How many of us on here have no dating life?

[Old Soul life]

So we don't want to hear about others who do?

 

[TheRealAriel]

The question is a bit confusing. Your thread is asking who has no dating life, but the poll question asks if we are interested in hearing about the dating lives of others. Further it asks us to say "yes" or "no" about a question asked in the negative so it's hard to even know what you're voting for What are you looking to find out?

 

[Juan777]

Yes this yet the new Christian incel thread. Will all the incels please stand up!

Say it loud and say it proud.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Yes this yet the new Christian incel thread. Will all the incels please stand up!

Say it loud and say it proud.

Interesting that the word "incel" is used in a Christian platform as remaining celibate before marriage is favored. But in the context of a Christian message board, it's more about not even being able to get someone to date you or any kind of physical affection.

 

[Juan777]

Interesting that the word "incel" is used in a Christian platform as remaining celibate before marriage is favored. But in the context of a Christian message board, it's more about not even being able to get someone to date you or any kind of physical affection.

If you can not get married because nobody wants you then it sort of throws that argument of "before marriage" out of the window doesn't it? The fact is, if you are not able to date anyone, or even talk to someone (ie beyond duty-type/politeness type of talk) of the opposite sex, and you don't have the looks, then there is no hope of ever getting married is there?

There is no post anywhere, in the discussion of the "incel" topic that I'm ever talking about fornication, or illicit sex, and the context of sex is always within marriage itself. Even on a secular board, I would always maintain sex within a marriage and claim that "incel" means you can not get married period because no women will want marry you, either because of the circumstances, or because you are not connecting with anyone that would even eventually lead to marriage for a very long time.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

If you can not get married because nobody wants you then it sort of throws that argument of "before marriage" out of the window doesn't it? The fact is, if you are not able to date anyone, or even talk to someone (ie beyond duty-type/politeness type of talk) of the opposite sex, and you don't have the looks, then there is no hope of ever getting married is there?

There is no post anywhere, in the discussion of the "incel" topic that I'm ever talking about fornication, or illicit sex, and the context of sex is always within marriage itself. Even on a secular board, I would always maintain sex within a marriage and claim that "incel" means you can not get married period because no women will want marry you, either because of the circumstances, or because you are not connecting with anyone that would even eventually lead to marriage for a very long time.

Good point....you know, I think I've reached the point where I feel like making digs at women that blow me off or whatever. Call them out on their behavior if they blow me off ormake plans and ghost, etc.

 

[RoanokeIllinois]

what's a dating life? lol. I think before covid I had one. I've never been married, partially, because I'm more old fashion, and always figured if I ever did ask a woman to marry me, that it would last forever. For better or for worse.

I just think that too many people now adays are too quick to date just for a couple of months and then get married really quickly, without taking their time. To many people don't respect the vows that they take in front of others, and God, and the Pastor, when they say that they will be there for the other person, threw sickness and in health, for better or for worse.

I dunno, how much I believe in divorce, mainly, because I know at least on my end, if I do hopefully get married one day, I would do everything that I could, threw God's Grace, to bend over backwards to make the relationship work.

 

[Lost4words]

I been out with some right old dogs lately!!

 

[Juan777]

what's a dating life? lol. I think before covid I had one. I've never been married, partially, because I'm more old fashion, and always figured if I ever did ask a woman to marry me, that it would last forever. For better or for worse.

I just think that too many people now adays are too quick to date just for a couple of months and then get married really quickly, without taking their time. To many people don't respect the vows that they take in front of others, and God, and the Pastor, when they say that they will be there for the other person, threw sickness and in health, for better or for worse.

I dunno, how much I believe in divorce, mainly, because I know at least on my end, if I do hopefully get married one day, I would do everything that I could, threw God's Grace, to bend over backwards to make the relationship work.

You should avoid marriage and be MGTOW-monk mode because that not up to you. Most divorces are caused by women either directly or indirectly.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I just think that too many people now adays are too quick to date just for a couple of months and then get married really quickly, .

