vibrant community.

Then start re-reading one of the Gospels - maybe Luke given the season - in a fresh light. Perhaps following a lectio-divina pattern, or pick up a fresh translation quite different to the ones you are used to, or get hold of a copy of Tom Wright's Luke for Everyone or similar. Something that will bring it alive afresh.

 

[andreha]

If you like, I can share some testimonies that touched my heart very deeply. You're most welcome to PM me.

I was a Christian for many years, studied Christianity with intensity, but lost my faith a few years ago. I am wanting to get some advice on how I should go about regaining it. I have decided to start reading the Bible again and trying to pray, but am not sure how to best go about this. Is there somewhere in the Bible I should start reading? I don't need to be introduced to Christianity as much as helped back into believing it again.

 

[the sad clown]

I would suggest the absolute first thing to do is to find a vibrant community.

I am already in a church that I am committed to, so I think that one is taken care of.

Then start re-reading one of the Gospels - maybe Luke given the season - in a fresh light. Perhaps following a lectio-divina pattern, or pick up a fresh translation quite different to the ones you are used to, or get hold of a copy of Tom Wright's Luke for Everyone or similar. Something that will bring it alive afresh.

Thank you for the suggestion.

If you like, I can share some testimonies that touched my heart very deeply. You're most welcome to PM me.

Thank you for the offer. I'm not much for testimonies, but I appreciate the offer.

 

[ebia]

I am already in a church that I am committed to, so I think that one is taken care of.

I'm pleased to hear it. Though it's possible that a time in a refreshingly different community might be what is needed.

 

[Bryanfromiowa]

Is there somewhere in the Bible I should start reading?

I'd say start with the story of the prodigal son then reaffirm your faith in prayer.

 

[the sad clown]

I'm pleased to hear it. Though it's possible that a time in a refreshingly different community might be what is needed.

Easier said than done. My wife and children are also there. I would be uprooting them and I really don't want to do that.

I'd say start with the story of the prodigal son then reaffirm your faith in prayer.

Well, I can read the prodigal son and try to pray, but I'll need to have some faith before I can reaffirm it.

 

[Celticflower]

I think the very fact that you are wanting to try to regain your faith speaks volumes. Maybe you don't need to "regain" it as much as to find what dark shelf you stuck it on for a while.

I agree with those who recommend reading the Gospels from a translation other than the one you are most familiar with. Just a slight change of wording (without changing the meaning) can open your eyes to something you may have missed before. Or using a chronological version to follow the whole arc of Jesus ministry on earth without feeling like you are jumping back and forth and re-reading things.

But mostly I'd advise you to not give up. Pray, even if you are unsure. Remember that faith the size of a mustard seed can work wonders.

 

[the sad clown]

Thank you Celticflower, but I have motivations beyond just myself. My wife is unhappy with the current situation, and I want her to be happy as well. Thus it isn't clear how much of my decision is any residual faith on my part and how much of it is the desire to remove an obstacle to my wife's happiness. It isn't even clear to myself.

 

[ebia]

Easier said than done. My wife and children are also there. I would be uprooting them and I really don't want to do that.

Fair enough. Would a retreat and/or a change of role within your community be feasible?

 

[Celticflower]

Thank you Celticflower, but I have motivations beyond just myself. My wife is unhappy with the current situation, and I want her to be happy as well. Thus it isn't clear how much of my decision is any residual faith on my part and how much of it is the desire to remove an obstacle to my wife's happiness. It isn't even clear to myself.

One maybe feeding off the other. Whatever the reasons for this quest it is a good one and I wish you well on the journey. May you find what you truly seek.

 

[Bryanfromiowa]

start over read the gospels pray begin by praying for your wife and simply ask god to lead you

 

[the sad clown]

Fair enough. Would a retreat and/or a change of role within your community be feasible?

Something like that might be possible. I'll talk it over with my wife and maybe pastor.

One maybe feeding off the other. Whatever the reasons for this quest it is a good one and I wish you well on the journey. May you find what you truly seek.

