Hi Moms of teenagers! I was just wondering how old boys are when they start to have we dreams. My son is going on 12. I want him to be prepared and not scared. As a singlemom, I have no idea! I was just curious.
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How old are boys when they have wet dreams?
- Thread starter SelfProtect
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Usually around the age of 12 or 13 -- you should start talking to him about puberty and changes ASAP.
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Thanks parentofteen13. I actually heard tapes by Dennis Raney about teaching kids about age-appropriate discussions about sex. He gave suggestions PLUS said it should be discussed at LEAST once a year before school starts (because school is usually the place they get this information). We've been talking about it for years. Little by little since before he entered pre-k. We can talk pretty open about it because of that. Of course that could change in the next year or two. Thanks for your input.
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Risen Tree
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I'm 22 and still have them. :o :o
Twelve years old is almost too late to start talking about sexual issues with your son. In these conversations, the embarassment often disappears about 30 seconds into the conversation. So get to it, Mom.
Or you can let Dad talk about them as Bookman has suggested.
Twelve years old is almost too late to start talking about sexual issues with your son. In these conversations, the embarassment often disappears about 30 seconds into the conversation. So get to it, Mom.
Or you can let Dad talk about them as Bookman has suggested.
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Ummm, aren't guys supposed to be 'flushing' out their system one way or another through most of adulthood?Rising Tree said:
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Risen Tree
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I really don't know, for obvious reasons. Do celibate older men have wet dreams?
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Please do talk to him ASAP. He honestly probably knows about them by that age, but it's important for boys to hear this stuff from their parents.
Please just let him know that God created his parts and all the frustration that comes with them. They are a blessing, and he should not be ashamed of them. Too often boys are left to figure stuff out on their own, and it can be very scary and frustrating.
Please just let him know that God created his parts and all the frustration that comes with them. They are a blessing, and he should not be ashamed of them. Too often boys are left to figure stuff out on their own, and it can be very scary and frustrating.
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I go to a moms support group and we had a speaker once
about this and puberty and the speaker said that it can happen
as early as 10 years old. My son is 10 and I have talked to him
about all of this stuff. He was not embarrassed at all. My parents never talked
to me about anything and I just don't want to do that to my kids. Most of the stuff I heard when I was 11 and 12 years old was not even right and I was so confused. Better to get it all out in the open and do not act like it is something to be embarrassed about. Pray before you talk to your kids. The Lord will give you all the right words to say.
about this and puberty and the speaker said that it can happen
as early as 10 years old. My son is 10 and I have talked to him
about all of this stuff. He was not embarrassed at all. My parents never talked
to me about anything and I just don't want to do that to my kids. Most of the stuff I heard when I was 11 and 12 years old was not even right and I was so confused. Better to get it all out in the open and do not act like it is something to be embarrassed about. Pray before you talk to your kids. The Lord will give you all the right words to say.
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Bookman and Rising Tree and tjlovesjesus, Trisa
Thanks for posting.
Dad's not that involved. I heard tapes by Dennis Rainey about talking to your kids about sex and they are age appropriate discussions. Me and my son have been talking on the topic of sex since he was 4 - as recommended by Dennis Rainey. Neither he nor I are embarrassed discussing it at this time. In a couple years that may change but right now, thats just not the issue. For those of you who have kids of any age, I highly recommend these tapes.
Thanks for posting.
Dad's not that involved. I heard tapes by Dennis Rainey about talking to your kids about sex and they are age appropriate discussions. Me and my son have been talking on the topic of sex since he was 4 - as recommended by Dennis Rainey. Neither he nor I are embarrassed discussing it at this time. In a couple years that may change but right now, thats just not the issue. For those of you who have kids of any age, I highly recommend these tapes.
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I'm glad it's comfortable for you to talk to him, but you must realize how rare this is. A teenage boy does not need his well-meaning mother counseling him about his emerging sexuality. He really does need a man with whom to consult. But given what you've said, I suppose you're giving him the second best option.
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Risen Tree
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Isn't there a man in your church who can befriend your son and answer his questions? It's tough for you as a single mom, I'm sure, but it really isn't the best thing for your son for you to do it...no matter how close your relationship.
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Dear Mom:
Yess-if Dad is available, please let him talk to your son. My dad talked to me about it, and I was fully prepared--I thought. When I did have a wet dream, I realized what had happened and was actually glad to be growing up in this way. If I had not known what we happening, I would have been scared to death. Even as it was, I awoke with my thinking confused at first. By the way, he earlier is told about this, the better. Embarassment is far more likely once he is fully into puberty, especially from Mom. I have a 12-year-old son, too. Enjoy your son's exuberant years.
Yess-if Dad is available, please let him talk to your son. My dad talked to me about it, and I was fully prepared--I thought. When I did have a wet dream, I realized what had happened and was actually glad to be growing up in this way. If I had not known what we happening, I would have been scared to death. Even as it was, I awoke with my thinking confused at first. By the way, he earlier is told about this, the better. Embarassment is far more likely once he is fully into puberty, especially from Mom. I have a 12-year-old son, too. Enjoy your son's exuberant years.
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Perhaps it would be best, if you knew a man in the church who would feel happy (and your son feels comfortable with) to discuss this.\
However, as someone else said, better you, his mother, than no-one. If no-one discusses it, he could get false information from the school yard.
However, as someone else said, better you, his mother, than no-one. If no-one discusses it, he could get false information from the school yard.
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Here's another take on this. A good church youth ministry should help here. When I was 12, we were taken on a boys-only camping trip (dads invited if dads available). We were told about God's plan for sex and the functions of puberty--including wet dreams. All was explained, from A-Z in an age-appropriate context, and nocturnal emissions were explained as perfectly normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. Boys without dads heard everything we heard, and though I had my dad there, some issues were raised that I would never have had the nerve to ask about.
By the way, when I had my first wet dream [one week before turning 13], I was still embarrassed about the thought that my mom would know. So--I threw my undershorts in the trash at the bottom of the can. Boys can share only so much with mom--and that was too, too much. The thought that she would look up at the breakfast table and say something like, "Well, Bill, I see we're turning into quite the little man," would have been too much to bear.
By the way, when I had my first wet dream [one week before turning 13], I was still embarrassed about the thought that my mom would know. So--I threw my undershorts in the trash at the bottom of the can. Boys can share only so much with mom--and that was too, too much. The thought that she would look up at the breakfast table and say something like, "Well, Bill, I see we're turning into quite the little man," would have been too much to bear.
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HonorTruth, Your experience of embarrassment with your mom possibly finding out sounds much more typical to me. Moms really don't understand. For an example, let's suppose I'm a single dad of a 13 year old daughter. Would I be the right person to tell my daughter about menstration, it's meaning to her life, and to direct her in the purchasing of the necessary sanitary napkin products? No! It would be very uncomfortable for us both, and the same is true for the moms and adolescent sons.
I commend your church. Would that every church would do this with their youth.
I commend your church. Would that every church would do this with their youth.
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