Actually, I find it to be quite the opposite, there are some that can go almost a decade of dating and being engaged, and then the relationship ends (or they marry).

 

[Niels]

I just think that too many people nowadays are too quick to date just for a couple of months and then get married really quickly, without taking their time.

Actually, I find it to be quite the opposite, there are some that can go almost a decade of dating and being engaged, and then the relationship ends (or they marry).

From what I've seen, both are more common these days. People who are perpetually engaged, and others who blindly rush into marriage, with less middle ground.

A year or two of dating sounds about right to me. Long enough to get an idea of what your significant other and her family is like, but not so long as to waste each others' time.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

From what I've seen, both are more common these days. People who are perpetually engaged, and others who blindly rush into marriage, with less middle ground.

A year or two of dating sounds about right to me. Long enough to get an idea of what your significant other and her family is like, but not so long as to waste each others' time.

Figured I'd revisit this thread...while I was at work, a co-worker asked new hire if she was married, she said that she was. I was kind of dumfounded as she barely looked drinking age, as most hires here are in their late teens and early 20s. She's very attractive, has a porcelain doll, fair look to her. Can't say I blame him for putting a ring on her. (just kidding) But still. lol

She said she was 19 years old and married, but her "qualifier", I am guessing, is the fact that she knew him since middle school (aw, how sweet *eye roll *).

My co-worker asked her what church she went to, and she told her....

This is what I'm finding with really devout Christians, when they marry early, there are 2 conditions in which they do so....they are devout Christians and live in small town America.

When I was 19, getting married was FAR from my mind.

 

[timewerx]

Figured I'd revisit this thread...while I was at work, a co-worker asked new hire if she was married, she said that she was. I was kind of dumfounded as she barely looked drinking age, as most hires here are in their late teens and early 20s. She's very attractive, has a porcelain doll, fair look to her. Can't say I blame him for putting a ring on her. (just kidding) But still. lol

She said she was 19 years old and married, but her "qualifier", I am guessing, is the fact that she knew him since middle school (aw, how sweet *eye roll *).

My co-worker asked her what church she went to, and she told her....

This is what I'm finding with really devout Christians, when they marry early, there are 2 conditions in which they do so....they are devout Christians and live in small town America.

When I was 19, getting married was FAR from my mind.

I think how some cultures look at money can influence marrying age.

People who think they can get comfortable with little tend to marry at a younger age. People who thinks they need to make a lot more money to start a family won't get married until they reach a certain financial goal.

It's not entirely stupid to think you can be comfortable with little especially if sustainable living can be achieved more easily like living in rural areas for example where the cost of living is a lot lower or living in a country with a highly socialized infrastructure like the Nordic countries in Europe.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I think how some cultures look at money can influence marrying age.

People who think they can get comfortable with little tend to marry at a younger age. People who thinks they need to make a lot more money to start a family won't get married until they reach a certain financial goal.

It's not entirely stupid to think you can be comfortable with little especially if sustainable living can be achieved more easily like living in rural areas for example where the cost of living is a lot lower or living in a country with a highly socialized infrastructure like the Nordic countries in Europe.

Not sure what you mean by cultures or what you mean at all with this post in regards to the 19 year old being married? Are you saying that these kids are comfortable working low wage jobs and still being married?

 

[timewerx]

Not sure what you mean by cultures or what you mean at all with this post in regards to the 19 year old being married? Are you saying that these kids are comfortable working low wage jobs and still being married?

I meant culture in the context of adopted behavior, beliefs, traditions, social norms of people living together and can differ depending on location or environment and among other things. For example, Western vs Asian culture, City vs Rural / countryside culture.

When you said the 19 year old lady came from "small town America" that would qualify her as having rural or countryside culture.

Low cost of living, close family ties in rural areas, like people simply inherit their parents' possessions which may include house, land, and even their means of earning money like a farm, etc. makes it much easier to live with low income or little education. It's not surprising to see someone coming from small town get married early and everyone's happy with it.