I agree. I am not too worried about analyzing my motives and am more interested in simply moving forward.

start over read the gospels pray begin by praying for your wife and simply ask god to lead you

Thank you. That sounds like a good suggestion.

 

[plumsink]

Start talking to God, would be my advice. Just go to a quiet room somewhere, close the door, and start talking.

It also sounds like you are more motivated to restart your relation to God to make your wife happy, than because you yourself want to. I don't mean to assume something that may not be true, but it sounds like that is what you are saying.

As long as the main desire is to please your wife not to please God, I think you might meet with limited success. That would be like me saying, I want to be friends with you because my wife wants me to, not because I want to. That doesn't work.

Good luck in your searching! I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[the sad clown]

It also sounds like you are more motivated to restart your relation to God to make your wife happy, than because you yourself want to. I don't mean to assume something that may not be true, but it sounds like that is what you are saying.

As long as the main desire is to please your wife not to please God, I think you might meet with limited success. That would be like me saying, I want to be friends with you because my wife wants me to, not because I want to. That doesn't work.

Thanks. I understand what you are saying, but it isn't easy to make yourself get excited about something that you aren't excited about. I was very motivated to seek God when I first began losing my faith. But it is really difficult to keep up that sort of mental and emotional torture, wishing and hoping to regain your faith but watching it deteriorate further and further. Those years were some of the worst, darkest times of my life, and I have only just begun to recover from it by resigning myself to the fact that I may not be able to recover my faith by my own effort. I have just recently come to a point where I feel like I can open up the Bible and read it again without becoming depressed at the lack of feeling God's presence when I read it. I still don't know what to expect when I read it (haven't started yet, I hope to either tonight or tomorrow), but at least I think I am at a point where I can accept it and continue on.

So, I think you are definitely right, there is an element of reluctance in me, a fear that trying to read the bible and pray again is going to send me back into that dark period of my life, a place I definitely do not want to go back to. But I am motivated by my wife, and by the hope that I have moved beyond this point and can handle it again. I would not mind regaining my faith as well, but I acknowledge that there is some fear in me, and it probably would need my wife encouraging me to push me past this fear.

 

[talitha]

Greetings, sad clown.....

I had some crises of faith and to be honest some serious rebellion-against-God issues when I was in my twenties, and the path back to fellowship with Him was a broken one. The consistent things were crying out for him to change me - my thoughts, my beliefs, my emotions, etc. - because I knew I couldn't do it myself, reading the Bible (mainly at that point in the Psalms), and being obedient to anything I felt he was leading me to do, even if it didn't make sense to me (for example, recording sermons over my dark-music tapes - that definitely makes sense now, years later).

My husband's path back to that fellowship with God began, I think, like yours, with a desire for harmony between himself and me. It may not seem valid at first blush - it didn't to me at the time, really - but God can change our motivations!! And He has changed my husband's motivations, after several years. Now we are both serving God and walking in much greater harmony with each other.

I encourage you to just keep moving toward the Lord. I think He will meet you!!!

blessings
tal

 

[the sad clown]

Thank you Tal. I don't feel much of any leading right now, but perhaps that will change once I've spent some time reading the bible and trying to pray.

 

[kevlite2020]

Hey man... I want to suggest reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. I know that helped me a lot in the beginning of my walk with Christ, seeing what it was like for the Hebrews before Christ had come, seeing how badly they needed Him and what they were told about Him, what they were looking forward to. After reading that, and reading the glory of Him actually coming and healing the sick, going as far to even die for our sins, that helps me a lot.

And at the end of the day, you have to truly prepare your heart to seek God and you have to go about it with all of your heart. I know your wife is a big motivation for you to reexamine your faith, but it will never be real to you unless you are seeking it out for yourself. A prayer that may help: "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!"

 

[the sad clown]

Thank you for your encouragement Kevlite2020. Isaiah does sound interesting, but I have been thinking of just starting with Genesis and reading through, unless anyone thinks this is a really bad idea.

 

[talitha]

Not a bad idea. I love the Story from the beginning of God's romance with people.