How old do you have to be, to be considering marrying someone?

[AwesomeWonder]

Notice I said "considering" marrying someone, not actually marrying them right at that moment... (I'm not getting married anytime soon )

I was just wondering what you thought about this though.

Treat me like an adult when you answer this post; I realise I'm probably really young to be asking this question, but I'm intelligent and responsible and would appreciate non-patronising answers. *grin* Thank you.

God bless you all.

<3 xxx

 

[joyouspirit]

You can be 25 but still not mature to handle the responsibilities of being married. Though you can be 35 and still not ready. It's all about maturity.

God bless!!!

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

There is no blanket statement that can be made unfortunately, though it would probably make things easier on us right?

This is a person by person basis. Marriage may be right for one 20 yr old, but not for the other. People mature at different ages, have different experiences, and want different things. So there is not one universal age.

I think that when a person realizes that marriage is going to take more then love to work they are more ready. When they are financially stable and mature enough to handle adult decisions.

Personally, I don't see myself getting married at all before I finish my undergrad work at school, but thats just me. My best friend who is 6 months younger then me is having her first anniversary in May, and she is thrilled with being married. So again, it just depends on the person.

 

[AwesomeWonder]

Hmm, okay. Thanks for your input guys.

Like I said, I'm certainly not planning to get married anytime soon... I was asking because I'm dating my best friend, I've liked him for five years so I don't expect that will change anytime soon, and the other day he asked me if he could see us getting married in 7 or 8 years.

It seems possible to me.

I'm not sure if I'm being ridiculous in seriously thinking that at my age. The "in 7 or 8 years" part is important by the way

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Hmm, okay. Thanks for your input guys.

Like I said, I'm certainly not planning to get married anytime soon... I was asking because I'm dating my best friend, I've liked him for five years so I don't expect that will change anytime soon, and the other day he asked me if he could see us getting married in 7 or 8 years.

It seems possible to me.

I'm not sure if I'm being ridiculous in seriously thinking that at my age. The "in 7 or 8 years" part is important by the way

I wouldn't even be thinking about it right now at your age and I am really NOT being patronizing.

I don't mean to be a downer but the percentage of people who marry their childhood sweethearts (or whatever you want to call it, lol) is VERY small. Also, the person you will be in 7 or 8 years is going to be completely different from the person that you are now. I know it doesnt seem that way, but trust me. I can't believe even how much I have changed in that time.

 

[AwesomeWonder]

Yeah, I know, I expect to change a lot too. Thanks for being honest btw.

I'm only thinking of it, not picking out my wedding dress, you know

Hmmm.... are you specifically telling me not to think about it? If so, why not?

Please continue with your frank honesty

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Yeah, I know, I expect to change a lot too. Thanks for being honest btw.

I'm only thinking of it, not picking out my wedding dress, you know

Hmmm.... are you specifically telling me not to think about it? If so, why not?

Please continue with your frank honesty

Yay, I'm glad that you can see I'm not being patronizing!

I am not telling you at all not to think about it. I mean c'mon what girl doesn't think about her wedding and marriage and all that right? Its FUN to think about. But think about it lightly. Don't say "This is exactly what my life is going to be." because in doing that you are just setting yourself up for disappointement, and thats not fun. I have a cousin who is a year younger then me who had her dress and wedding colors all picked out by the time that she was 15. At one point she even had the wedding date picked out! IMO thats a bit extreme, don't ya think? Also, when you do that you can almost be blind to what other things God has in store for you and you can miss out on things.

I remember being 14 and thinking exactly how my life was going to be now at 21, and let me tell ya, its not ANYTHING like I thought it would be. I honestly thought I would be enaged at this point in my life or at the very least be involved in a serious relationship, but here I am now and I have never been in a serious relationship and thats okay too. Would I change any of my life now though? No I wouldn't, I'm having way too much fun

So, all I am saying is yes, have fun imagining what your life is going to be. But also at the same time realize that its probably not going to be that way, and that is ok too.

 

[AwesomeWonder]

Okay, awesome, that's where I feel I'm at (your last two lines). And yeah, I have basically said "Okay God, if you want me to marry him eventually, make it happen"

Wow, your cousin is a bit scary (I don't mean that meanly, hehe)

I s'pose its okay for me to talk about it with him, right?

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Okay, awesome, that's where I feel I'm at (your last two lines). And yeah, I have basically said "Okay God, if you want me to marry him eventually, make it happen"

Wow, your cousin is a bit scary (I don't mean that meanly, hehe)

I s'pose its okay for me to talk about it with him, right?