Of course, if you hate such countryside culture and you like the city culture a lot more, you can move to the city but you better make a lot more income to achieve financial stability. This means waiting more time until you achieve financial stability before getting married.

In some countries, like many countries in EU and even in Canada I think. You get generous government subsidy if the combined income of husband and wife is insufficient to support the family. It's enough to live on OR it gives you the option for either husband or wife to just stay at home and take care of the kids. Additionally, in Canada, the cost of college education is so darn cheap, so seriously, you don't need to make a lot of money to fulfill all the the needs of the family including top quality college education for the kids.

 

[Anabelle McClain]

Hey, I just saw this thread and am new here. What you said about the 19 year old girl was interesting. I think if God has shown you who you are meant to be with by age 19 then I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as the union makes the couple more effective for God's Kingdom.

Figured I'd revisit this thread...while I was at work, a co-worker asked new hire if she was married, she said that she was. I was kind of dumfounded as she barely looked drinking age, as most hires here are in their late teens and early 20s. She's very attractive, has a porcelain doll, fair look to her. Can't say I blame him for putting a ring on her. (just kidding) But still. lol

She said she was 19 years old and married, but her "qualifier", I am guessing, is the fact that she knew him since middle school (aw, how sweet *eye roll *).

My co-worker asked her what church she went to, and she told her....

This is what I'm finding with really devout Christians, when they marry early, there are 2 conditions in which they do so....they are devout Christians and live in small town America.

When I was 19, getting married was FAR from my mind.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Hey, I just saw this thread and am new here. What you said about the 19 year old girl was interesting. I think if God has shown you who you are meant to be with by age 19 then I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as the union makes the couple more effective for God's Kingdom.

"If God has shown you?" Not sure I follow, personally I think that's a cop-out to normal life choices or perhaps even poor life choices.

Not sure this really means anything, but I recall a while ago where a couple had a wedding date scheduled right after high school graduation. I said to her friend, "You know, couples that marry that young, typically have a high divorce rate statistically".
As crass as this sounds, I believe young Christians marry THAT young because they desire to loose their virginity to each other.
\
If not that, between the ages of 20 and 30, they may become to different, entirely incompatible people

 

[DragonFox91]

Who cares if they marry young. The question is about us older folks.

 

[DragonFox91]

People marry young for financial reasons. They also don’t realize how young they are. They live in the now. Their 18 years is their whole life & they haven’t seen anything yet & have little perspective of how young they are. If you’ve known someone for 5 years, that’s an eternity.

The reality is people have always married young. It used to be 14-15 in Bible times. I’d say couples older than them s/ be advising them not to be marrying so young, but more often then not, those couples older than them married young themselves. So it’d be hypocritical, kind of.

A lot of Christians tend to be very people-oriented too. This can explain why they marry young. It’s in their nature to want to be w/ people, w/ someone.

No it’s not just b/c they want to do each other. I like to imagine Christians especially are better than that. That being said, I'd bet most have already lost it by that time.

No homo, but I met my best friend in middle school. I’m 30 & he’s already 31. So yes, bonds can last even if they start young.

 

[Anabelle McClain]

"If God has shown you?" Not sure I follow, personally I think that's a cop-out to normal life choices or perhaps even poor life choices.

Not sure this really means anything, but I recall a while ago where a couple had a wedding date scheduled right after high school graduation. I said to her friend, "You know, couples that marry that young, typically have a high divorce rate statistically".
As crass as this sounds, I believe young Christians marry THAT young because they desire to loose their virginity to each other.
\
If not that, between the ages of 20 and 30, they may become to different, entirely incompatible people

I definitely agree with you that young adults still have so much to learn about themselves and about what they need in their future spouse. But I would still stick to the fact that God might show someone who their future someone is and that person may as well marry rather than burn with passion. But I also see how wisdom points toward growing up a bit before making THAT life changing of a decision.
I also have noticed that some Christian communities very much prioritize getting married and preach that to their youth. I think in situations like that the church sets the trend of marrying young.