How old do you have to be, to be considering marrying someone?

[justaspeck]

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[Emmaleuk]

Get ready.

You're not ready to even mention the word love.
I'm 17. Let me tell you about myself.

At 15 I thought I liked this girl and I did.
I LIKED her.
Well we started talking eventually began dating..
After 2 weeks I told her I loved her.
After 6 months we were promised.
We dated for a little over a year.

I THOUGHT I was mature enough to know what it meant and I THOUGHT I loved her, but the truth is I didn't.

Now I'm single, as you can see.
Obviously, it fell through.

Why?
At this age I don't understand love.
At this age we thing love is about being cute and fun with one another, about breath taking and emotions.
Love's not at all like that.
That's part of it but a very small part.

God didn't create you, to be thinking about marriage at 15. Atleast I don't believe so.

I dated the girl for a year, did I like her?
Yes.
Was she cute?
Yes.

I think God has much bigger and better plans for you, sweet child.
You're at the age where you're becoming strong and mature.

My advice,
Run into Gods arms and fully focus on Him.
Date, but not seriously...if you do.
I personally haven't found anything worth holding onto in dating yet.
And It's not because the girls were odd.
It's because I've found that Chasing God is unlike anything else.

Consider this.
If you spend your life with this guy from 15 (a maturing age) till death, where can you WHOLLY serve God?
You can't...

Pray my friend.

Ok I think i'd have to completely disagree with most of your post.
Just because of your experience, this doesn't mean that someone at 15 is too young to be thinking of marriage. You said "God didn't create you, to be thinking about marriage at 15. Atleast I don't believe so." I don't agree here either. I don't think we will ever be able to make statements like this. If you think about it, women in the Bible were married and with child very young, it is simply how society has developed that has perhaps changed our viewpoint.
I'm not saying that every 15 year old is ready to be thnking about marriage, but I do think that if you are 15 and in a serious relationship then it is fine to be thinking about the future.
"Date, but not seriously...if you do." This undermines the meaning of love. Perhaps this is why you have difficulty. Perhaps its just the way i've been brought up, but I don't understand why you would casually date knowing that you don't even want to take things seriously. I'm not talking from lack of experience here either because yes I have had casual relationships...and believe me, they do much harm.

So my advice to the original question...if you are mature enough then no, it's not a bad thing. However, I would advise you also to let this be something that you pray about so much. Let God be the one to guide you...because he will...and he knows best.
God bless

 

[AwesomeWonder]

Hello all!

I don't know if any of the people who posted in the thread above still use ChristianForums - I know the last time I logged in was 2007! But I just rediscovered my account and was quite amazed to re-read this thread.

I'm still with the same guy, and I just turned 18 last week. I think for the last four years I've been falling progressively more and more in love with him. I'm still not going to rush into anything - I'm going to university this September, and I think it's smart to get my degree before getting married - but I just wanted to let you all know that it turns out I had good taste in boys when I was 14 because he's grown into an amazing young man!

I also just want to say that I'm so glad to read the advice you gave me when I was much younger and more immature. Blessings to all of you for the sincerity and wisdom of your advice. xxxx

 

[gzt]

At 18, you may very well be old enough to decide to get married. However, I don't think it's a wise idea to decide to get married to somebody you're dating right now in 7-8 years.

 

[gzt]

Date, but not seriously...if you do.
I personally haven't found anything worth holding onto in dating yet.
And It's not because the girls were odd.
It's because I've found that Chasing God is unlike anything else.

Consider this.
If you spend your life with this guy from 15 (a maturing age) till death, where can you WHOLLY serve God?
You can't...

I think this is terrible advice in that dating "but not seriously" is a bad idea. I don't think a 15 yr old can date seriously (that is to say, with the intention of marriage), but an 18 yr old can.

Also a marriage is a path for pursuing sanctification. Dating, not so much, but marriage, yes. You can wholly serve God within your marriage.

 

[Manda_24]

Congratulations on still being together. I have a friend who married her high school sweetheart. They got married during their senior year of college. I have several other friends that got married while in college, I'm getting married this August and I'll still be in school. You may not need to wait 7-8 more years to get married, in my opinion that would be really hard to do.