Nah, its okay. My cousin scares me too


Eh, I don't know about talking it with him persay. Can you maybe give me an example of how you would talk about it?

 

[AwesomeWonder]

Ah, I'm not entirely sure what I meant either

I guess I'm asking, should I tell him that I can imagine marrying him, or is it best he doesn't know that? Does talking about it make it more serious?

Hehe, okay, I'm re-reading my questions now, I guess it depends on the people and what you're saying, okay, I may have answered my own questions.

Wow, I'm talking to myself.

I do apologise.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Ah, I'm not entirely sure what I meant either

I guess I'm asking, should I tell him that I can imagine marrying him, or is it best he doesn't know that? Does talking about it make it more serious?

Hehe, okay, I'm re-reading my questions now, I guess it depends on the people and what you're saying, okay, I may have answered my own questions.

Wow, I'm talking to myself.

I do apologise.

Lol, its ok. I do the same thing

And yes, I think that talking about it with him will make it more serious, so it may not be the best idea.

Are you guys dating or are you just friends?

 

[AwesomeWonder]

Dating, for a few months now. Yay.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Dating, for a few months now. Yay.

Ah ok, I thought you guys were just friends.

But still, I don't think its a very good idea. Give it a couple years, if you guys are still together then MAYBE.

Of course, what I am saying is not necessarily what is going to work for you. Take and do with it what you want. But at this point in life, I don't think anybody is ready to be talking about marriage with a SO.

But go ahead and dream all you want

 

[AwesomeWonder]

*grins* Okay. You're a very honest and enlightening person and may God bless you for it

Have a great weekend

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

*grins* Okay. You're a very honest and enlightening person and may God bless you for it

Have a great weekend

Thank you very much for the kind words.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend yourself

 

[BeautifulDestiny09]

oh wow, 14 and thinking about marriage? I knew I wasnt getting married anytime soon...lol...even though I did have a boyfriend but back then I was picking the wrong kind of guys anyhow!
I think about how I was when I was 14 and now that I'm 21...I'm SOOO different, so is the guy I was dating back then..and he still hasnt grown up!

 

[Timyone]

id hope for 25, but really depends on the person, because im nearly 25, and havent done any more of the stuff i say you should do before marridge, than when i was 21


(the main thing id say is go out at least a few years first!!)

 

[Agelous]

Get ready.

You're not ready to even mention the word love.
I'm 17. Let me tell you about myself.

At 15 I thought I liked this girl and I did.
I LIKED her.
Well we started talking eventually began dating..
After 2 weeks I told her I loved her.
After 6 months we were promised.
We dated for a little over a year.

I THOUGHT I was mature enough to know what it meant and I THOUGHT I loved her, but the truth is I didn't.

Now I'm single, as you can see.
Obviously, it fell through.

Why?
At this age I don't understand love.
At this age we thing love is about being cute and fun with one another, about breath taking and emotions.
Love's not at all like that.
That's part of it but a very small part.

God didn't create you, to be thinking about marriage at 15. Atleast I don't believe so.

I dated the girl for a year, did I like her?
Yes.
Was she cute?
Yes.

I think God has much bigger and better plans for you, sweet child.
You're at the age where you're becoming strong and mature.

My advice,
Run into Gods arms and fully focus on Him.
Date, but not seriously...if you do.
I personally haven't found anything worth holding onto in dating yet.
And It's not because the girls were odd.
It's because I've found that Chasing God is unlike anything else.

Consider this.
If you spend your life with this guy from 15 (a maturing age) till death, where can you WHOLLY serve God?
You can't...

Pray my friend.

 

[wikawika]

Hey Hey! I think alot of good points have been made ...the best thing being its a person by person basis...I think its just important to let God have his way...and to not pass by any things he is calling you to on account of people being concerned with their own desires (i am not talking about anyone with this comment haha just so no one gets offended)

But I like the point made about waiting till you are done with your undergrad etc. I think God may definately plant desires to get married some day or at a certain point in life but its true we have to be honourable in the things he brings us first...so for me he has given me the ability to go to university so I finish with that and will then be ready to take the next blessing/learning experience he puts in my life...if he chooses to of course...best of luck!!!

 

[Paddington]

I'd say you're too young to be thinking about marriage - I'd also say I'M too young to be thinking about marriage, but I still am Not that I'm drawing up the seating plan or anything, but I do *think* about it. I think all girls do. Just don't think about it so much that you build up your hopes of this relationship ending in marriage so much that if it does fall through you're not completely broken by it. Hope that makes sense