Also, not saying this is going to happen to you or anything but it's just something to think about. One of my best friends in high school had dated someone all through high school and they went to college together, they ended up breaking up that year. So just because you're dating now and have dated for quite a while doesn't mean you're always going to be together. Just make sure you're careful. Again, I don't know you or your relationship I just wanted to share that just for something to think about.

 

[gzt]

I just noticed how old the thread was and the post that resurrected it. Well, anyway...

 

[DCHSKNIGHT]

hey sister...

Let me tell ya, i talk with my Girlfriend about marriage all the time. I PERSONALY believe it be healthy and a good idea.. don't get caught up in the idea of marriage but really think and discuss with your partner if that is where you both see your selves going and if GOD has you going that way.

Now as for age, Who cares... My Pastor got married at the ripe old age of 19. if God is calling you to get married, get your self married. There is no real answer of "oh you have to be this Mile stone age".

I do think there should be some considerations, like Financial situation, Spirtualty levels of both parties, job situations. I do how ever also say if you wait for ther perfect moment you will never get it. No one is perfect and we wont be till we are standing with Christ.

So, if Christ is calling you right now to get married at 18, then get married enjoy your husband and your life with him. If not... Then Stay single and enjoy your life with Christ and focus on him your life with him. Pray for your heart to be ready for your husband, And love being single.

Just a hint, there are blessing to being single, like not having to worry about what the other person thinks or anything. ENJOY IT! Even though it is amazing to have someone else to think about and serve. I know i love it. Serveing her has been one of my greatest joys besides going to church and loveing God!

 

[lifetheuniverse]

If you are both whole enough to live a full life and support yourselves living alone, then you are both whole enough to live a full life and support each other living together.

Marriage is easy. Raising kids with the ability to give them a certain lifestyle, that's hard. It's not that wise to wait too long for marriage- pre-marital sex is almost a certainty if you put off finding a mate in your early twenties by the time you reach college.

 

[skatepixie]

A few things.

Number one, it isn't about age but about maturity and your state(s) in life. If the two of you could support yourselves, without help from parents (except for maybe tuition or whatever), then it might be possible. However, forever is a very long time, and that needs to be taken into account as well.

To me, "dating" should not occur without a reasonable change of marriage in the next few years. No marriage in the nearish future? No dating. This is because dating without aim toward marriage is pointless, while dating with an aim toward marriage with no end in sight causes too much chance of falling into sin. Yes, time is needed to get to know one another, etc, but nothing more than friendship should occur if marriage is impossible within the next few years.

 

[Luther073082]

Blind Post:

Its more about Maturity then age. Although, I really don't think anyone should get married prior to 23. I just don't think its a good idea in our modern world.

It probably can't hurt to consider marrying someone, but to actually start the process you should wait until you are 22 - 23.

My reasons are a couple.

1. Is that a lot of people change a lot between 18 and 22. I certainly did, so do others. They are just becomming an adult, may be seperated more from their parents, especially if they are off at college or living on their own. And they get more of an opprotunity to decide things for themselves and learn things for themselves.

2. All statistics show that getting married before 20 is very high in terms of divorce rate.

3. I really think people need some amount of time to figure out how to be an adult on their own. Learning to be an adult is best done as a single and not married. There is so much more damage that can be done when you try to learn to be an adult while you are married. Because you are going to make mistakes, but the mistakes have much higher consequences when you make them while married.

 

[Wirraway]

my parents were married at 17 and were still married on the day she passed away 67 years later. on the other hand...

 

[Sunset2009]

I don't know what is too young, but in my honest opinion, getting married at 25+ is very old.

 

[J1A1H]

You get married when you feel it is right. I live in a jewish society and a lot of my neighbours that are younger than me but i grew up with are now either engaged or married. I am 23 and i am not even considering any of these things any time soon. Maybe people look at it differently, but i feel that i need a secure job and all of those things before i can settle down and have a family. More importantly i dont feel i have explored the world enough or found what i am really looking for in my self yet.

 

[Luther073082]

Deleted: I didn't know that I had already posted in this thread. DOH!!!